


Loved You First

by Snowy38



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Larry Stylinson - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Anxiety, Bullying, Commanding Louis, Conflict, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hand Jobs, Harry Styles is Marcel, He lets his curls come down, Jealous Louis, Louis likes being called Daddy, M/M, Nervous Harry, Panic Attacks, Protective Louis, Sailing, Top Harry, Top Louis, Virgin Harry, Work Romance, light domination, louis likes harry in a tutu, troubled ex worker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-07
Updated: 2015-04-18
Packaged: 2018-03-16 18:33:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 100,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3498641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowy38/pseuds/Snowy38
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry has lived his life ruled by anxiety, bullied by overbearing work-mates and ridiculed for his geeky look. When a new boss starts Harry can barely look him in the eye but Louis appears to be on his side.<br/>Soon Harry develops feelings for the protective and supportive Louis but Louis tries to fight it at first. There's rumours about Louis at his last work place and his penchant for his secretaries so Harry has a right to feel insecure.<br/>Harry slowly lets his curls break free as Louis thaws him and they embark on a new beginning together.</p><p>Featuring Harry styled as Marcel, Niall as Louis' best friend and Zayn as Harry's gay mentor.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi People!!
> 
> I have so much to post so I am cracking on I hope you are keeping up ;) I hope you enjoy this as much as the others, it's not as smutty as the last one but hey. Keep talking to me :)
> 
> Ang
> 
> p.s this story has 15 chapters but it's not letting me put that in!

CHAPTER 1

 

Harry was stood at the photocopier when the new boss was brought in.

 

He felt exceptionally nervous using the photocopier, it was stood inside the boss’ office and his last boss, Jenna, had complained about this fact every day for the last six years. In fact, each time that Harry had gone to use it, he’d had to knock on the door, wait for permission to enter, then shuffle sheepishly across the room toward the mechanical contraption which he was sure hated him because it was forever getting jammed and spitting out his work angrily.

 

As if Harry wasn’t a nervous-enough person already, machinery had this vendetta against him and so he’d often end up flushed and flustered in the corner of the office, his large specs steaming up as he sweated uncontrollably at the slightest sign of malfunction.

 

Jenna of course, had treated him with outright disdain. Most of his colleagues kept their disdain to a mild form but his boss had made him more nervous than ever and his jumpiness was well-known around the office. He had actually become somewhat of a target to scare the crap out of and he often hunched over and scuttled about hoping not to get noticed.

 

He’d thought, in fact, that once he’d left school that his lack of coolness wouldn’t matter so much in the real world but that little idea had soon faded into harsh reality. No, he, Harry Styles, was always going to be a geek, always and forever.

 

As his current situation portrayed.

 

He was stood, gaping at the guy the HR manager, Chris, had just brought in, his hands shaking; giving away his jitters if his tense and hunched form hadn’t already. And the fact his mouth wouldn’t work wasn’t helping.

 

But still, his new boss was nothing like he’d expected. Sure, they’d been told an ‘up and coming’ executive would soon be taking Jenna’s seat in replacement and that he was ‘unorthodox’, but Harry hadn’t expected _this_. He was wearing beige chinos which his hands sat in the pockets of, he had casual dark brown loafers on his feet-no socks- and a soft, pale blue shirt that was hardly office-material, but still; it rested on his small but nicely-shaped form lovingly.

 

Harry could hardly bring himself to look the new guy in the face. He blushed hard and waited for Chris to speak first.

 

“Harry, meet Louis Tomlinson, your new boss,” Chris introduced.

 

Harry cleared the husk from his throat, still avoiding eye contact. He stepped forward, offering his hand.

 

“Um…hi,” he offered shyly, quietly.

 

Harry saw Louis lift his hand from his pocket to reciprocate his offered hand-shake but Louis kept his hand just far enough away not to meet his and it forced Harry to look up.

 

He met two blue-grey eyes that smiled kindly, despite the same action of the owner’s lips. A handsome, almost model-like face tilted as Harry’s hand met Louis’ and Harry flicked his eyes over his boss’s chestnut brown hair that sat a little too long to be classed as business-like.

 

Harry realized they were still shaking hands and quickly let go, gulping nervously and wiping his sweaty palm against his thigh.

 

“Nice to meet you, Harry,” Louis extended with a warm voice.

 

Harry frowned. He sounded nice but then so had Jenna at first. He dipped his gaze, his usual practice around his old boss and quickly turned to leave the room.

 

A casual arm darted out; blocking his exit.

 

“Please, finish your copying,” Louis insisted.

 

Harry grimaced. _Oh shoot_. He now had to try and work the machine while not completely hyperventilating. Good luck lungs, he sighed.

 

Chris began talking again as Harry practically hugged the copier.

 

“Harry is your personal secretary and he sits just outside your office,” Chris explained dutifully. “He’s very accomplished in office skills as you’d expect and he used to accompany Jenna on business trips and such the like as required…”

 

“Really?” Louis enquired, his husky voice rising in octaves with interest at this news. “That’s very good of you,” Louis directed to the young man, noticeably showing Chris up for talking about Harry as though he wasn’t there.

 

Again, Harry found this strange. He was so used to being part of the furniture, mostly treated like the carpet, even, that he didn’t expect anyone to acknowledge his presence in the room.

 

He tensed even more, praying for the machine to stop spitting out copies, which it did and he grabbed his load of papers; hugging them to his chest as he sunk his head down and left the room without being stopped this time.

 

He sighed with relief as he made it to his desk, forgetting that his fan was on as he laid his stack of papers down and the top few sheets were cast off in the breeze; fluttering around his desk.

 

“Hey, idiot!” Jack Jenkins called from the next bank of desks. “Turn your fan off!”

 

He started to laugh and several others around him joined in, leaving Harry to blush madly as he clicked off his fan- the entire reason he had a fan at all thanks to his tendency to go bright red all the time.

 

He checked around him self-consciously before moving to pick the discarded sheets up. He got onto his hands and knees and began his task, crawling around the floor. He startled as his hand clashed with someone else’s.

 

“Sor-” He began, speechless as he looked up into blue eyes again. “-ry,” he finished awkwardly as his new boss collected up the reminder of his papers.

 

“No harm done,” Louis assured; resting the sheets on Harry’s now breeze-free desk.

 

Harry swallowed, avoiding eye-contact again. Jenna would have ripped him out for something like this, he was just waiting for Louis to lay into him and tell him what an idiot he was, the same way Jack had done.

 

“I’d like to have a meeting with you in the morning,” Louis said smoothly, even though the moment was awkward.

 

Harry wondered how Louis managed it considering his innate ability to make everyone else around him uneasy.

 

“Okay,” Harry agreed lowly.

 

“If you can fit something in first thing, I’d really appreciate it,” Louis added.

 

Harry nodded. Great. He was probably letting him go. Two minutes in the job and he could already tell what a fuck-up he was. He sighed.

 

“First thing,” he repeated, pressing his lips in at the side.

 

Harry sensed Louis hover, saw him shift from foot to foot, but couldn’t read his expression because he still couldn’t look him in the face.

 

“I have a lot to get up to speed with, so I’m tied up all afternoon,” Louis continued. “But I’ll leave my door open in case you need the copier again…”

 

Harry smirked. _Would he hell as like_. He’d rather dip his toe in acid than tempt fate with the copier again in the same day.

 

“I think I’ll be okay,” he muttered.

 

Louis turned to stride into his new room and Harry sat at his desk with a relieved breath out, trying to desperately get a grip on his shot nerves. He ran a hand over his slicked-back hair to make sure the curls that were usually so natural and abundant hadn’t broken free of the hold of his gel and he shunted his brown glasses up his nose; not looking as geeky as he thought he did.

 

His demeanor may scream nerd but his top-framed glasses and preppy 50’s style actually made him stand out from the crown in a good way; only Harry would never know it.

 

He let his shaking hands settle before he began sorting through his now mixed-up sheets.

 

“Don’t blow it all away!” Jack teased as he came by Harry’s desk; swiping the sheets off the top of his okay pile; littering them to the floor.

 

Harry pressed his lips together in annoyance, feeling tears prick the back of his eyes as he desperately tried not to cry. Instead, his face flushed red and he sucked in a defeated breath.

 

“Aw, is ickle Harry all shy…” Jack goaded, moving on before he got caught out; swaggering toward the kitchen area of the office.

 

Harry turned his head and watched him go, a look of wistfulness crossing his face. If only he had some of Jack Jenkins’ confidence, he mused.

 

He went about collecting up the second batch of strewn papers and sat down to sort them all through, vowing to stay late to make up the time it took to do so.

 

//

 

“So, Harry,” Louis signaled for Harry to take a seat on a comfortable chair in his office- a chair that hadn’t been here yesterday.

 

Harry noted that Louis had also dragged his chair out from behind his desk so they could face each other without the big wooden object in the way. Again, Harry couldn’t help noticing how differently Louis did things to Jenna.

 

He bit his lower lip, waiting for Louis to give him the bad news he’d been worrying all night about. He began to jig his leg nervously; unconsciously as he waited for the words.

 

 _I’m letting you go_.

 

“…and I’m really impressed with what I’ve seen,” Louis was saying.

 

Harry jerked his head up. What?

 

“Erm…do you mind saying that again?” Harry asked meekly, blushing.

 

He dropped his eyes from the kind blue-grey ones shyly.

 

“I said I’ve read your resume and seen the work you’ve done here for Jenna and I’m really impressed with what I’ve seen,” Louis repeated patiently.

 

Harry frowned, confusedly.

 

“So you’re not letting me go?” He checked of this sentence, wondering if he might have missed something, or just plain misheard.

 

Louis spat out some indignant laughter.

 

“Letting you go?” He scoffed. “Harry, I asked you in here to offer you a promotion…”

 

Harry looked up and blinked, three times. Okay, this wasn’t funny any more. Maybe one of the guys had paid Louis to mess with him, whatever. He was either dreaming or this was one big joke being played on his ass right now.

 

“How can you possibly know that after one day?” Harry challenged softly.

 

Louis smirked. “What staggers me is how Jenna _couldn’t_ see that after six years in this position,” he mused.

 

Harry tried to keep his gaze on Louis’ face. His handsome, good-looking face. He swallowed. No, he couldn’t think his boss was good-looking that was just all kinds of wrong. He blushed again for even thinking such a thing.

 

Louis put the pen he was holding to his lips and tilted his head in that way again, like he was considering him. Harry found the action awkward and uncomfortable.

 

“What job do you want me to do then?” Harry wondered, knowing he couldn’t cope with a lot more than his current role thanks to his inordinate nervousness.

 

“PA,” Louis supplied. “It’s the job you already do, but with better pay,” he explained.

 

Harry swallowed. “I don’t think I deserve it,” he offered huskily.

 

“No, I can see that,” Louis observed gently. “But you do and it’s my job to make sure my staff get what they deserve…”

 

Harry frowned. How could he see that? By Harry’s constant blushing, by his screaming awkwardness?

 

“Okay,” he agreed, pressing his lips together and biting his lower one still.

 

“Good,” Louis said and Harry went to get up.

 

Louis put a hand out, not touching him, but enough to signal for him to sit back down.

 

“I’m not quite finished,” Louis added.

 

Harry gulped. _Oh god, what now?_

 

“I have it from a reliable source that Jenna ran this department with something of an iron fist,” Louis recounted the stories he’d heard.

 

Harry almost smirked, almost but caught himself in time. Who had told him that, he mused? Some brave, poor soul…

 

“I want you to know that’s not how I work,” Louis said. “I treat my staff with respect and I expect them to work hard and be loyal in return…”

 

Harry nodded. He really didn’t understand why Louis was telling him all this, he was probably the hardest-working and most loyal member of the team.

 

“I don’t want you to stay until seven at night anymore,” he said, surprising Harry with his words.

 

_How did he know about that?!_

 

“If I need you to stay, I’ll ask and I’ll pay you overtime, otherwise you can do whatever tasks are needed during your normal working hours.”

 

Harry sighed. _Even sorting papers out? Ones that were messed up because of his own dumb actions?_

 

“Harry?”

 

“Yes, Mr. Tomlinson,” Harry agreed, thinking Louis was prompting him into acknowledging he’d heard.

 

Louis leaned forward; his forearms resting on his knees which made Harry jolt up to look at him as he tried to peer into his face.

 

“You can call me Louis,” his boss said.

 

Harry managed a weak smile. “Okay.”

 

“Try it,” Louis said and Harry frowned.

 

What? This was too weird.

 

“Louis,” he said, softly, with his usual shyness.

 

“Good,” Louis smiled; pleased with this apparently which made Harry frown even harder.

 

He flicked his eyes around the room; seeking escape. He was on the edge of his seat, waiting to eject from his chair but Louis still wasn’t done and Harry felt his stomach twist anxiously.

 

“Right, okay, now I’d like to hear what you want…” Louis led.

 

“What?” Harry choked.

 

Louis pursed his lips and rested his ankle on his other knee; leaning back.

 

“Tell me what you’d like from your job and from me…” he encouraged.

 

Harry licked his lips. He didn’t think he’d ever been asked this question before in his life. At work, at least. His friend Karen had asked him, of course, during their many gossip-sessions. The thought of his best friend made him smile unconsciously and his whole body relaxed for those moments he reminisced about their good times.

 

Louis watched his PA grin inanely, off in a world of his own and waited for him to reply.

 

“I can’t think of anything,” Harry murmured.

 

Louis nodded and Harry saw the movement in the corner of his eye.

 

“Alright, we’ll come back to that one,” he suggested. “Are the packs ready for the meeting later?” He checked of Harry’s stack of copies he’d been busy sorting previously.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Great, I need you to take minutes and type them up for me in the morning, please,” he added.

 

“Standard practice,” Harry assured.

 

“I also need you to book us some flights and hotels, I’ll email you the details,” Louis dropped in casually, something that made Harry’s lungs go tight with fear.

 

 _Already? Travelling?_ Didn’t Jenna tell him how bad he was at overseas trips? He gulped down his fear and blushed hotly as he felt Louis’ gaze on him.

 

“Chris did say you were okay to travel…” Louis broached of Harry’s apparent tension.

 

“I am,” Harry said quickly, a little too harshly.

 

What Louis didn’t know, and he wasn’t about to share with him, was that travelling with Jenna had almost given him a nervous break-down with the way the woman barked orders at him and made him innately jittery, increasing his chances of doing something stupid and thus multiplying his awkwardness and sending him a vicious circle of nerves versus calamity.

 

“Okay, well, that’s all,” Louis dismissed Harry gently.

 

Harry made a beeline for the kitchen and went about making himself a tea.

 

“Oh my god Harry!” Karen Black hissed, making Harry jump a mile.

 

“What?” He turned, annoyed.

 

“Haven’t you heard?” Her face was practically lit up with glee.

 

“Heard what?” Harry mused.

 

“Jack got given instant dismissal this morning. He’s gone!” She shared.

 

Harry frowned. “What?”

 

“Apparently they had a whole file on him; they were just waiting for the last straw to break…” She divulged.

 

“What was the last straw?” Harry asked, a strange sense of creeping beginning in his belly.

 

“Apparently he came onto the new girl in HR and that was it,” she smirked. “Out.”

 

Harry let out a breath of relief. For one fearful minute there he thought it was because of what Louis had witnessed yesterday.

 

“He’s really gone, just like that?” He checked.

 

Karen nodded and grinned excitedly.

 

“Thank god for that,” he expressed honestly to his trusted work friend- the only person in the building he saw out of work.

 

Karen came over and hugged him. “Things are going to get better,” she promised.

 

Harry pulled away with a shy smile.

 

He really hoped so.

 

//

 

Harry was reading through the email that Louis had sent him regarding the overseas trip he'd mentioned. 

 

There was a new client interested in their advertising services and Louis was making a presentation to them in a hotel in California. The company sold surf boards and wanted to go global.

 

Louis' email detailed the research he needed Harry to do and he was even giving him leeway to show off his artistic talent by producing a marketing brochure to show the client exactly what they could offer.

 

Jenna had never let him do presentations because of his nervous nature and any skill he'd shown in creating story boards and jingles had been claimed as her own.

 

It surprised Harry that Louis was giving him this chance to shine but he knew he'd never be able to speak in front of a group so he stood up to tell Louis that in case he wanted to pick another delegate to take abroad. 

 

Harry approached Louis' office, licking his lips and wiping his hands together to rid the sweat accumulating there.  He paused hesitantly before knocking. 

 

The door was already open and Louis lifted his gaze to his visitor, his blue grey gaze direct and shrewd.

 

Harry instantly looked to his fiddly hands and blushed.

 

"Erm...can I come in?" Harry stuttered. 

 

Louis leaned back and smiled.

 

"As my PA you don't need to ask," he assured.

 

Harry flicked him a look of bemusement.  

 

"Err...okay," he frowned confusedly, coming into the room toward the chair to sit down.

 

Some how his toe caught the runners and he stumbled forward, grasping the edge of the desk tightly to stop his fall.

 

"Shoot," he hissed, quickly righting himself with beet-red cheeks, his lower lip taken between his teeth. "Sorry," he added to his boss. 

 

"Why sorry?" Louis enquired, intrigued.

 

Harry chewed on his rather full and already ravaged lower lip. 

 

He cleared his throat deciding to broach his topic of conversation since it was relevant.

 

"You probably noticed I'm a little klutzy," Harry murmured in his deep, husky voice, pushing his glasses up his nose. "And Jenna was very clear about the impression she wanted this company to leave on our clients..."

 

Louis tilted his head and steepled his fingers, an empathetic look on his face which Harry found strangely comforting.

 

"That is, an impression of capability,” Harry cleared his throat again.  "I understand that _how I am_ does not fit in with the company image,” he added.

 

Louis was frowning now, biting his lip in a way that made Harry think he was fighting back words.

 

"I'm happy to do the work for the presentation, Mr. Tomlinson, but I think we all know that I can’t speak in front of people..."

 

Louis lifted his brows, still not speaking as he sensed Harry wasn't done.

 

"I used to do the work and Jenna presented it." He finished. 

 

Louis nodded, considering his words.

 

“If you didn’t present it, how did you get accolade for what you did?” Louis wondered.

 

Harry blushed again. “I didn’t,” he admitted honestly.

 

Louis blinked. “I want that to change,” he countered equally honestly.

 

Harry darted his eyes up, for the first time meeting his boss’s for longer than thirty seconds. He saw something in those depths, something he couldn’t decipher. And then he felt warmth spread right through him; heating his body deliciously and warning him that this was the first sign of attraction.

 

Warning him, because he absolutely could not find his boss attractive, he reminded himself sternly. Even if he was inhumanly handsome and was about the epitome of calm.

 

He didn’t know what to say in response to Louis’ words about wanting him to take praise for his work. He hoped his boss might give him some reprieve and save him his stuttering blushes.

 

“I know it’ll be uncomfortable for you, but I’d really like to see you present your brochure to the new client in the boardroom,” Louis added softly. “I want you to realise that _how you are_ ; as you put it, does not detract from your talent.”

 

 _If anything, it adds to it,_ Louis silently added in his mind. In fact, how Harry was, absolutely made his appeal even stronger but the shy PA would never know it.

 

Harry squirmed in his seat.

 

“But what if I trip and fall?” he murmured, his thoughts spoken aloud and as if realizing too late, his eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. “Never mind,” he said quickly. “I’ll do the presentation like you asked. I’ll get right onto it, in fact…”

 

He stood and circled the chair, grasping the door handle and pulling it open quickly; catching his glasses frames as his hand moved quicker than his body and he paused with an annoyed lip-press before scurrying out; plonking himself in his seat where he could sufficiently hide for the rest of the afternoon.

 

//

 

It was while Louis was in a meeting that Harry ventured back into his office to carry out some copying.

 

He’d booked their flights and hotel, including the added extras that his boss had requested- a Jacuzzi and massage package for two which bemused Harry since they weren’t allowed to bring partners so he couldn’t envisage Louis’ wife getting to enjoy those treats but still, it wasn’t his place to ask questions.

 

He was just running off meeting agendas and packs as he leaned back and folded his arms; relaxing his taut body. He really hoped the California trip would be the start of something new for him. A challenge, but one he felt supported in achieving thanks to Louis, who although still new, had accomplished more in boosting Harry's confidence than Jenna had in her six years there.

 

In fact Harry began to wonder if she’d actually done the opposite and pulled him down.

 

He frowned thoughtfully; turning to lean against the copier with his forearms; bending over it so the machine could take his weight for a moment while he considered his future. He didn’t hear his boss come in, so he startled when Louis spoke.

 

“Getting comfortable there?” Louis joked.

 

Harry smirked as he straightened.

 

“Just a little,” Harry smiled bashfully.

 

“Go ahead,” he invited softly, taking his seat as Harry leaned back against the machine, facing outwards.

 

“I’ve booked our flights and hotel and um…your extras,” Harry added.

 

Louis flicked him a look. “Thank you,” he appreciated.

 

“Um…will you be bringing your wife?” Harry wondered, lowering his gaze.

 

Louis grinned and Harry quickly swooped his gaze up to catch it.

 

“Ah…no wife,” he shared. “And girls don’t really do it for me,” he added, humoured.

 

Harry swallowed on his dry throat.

 

“Oh,” he managed, unable to say much more.

 

Louis regarded him with an amused smile.

 

“Tell me if I’m sharing too much. I got into a lot of trouble at my last place for being over-familiar with staff…”

 

Harry shot him a look, hearing nothing but innuendo in those words. How familiar, exactly, he wondered? He shivered imperceptibly at the idea of being ‘over familiar’ with the casual and handsome Mr. Tomlinson.

 

“No, it’s okay,” Harry reassured his boss that he could be as familiar as he pleased without repercussions.

 

He collected up his copies which had now finished printing.

 

“I’m all done here,” he announced softly, heading for the door.

 

And he frowned as he realized he hadn’t stuttered, tripped or blushed once during that conversation with Louis.

 

//

 

Harry was seeking refuge in the staff kitchen.

 

He'd gone into the meeting this afternoon with Louis to hand out the meeting packs he'd prepped and his hands had shaken so badly the papers had rustled noisily with each pack he struggled to dish out. Eventually he'd given up on that task and went about getting the overhead projector into working order, clumsily adjusting the lens and failing his password three times logging in which caused the PC to lock and after an embarrassing and far too challenging conversation with IT, he'd finally gotten the presentation for today's meeting ready to deliver.

 

Louis had watched him calmly and murmured 'don't worry' several times while he simultaneously entertained their colleagues something which Harry envied him his ability to do.

 

Still, he'd had to sit in and take shorthand notes with the shakiest of hands and reddest of cheeks, sure he'd never read a word of his script afterwards. 

 

And now he was in here, hiding by the kettle even though his lanky and lean body couldn't be hidden from anyone, really.  He gripped the counter and sighed, bowing his head as he fought not to cry.

 

He hated being this way, being so damn awkward and nervous all the time. He hated going red at the smallest thing. He hated his big shaky hands and sweaty palms and he detested being teased for it even more. 

 

Simon from Accounts sauntered into the kitchen behind him and Harry felt his smirk more than saw it.

 

"Great job in there, Styles," the over-confident man goaded.

 

Harry swallowed, his angry, frustrated tears never closer to the surface than now.

 

He knew how awkward he was, how geeky. He didn't need reminding. 

 

He nodded in acknowledgement and turned to go, minus the tea he'd so far failed to make. Simon stepped across to block his exit.

 

"I mean, really, you got a promotion and you can't even get a projector to work..."

 

Harry swallowed,  keeping his gaze to the floor as he was so used to doing. 

 

"So what did you do to get it then?" Simon wondered.

 

 _Get what?_ Harry wondered, deliberately not replying. 

 

"What did you do to get the promotion, geek? Suck his cock maybe?" Simon suggested lewdly and Harry gasped, looking up.

 

"No!" He whispered, pale and shaky.

 

"Took him up your ass then?" Simon decided. 

 

Harry shook his head, a bitter smile crossing his lips as he gazed back at the ground. He knew he shouldn't have accepted the promotion, he didn't deserve it. Simon told him so, too.

 

"Hope your ass isn't too sore; I expect King Louis will want to fuck a little more out of you for what you're getting paid."

 

Harry gulped down his anger; his preferred response shelved; which would have no doubt been punctuated with the sobs he ached to release. He was mortified but he didn’t know if that was more because Simon had worked out his sexuality and was ridiculing him because of it, or because Simon was suggesting Louis would want to fuck him at all because Harry couldn’t even consider that notion.

 

Luckily for him he was saved from falling apart.

 

“Harry, there you are, I was looking for-” Louis trailed off as he flicked his eyes over Harry’s more-than-normal hunched form, bright red cheeks and Simon’s rather belligerent presence behind him.

 

Louis noted how Simon’s eyes were fixed to Harry’s behind, which was showcased in his tight work trousers nicely as Louis had observed himself when he walked in on Harry leaned over the copier.

 

“Sorry,” Louis leaned his weight back onto his heels, feigning relaxed assuredness that he didn’t fully feel. In fact, he felt like belting the Accounts guy but he had no idea why. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you on your break…”

 

Harry tucked his chin into his chest and sped by him; heading out of the kitchen and straight toward the toilets, leaving Louis with his colleague.

 

“Is everything alright?” Louis checked of Simon’s presence.

 

Simon lifted his chin with a smug grin on his face, his hands slipped into his pockets as if knowing he had gotten to Harry.

 

“Everything is fine,” Simon replied silkily, putting Louis on edge. “Absolutely fine…” he murmured as he too passed by Louis.

 

//

 

When Harry finally came back from the toilets his eyes were noticeably red rimmed and when he trailed into Louis’ office upon his request, he felt utterly ashamed at being so obviously upset at work.

 

Sometimes he felt so vulnerable, like he could never really excel in this world of advertising which often required steel and cut-throat tactics. Jenna had made him believe he was there out of her pity for him alone, convincing him that he’d never survive in the ‘real world’ and that without this job, he’d be unemployable.

 

It was with this rock-bottom self-esteem, and a complete wretchedness that he sat down, never more conscious of who he really was and how he didn’t fit in here.

 

“Harry,” Louis called his name out softly with a husk.

 

Harry was surprised at hearing his name, expecting his boss to launch into whatever it was he’d been looking for him for. He peeked up under his glasses.

 

“I’d like you to tell me what happened in the kitchen,” Louis asked then.

 

“Nothing, Mr. Tomlinson. Just banter,” he replied easily, his usual response to such questions- which usually came from Karen.

 

Louis regarded him with a long and measured look and Harry didn’t know why, but he got the impression Louis knew exactly what had gone in the kitchen and he was just testing to see if Harry would tell him. He swallowed, lowering his eyes shyly, a blush decorating his cheeks which made him sigh in annoyance.

 

He just thought he was getting the hang of not blushing in front of his boss, too…

 

“Alright,” Louis let the subject go. “The reason I was looking for you is because I need you to read through some of the notes from the meeting. I have to send an email off tonight and I hoped you’d be able to read them out…”

 

Harry nodded, getting up to fetch his notepad, squinting as his near-indecipherable writing.

 

He cleared his throat, twisting his lips, Simon’s words still strong in his ears.

 

“Are you sure you want me to come with you on the California trip?” Harry asked softly. “After seeing me today you can get an idea of how bad it’ll get over there…”

 

Louis lifted his brows at Harry’s words which had delayed his task at hand momentarily.

 

“I’m sure,” Louis said only, wondering if Harry would say more. He saw his lips twitch and waited patiently for him to speak again.

 

Harry sighed and bit at his full lower lip, red and soft.

 

“I don’t deserve this promotion or to go on the trip,” he stated quietly. “It’d be easier for all of us if you choose someone else to take.”

 

Louis blinked, his eyes going hard if Harry was looking at him to notice. He wasn’t. He waited nervously for Louis’ response, wondering if his boss was fed up of him yet, fed up of his useless pitiful state of being.

 

“So, who would you suggest I take?” Louis asked calmly, with that soothing tone of his that Harry's ears seemed to strain to hear. “Simon?” he added knowingly.

 

Harry gulped.

 

 _Holy cow._ He was getting in far too deep, here. He couldn’t get Simon into trouble; he’d never survive the consequences.

 

“Anyone, really…” he tailed off, annoyed at suggesting it now.

 

“I don’t want ‘anyone’,” Louis assured. “I want my exceptionally talented PA there.”

 

Harry frowned. _Exceptionally talented?_ What on earth made Louis believe that, he wondered? He wriggled uncomfortably in his chair and flipped open his notebook, the subject closed.

 

“Shall I just read them from the start?” He asked.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Louis relax and peeked his eyes up, catching the tail end of a smile. He didn’t let himself wonder why Louis looked so happy.

 

//

 

Harry took a deep breath before he entered the office the following morning. Karen caught up with him in the kitchen, a happy smile on her face as she hugged him largely.

 

He turned and pulled her into his body, needing her enthusiastic embrace more than she would ever know.

 

“Hey, what’s all this?” he wondered bashfully.

 

“I haven’t seen you all week,” Karen complained lightly, straightening his tie and brushing non-existent fluff off his wide shoulders. “And you’re the best hugger…”

 

Harry smiled lopsidedly, blushing lightly.

 

“You think so?” He asked shyly.

 

She tilted her head. “Harry tell me how it is that you’re still single?”

 

He bit his lip. It was true, it had been quite some time since he’d been with a man and actually, not many people knew that he’d not even _been_ with a man in the real sense of the word. Kissed, groped, made out with but nothing more.

 

The thought of still being a virgin made him cringe. He was twenty-two and about as green as they came. He ventured his eyes to his best friend, grateful for Karen’s unwavering support.

 

He shrugged in reply to her question. “I just am I guess.”

 

Karen wrapped her arms around his waist and smiled up into his face.

 

“I know a guy. I think you should meet him. We can go out as a four and we’ll go bowling. Is Saturday okay?” She asked.

 

Harry swallowed. Liam was her boyfriend who he’d met several times when they’d met up outside of work.

 

“Who’s the guy?” He wondered.

 

She tipped up a shoulder.

 

“A friend of Liam’s. He saw your picture on my Facebook and was asking me about you…”

 

Harry bit into his lower lip harshly, his stomach turning at the idea of meeting someone.

 

“What was he asking?” He asked softly, lowly.

 

Karen smiled softly. “Just who you were, if he could meet you…”

 

Harry blinked, broken eyes falling to the floor.

 

“He won’t want me,” Harry said very quietly, almost a whisper.

 

Karen frowned. “What? Are you kidding?” She gaped.

 

Harry was tall, lean and just the right side of broad and unusually soft with his muscular frame. He wore clothes from the 50’s and looked cute as hell with his hair slicked into a quiff and glasses framing his pretty green eyes. But his heart was so fragile and so _big_. She just knew somebody was going to be _so proud_ to be with him one day.

 

Harry pulled out of her hug. He sighed softly, turning toward his desk with a resolute step.

 

Karen followed hot on his heels, a defiantly angry frown crawling across her face. She grabbed his elbow and span him as he reached his desk, jutting her chin up to meet his gaze due to their vast height difference.

 

“You're sexy and amazing and I love you,” Karen stated quickly, emphatically. “There’s literally thousands of guys out there who would want you, Harry if you just let them…”

 

Harry startled as Louis entered the office on the tail end of Karen’s speech. His friend hadn’t seen Louis yet so Harry quickly made a ‘cut’ motion slicing his hand across his throat.

 

“No, don’t tell me to be quiet,” his feisty friend raged on while he closed his eyes and felt the blush creep up his chest onto his neck.

 

“Kar-” He attempted.

 

“No, Harry, I’m not done. I don’t know why you seem to think you’re not worthy of love, but you are okay, you _so_ are…and when you meet the guy that thinks he’s capable of being your guy then he’s going by me first to make absolutely sure before you let yourself fall all the way, Harry, because when you do I want to be on the sidelines, cheering,” she enthused.

 

Harry smiled wanly and opened his eyes, afraid of what he might see. Louis had paused a few feet from Harry’s desk on his route to his office which meant passing the desk to get to the door. Harry found his gaze lifting towards his boss; silently wondering what he made of all this.

 

“Morning, Mr. Tomlinson,” he greeted awkwardly, giving him a bemused smile to silently apologise for Karen’s outburst.

 

Karen seemed to gasp in realization and span round; grinning sweetly at her boss.

 

“Mr. Tomlinson, I didn’t see you there,” she added breathlessly.

 

Louis had the grace to smile; trying to keep his amusement out of his sparkling eyes.

 

“So I see,” he graced.

 

“I…uh, I’ll get back to my desk now,” she offered, turning to Harry and kissing his cheek gently, leaning up to whisper in his ear. “Saturday, eight o’clock, no excuses,” she murmured before she moved away.

 

Harry dropped his gaze now he was left alone with his boss.

 

“I’ll type up those minutes from the meeting,” he narrated as he sat in his seat and stared at his computer determinedly.

 

“You have a good friend there, Harry,” Louis offered.

 

Harry swallowed, not sure what to say.

 

“Yeah…yeah, I do,” he smiled just slightly at the thought, wondering how much Louis had heard.

 

“Bring me the notes once their done, please,” he said before he moved into his office and closed the door.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your kudos and kind words, sorry that this is showing as completed, I have no idea how to fix that!!
> 
> Ang

** chapter 2 **

 

Saturday came around too quickly for Harry’s liking. Karen and Liam were picking him up and they were all meeting ‘Zayn’ at the bowling alley.

 

He’d chosen some jeans and a bowling shirt for his expedition; the two-tone cotton shirt suiting his slicked hair and top-framed glasses.

 

He’d splashed on some after-shave; made sure his baby-face was smooth and cleaned his bright teeth. His lips were pursed, pink and full, his eyes shone green and innocent. If it weren’t for the nervous shaking of his hands and anxious sweat on his upper lip, he might pass for decent. As it was, he was fighting the urge to throw up.

 

A knock on his door signaled his friends’ arrival and he quickly moved to let them in so as not to get the idea to back out on tonight. He swung his door open to receive a fond hug from Karen. Liam shook his hand.

 

“Harry,” he greeted. “You look great,” he added warmly.

 

Harry remembered that about Liam, his warm brown eyes and crinkle-eyed smile.

 

“Good to see you again,” Harry greeted; sure he’d transferred some of the nervous sweat on his hand to Liam’s as he watched the other lad wipe his palm down his denim jacket.

 

He blushed.

 

“Shall we?” He suggested of their departure, keen to get going on this god-awful night. It was bound to end in disappointment and awkwardness so why draw it out?

 

In the car, Harry fiddled with his hands until they reached the alley and then he climbed out and approached the entrance, seeing a small-framed guy stood there, all slim and angular with cheekbones to die for.

 

His hair was black and quiffed, his lashes so curly and beautiful, Harry found himself mesmerized, but not in the way that he was sure Karen had hoped. Zayn wasn’t really Harry’s ‘type’ at all, but he looked dangerous and sexy in his leather jacket and when Harry met his deep brown gaze, he felt like this could be an opportunity to make an excellent gay friend.

 

“Hey,” Zayn grinned, his white teeth flashing against his coffee-skin. “You must be Harry…”

 

Harry nodded, smiling back.

 

“Zayn, right?”

 

Zayn nodded, too.

 

“You ready to bowl?” Zayn checked, instantly taking any tension out of the moment.

 

“Sure,” Harry agreed, pleasantly surprised at the ease of this meeting.

 

They all headed inside and got settled in their lane, choosing names and balls as they got ready for battle.

 

Harry was hopeless at bowling. Really, he should have mentioned that to Karen because he felt utterly useless each time he failed to send his ball down the runway in any kind of straight line and he tried to shrug off his inability with dimpled smiles and bemused lip-biting.

 

In the end, Zayn chose to help him.

 

It wasn’t as weird as Harry thought it might be, having the devastatingly handsome Zayn curled around him, guiding his frame into doing something coordinated. He was sure if it was another guy doing this, a guy he felt more attracted to, he’d be the usual stuttering mess he seemed to be most of the time lately but something about Zayn’s cool sexiness calmed his ravaged nerves although he had no idea why.

 

“Okay, launch,” Zayn said in his ear and Harry grinned, following orders. His ball trundled down the alley with slow anticipation and Harry gasped as it knocked down four pins.

 

“No way!” He smiled widely, his dimples deepening.

 

He turned and gave Zayn a huge hug, drawing away shyly as he realized what he was doing.

 

Zayn chuckled.

 

“Don’t be shy with those hugs, man,” he teased.

 

Harry actually rolled his eyes, a teasing gesture he’d never have the courage to use normally.

 

“Karen says that too,” he shared.

 

Zayn smiled. “What did you think; when she told you I wanted to meet you?”

 

Harry bit his lip. “Honestly? I was nervous…”

 

“Why?” Zayn tilted his head, surprised.

 

“Because I have no idea why anyone would want to meet me,” he admitted.

 

Zayn bit into his own lip.

 

“Because you’re beautiful,” he said openly, blinking his curly lashes down gently, like he was seducing the taller lad with them.

 

Harry blinked, too, stunned. He startled as he heard his name being called.

 

“Come on, princess, your go,” Liam teased as he and Karen had taken their turns while Harry and Zayn chatted.

 

Harry lightly punched Liam’s solid shoulder and lifted a brow.

 

“Watch out, Payne,” he warned ineffectively as he climbed up the alley and bowled his next ball; without Zayn's help the thing slid into the gutter and failed to hit any targets.

 

He smiled self-depreciatively and joined his friends in the pod.

 

//

 

Zayn offered to walk Harry home, seemingly keen to spend more time with him. Harry found it strange that anyone might want to spend more time with him let alone the dark and handsome Zayn.

 

He flicked looks across to the good-looking, slim built guy and wondered why he didn't feel attraction toward him. He was literally every guys’ -and girls’- dream with his tinted skin. dark hair and stubble adding a danger to his slight look.

 

"So..." Harry cleared his throat, hoping to start a new conversation.  They both had their hands in their pockets, both quiet but casual walking side by side. 

 

Zayn smiled, flashing his white teeth.

 

"So..." He echoed, signaling Harry should choose their topic of conversation. 

 

Harry licked his lips.

 

"Thanks for walking with me," Harry offered. 

 

Zayn chuckled.

 

"I'm two streets away and anyway, what kind of guy would I be if I let you walk home alone?" He teased.

 

Harry dimpled.

 

"Are you saying I'm a girl?” He mocked. 

 

"You _are_ pretty," he defended his assumption.

 

Harry blushed, still not sure how to handle Zayn’s attention. It was as he went to open his mouth that he was interrupted.

 

"Harry is that you?" A warm, familiar voice asked.  Harry looked away from Zayn to find none other than Louis in front if him, walking the opposite way through town.

 

"Mr. Tomlinson," he said, out of habit.

 

Louis smirked.

 

"I thought I told you to call me Louis,” he chided gently. 

 

Harry swallowed. 

 

"Hi," Zayn stuck his hand out toward Louis.

 

Louis enclosed it with his own.

 

"Hi. I'm Louis," he introduced. "I work with Harry," he added.

 

"Zayn," the darker lad said in return. "His date," he tagged on in explanation of how he knew Harry.

 

Louis' brows rose and his eyes darted toward Harry. Harry blushed deeply and lowered his gaze.

 

"I see,” Louis said in a non-committal way that made Harry peek at him.

 

"We've been bowling," he said inanely, cursing the way his brain never connected to his mouth. 

 

Louis nodded, his gaze flicking between Harry and Zayn.

 

"Right, well enjoy your walk home; I expect I'll see you Monday..." Louis offered brightly. Maybe a little forced. 

 

"Monday,” Harry agreed with a nod.

 

Louis dipped his chin to Zayn by way of parting and carried on his journey, leaving Harry to sigh out with relief.

 

"You like him, then," Zayn said, his words surprising harry.

 

"No!" He denied a little too quickly. "No..." He added more softly afterwards. 

 

Zayn arched a disbelieving brow.

 

"It’s okay you know, you can tell me...I won't be annoyed or anything..."

 

Harry swallowed and chewed his lip, trying to deny the truth to himself.  He did NOT find Louis attractive.  No way, no how.   _Mr. Tomlinson_ , he reminded himself. _Louis_ was far too nice of a name to roll off his tongue.  He imagined other ways that name could leave his lips- tripping out, pulled or torn with anguished cries of ecstasy...

 

He sucked in a breath and cut off his thoughts.

 

"You don't think it’s weird, talking about other guys while we're on a date?" Harry mused of Zayn's suggestion.

 

Zayn smirked. 

 

"It’s funny but all night I had this idea you weren't into this," Zayn commented.

 

Harry's eyes widened.

 

"Have I made you feel unwelcome?” He wondered guiltily.

 

"No, quite the opposite,” Zayn assured.  "I just had a feeling," he shrugged. 

 

Harry sucked his lip and nodded. 

 

"I'm not like most guys," he began gently.  "As you can probably tell..."

 

Zayn shot him a blinding grin. 

 

"You say that like it's a bad thing..."

 

Harry hunched his shoulders up awkwardly, contorting his body to reflect his thoughts. 

 

"A guy like you shouldn't be interested in a guy like me..." Harry broached.

 

Zayn made a face. "And what kind of guy are you?" He asked. 

 

"Geeky," Harry offered.  "Inexperienced. " He added quietly. 

 

Zayn caught the meaning of his word instantly.

 

"Really? You've never. ..?"

 

Harry shook his head and flushed.

 

Zayn reached across and squeezed one of his strong shoulders. 

 

"That's not a bad thing, either," he assured. 

 

Harry gave him a small lopsided half-smirk.

 

"I guess I just find dating difficult,” he finished. 

 

Zayn nodded.

 

"Don't we all...”

 

"I’m sure you want to do this again,” Harry joked of his unorthodox way.

 

Zayn smiled. 

 

"Actually I would," he said and Harry snapped his gaze up. "But as friends since you have a love interest already..."

 

Harry rolled his eyes under his frames. 

 

"I'd hardly say that," he derided.

 

Zayn gave him a secret kind of smile.

 

"Well if _you're_ not interested in _him_ then you should probably know _he's_ interested in _you_ ," he said then. 

 

Harry choked on his own spit. _What??!!_ What on earth made Zayn think something as ridiculous as that?

 

"Sure,” he guffawed.  “An accomplished, sexy guy interested in a virgin geek, I can see it now," he remarked. 

 

Zayn pushed against his arm ever so gently, tipping him sideways where he tripped over his own feet to right himself.

 

He blushed and bit his lip as he recovered. 

 

"See?" He mused softly. 

 

Zayn wrapped his crooked arm around Harry’s neck and tugged him closer. 

 

"You need serious work on your self esteem, Harry Styles, " he observed.

 

Harry ducked his head for a minute, surprised still how comfortable he felt in Zayn's company. 

 

"Maybe you can help me?" He suggested.

 

Zayn let him go with a smile that made Harry wonder if he hadn't guided him into his suggestion. He looked satisfied like he had a mission that was now accomplished. 

 

"You're on," he agreed easily.

 

Harry shook his head, the pair of them heading home.

 

//

 

Monday morning was awkward.

 

Harry was inordinately aware of his chance meeting with Louis on Saturday night and he had no idea what his boss was going to make of it all.

 

The fact he too was gay, the fact Zayn had introduced himself as his date...and then there was Zayn’s monstrously ridiculous idea that Louis was interested. 

 

He went about making his tea, heading to his desk where Karen met up with him before they had to start work.

 

"So...Zayn seemed pleased about Saturday..." She led.

 

Harry smiled.

 

"Did he?" He asked, deliberately obtuse. 

 

Karen giggled, swiping him.

 

"So?" She asked expectantly. 

 

Harry swallowed, his gaze drifting to the door where Louis had just entered, a fact Karen failed to notice once again.

 

"Come on Harry, spill," she prompted. "Did you kiss? Are you seeing him again? "

 

Louis smiled as he approached Harry's desk. 

 

"All pertinent questions I'm sure, Ms. Black,” Louis greeted and Karen yelped out in startled surprise, falling off the edge of Harry’s desk. 

 

"Louis," she cleared her throat.  "Um, talk to you later, Haz," she excused and scurried toward her desk.

 

"Nice weekend?” Louis enquired to Harry once she’d left.

 

Harry nodded.  "You?" He asked in return.

 

Louis nodded in the same non descript way before heading to his office.

 

/

 

Harry couldn't help but get the impression that Louis hadn't had such a good weekend after all.

 

He was succinct in his speech and he avoided Harry’s gaze which Harry found strange because he didn't think he'd ever stared at anybody as much as he had stared at Louis today, silently willing his boss to look up, to look back at him so he could try and read him but Harry also knew that was the reason Louis was avoiding him. Because he didn't want Harry to know about whatever it was going on in his head.

 

A late batch of typing got delivered to his in tray and he found himself staying late, quietly accompanied by Louis who was tucked away in his office. 

 

At six, Louis stuck his head around the door. 

 

"I thought I said no late nights," Louis chided and Harry noted that the usual warmth in his smooth husky voice was replaced by a tired tone and something else, maybe annoyance? 

 

Harry began to wonder if he'd pissed him off somehow but as he re-ran the day through his head he couldn't recall doing anything that might have upset him. 

 

"I'm just finishing these notes up," Harry assured.

 

Louis took a step out of his office but leaned on the door jamb, hands in pockets. 

 

"You can do it tomorrow," Louis allowed.

 

Harry swallowed, biting his lip. He didn't want to leave Louis alone like this, it almost felt as though he was avoiding going home. 

 

"Fancy a beer?" Harry asked spontaneously, surprised by his own words. "Looks like it's been one of those days..."

 

Louis smirked. 

 

"You could say that," he agreed.  Then, "and a beer sounds perfect right now."

 

Harry jumped up, shunting his glasses up his nose.

 

"I know a great place," he said and led the way.

 

/

 

The place that Harry took Louis to was quaint and picturesque and although Harry was nervous in bringing him here, he knew it was ultimately where he felt the most at home. And Louis looked like he could use something comforting right now.

 

As Harry pushed open the door and made his way inside; the bar lady- who was stood, bored, waiting for custom- gasped happily and came running toward him, lifting the bar-flap to dash across the room.

 

“Harry!” She hugged him largely, her arms tight around his neck.

 

Harry blushed and slipped his around her waist.

 

“Nicole,” he husked lowly, shyly.

 

“Where have you been?” She accused and he hung his head sheepishly.

 

It had been a while since he’d last come, not really in the mood for social events of late. Still, he was glad he was here now.

 

“Working,” he lifted a shoulder apologetically, a flimsy excuse but one she bought as she returned to the right side of the bar.

 

Nicole flicked her gaze over his companion.

 

“Finally found yourself a nice man, I see,” she commented, making Harry choke on his own spit.

 

“Erm…this is my boss,” he quickly corrected her assumption and she smirked.

 

“Nice going, Hazza,” she commended and he found himself flushing again, Right from the tips of his toes up to his cheeks.

 

“No, I mean-” he began.

 

“It’s okay, your secret is safe with me,” she winked, cutting him off.

 

Harry flicked his gaze sideways toward Louis.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

 

Louis pursed his lips, apparently amused at the exchange.

 

“No worries,” he assured of Nicole’s incorrect belief they were dating.

 

He didn’t know why, but suddenly Harry had an attack of nerves. Maybe it was the realization he had asked Louis to come here- the reality of which was only just catching up with him- or maybe it was Nicole’s idea that Louis was his boyfriend but something about the whole thing made him want to babble through the awkward moments while they waited for their drinks to be prepared.

 

“I expect you have a fiancé at home waiting for you and here you are suffering my friend placing us together when we both know that’s the insanest thought ever to pass by anyone’s mind and of course we both live in a little place called _reality_ not some fantasy crazy-land where suddenly I become amazingly attractive and actually have a chance with a guy like you because let’s face it the way I look, that’s never going to happen and-”

 

Harry was paused by the light pressure of Louis’ hand on his arm. Harry sucked in a breath and darted him a look.

 

“So, how was your day?” Harry asked, desperately trying to pretend he’d never spoken let alone let all those ridiculously truthful, personal things come out of his mouth.

 

“Tough,” Louis admitted softly as they collected their drinks and looked around for a table, choosing one toward the back near the fireplace that was empty due to it being warmer months.

 

“Why?” Harry asked, grateful that Louis hadn’t commented on his verbal diarrheoa or the content of that particularly embarrassing speech, the memory of which made him blush again.

 

Louis tilted his head.

 

“Why are you blushing?” He asked softly, intrigued, a small smile on his lips.

 

His question made Harry go a deeper shade of crimson.

 

“No reason,” Harry cleared his throat gently, avoiding eye-contact as he looked around the room, wiping his sweaty palms on his thighs and biting his lip as he came to rest without fidgeting, waiting for Louis to speak again.

 

Louis watched him for a moment and Harry felt his eyes on him, calculating; judging. He wondered what Louis truly made of him.

 

“How was bowling?” Louis asked then, changing topic and surprising Harry with his question,. He was surprised his boss even remembered their brief encounter at all, to be honest. Jenna wouldn’t have.

 

“I lost,” Harry nodded. “I’m really bad at it…” he added self-depreciatingly.

 

“I don’t have a fiancé at home, by the way,” Louis added, surprising Harry again with both his randomness and his candidness.

 

“Oh,” he frowned thoughtfully. “Okay.”

 

“That surprises you,” Louis observed and Harry realized the conversation had turned to him, when he’d actually brought Louis here to wind down and talk about work stresses.

 

“I thought you’d be taken,” Harry offered gently. “You seem like you would be…”

 

“So do you,” Louis offered, leaning back in his chair, seemingly comfortable on this topic.

 

Harry fidgeted, the opposite to comfortable. He found it hilarious that Louis thought he’d be the one who was taken.

 

“But you are, right?” Louis checked lightly and Harry wondered if he had missed something.

 

“I am?” He questioned.

 

“Zayn?” Louis reminded. “Your date on Saturday…”

 

Harry smirked. “Blind date,” he explained.

 

Louis took a sip of his large white wine and lifted his brows.

 

“Oh really? First date, then?” He enquired.

 

Harry couldn’t help the grin that pealed across his lips. This was so surreal, sitting in a pub with his handsome boss discussing his love-life. If he thought he was dreaming, he’d pinch himself. He looked up at Louis, as if remembering he was waiting for an answer.

 

His boss had a funny look on his face; an intensity in his eyes and Harry realized slowly that his blue-grey gaze was fixed at his mouth. He was watching him smile, he mused silently. He shook his head slightly at his own mad imaginings and licked his lips, his smile tempering and his deep dimples fading.

 

“First date,” Harry nodded in agreement to his meeting with Zayn.

 

Louis lifted up his glass for a toast.

 

“To more dates,” he suggested.

 

Harry frowned confusedly. Really?

 

“To friends,” Harry replied, clinking glasses.

 

Louis smiled wryly.

 

“I take it you didn’t hit it off well, then?” He wondered from Harry's statement.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“I thought we came here to talk about your shitty day…” he broached gently.

 

Louis nodded, pressing his lips together in silent mirth.

 

“So we did,” he agreed.

 

Harry shunted his glasses up.

 

“Well?” he asked, feeling bold.

 

Louis met his gaze. “It’s just that talking about you took my mind off it,” he said and Harry began to feel nervous for different reasons.

 

This sounded bad. Really bad.

 

“What’s happening?” He asked intuitively.

 

“We’re down-sizing,” Louis admitted softly. “Only a few job losses but the company want things leaner and more efficient…I’m the kind of guy that gets to know my staff and having to give them notice is the worst feeling in the world…”

 

Harry gasped, surprised by his admission. After having received a promotion and a pay rise, he felt instantly guilty.

 

“I can take a pay-cut,” he offered instantly.

 

Louis regarded him shrewdly. “It’s kind of you to offer, but it won’t make any difference. They’ve ear-marked those that they want to go and I get to deliver the news tomorrow…”

 

“They want to keep me?” Harry asked, feeling selfish for only thinking of himself. He cleared his throat. “I’m sorry, it must be awful having to tell them,” he added of his peers.

 

Louis smiled at him, for one short moment his handsome face becoming stunning.

 

“Of course they want to keep you,” he mused of Harry’s shock at hearing he wasn’t in the firing line. “ _I_ want to keep you,” he added pointedly.

 

Harry swallowed. He wondered who Louis didn’t want to keep.

 

“Will Karen’s job be safe?” He wondered worriedly.

 

Louis winked.

 

“Karen is a very valuable member of staff.” He said only.

 

Harry let out a breath of relief.

 

“I’m not allowed to name names,” he added as Harry peeked at him, chewing his lip.

 

“No, of course…” Harry nodded.

 

“So,” Louis sighed to lift the somber moment. “Are you nearly ready for our trip?”

 

Harry had almost forgotten about their jaunt to California. It was only another week until they went.

 

“I’m half excited and half-scared,” he admitted, his hand shaking even as he thought about it. He put his glass down, flushing yet again as he became embarrassed at his nervous reaction to everything.

 

Louis blinked, watching him.

 

“Are you okay?” He checked.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“You’re going to do brilliantly,” Louis bolstered. “I have to say you’ve got a certain charm that I’ve not entirely seen before…”

 

Harry regarded his slightly-older boss with a long, patient look. One that told him exactly how silly he found his statement.

 

“Charm? Do you mean dorkiness?” He mused, running a hand over his slicked hair, checking his curls hadn’t broken free of their hold.

 

Louis bit his lip, in that same way he had the day Harry told him he didn’t fit the company image and Harry had felt like he was trying to stop himself saying something. He felt the same of his lip-biting now.

 

Harry frowned. Yes, he could dress differently, and do something with his hair, maybe even get contact-lenses but he figured what was the point? He was always going to be a nervous wreck and he liked looking this way. He liked being a dork. He just wished somebody else liked it too. Somebody who liked it enough to fuck him and let him fuck them back.

 

“Well, anyway, I’ll do my best not to make it a complete disaster,” he said in the quiet, awkward moment.

 

“I don’t know what Jenna used to tell you, Harry, but you can pretty much throw anything she said out of the window,” Louis stated.

 

Harry made a bashful face.

 

“She didn’t- I mean…” He trailed off, not sure how to defend a woman he hated so much.

 

Louis blinked, his eyes going hard. Harry wondered why that was, and if Louis knew more about his old boss than he let on. He had said he’d heard she was strict with them, maybe he did know what Harry had been through, after all…

 

“You have my full support in everything,” Louis said then. “If you want another position then just say the word. I’m keen for you to be recognized.”

 

“Despite my inability to do anything without having a nervous break-down,” Harry muttered under his breath, taking another mouthful of beer.

 

“I mean it, Harry,” Louis bypassed his mutterings. “Whatever you want, tell me and I’ll make it happen…”

 

Harry was awed by a blank wish-sheet, totally bemused as to what to wish for.

 

“I’ll think about it,” he assured quietly. “But I’m happy being your PA,” He added quickly.

 

“Good,” Louis smiled. “Best damn PA I ever had,” he added with a twinkle in his eyes.

 

Harry checked his watch. It was gone eight.

 

“I should be getting home,” he suggested of their drink.

 

Louis nodded, draining his wine and standing to lead the way out.

 

//

 

Harry was already in when Louis rocked up to work at 9am. They had another meeting today and Harry was busy on the copier; printing out meeting packs as per the usual form of events.

 

Louis found it curious that Harry had apparently started this work before his official 9am start-time, but he knew the younger and eager-to-please lad was used to staying late and he momentarily wondered if he’d started early knowing Louis wouldn’t know about it; whereas if he stayed late, Louis would of course see him.

 

“Morning,” Louis greeted softly, watching as Harry startled; jumping slightly before he turned with that engaging blush tinting his cheeks.

 

“Morning,” Harry returned lowly, huskily.

 

Louis noted his voice was always scratchier in the mornings, his blinks always lazier and his eyes not quite as bright as he slowly woke up.

 

“Busy, I see,” Louis observed.

 

Harry smirked.

 

“Meeting starts early so thought I’d get to it,” he explained softly, dipping his head a little.

 

“Good thinking. You can leave half hour early if you like,” Louis suggested.

 

Harry swallowed and shrugged shyly. “S’okay…”

 

“Thanks for the drink last night,” Louis said then.

 

Harry brought his gaze up, slowly. He wasn’t sure when he’d found himself able to look Louis in the face this way, but it was quickly becoming habit to do so. He looked to the floor, as if realizing.

 

“Any time,” Harry extended.

 

Louis waited for him to look back up.

 

“I might take you up on that,” he warned warmly.

 

Harry found himself smiling back; a giddy dimpled grin pealing across his face.

 

“Deal,” he said simply in return.

 

“In fact, there are a few things I want to discuss about our presentation,” he commented as he sat down to log into his PC.

 

“My brochure proto-type is being printed by post room,” Harry shared. “I’ll bring it to you once it’s done…”

 

“Good, I want to show you my Visio presentation, too so book out a couple of hours this afternoon so we can run through everything,” Louis instructed. “Please,” he added softly as an afterthought.

 

Harry paused at the copier, his eyes flicking over Louis’ form. His boss was petite, but broad and nicely shaped. His hair was still too-long and he was growing a goatee. He was casually dressed and had softness about him which Harry couldn’t place because Louis was strong-looking and had a toughness that juxtaposed his long lashes and gentle way.

 

He wondered whether he was too soft himself. Whether a guy like Louis would ever be compatible with him or whether they were both too similar. Harry always imagined opposites attract and saw himself as the feminine in a partnership; always having been with ‘manly’ men before. In fact, his history didn’t read well. He’d always ended up with straight guys who wanted to indulge in a princess fantasy and although he’d never allow himself the acknowledgement he was a princess, he’d taken love in the only form he believed he could get it. With men who didn’t want to be seen with him, men who didn’t want to have sex or be his guy. And so he had this stupid notion that only hard-men would want him, that he would be the girl to their man and he’d be there to serve their fantasies and desires only.

 

He had no idea of anything else, really and that made him sad.

 

He came-to as he realized he’d been staring at Louis for way too long while his prints finished and he quickly scooped up the booklets, now copied and stapled, and went back to his desk.

 

//

 

The nine people who were being affected by the cut-backs were in the morning meeting. Harry hadn’t even considered that the booklets he was printing out earlier might have something to do with the re-structure and he found himself trying to remember to breathe as they each got told their roles were being removed from the company and they were officially on redundancy notice.

 

The reason Harry was finding it hard to breathe was because Simon was one of the nine.

 

He silently felt something like fear trickle down his neck, making him shiver, wondering if Louis had deliberately picked his nemesis for the chop after the incident in the kitchen, but he had absolutely nothing to base that feeling on so he dismissed it, finding it awkward to merely be here while these people were told the news.

 

“He got a promotion,” Simon pointed at Harry when Louis finished delivering the bad news. “And my role gets cut. Why couldn’t we apply for the PA role?”

 

Louis answered his question, but Harry knew that no reply was going to appease the cocky Accounts guy. He rose from his seat.

 

“I think I’ll leave you to it,” Harry murmured to Louis gently, sensing his presence wasn’t wanted by the others in the room.

 

Louis watched him go but didn’t stop him, instead catching up with him after lunch when Harry had his brochure ready and Louis was readying to present his work.

 

Harry came into his office and closed the door just as Louis flipped the blinds and turned off the lights so the projector would work. The light shone on the wall and Harry sat in the spare seat, beside Louis as they watched, cinema-style, his presentation unfolding.

 

“Sorry about earlier,” Louis said softly as Harry watched the wall, able to focus on both.

 

“It’s not your fault,” Harry offered.

 

“I didn’t think anyone would be angry at _you_ ,” he admitted.

 

Harry shrugged awkwardly. Little did Louis know, he mused.

 

“What is Simon’s problem?” He asked then.

 

Harry choked.

 

“I-I’m not sure,” Harry stuttered.

 

Louis chewed his lip while Harry engaged in the Visio presentation.

 

“What do you think so far?” Louis asked.

 

Harry began to speak, his words soft and real, his face serious. Louis lifted his brows, surprised that it took his permission for the younger lad to speak freely about his thoughts. Harry continued to hurl out ideas as the presentation ran on and Louis picked up his prompt to finish off; effectively showing Harry exactly what their client would be seeing.

 

Harry gazed at him in a way that Louis found minorly distracting- well if he were honest with himself, it was _majorly_ distracting, but he was trying to remain professional here. It didn’t help that his princess of a PA looked at him with wide innocent green eyes and perfectly plump pink lips pursed as if ready for the taking.

 

Louis cleared his throat and shook his head; trying to rid the images of those lips that saturated his mind. His filthy, dirty mind he reprimanded himself as those images bordered on pornography.

 

“So, apart from the notes you’ve already made, is it ok?” Louis asked honestly.

 

Harry nodded. “It’s perfect,” he assured.

 

“What’s it like compared to what you’ve seen before?” He asked, in a moment of rare insecurity.

 

Harry bit into his lip.

 

“It’s amazing. Really,” he added.

 

Louis sighed out in relief and nodded.

 

“Good,” he said. “Can I see the brochure now?”

 

Harry clutched the shiny book a little tighter into his lap. He didn’t want Louis to see it, now. He wanted to go and throw everything away he’d done so he could start all over again and maybe he’d need a lobotomy to actually come up with something better because there was no way his pathetic, useless mind could dream up something better than what Louis had just presented.

 

“Um…I might make a few changes,” Harry swallowed heavily, avoiding Louis’ gaze.

 

“Harry, give me the book,” he instructed gently, sensing his fear.

 

Harry blinked. “It’s really not ready,” he excused quickly, chewing his lip until it became swollen and sore.

 

Louis moved from where he stood by the wall toward where Harry sat in his seat. He stood before him.

 

“Let me see,” he begged, holding out his hand.

 

Harry’s fingers momentarily tightened around the edges; his breathing becoming tight. He felt Louis prize the booklet from his fingertips with gentle persuasion and he let out a sulky sigh as he felt it slip away; turning his face so that he stared insolently at the wall.

 

Louis quietly flipped through the brochure, each moment ticking by with louder silence, Harry’s breaths now shallow and quick, betraying his fear.

 

He leaned forward, clasping his hands together and pressing his thumbs into his forehead, never more scared of anything and he knew exactly why. Whenever he presented Jenna with his masterpieces, she always found a flaw, always found room for improvement and sent him back to the drawing board to start over. And he knew the same was going to happen now.

 

His shiny, garish, preppy little advertising book wasn’t going to be anywhere near the standard Louis needed for his presentation and Harry was taken back to the day Louis took him into his office and he’d sat there and panicked that he was being let go.

 

Louis still hadn’t said anything, was leisurely perusing the leaflet while Harry sat sweating. He felt the urge to say something, anything, to try and make this moment les awkward, less terrifying than it actually was.

 

“It’s just a working example,” Harry blurted, his voice husky from the tears he was trying to hold back. “I can make changes and I plan to, of course, having seen your presentation now and knowing exactly where we’re going on this,” he babbled, dragging in a breath as he realized Louis wasn’t really listening, still engaged in his work.

 

“I mean, it’s not too late to sack me, you can just add me to the list to go and find someone else who can do a better job of the brochure, I really wouldn’t be offended or anything if you-”

 

“Harry,” Louis said, halting his incessant nervous gabbling.

 

Harry gulped, his cheeks filling with blood.

 

“Yes, Mr. Tomlinson?” He answered shakily.

 

Louis sighed. “I thought you were finally calling me Louis now?”

 

Harry lifted a shoulder.

 

“That was before you wanted to sack me,” he offered, his thoughts wayward and unjustified.

 

Louis blinked. “I don’t want to sack you.”

 

Harry gasped, looking up. “Really?”

 

“Really.” Louis mused.

 

“Oh thank god, because without this job, I really don’t know what I’d do, Mr. Tomlinson…erm..Louis…sir,” he added awkwardly.

 

“You’d get another one,” Louis suggested bemusedly and Harry shook his head.

 

“Jenna told me what it’s like out there, how hard it would be for a guy like me to find another job…I’m really grateful for this opportunity,” he ingratiated.

 

Louis closed the book; his gaze intense and direct. Harry found himself blinking into it twice, finally looking away.

 

“You could get any job you wanted,” Louis bolstered. “And I thought I told you to disregard anything that Jenna said to you?”

 

Harry bit his lip, feeling like a naughty school child.

 

“I-” He choked, not sure what to say. “I don’t know how,” he admitted softly.

 

Louis came and sat beside him, slipping the brochure back into his lap.

 

“This brochure is amazing, Harry. I’m astounded at what you’ve done here, really, considering the brief. There are a couple of things to tweak but I don’t want you to change anything about it otherwise, okay?” Louis said firmly.

 

Harry gazed at him.

 

“Okay,” he sucked his lower lip into his mouth in a gesture to comfort himself.

 

“And Jenna was so wrong about you,” he added. “Hearing you say that you can never be something more?” he sighed. “You can be so much more and I want to be the guy that helps you be that more,” he insisted.

 

Harry darted him a look. _Wait, what?_

 

“On a purely professional basis,” he added quickly, licking his lips.

 

Harry felt the hope in him die. _Oh._ _Okay_.

 

“Because otherwise I get into a lot of trouble with HR,” he explained as an afterthought.

 

Harry nodded, slowly.

 

“How can you help me?” He wondered then, curious at Louis’ declaration.

 

“However you need me to,” Louis offered lightly.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“Clearly you need to be told constantly how great you are at your job since Jenna seems to have done quite the opposite on you there…” he sighed.

 

Harry brushed his lips together, sensing Louis moving about the room as their meeting came to a natural end.

 

“Thank you, Louis,” he said clearly into the room, his resonance surprising even himself. He’d normally mutter such things, try and hide.

 

Louis glanced at him as Harry rose, a few inches taller than his boss. He was surprised, too, his handsome face showed it.

 

“You’re welcome,” he replied, albeit rather perfunctory.

 

Harry paused by the door, somehow wanting to say more, but not knowing the words. He turned and headed back to his desk, brochure clutched in his sweaty hand.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR KUDOS!!!  
> Sorry for the late update.  
> p.s I am on twitter- angkeats :)
> 
> Ang

** chapter 3 **

 

When Louis came in on Friday, he’d told Harry right off that they were going for lunch today.

 

Harry wasn’t sure what the special occasion was- if any- and found his nerves tightening as the day went on, getting more and more tense at the thought of being out in public. Being in public, eating and trying to save grace in front of his boss.

 

He kept taking deep breaths to try and curb the intensity of his anxiety but he found that just whooshed the adrenaline around his veins even faster, sending him into a dizzy state of panic.

 

He wasn’t sure that Louis would want to be seen with him mid-panic-attack and he fought his very nature to try and calm himself down but it was when he went to get up and escape the tight confines of the office that it all came to a head.

 

His legs went to jelly, the blood rushed from his head and he keeled over; stumbling over his own unorganized feet as he crash-landed on the carpet beside his desk.

 

Karen was the first to his rescue, cupping his face as she gently rolled him over onto his back and put his head onto her thighs where she knelt.

 

“Harry? Harry, are you okay? Wake up, hun, come on…” Karen cooed.

 

She directed someone to get her cold water and as several plastic cups came her way, she picked one and splashed it onto Harry’s face.

 

“What’s going on?” Louis frowned as he came to his office door, finding commotion in the office.

 

Karen darted her eyes up to him.

 

“He just passed out…” She frowned worriedly, feeling his pulse. “His pulse is erratic and weak…we should get him to hospital, in case,” she suggested.

 

Louis quickly cleared the other workers out of the gangway, asking everyone to return to their desks and telling them they’d be updated accordingly. That left him and Karen to deal with Harry.

 

Louis put the back of his hand to Harry’s forehead, then two fingertips to his neck, also testing his pulse. He could see the shallow, pathetic drag of air into Harry’s lungs, the quick expel, signaling asphyxia.

 

“We’ll take him in my car,” Louis stated, crouching down to gather Harry’s unconscious body into his arms.

 

“Can you manage?” Karen wondered of Louis’ smaller frame, his slight appearance.

 

As Louis lifted Harry into his arms and gently jogged him into place, she stood corrected.

 

“You can manage,” she murmured, releasing the security lock on the door to allow them into the hallway and she followed him down to the basement where the car-park for the building was situated.

 

Louis asked her to get his keys from his chino-pocket, letting her unlock the car and open the passenger door for him to gently slide Harry in. He carefully strapped him in and directed Karen into the back seat, but Karen paused.

 

“I should probably stay here and take over Harry’s desk?” she suggested quickly.

 

Louis frowned. “He might like to see your face when he wakes up, though?”

 

“But with you both gone I’ll be needed to cover any urgent issues,” she explained, knowing this was a role she often filled when Harry and Jenna were away at the same time.

 

Louis sighed. She was right, but that was her friend in his passenger seat needing medical attention.

 

“You can take my car?” He offered finally and she shook her head.

 

“I’m not insured.”

 

Louis pressed his lips together. “I’ll call you as soon as I hear anything,” he promised finally.

 

She nodded. “Okay…and Louis,” she called softly. “Thank you for taking him, he wouldn’t have wanted an ambulance or anything…”

 

Louis smirked. No, he could tell that Harry was definitely the kind of person that would do anything not to be causing anyone any trouble. He climbed into the drivers seat and turned the ignition; glancing over at Harry.

 

His head was lolled cutely against his shoulder, his face pale and inanimate but so perfect, Louis sat and wondered at it for a moment. And then he remembered he was meant to be saving Harry’s life- or at least his breathing- and he pulled away with urgent speed.

 

 

//

Pacing up and down the A&E corridor wasn’t an easy feat considering how many people were sitting there, waiting for news, the very same way Louis was.

 

He sighed with relief then, when a nurse called his name and took him through to a small treatment room Harry had been placed in.

 

As he ventured through the half-open cubicles and tried not to notice the blood-stains and bruises of the fellow patients, he recalled the way Harry had woken up slightly as he’d carried him into this place.

 

The way his plush lips had parted, the way his husky voice had groaned out in protest and the way his sleepy eyes had fluttered; fighting to open.

 

He’d told him to relax and Harry’s head had rolled toward his chest; his body curling ever-so-slightly toward him as he murmured things, mostly panicked mutterings about his health, but still, he hoped the sound of his voice-any voice- comforted Harry somewhat.

 

As he crept into the treatment room, he found Harry awake, blinking lazily, his mouth covered with an oxygen mask and his usually slick hair a little unkempt.

 

“Where are his glasses?” Louis asked the nurse right off, noticing the frames missing from his face.

 

The nurse pressed them into his hand and Louis thanked her, edging towards the bed.

 

“Uh…I don’t expect you really want to see me, but here,” he handed them to Harry who slipped them on, now able to focus.

 

He smiled and Louis found the sight breath-taking. Such a brave, innocent smile, like a little boy who fell off his bike and was trying not to cry.

 

“This is embarrassing,” Harry husked, his breath clouding the clear plastic mask for moments until it cleared again. He went to take it off, but the nurse came over and stopped him.

 

“Uh-uh,” she shook her head. “You fainted from a lack of oxygen so you still need this…”

 

Louis lifted his brows at the pretty brunette.

 

“She’s right,” he told Harry.

 

Harry rolled his eyes.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

“Obviously not,” Louis mused.

 

“You shouldn’t be here…get back to work,” Harry ordered.

 

Louis chuckled. “I carried your sorry ass here, okay? I think I deserve to know the outcome…”

 

Harry frowned. “You…what?” He sucked in a breath, making his heart-beat spike on the monitor.

 

The nurse gave Louis a reproachful look.

 

“No excitement,” she repeated, something she had told him on the way here.

 

Louis swallowed, chagrined.

 

“So, I rearranged our lunch,” Louis tried a different tack and when the monitor bleeped in quick succession again, he found himself rolling his eyes. _Now what had he said?!_

 

Harry’s eyes were a little wide, fearful as he looked to Louis.

 

“I can’t go,” he said softly, defeated.

 

Louis frowned bemusedly.

 

“Why not?”

 

“Why not?” Harry repeated incredulously. “Have you seen me?”

 

Louis’ brows knitted together. “The thought of going to lunch with me put you here?” he wondered.

 

Harry blinked. “Not exactly.”

 

“Then what, exactly?” Louis probed.

 

Harry chewed on his pink and sore-looking lip. Louis tried not to notice.

 

“I can’t tell you, it’s stupid,” he mumbled, playing with his fingers.

 

Harry seemed to suddenly realise his hair might not be in the best state and quickly dragged them through his quiff, deciding to give up on it for now.

 

Louis noticed the way the tips of his lacquered ‘do were threatening to curl; the way the normally flat strands were beginning to mound healthily with less product keeping them restrained. He momentarily wondered how Harry's hair looked natural, without his application of product to keep it in place.

 

“You can tell me and nothing is stupid,” he countered Harry’s statement with his own.

 

Harry sighed, wanting to lift off his face-mask, knowing he couldn’t.

 

“I get so nervous,” he said then, quickly, like he was pulling off a plaster fast to somehow reduce the pain. “It’s stupid, really it is, but I get so nervous I can’t breathe…and then I pass out,” he concluded.

 

Louis tilted his head, hand in pockets as he stood by Harry’s bedside.

 

“What do you get nervous about?” He wondered.

 

Harry paused. He’d never been asked this before. Never really told anyone, to be honest. He didn’t know what to say.

 

“Everything,” he sighed out. “I just cant cope in public and I didn’t want to be an embarrassment to you and then I knew that I would be because I was nervous so I was bound to do something stupid like trip over or use the wrong cutlery or say something ridiculous and-”

 

“Harry,” Louis cut him off. “Breathe,” he said. “Please,” he added softly.

 

Harry bit his lip and blushed. He followed orders.

 

“I want to take you out for lunch,” Louis said then, a fact Harry already knew. “It’s a work lunch and the restaurant I go to is very discreet and enclosed, there’s no reason for you to feel like you’ll be watched or in danger of making a fool of yourself…”

 

Enclosed? Discreet? It sounded very intimate, Harry noted with a frown. A frown that covered the butterflies in his belly, the ones he told to calm the fuck down since this lunch obviously meant nothing to Louis. Just a simple colleague working lunch, to say thank you or something, he didn’t really know, but it definitely wasn’t anything to get excited about…definitely not.

 

“I’ll think about it,” Harry offered.

 

Louis bit his lip in that way that Harry was coming to recognize as him trying not to say what he was really thinking. He wanted Louis to say it, to not bite it out of his lip that way.

 

“Where were you going to take me?” Harry asked then, trying to make polite-if stilted- conversation.

 

Louis smirked. “A lovely little French bistro. I’m certain you’d like the food there…”

 

Harry nodded, his brows lifting.

 

“Sounds nice…”

 

“Do you like French?” Louis asked.

 

Harry didn’t have time to consider the irony of being asked that question while lying in a hospital bed, struggling to breathe.

 

“Yes,” Harry nodded, not entirely sure whether he did or not as he’d never been to a French restaurant before.

 

“Good,” Louis looked pleased and Harry didn’t have the heart to tell the truth about his inexperience. If it wasn’t bad enough he was a virgin, he also hadn’t tried many other things in life- like foods and wines and beers from around the world.

 

“Louis, go back to work,” Harry begged. “I’m fine, really…”

 

Louis hovered, then sat down beside the bed.

 

“I think I’ll wait until we can see the doctor,” he mused.

 

Harry sighed, his sleepy eyes dragging shut as his spate of talking wore him out.

 

The nurse smiled at Louis.

 

“I told him not to over-do it,” she murmured.

 

Louis nodded. “He’s kinda stubborn.”

 

She agreed and left the room as the steady blips of Harry’s heart-beat filled the room.

 

//

 

It was so bright outside. Harry felt like he’d been in hospital a week instead of the twenty-four hours they’d actually admitted him for.

 

Karen was waiting for him as he headed out, feeling grimy in yesterday’s work clothes.

 

“Hey, trooper!” She got out of her car to hug him-hard.

 

“Whoa, hey- guy who can’t breathe here,” he teased as she pulled away.

 

“How do you feel?” She asked.

 

“Fine,” he assured with an eye-roll, self consciously running a hand through his messy hair. “Can you take me home to shower and change and I’ll get a lift to work with you?”

 

Karen frowned. “You’re not coming to work,” she said in a way that told him no to argue. He did, anyway.

 

“Why not, I’m fine,” he assured.

 

“You just came out of hospital, Harry. Louis doesn’t expect you back,” she added.

 

Harry swallowed. _Louis_. Louis who had carried him, stayed with him until he’d fallen asleep and then disappeared sometime around midnight if what his nurse said was true. That was when the doctor had finally made his rounds and Louis had deemed it safe to leave him overnight.

 

 

Apparently, because Harry didn’t actually believe that his boss would have done any of that.

 

“We have the California trip on Monday,” he urged. “I need to finish my brochure and get us ready for the trip…”

 

Karen flicked him a look.

 

“You sound like his wife.”

 

Harry grinned, liking the humour in that. “I’d make a good little wifey…”

 

“You would!” she agreed enthusiastically, loving seeing his smile. “You cook and clean and…well I’m sure you’re amazing in bed,” she winked.

 

Harry choked on his laughter.

 

“Kaz, there’s something I've never told you,” he broached softly, not sure why he wanted his best friend to be aware of the truth.

 

“Oh?” She enquired.

 

“I’ve never slept with anyone…” he ventured shyly, with a blush.

 

Karen gasped.

 

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry, there’s me _assuming_ and of course, you haven’t…it’s okay,” she added quickly, seeing pain etched on his face. “Harry, it’s okay,” she said again.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“That’s what Zayn said.”

 

“Zayn knows?” she jumped on this piece of information.

 

Harry shrugged. “We talked about it.”

 

“When are you seeing him again?” she wondered idly.

 

“Not until after the California trip,” Harry explained.

 

Karen nodded.

 

“You think you might _like_ him, like him?” she asked, emphasizing the word ‘like’ to intimate something more.

 

Harry blushed.

 

“He’s really not my type,” he said softly.

 

“No? Gorgeous, brooding, sexy…”

 

Harry chuckled.

 

“Okay, then I’m not his type…” he tried again.

 

“Adorable, funny, amazing…” she said then.

 

He grinned crookedly at her.

 

“Shut up…”

 

“His words, not mine,” she muttered lightly as she pulled into the parking lot at Harry’s flat.

 

“What?” he said, bemused.

 

“Oh, nothing,” she sang sweetly. “Go get changed and what have you,” she instructed.

 

Harry glanced across at her.

 

“You’re going to pull away the second I get out aren’t you?” He checked.

 

She smirked. “Would it stop you getting to work?” she wondered.

 

“Nope,” he pursed his lips.

 

Karen sighed. “Then I’ll wait for you. Under duress,” she added. “Because I don’t want you walking or trying to get a bus or something else equally stupid…”

 

Harry grinned and hurried into his flat, quickly stripping his old clothes, throwing himself under the shower, drying and changing within record time. He nearly forgot about his hair until the last minute when he blasted it and squeezed hair gunk into his hand to drag through the wild curls until his hair was sufficiently tame.

 

“That’ll have to do,” he decided, heading back out.

 

//

 

It was nearly lunchtime by the time Harry actually made it to his desk.

 

He’d been inundated with well-wishers on coming through the door and luckily for him, Louis was in a meeting so he managed to get away without being seen for a good three quarters of an hour.

 

It was when Louis came out of his meeting and headed straight into his office that Harry sat and very quietly reminded himself to breathe.

 

Five seconds later, he sensed Louis pace back out of his office.

 

“Harry?” He asked, to be sure.

 

Harry turned with a sweet smile.

 

“Louis,” he greeted, with his preferred name. He noticed Louis blink, as if masking the something that crossed his eyes. The something Harry couldn’t read.

 

“You should be at home,” Louis said then.

 

“We have the trip next week, I wanted to be sure we have everything covered,” he explained.

 

Louis paused, moving over to his desk after a moment of indecision. His hands were in his pockets.

 

“How do you feel?” He squinted in concern.

 

Harry bit his lip and looked up.

 

“Fine, good,” he replied firmly.

 

Louis flicked a look over him, but Harry ignored it, chalking it up to company practice. He’d already crashed out once on this carpet, he was sure Louis didn’t want it to happen again.

 

“Okay, well you can tidy up the brochure from the notes we made but nothing else, okay?” He stipulated.

 

Harry nodded, the fringe of a smile on his lips.

 

“Something amusing?” Louis enquired, his brows lifting as his eyes sparkled.

 

Harry let his grin escape, deepening the creases in his cheeks.

 

“How everyone treats me like a child,” Harry admitted amusedly. “It’s funny, really…”

 

Louis nodded, regarding him with hooded eyes.

 

“You don’t realise that people worry about you,” he observed astutely.

 

Harry’s smile died on his lips. Worry? Who worried? Karen? _Louis_?

 

“I…erm…” He faltered.

 

Louis shook himself, seemingly caught in a thought he shouldn’t have shared.

 

“Well, make sure you have your breaks and don’t over do it,” he said before he went back into his office.

 

Harry sat and wondered what the hell just happened.

 

//

 

It was the next day that Louis took Harry for their belated ‘working’ lunch.

 

He hadn’t told him in the morning, he’d just appeared at his desk at midday and told him to pack up for lunch which Harry both appreciated and silently aggravated at simultaneously.

 

He knew deep down that he’d never have gone to lunch given warning and time to worry, so Louis’ idea was genius in that respect. But anxiety was a funny old thing and sometimes he could be grouchy, insolent even, when faced with a reality he did everything to avoid normally.

 

“I’ve decided against the bistro, I hope you don’t mind,” Louis narrated as they walked side by side, Harry dodging oncoming pedestrians as Louis strode confidently through the crowded streets.

 

Harry shook his head, tangled with a passer-by momentarily.

 

“I don’t mind,” he murmured.

 

Louis turned and observed him in his awkwardness, instinctively putting out an arm to usher Harry ahead of him, only it became Louis protecting him as Harry drifted closer to his body; Louis’ palm ghosting the small of his back as he treated him like a lady; allowing him to go first, guarding him somewhat.

 

Harry found it almost ironic that a guy smaller than him was acting like his body-guard but he didn’t entirely dislike the feeling either. He knew Louis had steel he could only dream to possess, he knew Louis was strong; his muscled form was evidence of that. But most of all, despite his 5’ 9” frame and slightness, he felt cared-for in this almost-embrace.

 

Harry almost giggled at his imaginings, deciding he probably needed more oxygen after-all, and perhaps a trip to the loony-bin might help while he was at it because there was absolutely definitely no way in hell that Louis Tomlinson cared for him, in any way shape or form.

 

He was just being a good boss, a gentleman, even, and it smacked Harry in the solar plexus when he realized what that meant. Louis saw Harry as a girl. A full-on, freaking pink princess.

 

Harry sighed. He was never going to top and he resigned himself to that fact reluctantly.

 

“It’s here,” Louis murmured in his ear, seemingly aware Harry was living in his own alternate universe where normal talking wasn’t effective.

 

Harry turned sharply to his left; stumbling into Louis who was taking a more fluid curve toward his chosen eaterie.

 

“Oops…sorry,” Harry blushed as he stepped back from Louis.

 

Louis smirked. “Hi, nice to meet you, I’m Louis,” he joked of their closeness, maybe just going beyond the boss-staff line.

 

Harry cleared his throat, lifting up his hand to signal Louis should go first so he could follow.

 

Louis strode forth, leading Harry into a very small, extremely intimate little tapas bar.

 

“Hola, signor,” a waiter- name-tagged ‘Horatio’ greeted them.

 

“Hola,” Harry smiled weakly as Louis broke out into fluent Spanish.

 

Horatio smiled at Harry as though he had a secret and Harry smiled bemusedly. He trailed into the restaurant as they were led to their table.

 

“You’ve been before, then,” Harry mused as they were handed drinks menus. “Nice little place for a date or something…”

 

“Or something,” Louis agreed of their lunch. Which _absolutely_ was not a date.

 

_Just keep telling yourself that, Tomlinson._

“Oh of course,” Harry agreed quickly to that notion, knowing he would never be dating material, at least not the way his prone-ness to accidents was going.

 

“Not because of you,” Louis added softly and Harry lifted a brow.

 

“Pardon?” He said, not sure he’d heard.

 

“This,” Louis nodded around them. “This lunch. Could easily be a date,” he explained. “But for the fact I’m your boss and that would make it completely inappropriate…”

 

Harry nodded, sucking in his lower lip.

 

“Completely,” he murmured in agreement.

 

Yes, _completely inappropriate_ , he repeated in his mind, hoping it would send the message to his body which was warm and tingly with the idea Louis thought they could actually sit here on a date if it weren’t for their work-relationship.

 

“It’d just be the one-off, though,” Harry was sure of this as he smirked at his own depreciation. “One lunch with me and it’d be Hasta La Vista,” he joked.

 

Louis’ eyes turned that glacial blue they did when he was annoyed and didn’t want to voice it. Harry gulped at the look, afraid of what he might say.

 

Luckily for him, Horatio returned to take their drinks orders which Louis took care of by ordering them some wine.

 

“See anything you like?” Louis wondered of the menu.

 

“Everything,” Harry admitted, feeling ravenous.

 

Now that they’d been seated in this little quiet booth away from the street and other people, he felt his frantic nerves begin to calm and his tense body begin to relax.

 

He liked Louis’ company and as far as bosses went, he was a real steal. Harry couldn’t quite believe his luck in that respect and actually, the guy knew something about what it was like being gay in a professional environment, having those taboos to carry around.

 

“We can share pots,” Louis suggested. “Order whatever you want…”

 

Harry flicked him a look.

 

“Isn’t the company on a budget?” He checked.

 

Louis smirked. “The company isn’t paying.”

 

“But isn’t this a work lunch?” He checked of Louis’ suggestion to talk work away from the office.

 

“Yes,” Louis nodded once.

 

Harry frowned.

 

“I believe some things are worth the sacrifice,” Louis said then.

 

Harry considered him, stunned for a moment.

 

“So, what did you want to talk about?” Harry wondered.

 

Louis’ lips formed a smile.

 

“Would it sound strange if I said you?” He asked.

 

Harry choked on his wine that Horatio had poured while they chatted.

 

“Yes,” Harry admitted.

 

“I figured,” he sighed. “But we have this presentation next week and I need you to be honest with me, really honest and I’m not sure that you have been.”

 

Harry glanced at him, his eyes widening and his irises pinpointing.

 

“Don’t panic,” Louis said quickly, seeing the fear flash across Harry’s face.

 

“I don’t know how honest you expect me to be,” Harry admitted softly, his voice low and husky.

 

“Can you tell me when you’re feeling nervous?” Louis asked.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“I can try,” he offered, only a small lie.

 

“And if you feel breathless you’ll be honest with me?” He checked next.

 

Harry sat back, suddenly realizing what this was. Louis thought he was going to flake. Either that or he wouldn’t survive the plane ride out there, which he couldn’t really blame the guy for, but still. He was fed up of being the vulnerable one, of being the victim.

 

“I’m not going to pass out again,” Harry frowned, feeling defensive and he cursed himself for wanting to cry.

 

“Well, maybe not,” Louis countered. “But if you’re feeling panicked then at least I have a chance of helping out if I know about it…”

 

Harry stared at the table, not wanting to end this lunch before it began, much like his last episode but he couldn’t sit here and keep a straight face anymore, either. He wanted to cry at the unfairness of it all, cry out his frustration with himself, with how his anxiety owned him and made his life this rich mess of being condescended.

 

He shunted back his chair and stood up, tucking his chin into his chest as he hurried towards the toilets, mortified at the way Louis had called him out.

 

God, he _knew_ , he cringed. He knew that he couldn’t cope, that he was too weak, and that his nerves weren’t made for this career. He knew that Harry was a pathetic human being with no right to any accolade, any praise, any goodness that may try and come his way. Louis knew that Harry couldn’t do this, the same way Harry knew as he locked a cubicle door and slid to the floor; planting his face in his hands as he let his long over-due tears fall.

 

Even as his walls came down and his aggravation seeped through his eyes in the form of tears, Harry felt shamed, broken. He sucked in air, trying at the very least to keep his promise not to pass out again, but something was fundamentally wrong.

 

He may have done business trips with Jenna, but she told him what to do, how to act. In giving him freedom, Louis had also opened his fear. He didn’t know how to be what he should be, he didn’t know anything other than what he was told. He’d make a good little toy for someone if only he wasn’t paralyzed at the idea they’d throw him away once they were done with him.

 

“Harry?” The voice was tentative, soft.

 

Harry knew it was Louis and he didn’t want to face him, yet. He sniffled, muffling his sobs by biting the back of his hand.

 

“Harry, will you open the door?” Louis asked on the other side of the stall.

 

Harry shook his head as his hot tears cascaded his face and whimpering sounds echoed around the bathroom; his attempts to muffle those sounds thwarted slightly.

 

Louis sighed, leaning his forehead against the locked cubicle.

 

“Harry, just unlock the door,” he asked again, more firmly. “Please,” he added afterwards, in that polite way he always did.

 

What good would it do, opening the door, Harry wondered? What did Louis actually plan to do? Dry his tears? The idea appealed to Harry but he couldn’t stand the thought of anyone seeing him like this; let alone trying to console him. He was stupidly idiotic to even be upset over such trivial things like telling people when he felt a panic attack coming on.

 

The sound of movement, strained grunts and clambering brought his face up. Harry gasped as he watched Louis wriggle over the divide in the cubicles, sliding down inside the small toilet.

 

He sat, open mouthed, face wet with tears.

 

“Well, you wouldn’t open the door,” Louis excused with a huskiness Harry didn’t expect. His cheeks were ruddy from exertion or sheepishness, he wasn’t sure which. Maybe both.

 

He instantly folded his arms atop his bended knees and hid his face there.

 

“For a reason,” he croaked out.

 

Harry startled as he felt a weight wedge next to him, forcing him to shift over as Louis sat beside him; leaning his head back which Harry watched with a frown.

 

The move exposed the column of Louis’ neck, a sexy and tempting neck, he noted.

 

“What’re you doing?” Harry asked, annoyed.

 

Louis shrugged. “Hanging out in a toilet cubicle.”

 

Harry shook his head. “This is stupid.”

 

“Not really,” Louis considered. “Leaving my PA crying alone in the men’s toilets would be pretty stupid though,” he mused.

 

Harry couldn’t help his breathy laugh out.

 

“Wait, is that a smile?” Louis gasped, turning toward Harry.

 

Harry managed to hold it up for three seconds before he dissolved back into tears; sobs racking his body.

 

“I guess not,” Louis murmured, slipping an arm around Harry’s shoulders to comfort him; a move which caused Harry to veer into his side; burying his face into Louis’ shirt.

 

He sobbed out his pain, his anger and something more, his vulnerability.

 

“Shh, hey,” Louis hummed. “Shh, hey…”

 

“Sorry,” Harry gulped down his noise.

 

“That’s not what I meant,” Louis mused softly, rubbing his hand up and down Harry’s arm. “It’s okay, hmm?” he tried instead.

 

Harry smiled at his attempts to sound reassuring.

 

“I don’t think it’ll ever be okay,” Harry derided, sniffling loudly.

 

He reached across and pulled off a long length of toilet paper, blowing his nose and drying his eyes.

 

“I shouldn’t have said anything,” Louis apologized. “It wasn’t my place…”

 

“Of course it’s your place!” Harry spat. “You’re the one who has to babysit me…”

 

“I’m not- Jesus, Harry, I’m not baby-sitting you.” He denied.

 

“No?” Harry lifted his brows tellingly.

 

“No,” Louis’ eyes flicked over his face, his spare hand coming up to cup his cheek, brushing away his tears with his thumb.

 

Harry’s breath hitched as their eyes met, something travelling between them and hitting him in the groin.

 

Louis smiled wryly and pulled his hand away.

 

“See what I mean about being too familiar with staff?” He commented.

 

Harry went to shift out of his embrace, but Louis cupped his shoulder to keep him there, against his body.

 

“Hugging is allowed,” he said almost in answer to Harry’s silent question.

 

Harry bit his lip and wriggled.

 

“We should really order some lunch,” he suggested.

 

Louis nodded and jumped up; brushing down his clothes and replacing his boss-mask somewhat.

 

“See you in there,” he murmured, leaving Harry a few moments alone.

 

//

 

Harry was still somewhat stunned by the revelation Louis had made in the bathroom. Not his words, as such, but the fact he climbed over the toilet stall and crouched down with him on the probably unsanitary floor; willing to comfort him.

 

It was weird, is what it was and Harry found himself shyly approaching their lunch table where he observed Louis as he approached.

 

His relaxed and confident boss- a guy who could climb stalls and sit on toilet floors- was back to his usual charming self, apparently having struck up a conversation with another patron, one he seemed fond of if the crinkle in his eyes as he smiled was any indication.

 

Harry flicked his eyes to the other guy; a young man with high blonde hair and a baby-face. A young man who was dressed in jeans with large trainers that overlapped the cuffs. A young man with an accent and a wide smile.

 

Harry wondered briefly if this was Louis’ boyfriend. Because he was sure that someone like Louis wasn’t single, despite his claim to the contrary.

 

Harry bit his lip as he sidled up to the table, pausing before he sat.

 

“Hi,” he extended shyly to the blonde lad as his blue gaze fell on Harry interestedly.

 

“Oh, hey,” he greeted with an Irish lilt, the accent Harry had made out but couldn’t place until just now.

 

“Erm…don’t mind me,” Harry slid into his seat with a blush.

 

Louis flicked a look to Harry, then back to his friend.

 

“Niall, this is Harry, my PA,” Louis introduced. “Harry, Niall, my good friend…”

 

Harry shook Niall’s hand politely.

 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Harry extended.

 

“So you’re the guy he keeps on about,” Niall began as he kept Harry’s reluctant gaze. “Amazingly talented, he says…”

 

Harry shot Louis a look and was surprised to find his boss being the one blushing for once.

 

“Er…yeah,” he agreed, hardly feeling the praise was deserved.

 

Niall nodded widely and Harry instantly liked him. He seemed to be an easy-going guy to be around.

 

“Was just telling him you must be good to bring you here,” Niall commented.

 

Louis cleared his throat, shooting Niall a warning look.

 

Harry frowned, wondering why Niall thought he had to be special for Louis to bring him here. He didn’t ask, deciding the answer was probably not something he needed to hear.

 

“Are you joining us?” Harry ventured.

 

“No, god no,” Niall rolled his eyes. “Just saw this punk and decided to say hello,” he assured.

 

Punk? Harry glanced at Louis. He was hardly anything near a punk. He couldn’t imagine a world where Louis was just like he was, a young man with a large heart veering through life with reckless abandonment. Not that Harry did that of course…maybe only in an emotional sense.

 

“Oh,” Harry nodded. “It was nice to meet you,” he added.

 

Niall nodded, flicking Louis a look. Louis stared back at him and they seemed to be exchanging silent conversation for they both gazed, not moving.

 

Once Niall had parted ways, Harry looked to Louis.

 

“This lunch hour is beginning to take the piss a bit,” he acknowledged. “If we order now and eat fast, I can make up the time,” he offered.

 

Louis let out an amused breath.

 

“You’ll do no such thing. But let’s order,” he agreed.

 

Harry sat and chewed his lower lip while they waited for food, their natural flow of conversation somewhat stumped by Harry’s emotional break down. Unsurprisingly, he mused.

 

“So, why does Niall think this place is special to you?” Harry wondered, the question on his mind and usually he’d be too damn scared to ask. The good thing about having a cry was that it made you numb to little things and so your level of confidence raised a notch.

 

Louis regarded him with an intense gaze, his lips parting as he considered his next words. He fidgeted in his seat, signaling his awkwardness and Harry found he quite liked being on the other side of the awkward table for once.

 

“I only ever bring dates here, usually,” he shared softly. “Niall knows that and he likes to tease me about it.”

 

Harry frowned, bypassing the fact that Louis used this restaurant for his lovers.

 

“Why only dates?” Harry wondered.

 

Louis shrugged. “It’s kind of intimate. I know the staff so I can get favours usually, if I know someone likes something in particular or….”

 

Louis trailed off, licking his lips.

 

“I just thought this would be a nice place since you don’t like crowds and that,” he explained quickly.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“You must have some special memories,” Harry broached.

 

Louis’ smile turned wry.

 

“Used to, maybe. Not so fond of those memories now.” He sighed.

 

Harry found his words even more confusing the more he spoke, which was odd considering when Louis didn’t tell him anything of himself, he also felt confused.

 

“You sound like you had your heart broken,” Harry ventured bravely. He blamed the crying spell, he really did. Or the wine. Maybe it was both.

 

Louis hitched in a breath; suddenly interested in his wine glass; until the waiter delivered their meals and broke their uneasy silence.

 

“Heartbreak- the act of breaking someone’s heart by not giving out your own,” Louis murmured.

 

Harry was astounded. Really, he was. Louis had been in love with someone who didn’t love him back. _Louis_. This strong, capable, assured guy had once been vulnerable. The way his long lashes hit his cheeks and the corners of his mouth turned up just-so; telling of his bemusement, made Harry want to forget about his lunch and instead fall to his knees in front of Louis and cry at the unfairness of it. Then he might even beg Louis to tell him what to do to make it okay again.

 

Louis seemed to realise his foray into the un-professional and startled, pulling himself up into a stoic seating position, clearing his throat.

 

“Well, anyway, I’m still fond of this establishment and I can see you like it here, so…”

 

Harry nodded, having nibbled on his order.

 

“Thank you,” he said then, meaningfully.

 

Louis had brought him here because he knew it would put Harry at ease; despite his own emotional connotations to the place.

 

“So…the trip,” Louis ventured again, now reassured Harry was more emotionally stable.

 

Harry swallowed down his salad heavily.

 

“The trip,” he repeated with a sense of foreboding.

 

“Well, let’s try and be honest, eh?” He suggested lightly, trying to keep things on a professional level. “It’s four days just the two of us and we need to be on the same page.”

 

Harry nodded. “Yes, sir,” he agreed.

 

Louis looked at him pointedly.

 

“Erm…that is, I mean, yes, Louis,” Harry corrected.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Good.”

 

He didn’t feel like the incident in the toilets had ever happened when Harry still called him ‘sir’. He sighed. The incident in the toilets never should have happened in all honesty, but it was too late now.

 

They enjoyed their meal, Louis paid and they made their way back to the office. When Harry logged in, he had an email from Karen.

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ MISSING!

 

Where have you been?!?

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : NOT MISSING!

 

I went to lunch with Louis. What gives?

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ YOU WERE MISSING!!

 

You should hear the rumours about Snr. Tomlinson. You wouldn’t have gone to lunch if you knew :o

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : I WAS NOT MISSING I WAS AT LUNCH

 

What are you talking about? He’s not a serial killer, is he??

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ AT LUNCH AND MISSING

 

Seriously Harold, a serial killer?! Anyway, apparently he went through secretaries at his last place quicker than most of us go through Kleenex….

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

Harry sucked in a breath. That didn’t bode well. He’d always had a sense that his job wasn’t safe, maybe this was the reason why…

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : AT LUNCH NOT MISSING

 

Sh*t, am I next?

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ AT LUNCH MAYBE BUT DEFINITELY MISSING

 

Not sure how to say this, but rumour is that he got rather too ‘friendly’ with them and they had to go or he did…

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

Harry’s mouth hung open at that; linking Karen’s email to what Louis had said about being over-familiar with staff. He wondered if that’s what he meant and briefly wondered why Louis would risk getting into trouble for him by vaulting into the toilet cubicle and hugging him that way.

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : DEFINITELY NOT MISSING SINCE I WAS ONLY FIVE MINUTES AWAY

 

Oh cr*p. If he starts being nice, I’ll box up my desk…

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ FIVE MINUTES AWAY BUT MISSING FOR TWO HOURS

 

Apparently they were all guys, too…

 

:/

 

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

Harry felt something weird crawl across his skin. Something uncomfortable and itchy in a nasty way. It felt a lot like jealousy, but he knew he couldn’t be jealous because that would be just plain ridiculous. He actually found himself laughing out loud at his own preposterousness.

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ MISSING, RETURNED CRAZY

 

Stop cackling to yourself you look like a lunatic.

 

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

Harry darted looks around him self-consciously at Karen’s latest massage, realizing she was ribbing him as his desk was completely isolated and no-one else was around. Apart from Louis in his office just behind, of course.

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : NOT MISSING OR CRAZY

 

I find it hilarious that you think Louis would possibly find it within himself to be ‘over friendly’ to me, even if I happen to have the right parts for his preference. Sorry if I gave off the impression of lunacy…

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ DEFINITELY CRAZY (AND MISSING)

 

Shut up, you’re gorgeous.

 

Which reminds me. Have you spoken to Zayn lately?

 

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : CRAZY & AWOL

 

*SIGH*

 

I told you, not until after the trip. Besides, I’m still waiting for Louis to come onto me and sack me after; who needs Zayn :P

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ UNFUNNY

 

You may mock me now, Styles, but when you are jobless, remember this moment. It’s me saying ‘I told you so’.

 

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : UNFUNNY IS NOT A WORD

 

If Louis Tomlinson manages to flirt with me with a straight face, I’ll literally pay you to shout ‘I told you so’ at me when he dumps my ass. For now, I think I’m safe.

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ JOKING ASIDE

 

Just be careful, Haz. I’ll miss you too much if you go L

 

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

Harry looked up across the office, seeking Karen out. He didn’t know why, but he needed to just see her and reassure himself that she was really okay. She was being silly, worrying about things that would never happen, but still, she was his friend and he loved her.

 

He found her just as she swiveled in her seat; sending him a reassuring smile. He looked down, typing a reply.

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : JOKE’S ON ME

 

Alright, I’ll be careful.

 

And I definitely have a chance with a tribunal if sexual harassment is involved…

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ NO JOKE

 

Why do you sound excited at the prospect?? Does Haz have a crush on his master?

 

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

Harry laughed out loud again, the loud spurt of noise covered with his hand which he clamped to his mouth quickly.

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : NO JOKE

 

Do some work.

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ YES, SIR

 

 

________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

Harry shook his head gently at her teasing and went back to more pressing matters, like what he was being paid to do for starters.

 

//

 

It was later that night that Harry realized he’d had all kinds of thoughts chasing around his mind from Karen’s earlier email conversation; mostly around Louis’ last job and the idea that he’d slept with all his male secretaries only to have them sacked thereafter.

 

The trouble was it matched up too well to what Louis had said about being too familiar and also what Niall had said about the restaurant. As though Louis had brought all his secretaries there to woo them.

 

He frowned. Louis definitely wasn’t wooing him, that was for sure. And who could blame him, Harry was hardly a catch. And actually, maybe that’s why Louis had taken Jenna’s job, because he knew he was going to be saddled with an unattractive secretary who he could make into a PA, with the intention to hire another secretary more to his liking.

 

Harry didn’t know how he felt about that. About Louis having another gay-boy running around after him, being his office-bitch. Harry felt flames burn inside him; realising that _he_ wanted to be Louis’ bitch, in the office and maybe even out of it. He decided not to let that thought flourish.

 

Instead, he tried to drag his mind back to the facts.

 

But there was something else, something that niggled at him and told him that despite all the facts which apparently led to one conclusion, there was a piece of evidence that Harry couldn’t deny. He could never tell Karen, of course, but it still existed and it went against the picture of Louis as a player, a man who used other men and tossed them away regardless. No, Harry’s gut told him that image wasn’t quite right.

 

Louis had had his heart broken.

 

Harry didn’t know who had dealt that spectacular blow; or how it happened, but he knew Louis wasn’t lying about that. It still surprised him that he admitted it and Harry couldn’t help but be curious about this ex.

 

Of course, he had no reason to wonder about any part of Louis’ personal life, but nonetheless, he was intrigued. He wondered if their trip away would give him a chance to ask such questions, to subtly steer him into a conversation about his past. Because stupidly, Harry thought, if he knew what had created the hole in Louis’ heart might give him an idea of how to mend it.

 

And it was crazy, it really was, stuff of epic lunacy proportions, but the fact his boss was trying to help him overcome his anxiety, made him want to return the favour somehow. Be a piece of a puzzle that Louis was putting together the same way Harry was with his own life.

 

He tossed and turned in bed, willing his mind to shut down, knowing it wouldn’t.

 

Monday he’d be boarding a flight with Louis to California for four days and for once he wasn’t paralyzed with fear at that thought.

 

Stupid emotional break-down, he blamed tiredly with a yawn as his eyes fluttered shut.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for comments and Kudos!
> 
> Ang

** chapter 4 **

 

Harry had one suitcase and a carry-on.

 

He waited impatiently, buzzing with nerves as Louis leaned back in the first class lounge and folded one leg across the other, opening a paper to peruse.

 

Harry wished he’d bought a magazine, now. He wasn’t about to venture back into duty-free to go shopping so he bounced his knee in front of him, biting at his thumbnail as he considered the days ahead.

 

After a few minutes, he heard a sigh beside him and Louis flipped down the corner of his paper, somewhat like a father with an antsy child. Harry didn’t pay much attention, still locked in his own world in his head where everything went wrong from the plane bursting into inexplicable flames and crashing; to Harry managing to trip with a jug of water and pour it all over the executives they wanted to impress.

 

He startled as a hand cupped his knee gently.

 

“You’re making people feel sea-sick,” Louis murmured wryly as he lifted his hand away.

 

Harry smiled tightly, a wan smile, not producing his dimples or lighting his eyes.

 

“Sorry…”

 

“What are you worrying about?” Louis asked, and Harry found it unsettling that Louis knew. Louis knew he was worrying, mostly about stupid things, and he wondered if Louis knew that, too.

 

“Stuff,” Harry offered, going back to shredding his nail.

 

Louis grasped his wrist to bring his hand away from his mouth.

 

“Tell me,” he urged as he placed Harry’s hand back into his lap; folding up his paper neatly and laying it to the side in favour of turning toward Harry.

 

“Silly stuff,” Harry offered.

 

Louis licked his lips. “You promised to be honest with me,” he chided gently.

 

Harry lifted his brows. Did he? _Oh_. At the restaurant. Well, he hadn’t actually promised anything but still, he knew Louis didn’t want another melt-down on his hands and this was as good as blackmail.

 

“I’m thinking the plane might develop an unknown fault and crash in flames in a part of the sea nobody can get to,” he said then, by way of introduction to his thoughts. “Or by some insane bad luck I’ll be the one asked to carry a jug of water in the meeting and I’ll trip and soak the important folk…and even if neither of those things happen, I have about a hundred more ideas of what can go wrong,” he admitted.

 

Louis nodded, biting his lip.

 

“And what about what can go right?” He wondered.

 

“What?” Harry snapped his gaze to him, off-balance at his question.

 

“Tell me what can go right…” Louis repeated.

 

Harry paused.

 

“The flight will be eventless, the meeting will go without a hitch and-”

 

“And you’ll have succeeded,” Louis finished.

 

Harry dipped his head.

 

“Do you set yourself up to fail deliberately?” He wondered. “So that if something goes wrong you can tell yourself you knew it would? Is it some kind of sick reassurance that you’re destined to fail?”

 

Harry considered this. He may well have hit the nail on the head right there.

 

“Yes,” he squeaked, biting his lip.

 

Louis sighed again and Harry got the distinct impression he was nothing but an annoyance to his older, cooler boss.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Louis expressed as their boarding was called, leaving him unable to say anything before they had to climb aboard.

 

Once they were settled, side by side- Harry choosing the window seat- Louis cleared his throat with the intention to speak again, say something epic if he could manage it, or something reassuring if not.

 

Harry’s voice blurted out first, pausing him once more.

 

“Look!” he pointed excitedly at the baggage handlers throwing on their luggage. “That’s your case…” He recognized.

 

Louis nodded, mildly amused at Harry’s boyish view of all this. When Harry’s green gaze fell on his, he sucked in a breath as a reminder to keep his lungs working. Those soft and alight olive orbs entranced him; as much as he fought that reaction while in Harry’s presence.

 

“Sorry, I’ll be quiet now,” Harry blushed. “Jenna always told me not to talk during the flight and I just forgot for a moment…since you’re not Jenna and things are well-it’s different with you than her and I got carried away but I’m okay now, really, I’ll be fine, I just-”

 

“Harry,” Louis ceased his babbling with a warm call of his name. “Are you scared of flying?” He deduced expertly.

 

Harry swallowed. Gulped, really, if he had to admit it.

 

“Maybe just a _teensy_ , tiny little bit, I mean nothing major, just the jitters really and who _doesn’t_ get that? Who doesn’t feel a little bit scared- or apprehensive even, since I’m not _really_ scared as such, just find it all a bit overwhelming, really, being in the air and-”

 

Harry froze as he felt a hand cover his where he gripped the seat-rest tightly as his words came tumbling out. Words, he was sure, that made no sense and only served to make things more awkward if that were possible. It was already pretty awkward with Louis’ hand clamped over his.

 

“Why did Jenna make you keep quiet?” He wondered belatedly.

 

Harry shrugged, still only too aware of Louis’ hand on his, the contact making his heart beat faster and his breathing shallow. It was supposed to be a comfort but knowing that Louis was doing something that Jenna would never have dreamed of made him ache in ways he didn’t know he could and actually, this was scary. This was ‘too familiar’ wasn’t it? Would he come back from this trip only to be replaced?

 

“Uh…” he cleared his throat, not sure what to do.

 

Louis turned toward him, a concerned frown marring his handsome features.

 

“Harry, are you breathing?” He asked softly, worry inflected in his voice.

 

Harry laughed out a single, amused breath. _Shit, yeah!_ He was breathing, of course he was. The reason he felt light-headed was because of the altitude, yes, that was it. Even if they hadn’t taken off yet, he was still affected. Somewhere deep down he told his brain to shut up and take the excuse. Because there was no way in hell that the merest touch from Louis was making him react this way, like he’d won the lottery and was skiing down a mountain at the same time.

 

“Harry…” Louis voice was firm, almost fatherly.

 

“I’m breathing,” Harry sucked in a stalled, half-breath, then a deeper one, looking to their hands which still overlapped.

 

As the plane was towed down to the runway he closed his eyes and felt like a pregnant woman practicing breathing as he counted in and out carefully, like he’d been shown at the hospital. Seven counts in, eleven counts out. Seven counts in, eleven counts out.

 

“One…two…three…four…five…six…seven…” Louis voice whispered beside him as he began his next breath in, bemused at his involvement. He counted out, too, all the way to eleven.

 

The jerk of the plane leaving ground startled Harry from his exercise, bringing his gaze across to his boss.

 

“You counted,” Harry frowned.

 

Louis smirked, rubbing his hand a little before settling his hand back into his own lap.

 

“They told me at the hospital,” he admitted.

 

“Me, too,” Harry shared.

 

Louis smiled at him then, a pure, simple, amazing smile that Harry cherished and tucked away in his memory.

 

“We’re doing this,” Louis grinned. “We’re on our way…”

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Louis,” he husked, hesitantly since the sensation of being off ground always made him dizzy.

 

“Hmm?” Louis tilted his head toward his PA.

 

“I’m sorry about this, you know, about having a panic attack and-”

 

“Shut up, Styles,” Louis murmured, seemingly happy to be in the air and on their way.

 

Harry nodded and fidgeted, peeking out of the window. Far off, he could make out geese flying in a three; the sight bringing a delighted smile to his lips.

 

He felt serene, calm even. Even though his head would never fully adjust to being thousands of miles up, his frazzled nerves had. Because of Louis, he realized. His gentle ‘shut up’ was so different to Jenna’s silencing of him that he wondered at how two people could be such polar opposites.

 

Louis was telling him to be quiet to stop him being derogatory about himself, he knew. And he hated that Louis just accepted his melt-downs, but in the same breath, he almost-loved it too. It meant there was hope, however small, that someone, somewhere could maybe accept his flawed self and willingly spend time with him besides.

 

He sighed, a smile coming to his lips.

 

Maybe this was just what he needed after-all. Time away, time with someone who rooted for him. Just time, really. Something he never usually let surround him.

 

He glanced across at Louis and found his boss had already nodded-off, his head lolling to the side. He subtly shifted closer to him, wondering if Louis would use his shoulder as a pillow or not. He wouldn’t mind if he did, he realized. In fact, he almost wanted him to, a reassurance he wasn’t completely useless, but could be relied upon as a soft sleeping place if nothing else.

 

Harry felt his own eyes drag down; content and exhausted from the adrenaline rush of before. He smiled sleepily as he felt a weight rest on his broad shoulder; the tickle of Louis’ too-long hair making him shiver. A smile tucked into the corners of his lips as he closed his eyes; for the first time not wanting the flight to end.

 

//

 

Louis awoke with a start as an air-pocket jostled the plane and he lifted his head only to find himself leaned rather toward Harry; and had in fact been using his shoulder as a sleeping place.

 

He didn’t have time to feel awkward because he quickly noted that Harry too, was asleep and he assumed the young man hadn’t noticed his slip-up; something Louis quickly corrected by shifting back over to the centre of his seat; grasping his knees tightly with his hands as the urge to move them overwhelmed him.

 

In fact, he didn’t want to just move them; he wanted to use them for much more gentle purposes. The fact that the sun was gently hazing through the small window, highlighting Harry's thick, touchable hair had nothing to do with that urge, of course. That was just coincidence. What a sight to wake up to though; Harry peacefully asleep his babyish face soft and beautiful, his slicked hair itching to be ruined. His pouty lips were parted and he let out the odd murmur; sounds which Louis could quite easily imagine escalating if he chose to wake the angel by his side in an entirely un-professional way.

 

Louis shook his head of the idea, sternly reminding himself not to entertain such imaginings. He could get into a lot of trouble should he be found staring at his PA in a way that left no doubt to the imagination as to his thoughts. And Louis knew only too well just how his thoughts were often printed right on his face, in the way he looked at people, or how his face expressed.

 

He hated it sometimes, that he couldn’t hide a thing but then he also found it incredible that Harry hadn’t cottoned onto this fact yet, still completely oblivious to his inner turmoil.

 

Harry was not someone he was prepared for, to be really honest. When he’d been told about his male secretary he’d been blithe about it, not surprised to find a male in the typically female role since he’d employed a tonne at his last place.

 

But none of them had been Harry. And Harry was just…well, he hadn’t decided what Harry was, but his heart-on-sleeve nature and innate awkwardness were sexy as hell if only the tall, gangly boy knew it.

 

But still, it wasn’t for Louis to find anyone sexy, let alone his PA. And so when he had divulged in his soft-spot for his co-worker by climbing into the toilet cubicle with him, hugging him while he cried; he knew he was in trouble and he had to get out of it fast.

 

He wasn’t sure holding Harry’s hand and falling asleep on his shoulder counted towards getting out of trouble, but he had the entire trip to remind himself how to behave like a pro; even if he couldn’t actually manage to re-enact it in person.

 

Louis sighed.

 

Despite the obvious complications of finding Harry attractive, he still had his heart to nurse better. Okay, so he was over Nick and he felt like he was finally getting back into the swing of things. He’d dated; quite frequently actually, but he’d not had anything real with anyone since he’d gotten his heart broken just over a year ago.

 

Louis was something of an enigma to those who worked with him. Niall was one of the few friends he counted in his trust and he found the Irish lad to be a real balm to his roughness at times, a complete distraction to his problems.

 

But even Niall knew he was pissing around when it came to love, he’d called him on it in the restaurant knowing that place was his and Nick’s place to go; a place Louis hadn’t been back to since they split.

 

And it was special to Louis, but not because of Nick. He had taken Nick there because it was special to him before that. It always reminded him of home, somehow. Of the way his mum’s Spanish roots would always permeate their house, the way his skin tanned so well in the summer because of her heritage, the family they often bombarded when they went abroad.

 

He smiled in fond memory of it all.

 

And now he’d taken Harry there, to his ‘home’ of sorts, and Niall knew that meant something and had almost clued Harry in on it, which Louis silently appreciated Harry’s ignorance in that moment.

 

If Harry had half a clue, he’d be dangerous to the gay community, he mused. Even clueless he was an adorable ball of fluff that he had the urge to hug and fuck in the same moment. How was that, Louis wondered? Someone so vulnerable, so broken and yet so amazingly beautiful.

 

He was just staring at Harry’s lips when the younger boy came-to, another rocky patch hitting before they landed.

 

“M-where’m I?” Harry murmured, blinking heavy lids open several times to try and get them to stay that way.

 

Louis smiled, casting his eyes over Harry’s sleepy face, watching as he self-consciously ran a hand over his pristine hair, making sure it was all in place.

 

“We’re about to land,” Louis shared, slipping back on his mask. A mask he was forgetting how to wear.

 

//

 

The hotel that Louis had booked them into was pretty plush by Harry’s standards.

 

He wandered into the spacious room and looked around, instantly feeling at ease here although he couldn’t explain why. He set down his luggage and stared at the inter-linking door between his and Louis’ rooms, something Louis was sure to request as part of their booking requirements.

 

Along with his massage and Jacuzzi package, Harry remembered with a smirk. He wondered who Louis had in mind for that particular jaunt since he’d booked two places and Harry frowned, wondering if Louis planned on going out tonight to pick up a local.

 

He didn’t know why that idea grated on him so much.

 

He sighed, feeling tired from the flight despite his long snooze and he wondered if he shouldn’t just get into bed and sleep the rest of the day away; even if it meant he woke up later he could always mooch around the light-lit city and take in some culture.

 

He lifted his bag to unpack first; needing to settle a bit before he could sleep again. He was just putting away his clothes when a knock sounded on the internal door.

 

He moved toward it, unbolting it, allowing Louis to open it through.

 

“Hey,” Louis grinned, clearly pleased with his choice. “Isn’t it great?”

 

Harry nodded, sucking his lower lip into his mouth.

 

“What’s wrong?” Louis asked.

 

Harry lifted his brows, not realizing he looked sullen.

 

“Nothing…just tired,” he explained.

 

Louis nodded, stretching his neck to look past Harry's wide shoulders.

 

“Can I see, then?” He asked curiously, making Harry smile.

 

Harry stepped back and let Louis roam; watching him gaze out of the window at the same view he no doubt had himself. He got the sense that Louis didn’t want to be alone.

 

“So, we can hang out for a bit?” Louis commented, compacting Harry’s theory. “Maybe get some dinner…wander round the city…”

 

Harry wanted to ask ‘what about your Jacuzzi package for two’ but he didn’t have the guts.

 

“I’ll be your wingman, I take it,” he murmured of Louis’ intentions to find a boy for the night.

 

Louis choked by the window.

 

“Pardon?” He said.

 

Harry swallowed. _Oh shit._ What if he’d got this all wrong? What if Louis had a lover here, a boyfriend, even? Harry was still of the opinion that someone like Louis could not be single, no matter how badly his heart had been broken.

 

“Erm…never mind,” he blushed of his statement, mentally kicking himself.

 

He’d do well to remember that Louis was his boss and he should keep his damn opinions to himself.

 

“Wing-man?” Louis repeated, not letting it drop.

 

Harry rolled his eyes, fiddling in his suitcase, carefully hanging his creasable items.

 

“I…uh…I was joking,” he offered feebly, avoiding his gaze as he scurried about.

 

Louis tilted his head.

 

“Put on some jeans,” he suggested. “Let’s go out…”

 

Harry peered at him.

 

“No wing-man business,” Louis assured.

 

Harry blinked.

 

“You-you don’t want to meet someone?” Harry asked, checking more than anything.

 

Louis sighed, spinning on the spot. He had on skinny jeans and a comic-print tee shirt and he looked his youthful 22 unlike in the office in his chinos when he passed for older. His hair was long; scruffy to some but Harry appreciated the mess fondly. He could see the edges of tattoos, but none of them were clear. Somehow, this Louis before him was a completely different guy than the one he sat next to on the plane.

 

“I would love to ask where you got the idea I’m on the lookout, but I’m scared of the answer,” Louis admitted.

 

Harry gulped. Should he come clean? Maybe they could laugh about it? Maybe Louis could put him straight and this would all be a long-gone memory of awkwardness in favour of a more easy exchange.

 

Louis seemed to sense that Harry wasn’t going to answer immediately and he spoke again.

 

“Come on, get changed. I’m taking you out,” he said again and Harry followed orders.

 

//

 

They headed into the Californian evening, Harry having changed into turn-up jeans and a buttoned shirt in lemon yellow.

 

As he walked beside Louis, he wondered how the other man could even stand being seen with him, out in public. He reminded himself that nobody knew Louis here and so maybe he didn’t care.

 

“You booked a Jacuzzi and massage for two,” Harry blurted out in response to Louis’ previous expression regarding his assumption he was out to pull tonight.

 

Louis took a moment to make sense of his random statement, his hands slipping into his pockets as he did so. He looked across to Harry.

 

“That’s why you think I’m out to find a one-night-stand?” He questioned.

 

Harry nodded, his eyes wide with fear as to Louis’ reaction.

 

 _Laughter_. He hadn’t expected laughter. Louis was doubled over, tickled pink apparently.

 

“You-! I-!” He gasped, trying to formulate words and failing.

 

Harry rolled his eyes as passers-by began to regard them curiously.

 

“You’re so cute together,” one teenage girl commented, her exaggerated accent a pleasure to Harry’s ears.

 

 _Together?_ He frowned. No, they weren’t together…

 

“You thought!” Louis gasped in air, still chuckling away.

 

Harry folded his arms sulkily.

 

“Is it that funny?” He wondered.

 

Louis flicked him a look, his eyes sparkling. “Yes!” he admitted. “Oh, wow, really, Harry, that you think I would do that is a little insulting…” He added amusedly after.

 

“I didn’t know,” Harry mumbled, shrugging.

 

“Okay, so I have no wife, no boyfriend and I’m going on a trip with my PA but you assume for some reason that the double spots weren’t for you and I, but for me and some other random dude I was going to pick up tonight?” He narrated Harry’s idea out loud and Harry had to admit it sounded pretty stupid.

 

“You might,” he argued softly.

 

Louis shook his head, still amused.

 

“How was I to know…why would you book me for it, I’m just staff,” he mused.

 

Louis stopped laughing, stood straight and regarded him. His eyes almost went that hard colour they did when he was annoyed, but Harry assumed their location was mellowing him. Louis stepped toward him and gripped his arms just above his elbows, gently.

 

“You’re far more than ‘just staff’, Harry,” Louis assured. “I like to treat my colleagues when they earn it,” he added. “And tomorrow after the presentation, you’ll have earned it.”

 

Harry blinked. Would he have earned it by then? He doubted it.

 

“What if I fuck it all up?” He enquired.

 

Louis slipped back into chuckles.

 

“You still get the prize,” he assured.

 

Harry nodded, following him into a grill bar that Louis had sourced.

//

 

 

“I’m so hungry,” Louis’ eyes flicked down the menu keenly.

 

“Me, too,” Harry agreed.

 

“Big lad, aren’t you?” Louis observed. “Still growing I expect…”

 

Harry looked at him. Big? Did he mean tall or…? He looked down, unconsciously taking the flesh on his hip in his hand, feeling it, running a hand over his belly that he knew was flat, but he still looked like a teenager with puppy-fat sometimes, he acknowledged. No matter how much he ran and worked out.

 

He felt a shadow cross the table more than saw it, startled as he realized Louis was leaning over, reaching for his hand that was testing his flab.

 

“Stop that, I didn’t mean it like that,” he chided.

 

Harry stared.

 

“I’m twenty, I think I’m done growing,” he said only.

 

Louis nodded, taking great interest in the menu again. Harry frowned, not sure what to make of it.

 

“At least you’re tall,” Louis commented then, back on familiar ground. “I hate being short.”

 

“You’re not short,” Harry denied quickly.

 

“I have to roll up all my jeans,” Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“So? It’s nice, your build and that…it’s-”

 

Harry paused. _It’s perfect_. That’s what he was about to say. _Jesus Christ_ , what had gotten into him? Was jet-lag another thing he had to avoid along with crying? These stupid things that kept bringing his inhibitions away but in reality he knew the real master of that trick was the man sat opposite him. If he didn’t feel so comfortable in Louis’ company, he’d never even dream of letting these words trip off his tongue.

 

Louis tilted his head.

 

“What are you thinking?” He asked Harry of the food selection and Harry quickly scanned the menu for the first time, completely distracted before that point to even care.

 

“Ribs, probably,” he decided.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Can we order, I’m starved?”

 

Harry smiled. “Sure,” he agreed lightly.

 

A waitress came and took their orders and Louis asked for a starter selection for them to nibble on before the mains came. Harry found their fingers clashing as they both aimed for a plump looking shrimp.

 

“Sorry,” he blushed, moving toward a deep-fried mushroom instead.

 

“You have it,” Louis insisted, selecting another appetiser to punctuate his words.

 

Harry shyly took the shrimp and ate it, feeling Louis’ eyes on him as he did so.

 

“Good, huh?” Louis husked.

 

“Really good,” Harry agreed.

 

“So, you like California?” Louis asked, a little strained if anyone could tell. Harry could, but he failed in recognizing why his boss might sound that way.

 

Harry’s grin was lazy and relaxed. It deepened his dimples and made his emerald eyes sparkle.

 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I don’t know why, I just felt instantly at home here,” he commented.

 

Louis nodded once.

 

“If this deal goes well, you might be offered a position over here, managing the account…” he suggested.

 

Harry swallowed, hard.

 

“Erm…no, I don’t think I could do that,” he denied shyly.

 

Louis blew out some air in argument.

 

“You could, Harry!” he enthused. “You’d be amazing…”

 

Harry looked at him again, finding this whole experience unlike anything else he’d ever done. _You’d be amazing_. Where was he supposed to file that exactly? Under ‘I fancy my boss and everything he says sounds like a come-on’?

 

He dropped his gaze again, hoping to get through this meal as quickly as possible. This was awful torture, seeing Louis in his young, natural state, trying to cheer-lead him, trying to inject some self-esteem into his lacking veins. He hated that other people felt they had to try and bolster him, tell him things to make him believe it. He hated that he didn’t believe it. He hated that he was vulnerable because of it. He hated being weak.

 

And he hated the fact that he sat here looking across at a guy like Louis, wondering how it felt to be with him, really be with him in every sense, like being fucked by him, being protected by him, being kissed by him…he hated that he’d never know because of his stupid nervousness, his ridiculous inability to find a man and settle down.

 

He hated everything, he decided. Life was so unfair, so cruel…why did he have to miss out on things other people took for granted? He wanted the world, too. He wanted to travel and run in the sea, he wanted to ride a topless car across state, he wanted to kiss someone until his legs gave way…yes, he wanted all that. And yet he knew he would never have it.

 

“What are you thinking about?” Louis asked gently as Harry’s eyes roamed the room; his inner thoughts evidently coming to an end.

 

Harry lifted one edge of his mouth in a crooked, wry smile. He said the only thing that was passable, really.

 

“I was thinking about running into the sea,” he said.

 

Louis’ brows lifted, surprised by his answer.

 

“We’re five minutes away,” he shared.

 

Harry gave him a funny look, even guffawed.

 

“Yeah, okay…”

 

“We are,” Louis assured. “We’ll go after dinner.”

 

Harry rolled his eyes.

 

“I’m not some kid to just take to the sea-side when he begs,” Harry accused; realizing how bitter and ungrateful he must sound, but really, what was this? Grant Harry his wish day or something?

 

Louis swallowed, his upbeat aura fading. Harry cursed.

 

“Shoot, sorry, I didn’t mean to say that…”

 

Louis licked his lips.

 

“Can’t we just go to the beach because we’re two dudes in California and because we’ll never get a chance to do it again?” He asked softly.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Yeah, we can,” he accepted.

 

Louis brightened.

 

“Good.”

 

 _Good_. Harry bit into his lower lip. Of course it was good. No reason not to be…

 

//

 

Harry forgot all about real-life as he sprinted down the sand, not even looking behind for Louis as he headed for the waves; running into them with an excited gasp and squeal.

 

“Woo! Californiaaa!” he whooped, making Louis chuckle as he followed more slowly.

 

Louis checked about the beach, finding it quiet, littered with only a few stragglers trying to grasp the last shards of sun; some walking dogs and a few guys playing Frisbee.

 

“Hey there,” One winked at him, a tall guy with dark hair. Just his type, really. Too bad he’d already met a guy who was fast becoming his favourite.

 

“Hi,” Louis greeted with his British accent.

 

“Oh wow, you’re from England,” the guy grinned. “Sexy accent,” he flirted.

 

Louis flicked his eyes to where Harry was busy splashing in the squall, seemingly happy with his own company at the moment.

 

“Thanks,” Louis appreciated.

 

“He with you?” The guy twinkled of the enthusiastically boyish Harry, who was now soaked through from rolling in the tide.

 

“Yep,” Louis smirked proudly.

 

“He doesn’t get out much, huh?” The guy observed.

 

“He will now,” Louis assured softly, thinking the guy was probably right. And actually, if he had anything to do with it, he wanted Harry to get out a lot more. So he could see the world for what it really was and let people love him the way they were bound to.

 

“Ben,” the guy stuck out his hand, then pointed to his Frisbee partner. “That’s Ralph.”

 

“Nice to meet you,” Louis extended his hand to shake.

 

“Can we go say hi to your crazy boyfriend?” Ralph asked.

 

Louis chuckled at their misconception, but he didn’t correct them.

 

“Sure,” he raised his brows as he led the way; watching Harry spin in dizzying circles as the water splashed up his legs- his jeans now rolled to the knees.

 

“Harry!” he yelled; smiling lopsidedly at his new friends as the younger lad didn’t hear him, too caught up in his moment.

 

He stepped toward him, into the tide; not knowing what to do other than wrap his arms around his waist to contain him.

 

“Haz!” Louis called and Harry froze at the contact, relaxing as he realized it was just Louis calling his name, holding him.

 

Louis stepped back.

 

“A couple of guys want to meet you,” Louis explained of his interruption.

 

Harry bit into his lip, his eyes going large and innocent as he regarded Louis, then he flicked a shy glance up the beach to a few feet away where two beach hunks waved with white grins.

 

“Them?” Harry said to Louis.

 

Louis nodded. “Come on,” he prompted, grabbing Harry’s hand without thinking and leading him over.

 

“Ben, Ralph, meet Harry,” Louis introduced and Harry gave Louis a funny look as he slipped his hand from his; to shake those of their new acquaintances.

 

“Hi,” Harry smiled shyly. “How’s it going?”

 

“Oh my god, you’re adorable,” Ben cooed.

 

Harry blushed.

 

“Am I?” He wondered, perturbed.

 

“Are you a princess?” Ralph asked outright and Harry was shocked by his candidness. Picking up gay guys on a beach in LA, _who knew_ , he mused.

 

“Erm…” Harry was lost for what to say. Really he wanted to say, no I’m not a fucking princess even if everybody thinks I am and okay maybe I do own lace panties but that doesn’t make me a princess.

 

“No, he’s bloody not,” Louis let out a breath of amusement, covering Harry’s awkwardness.

 

Ralph turned his keen gaze to Louis.

 

“You…?” He asked instead.

 

Ben swiped his friend.

 

“Ralph, stop, you’re scaring them,” he teased.

 

Ralph shrugged.

 

“We could have some fun, the four of us,” he put it out there.

 

Harry’s eyes widened and Louis noticed the way he tensed in fear. Well, that was odd, he mused. Surely being gay Harry had been with a guy before, had fun, and had sex.

 

_Wait…_

 

Louis gasped, realizing the truth. _Harry hadn’t had sex_. He’d wait for the other lad to confirm that fact, but he was pretty sure he had guessed right. He stepped closer to Harry, taking his hand once more.

 

“We don’t like to share,” he said, giving the impression they were an item, which Harry almost choked at. _Oh, the irony!_

 

Ralph flicked his eyes down Harry.

 

“If I had him, I wouldn’t either,” he winked.

 

Louis laughed along, parting with their brief friends with a wave, turning to Harry as he slipped his hand back from Harry’s cold, clammy one.

 

“So, where were we?” Louis asked his colleague.

 

Harry blinked, in two minds. Back to the surf to play, or go home and hide?

 

He grinned, racing Louis to the edge of the water, a fact that had Louis grinning widely as he raced behind.

 

//

 

Louis tackled Harry into the water; his arms around his waist once more. Harry was quite the escapologist; slipping from his grasp and messily running down the shore; making sure Louis got as wet as possible.

 

They both collapsed in the sand panting as their energy waned along with the sun; a quiet contentment settling over them as they lay side by side and let the last remnants of the day dry their clothes. It was still warm here, even so late. Harry looked forward to the chill of the air-con back at the hotel.

 

“Well, that was fun,” Louis said of their freedom.

 

Harry nodded, his hair getting covered in sand. He suddenly panicked, dragging his hands through his hair as he sat up.

 

“Darn…shoot,” he whispered as he desperately tried to stop the natural curl of his hair spring back.

 

“What is it?” Louis sat up with a frown.

 

Harry smiled lop-sidedly.

 

“I have the worst hair,” he sighed, as if genuinely remorseful of this fact. As if sharing this burden of his awful hair somehow burdened Louis, too.

 

Louis flicked his eyes over the dark strands, now straight and long with wet.

 

“It looks okay to me…”

 

“No, you don’t get it,” Harry sighed. “It’s curly. Like mega-curly and I just-” He sighed again.

 

“You just?” Louis questioned.

 

“I just try so hard to stop it…I shouldn’t have gone in the water…”

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Louis burst out then, astounded.

 

Harry’s eyes widened.

 

“Erm…”

 

“You just had an amazing time in those waves and you’re sitting here worrying about your _hair_?” He checked.

 

Harry gulped. Of course it sounded silly, it _was_. That was the nature of his anxiety, though, worrying about silly things. Silly things that nobody else could possibly understand. Louis shouldn’t really be expected to get how Harry could ruin his whole evening with that one stupid fixation, but that’s what he did; it was just part of his self-hate, his belief he didn’t deserve any good in his life.

 

Harry felt tears prick the backs of his eyes and he swallowed hard to stop them, balling his fists against his knees as he struggled to keep his demons in. Yes, he was a fucking princess, he didn’t know why Louis bothered to defend him really when it was so obvious.

 

“Oh, Haz,” Louis’ soft voice startled Harry into realising he had started to cry and then he felt Louis’ arms envelope him, pulling him close, into a hard, protecting body.

 

Harry’s head fell against his chest and Louis’ arms tightened, rubbing down his arms consolingly.

 

“Hey, hey,” he murmured, his lips brushing his now wet; and already-curling hair.

 

Louis daren’t hush him after last time, keen for Harry to express his emotions even if it meant bawling like a baby the way he was now.

 

Harry burrowed into him, his arms going around him to hold him tight as he expelled his upset, finding himself in an awkward moment when he pulled away.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, his voice thick with tears, wiping them away on the backs of his hands as he shifted over in the sand, away from Louis.

 

Louis’ arm stayed casually around his shoulders, grasping there to reassure him silently. He flicked his eyes over Harry, all damp and hair curling in the hot air.

 

“We should get back before your hair dries like that,” he teased.

 

Harry nodded, but secretly he was hurt by Louis’ joke, taking it to mean that he found it amusing that Harry could get upset over something so small, He wondered if anyone would ever understand how Harry’s mind worked- against him mostly, creating problems there that didn’t really exist.

 

“I like it by the way,” Louis said as he stood up, holding out a hand to help Harry up.

 

Harry frowned, shot him a look.

 

“You do?”

 

He was probably the first person who’d ever said that. No-one else really knew the truth. His mother had always kept his hair short as a kid, saying he’d get teased if he grew it but Harry realized now that what she meant was, because of his soft-way of being, he’d get even _more_ teased if he had curly hair, too.

 

“Yeah,” Louis tilted his head, reaching for Harry’s hand instinctively, even though their afternoon certainly didn’t make Harry think hand-holding was now an acceptable thing to be doing.

 

“I don’t,” he grumbled as Louis tugged him up the sand, leading them back to the hotel which Louis ushered him into with a comforting hand to his back.

 

“Thanks for dinner,” Harry said as he trudged down the hall toward their respective rooms.

 

Louis cleared his throat.

 

“Let’s not end it here,” he said, and Harry was surprised by the suggestion.

 

He looked at him , waiting for his alternative idea.

 

“Have a shower, get in your jammies and come into my room for a bit,” Louis said. “I’ll master the mini-bar, we can watch a film before bed…”

 

Harry nodded. That actually sounded really good. Perfect, even. The thought of going to bed now, all alone was a little too much to bear. They had the big meeting tomorrow followed by another day of schmoozing before their flights home Thursday. He’d never get through tomorrow without a little comfort and that just happened to come in the form of his boss and a movie.

 

“Meet you in there,” he agreed of Louis’ plan.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!!  
> Ang

****

** chapter 5 **

 

Harry was clean, dry and wearing cotton striped pajamas as he timidly knocked on the internal door to Louis’ room and ventured in. He’d given up completely on trying to straighten his hair tonight and instead he’d pulled on a wool beanie that Karen had bought him last Christmas in her attempt to make him ‘cool’.

 

He was sure he looked like a right idiot in it, but it was the best he could do to cover his wayward curls in the circumstances.

 

Louis was sat at the table, typing away on his laptop as Harry entered. Harry noted he had a drink beside him which he sipped absent-mindedly.

 

Harry cleared his throat, feeling like he shouldn’t be here, that Louis needed time alone to do whatever business stuff he was doing.

 

“Hey,” Louis looked up with a forced smile. “Look at you…”

 

Harry touched his head shyly.

 

“Had to take drastic measures,” he supplied quietly.

 

“It suits you,” Louis assured, gesturing for Harry to sit down. “Sit wherever you like…”

 

Harry chose a large armchair to curl up in where he hugged his knees to his chest.

 

“If you have to work, it’s okay,” he said then.

 

Louis smirked, still typing.

 

“Actually, I’m glad of the distraction, but I just have a couple of emails to finish…”

 

“Okay,” Harry nodded. “If you’re sure…”

 

“Hm, drink,” Louis suddenly realized. “What’s your poison?”

 

Harry flicked his eyes toward the mini-bar. He shouldn’t really go too hard at it considering their task tomorrow.

 

“Erm…” he frowned, not sure what to have.

 

“I know,” Louis smiled secretly, a mischievous glint flashing across his face as he made Harry a drink- with cocktail-style shaking and everything.

 

“Here,” Louis handed him the creation, which Harry sipped tentatively.

 

He smiled as the pineapple and coconut flavours burst on his tongue.

 

“I like it,” he shared.

 

Louis laughed. “It’s called Caribou Lou,” he shared with a shrug.

 

Harry sipped away happily; content just to watch Louis work, which he did for a while.

 

Finally, he swiveled with a sigh, running a hand down his face which looked like it had aged since they’d got back from the beach.

 

“The consultation isn’t going too well,” Louis shared of his mood-shift.

 

Harry lifted his brows, nearly forgetting about the colleagues who were losing their jobs.

 

“Oh.” He said, empathy flooding him for Louis who had to manage the fall-out.

 

“Yeah, awkward,” Louis summarized eloquently.

 

Harry chewed on his lower lip.

 

“It’ll be okay, you know. They’ll find other jobs…” he assured.

 

Louis nodded. “That prick Simon is being a particular pain in the ass,” he added. “But I didn’t say that,” he tagged on belatedly.

 

Harry smirked.

 

“I think it’s safe to say that on this trip we can be honest with each other and trust it to stay between us,” He broached. “I mean, that’s twice I’ve cried like a baby so I’m hardly going to reveal your secrets to the world…”

 

“I have a lot of them,” Louis countered jokingly.

 

“Oh really?” Harry caught the joke and carried it. “Anything you want to get off your chest?”

 

“I’m really a secret agent with the CIA,” Louis imagined; leaning forward in his seat on the sofa. “But you can’t tell anybody…”

 

“Wait,” Harry squinted. “You’re not with the CIA,” he called. “You’re Batman!”

 

Louis grinned at Harry’s imagination, stunned by the guy he was getting to see behind closed doors. He didn’t want this night to end, literally. But in another way, he knew it had to otherwise the now-curly-haired kid who was curled up in the armchair was going to become way too much to him and that wasn’t something he wanted to face right now.

 

“Okay. Movie channel,” Louis narrated as he found the controller and let Harry select their film for the night. He picked ‘Enchanted’ and Louis had serious misgivings about letting him choose.

 

“What was that about me saying you’re not a princess?” Louis mused as he lay on his back, turning his face to watch the screen.

 

Harry fidgeted about in his seat, finally going sideways and letting his long legs drop over the arm-rest.

 

“Come and stretch out,” Louis invited. “There’s loads of room here…”

 

Harry peeked over, seeing he was right. He went the opposite end of the sofa so that their legs overlapped only from knees on. His rested his legs against the back, twisting to cuddle a cushion to prop his cheek up. He eventually stretched right out so that his feet were by Louis’ shoulder but the other man didn’t seem to mind, hugging his own pillow as he watched the screen thoughtfully.

 

“This is total mush,” Louis complained when a song came on.

 

Harry began to sing along quietly, ignoring Louis’ comment, surprised to find Louis’ gaze on him as he sang off.

 

“You can sing,” Louis said, almost accusingly.

 

Harry blushed. “Naw, not really,” he denied.

 

“You can, I just heard you,” Louis argued, squeezing his pillow as he lifted his head.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“It sounded good,” Louis added quietly.

 

“Thank you,” Harry said, and this made Louis smile.

 

Finally, he could accept a compliment.

 

“Seriously, we’re supposed to believe she’s a virgin?” Louis rolled his eyes at the on-screen capers.

 

Harry wriggled, fighting off the blush that was running up his chest toward his throat.

 

“She might be,” he choked out.

 

“Really?” Louis sounded skeptical.

 

“Uhm…I am,” he ventured bravely, only because he could hide his face in his pillow and tug his beanie down, which he did, nervously.

 

He felt Louis’ gaze on him, daren’t turn to see it, or what look might be in his eyes. Disgust maybe…possibly he scoffed at the idea and thought he was lying. When the moments ticked on and Louis still didn’t say anything, Harry tipped his head to check, to see whether he was still breathing, even.

 

He startled as two blue orbs, intense and direct, were still on him.

 

“Um,” he said, clearing his throat awkwardly, hugging his pillow tighter.

 

“Jesus, Harry,” he sighed out, so softly, that Harry couldn’t mistake the inflection in his tone.

 

He wasn’t disgusted. He was stunned. And he sounded so _annoyed_ , so quietly pained that Harry hadn’t been able to share himself that way with anyone, that Harry almost felt his own heart breaking from Louis’ concern. Never mind that he was the one missing out.

 

“Yeah…well…” he mumbled, tilting his head back to the screen, avoiding looking at Louis.

 

“Why?” Louis asked, genuinely intrigued.

 

Harry sighed out, realizing Louis wasn’t going to let this one drop. He rolled onto his back, stuffing his pillow under his head. He smiled as Louis pulled a comforter off the back of the sofa and spread it over their legs ands Harry took the edge and pulled it up to his chin comfortingly.

 

He probably didn’t want to talk about this, Louis realized from his vulnerable pose, but he just had to know the answer, he just had to. Although he tried not to examine the reasons why too hard.

 

“I just never… _did_ ,” Harry said softly by way of explanation.

 

“But you’ve had boyfriends?” Louis asked.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“And you’ve kissed and-”

 

“Other stuff,” Harry interrupted him to confirm with a blush.

 

Louis found it hard to believe Harry got through anything sexual the way he blushed even thinking about it but then it was one of things he found most attractive about him.

 

“Then..?” he frowned, clearly not understanding the concept.

 

Harry swallowed. He supposed he should tell the whole truth since they were here and having this conversation, certainly a conversation he never imagined having with his boss of all people.

 

“Look, it was mostly straight guys, okay?” He sighed. “They could see I was a princess and they liked the idea of it with a guy but they didn’t want anal,” he spat out, his candidness once again surprising Louis.

 

Sometimes Harry revealed this edginess that he never expected and he wanted to encourage him to be more open; although he sensed his softer side was the one that usually won out.

 

“They weren’t straight if they wanted you, Harry,” Louis murmured.

 

“Well, they went back to their girlfriends, put it that way,” Harry shared, feeling mortified at his revelation.

 

Now Louis knew exactly how abhorrent he was, how undesirable, that he could only pull guys who didn’t want to admit their sexuality and only wanted him for the night.

 

“Hardly boyfriends,” Louis added, not to argue with Harry’s interpretation of the word, but to criticize those men who had treated him so badly.

 

“No, I suppose not,” Harry agreed softly, turning on his side to curl up instinctively, the memories of those dalliances bringing him down.

 

“Hey, don’t you dare,” Louis called suddenly, his voice firm.

 

Harry felt him wriggle around at the other end of the sofa until he was leaning across his body slightly; nearly behind him, spooning if he relaxed his body with the intent to do so.

 

“Don’t what?” Harry asked.

 

“Don’t go thinking this is your fault,” Louis stated knowingly. “Okay, you let these guys do this, knowing they wouldn’t be in for the long run, but I guess you have your reasons for that, maybe you’re scared or whatever, but don’t you dare think it’s because you’re not good enough for more. You deserve hearts and flowers, Harry, okay? Hearts and flowers,” he finished emphatically.

 

“Okay,” Harry agreed tiredly.

 

The movie was over, the room was too quiet.

 

“Fuck, look at you,” Louis sighed with exasperation and Harry twisted his neck to look at Louis behind him; he was still resting on his side.

 

“Look at me, what?” Harry frowned.

 

Louis shook his head.

 

“I can’t even say it,” he mused. “I’d get in so much fucking trouble…”

 

Harry pouted his lips, unknowing that Louis would gaze at them longingly, making them tingle, making _him_ tingle, all over, if truth be known. The feeling that someone wanted to kiss you…it was an aphrodisiac, a warming pull and Harry knew he’d had the urge to kiss his boss several times before tonight but this moment was the closest he was ever going to come to _actually_ doing it.

 

“Don’t worry,” Harry assured huskily as he laid his head back down, the moment over, ended by his own self-doubt. “I’m fine, really…”

 

“Stupid fucking idiots,” Louis swore vehemently. “I’d never go back to a fucking girlfriend after kissing you…”

 

Harry smiled at his protectiveness, ignoring the tug in his groin. He absolutely would not believe that Louis had said that meaning it. He was just being nice, being a pal, being a good boss, even…

 

“Fucking idiots,” Louis echoed as he moved about again and Harry realized he was settling behind him, although not spooning him the way he had thought of earlier.

 

He moved onto his back, wondering if Louis would use his shoulder to rest on again. He waited until he’d turned the lights off as they settled into sleepiness.

 

“May as well sleep here, huh?” Louis murmured, speaking aloud the thoughts Harry had in his head.

 

Harry nodded. “May ‘swell,” he mumbled tiredly.

 

“If it’s not too familiar,” Louis added tritely, ridiculing his own flaws.

 

“Far too famil’ar,” Harry agreed dozily.

 

Louis let out an amused breath, using Harry’s shoulder as a resting place for his head.

 

“Well, we both know I’m good at that,” he sighed.

 

Harry nodded, finally letting his eyes close.

 

//

 

When he woke up, it was to find Louis curled into his side. Considering he was the princess here, he felt decidedly like the protector, his arm having worked its way around Louis’ shoulders- which although were wide and strong, were still smaller than his own.

 

Louis’ chestnut hair was stuck to his lips and he gently spat it out; raking gentle fingers through it to subtly tidy it; his own still hidden beneath his beanie.

 

Louis had worn a t-shirt and boxers to ‘bed’ and Harry berated his own choice of full cotton pajamas in comparison. He really needed to get out of the fifties, he mused. No dork was ever going to fancy him like this.

 

He sighed, his breath fluttering through Louis’ hair and he curled his arm that little bit more; relishing the feel of the form next to him for the few moments he had before they had to wake up. Louis wouldn’t know and it was only platonic besides, so really, what was the harm?

 

Harry didn’t feel like he and Louis were boss and PA right now, he felt more like they were friends. Good friends. Possible very good friends, if he had an ounce of sexiness about him. Jesus, he really had no hope he realized. Maybe he was destined to be a virgin forever, destined to be alone. He really hoped not, he realized sadly.

 

Louis twitched in his sleep and Harry froze, his one moment of co-ordination and normality threatened. He felt Louis burrow into his throat and settle against him once more and he sighed out.

 

This was what he wanted, he realized, this, with bells on. With hearts and flowers.

 

He smiled as he remembered Louis’ words, strong and sure. Yes, Harry deserved hearts and flowers. He might actually be beginning to believe it, too.

 

//

 

Waking up wasn’t as awkward as it might have been had Harry actually stayed on the sofa with Louis under his arm, pressed nicely into his side.

 

Instead he’d slipped out before Louis could wake, keen to have a shower and get dressed; and have time to do his hair before the meeting was due.

 

He woke up Louis by getting reception to call him and made sure he was presentable before he knocked on Louis’ door, intending to head down for breakfast.

 

“Come in,” Louis called after Harry’s knock and Harry drifted in, his usual awkward self.

 

His hair was straight, set, his glasses in place. He was wearing his best dress pants with smart shoes, a pale green shirt, grey stone effect suit jacket and a black bow-tie. He peeked at Louis who was wearing black suit trousers and nothing else.

 

“Running late?” Harry managed to force out, even though it sounded husky to his ears.

 

He tried not to stare as Louis’ torso drifted to and fro; clearly panicking at the last hour, something Harry oddly didn’t feel.

 

“Not late, just nervous,” Louis admitted.

 

Harry counted up his tattoos. He had lots across his shoulders; on his upper arms, some on his back, at the top on his shoulder blades and lower down, by the dimples in his lower spine.

 

“You like ink,” Harry said to try and break the tension.

 

Louis distractedly tugged on a shirt, shooting Harry a confused look.

 

“What am I doing?”

 

Harry smirked and approached, calmly buttoning up Louis’ shirt for him, even going as far to reach for his cufflinks to fix them in place, then adding his tie and adjusting it. He let Louis tuck in his shirt and slip on a jacket.

 

“Thanks,” Louis frowned, obviously unsettled by this role reversal. “Why aren’t you freaking out?”

 

Harry shrugged. “Did mine yesterday,” he said.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“I hope you don’t mind, I ordered the food to come up here. I’m not entirely sure I won’t throw it up again and I didn’t want to scare the other diners…” he murmured.

 

Harry bit his lip.

 

“You’re going to be amazing, Louis,” he said then, clear and firm.

 

Louis shot him a look, stretched a thankful smile across his lips.

 

“Thanks,” he responded, moving toward the door as room service knocked.

 

Three trolleys were brought in, showcasing a selection of the entire buffet including hot, cooked food and continental selection along with fruits and yoghurts.

 

“I asked for everything,” Louis apologized. “I didn’t know what you liked…”

 

Harry smiled. “Everything,” he assured, sitting at the table once he’d made his selection from the makeshift buffet.

 

He had chosen eggs, bacon, sausage and hash browns; keeping a banana to one side for before they left.

 

“Hungry little mite, aren’t you?” Louis teased of his appetite as he took a lighter option of granola and yoghurt.

 

“Less of the little,” Harry grumbled good-naturedly.

 

“Hungry giant doesn’t sound as complimentary,” Louis pointed out.

 

“How about just hungry?” Harry suggested.

 

Louis tilted his head. “Should have gone with that,” he agreed.

 

Harry smiled at him, enjoying his food. That is until Louis cleared his throat and Harry knew he was going to broach the subject of them falling asleep together; and he dreaded to think what Louis might have to say about it, because he’d been dreading it all morning and truth be told, it might even be the reason he was no longer nervous about the presentation because really, nothing mattered as much as what Louis was about to say.

 

“So, I have a feeling that I crossed the boundaries last night,” Louis broached. “I can’t blame it on alcohol or sunstroke,” he mused with a shrug. “So I blame it on the fact I am wholly inappropriate with my staff.”

 

“So you keep saying,” Harry muttered, half-annoyed at his cop-out.

 

Harry had actually had a really good evening; even if it was just on a platonic level and it annoyed him that Louis was trying to find something to blame it on, the reason he was so at ease. Harry wanted to be the reason that Louis was at ease, he wanted to be the only member of staff Louis would be inappropriate with. Only he couldn’t say that, could he? Not now and not anyway because it was a minefield to go there.

 

“I thought we were friends now,” Harry said as Louis remained silent. “So if I’m just staff then, well, don’t worry about it, last night was a one off, yeah?”

 

Louis winced at the way Harry said ‘just staff’, taking a deep breath into his lungs and letting it out again.

 

“Of course you’re not just staff, I told you that,” Louis offered softly. “I just wanted you to know that I shouldn’t have fallen asleep like that last night…with you…”

 

 _In my arms?_ Harry added wryly, his brows lifting with his silent question that hung in the air despite him not actually having spoken it aloud.

 

He just nodded to acknowledge the words, not wanting to cause imbalance when they had a presentation to perform in a matter of hours.

 

“Good,” Louis said in that way he did.

 

“Guess we should go,” Harry offered.

 

Louis nodded, putting a finger up, dashing to the bathroom where Harry heard him throwing up. So much for breakfast, he mused.

 

He wandered toward the bathroom with a glass of water, opening the door gently and kneeling down beside Louis, rubbing his back as he wretched.

 

“This is beyond your job description,” Louis panted as he brought his head up out of the toilet bowl.

 

“Shut up and sip this,” Harry handed him the glass, tempted to move his hair out of his face but resisting the urge.

 

Louis frowned at Harry’s sudden bossiness.

 

“There’s a real nasty side to you, Styles,” Louis teased.

 

Harry smiled, dimples and all. “Get used to it.”

 

“What, you’re only horrible to people you sleep with?” Louis accused.

 

“Yup,” Harry nodded, standing.

 

“Hmm,” Louis mused, still sipping his water dutifully and he stood, flushing the toilet and checking himself for vomit.

 

“Let’s go before you’re sick again,” Harry decided.

 

“Thanks,” Louis derided as he followed him out.

 

//

 

Louis was grateful for Harry’s momentary calm, because once they reached the boardroom, he slipped back into professional mode and Harry began to get nervous.

 

He was still far more at ease than he would have been a few weeks ago when Louis first joined but still, Louis knew Harry would still struggle until he really believed in himself. He hoped that getting rid of Simon would be part of that evolution; the same way as getting rid of Jack was.

 

As he began his presentation, he went through it with the ease he could feign, flicking looks to Harry as his part came up and Harry dutifully handed out his brochures, smiling and blushing in that engaging way Louis was beginning to like way too much.

 

“Ladies and gentleman, please take a moment to peruse the high-end brochure we plan to provide to all major outlets and of course we have a range of customer paraphernalia to release in line with this…” Louis said, taking a mouthful from the water bottle Harry produced for him.

 

“You haven’t tripped,” Louis murmured, making Harry smile, his objective accomplished.

 

“There’s still time,” Harry murmured back, taking a seat as the room fell quiet, the brochure fully discussed by the participants in the room.

 

“Solo Surfboards are very interested to work with you, Mr. Tomlinson,” Greg Adams, one of the directors spoke.

 

Louis lifted his brows.

 

“I’m pleased to hear it…”

 

“But we have some conditions,” he hedged.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Alright…”

 

“Mr. Styles is to be part of your team on our campaign,” Greg stipulated, making Harry startle in surprise. They knew his name. Holy Jesus, no-one had ever remembered his name before…he frowned. Or maybe Jenna just hadn’t introduced him properly the way Louis had.

 

“Done,” Louis agreed easily.

 

“The artwork is incredible,” Greg added. “The designer still works for you?”

 

“Karen Black,” Louis nodded. “She’s on my team.”

 

“We want to shoot a commercial in England, Australia and California,” he added. “The market is strongest and we’ll theme it…”

 

Louis nodded.

 

“All things I can deliver,” he promised.

 

Greg stood.

 

“Then we’ll see you at lunch tomorrow to talk over the particulars,” he suggested.

 

Louis nodded, letting out a breath as he grinned and moved to shake his hand.

 

“You won’t regret it, Mr. Adams,” he assured.

 

Greg turned his brown gaze toward Harry.

 

“I would like to work closely with you on this,” he said.

 

Harry fidgeted shyly. “Okay…” he agreed cautiously.

 

“Will you be coming to the lunch tomorrow?”

 

“I will, sir,” he agreed.

 

“Good, I want you to sit by me so you can tell me all of your ideas...”

 

Harry glanced at Louis. Louis blinked passively.

 

“Alright,” Harry agreed, not seeing any reason to say no.

 

As the room emptied, both men let out a relieved sigh. They peeked at each other and then shouted ‘yes!’ in unison, tightly hugging each other for a brief moment.

 

“We did it!” Louis pulled away, running a hand through his long hair.

 

“He likes my ideas!” Harry echoed.

 

“He likes _you_ ,” Louis suggested with a smirk.

 

Harry rolled his eyes. “We both know that’s ridiculous…”

 

Louis chewed his lip, wanting to warn Harry about the director but he didn’t want to be that guy to Harry- the guy that tried to fence him in. No, it was up to Harry to find out that yes, actually he was attractive to guys and actually, not all of them had genuine motives. He would step in should Greg try and over-step the mark, he decided.

 

Not that he had any place to step in of course, other than being Harry's boss…and friend, naturally. Yes, his friend. A good friend would protect his friend, wouldn’t he, he reasoned? Yes, of course.

 

He gathered up his things in a quiet bubble of awe, not sure how to react to the success of the day. Harry was preening his hair as Louis joined him at the door.

 

“Well, we’re done until tomorrow so you should go and enjoy the rest of the day,” Louis suggested.

 

Harry chewed his lip. “We have to make a storyboard, don’t we? For tomorrow?”

 

Louis flicked him a look. “I can manage that if you want to get out and about…”

 

Harry shrugged. “Not much point on my own.”

 

Louis smiled at him, his eyes crinkling in fondness.

 

“Well, if we work on it together we’ll save time and can go out later,” he offered by way of a compromise.

 

Harry grinned. “I want to try out the pool…”

 

“I expect they’ll have the pool bar open tonight,” Louis assured.

 

“Oh, and our massages,” he remembered.

 

“And Jacuzzi,” Louis twinkled.

 

Harry blushed.

 

“Why don’t we go down to the pool for drinks and then use the spa treatment after, relax us before bed? We can have a champagne toast in the Jacuzzi,” Louis decided.

 

Harry nodded, on board with his idea.

 

“I like your style, Tomlinson,” he grinned.

 

//

 

Harry was wearing lavender swim shorts; which would have looked almost ridiculous on anybody else in the pool, but as Louis watched him jump in the pool, swim to the edge, climb out, run back around like a big five-year-old, only to jump back in again, he found his lips curving upwards in a reluctant smile. He could literally wear anything, he decided, and not look silly.

 

Harry’s hair was wet, straightened with the weight of water and long. His eyes were huge, his smile to match.

 

Louis forgot about the sometimes tense, introverted Harry he’d met back in England and marveled at this revelation. He was loving it out here, he could tell. He briefly wondered if he would take up a job here, after all.

 

Louis had chosen simple black swim trunks himself and he leaned on the bar with a rum on the rocks; watching the action and content not being part of it.

 

Harry had found a group of kids playing water games and had infiltrated the gang with ease; becoming one of them as he played. The kids were delighted by the grown up playing with them, eyeing him like an idol, a god in their world.

 

“So, it’s love,” a voice said to Louis and he lifted his brows, dragging his gaze from Harry towards the speaker.

 

It was a blonde man, in his mid-twenties, very muscled and poser-ish. Louis tried not to wrinkle his nose.

 

“Love?” Louis asked, not a clue what he was talking about.

 

The blonde nodded to where Harry was now in charge of a water-gun, shooting his delegates to excited squeals.

 

“Oh,” Louis frowned. Love? Hardly…

 

“Or not,” The blonde’s brows lifted in question, clueing Louis off to the fact he was actually interested in Harry himself.

 

He didn’t know why but he felt like lying and saying yes, it was love, most definitely.

 

“Er, you like him?” Louis managed to steer the conversation away from himself.

 

The blonde shrugged. “I could ruin him, happily,” he grinned.

 

Louis bristled. He blinked his long lashes down to his cheeks, his body tensing protectively. Harry was this big, loveable oaf but his body was so tall, muscled and lush, he didn’t wonder why other guys saw what he saw- a princess who could be introduced to the pleasures of the flesh. But he knew Harry hated that term, and all that came with it so he frowned at the other guy’s words.

 

“He tops,” Louis said nonchalantly, throwing the remark out there with a secret smirk.

 

“No way,” the blonde choked on his mouthful of drink.

 

Louis nodded with a sigh. “Yep…”

 

“You?” blonde frowned.

 

Louis pressed his lips together with another nod. “Sometimes he let me,” he sighed. “But really, I couldn’t pretend to be a bottom any longer…”

 

“But you’re here together,” the blonde observed.

 

Louis took his chance to grin.

 

“I’m letting him believe he’s won,” Louis shared. “Tonight he might hate me, though…”

 

The blonde regarded Louis with a stunned look.

 

“Lucky bitch,” he murmured of Louis’ plan, heading off, which was Louis’ _actual_ plan.

 

“Who was that?” Harry asked breathlessly, having bounded up without Louis seeing.

 

Louis smirked as Harry dripped on him, his eyes alight and his youth shining off his face.

 

“Some guy,” Louis shrugged. “I think he liked you…”

 

Harry frowned bemusedly. “You think?”

 

“Until I told him you topped, that is,” he remarked and Harry let out a loud, unmeasured bark of laughter.

 

“What?” He queried, shaking his head, splattering Louis with water. “Oh, sorry…”

 

“Go play with your new friends,” Louis assured. “I’ll hold back the queues of admirers.”

 

Harry tilted his head in a ‘don’t be silly’ kind of way which Louis tried not to melt at.

 

“Come play with us,” he invited, reaching out to grasp Louis’ wrist.

 

Louis smirked.

 

“You seem to have it in hand,” Louis remarked.

 

Harry let his wrist go gently.

 

“Well, if you change your mind, just jump in,” Harry said, turning back as his audience chanted his name.

 

“Har-ree, Har-ree…”

 

He grinned, splashing the kids with enthusiasm which they giggled and screamed at.

 

“Who wants to play?” Harry asked as he waded through the pool towards his captive audience, Louis watching him with a fond smile.

 

//

 

It was later that they lay, fronts down on massage beds, enjoying the slower pace of doing nothing.

 

“Mmh,” Harry moaned out, feeling tension drift away from his neck and shoulders as his masseuse gently applied pressure right where he needed it.

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Louis hissed, his shoulders feeling like he had bricks in them as his masseuse also tried to relax him.

 

Harry tilted his head to check on him, seeing his tanned little body laid out; training his eyes over his pained face. He propped up onto his forearms.

 

“You don’t look like you’re enjoying it much,” he mused.

 

Louis grimaced.

 

“Everything fucking hurts,” he admitted.

 

Harry twisted his lips. He kindly asked the two attendants to leave, smirking as Louis frowned as his painful treatment stopped.

 

“Where is everyone?” Louis looked up, clueless.

 

“I told them to go,” Harry said, rising off his bed to take the massage oil into his own hands.

 

Louis frowned.

 

“Why?” He asked.

 

“Because they weren’t doing it right,” he murmured, warming the oils between his fingers before he slid them onto Louis’ back; knowing exactly what he needed to do with his hands to ease his pain without making him swear.

 

“Fuck,” Louis hissed, proving Harry’s theory wrong. Okay, maybe he would still swear he amended, but the long groan out afterwards had him smiling in relief.

 

 _That’s better_ , that’s how it was meant to be.

 

“Jesus Harry, did you train or something bec-” Louis gasped, cut off from his words as Harry’s hands created merry magic on his back. He was gliding his fingers up and down his spine, easing some pain there he didn’t even know he had. “Ohh, good, so gooood…” he sighed out thankfully.

 

Harry smiled and let his large hands deftly work into his shoulders; finding the sounds pulled from Louis’ lips as he went somewhat of a turn on. He just prayed to god that Louis wouldn’t look up, or turn and inadvertently see the tent in his shorts because well…that would be awkward, he mused.

 

He worked on his neck last, trailing gentle fingertips over the sensitive skin, making Louis shiver.

 

“You little shit,” Louis cast in mock annoyance, feeling his body react to the stimulation. He was just glad this massage table would hold down his burgeoning erection.

 

“That’s not very nice,” Harry teased as he danced his fingertips over Louis’ neck; smoothing them down his wide, small shoulders and right down his back toward his dimples in his lower spine.

 

“Hmmm,” Louis agreed as he moaned out again in satisfaction, finding Harry’s touch too much to take. He wriggled, lifting his head if not able to lift his body.

 

“Easy,” Harry warned of his sudden movement.

 

“I’m okay now,” he said, making Harry frown bemusedly.

 

“What?”

 

“Pain, all gone, miraculous,” he said.

 

Harry stepped away, surprised. Still, he didn’t want Louis to catch his reaction to him so he hovered just out of his direct eye line.

 

“I’ll uh…just go and change for the Jacuzzi, then,” Harry suggested non-sensically.

 

Louis laughed. “Change into what?” he wondered.

 

Harry closed his eyes. _Shoot_. He hadn’t thought that one through.

 

“Erm…”

 

Louis himself was having trouble with his own body and so he made a suggestion.

 

“You go first, I’ll meet you in there,” he said.

 

Harry let out a breath of relief. Thank god. He’d have time to get his body in check at least.

 

“Okay,” he agreed and turned toward the private Jacuzzi pods that were rented out, slipping into their allocated pod, noticing the bucket of ice with champagne and two glasses beside it.

 

He’d wait for Louis to pour it, he decided. It seemed like forever waiting for him to come, but Harry was glad to say he didn’t have a hard-on anymore by the time Louis made it into the bubbly tub.

 

“Ooh, this is nice,” Louis grinned, sitting beside Harry.

 

He instantly reached for the bottle.

 

“Why didn’t you make a start?” He mused as he unwound the wire slowly.

 

Harry peeked at him.

 

“Wanted you to do it,” he said.

 

Louis gave him a long look.

 

“After that massage, this bottle should be yours,” Louis credited.

 

Harry pinkened shyly. “I could see they were hurting you,” he excused.

 

“Well, I might add it to your job description,” Louis warned.

 

Harry smiled shyly at him, his eyes wide and eager, as if seeing Louis for the first time but in a whole different light. He supposed he was really, they were barely office colleagues by now.

 

“To us,” Louis toasted.

 

“To us,” Harry echoed, finding Louis’ toast somewhat strange, but he wasn’t going to argue.

 

He sipped the fizzy liquid with a languid smile, looking up to where the stars were starting to sparkle. It was getting late, he hadn’t realized how so.

 

“Out here, I can almost forget who I am, you know?” Harry commented.

 

Louis regarded him.

 

“To me, you seem more yourself than ever,” he observed.

 

Harry gave him a wry smile. Their arms and legs were barely touching, just the ghost of contact as the water bobbed them slightly as it fizzled beneath them.

 

“That’s what I meant, really. That I can forget the ‘me’ I am back there…” he said of home.

 

“But that’s you, Harry,” Louis said, not making sense.

 

“What, awkward, shy and incapable of finding a man to fuck me?” He countered crudely.

 

Louis blamed the small amount of alcohol. Even if Harry’s feelings and words were sober and true, he hated that the boy who had been so carefree today was now so bitter.

 

“Haz,” he whispered, a strained sigh out.

 

Harry didn’t know when Louis had started calling him ‘Haz’ but he couldn’t say that he had a care to mind.

 

He looked to him, wondering what Louis would actually say. He watched Louis put his wine glass down, his first measure finished.

 

“Haz, I can name at least five men who want to fuck you,” he offered softly. “You just don’t see it, though. It wouldn’t matter if a hundred guys came up to you now and told you how sexy you are because you’d just disregard it and make excuses…”

 

Harry considered Louis’ words. He was quite right. Which was weird, considering Harry tried really hard for people not to know him that well normally. He wasn’t sure what to say to that to be honest. He sipped his drink.

 

“Maybe,” he said eventually in acknowledgement.

 

Louis sighed and Harry blinked lazily at him, mildly aware that his hair which had been wet but was now out of water was curling around his face messily; an action he had tried so hard to fight before and now, didn’t mind. Louis had told him his curls suited him and maybe he was lying, but the look on his boss’ face right now made him wonder if actually he wasn’t.

 

Because Louis was gazing at him so intently and then his fingers were tracing the spirals in his hair as he moved closer; memorizing his face.

 

Harry almost gasped but he didn’t have enough breath to, it had all but escaped him as they sat there, touching, connected in the smallest way but with their eyes, another story was told.

 

“You’re so beautiful, Harry,” Louis husked out. “And you don’t even know it…”

 

Harry lifted his eyes, green falling onto blue, his soft white skin against Louis’ deep tanned shade; their faces drifting ever-closer as the moment grew charged, magical even.

 

The stars were sparkling now, excited perhaps at the goings-on below and Harry bit his lip, wanting to ask something, not sure he should, He finally released his plump lower lip from the capture of his teeth.

 

“Is that what would get you into trouble?” He wondered of Louis’ words, the ones he was going to say last night and decided against.

 

Louis barely smirked, it was the tiniest hint of a crook in the corner of his mouth and he leaned ever-closer, to the point Harry lifted his mouth to be kissed.

 

“Your mouth is what will get me into trouble,” Louis murmured, pressing his thumb against Harry’s chin, releasing his lower lip once more where he hadn’t even known he was holding it.

 

When Louis’ lips pressed to his, he stopped breathing and drank him in, taking his life-force from Louis’ mouth. It was the shortest of kisses, really and Harry hoped that wasn’t his whimper he heard as Louis pulled away.

 

“Tell me to stop,” Louis begged with a rough husk in his voice.

 

“Stop,” Harry whispered, leaning up to take Louis’ lips this time, having had nowhere near enough of them before. Louis’ hand slid up the back of his head, cupping there to hold him in place, so he could properly devour those plump lips he’d been watching for too long now.

 

Louis swiped his tongue across the lower one, the fullest one, eliciting a moan from Harry that made him stiffen at the sound of. God, Harry’s moan, he thought. Such a sexy sound and yet a loud reminder of his inexperience. What was he _doing_? Harry deserved much more than this, more than some crap kiss in a Jacuzzi bath after a massage with a guy who couldn’t give him what he needed…no, this was wrongness of the highest order.

 

If Harry had whimpered before when Louis pulled away, his strangled groan this time almost undid him there and then.

 

Louis sucked in a breath and slid his hand from Harry’s hair, scooting back in the Jacuzzi.

 

Harry gazed at him, confused and when Louis frowned and shook his head, he couldn’t miss the embarrassed stain across Harry’s cheeks. He blushed at everything, of course he’d blush at Louis’ less-than-smooth exit from that kiss. _Fuck_ , that kiss! That kiss that was addling his brain and sending his body haywire.

 

“I’m sorry,” Louis ground out, not sure what else to say as he stood. And he knew that Harry would be able to witness perfectly well the effect he had on him as he did so, because he was sure his shorts would be clinging to his hard-on and he should be ashamed to be so worked up over one damn kiss, but fuck it, why should he be ashamed? Why should Harry wonder what he did to him?

 

But ultimately, he was his boss and he had to walk away…ultimately that was his decision to make, _his_ responsibility. He sighed heavily as he walked back to his room, brushing a hand through his too-long hair.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are blowing me away with your Kudos!! Thank you so much :D
> 
> you can find me on twitter - angkeats- or write a comment and I'll reply :)
> 
> Ang

****

** chapter 6 **

 

It was a mostly sleepless night for Harry who had become a nervous wreck the moment Louis had walked away from him, leaving him alone in the Jacuzzi.

 

Of course, he should have expected that the other man would regret their kiss, in fact he had been so far into the moment he’d forgotten to be coy and just taken the lips Louis offered with needy abandonment, but he would do well to remember his place.

 

A place that Jenna and Jack and Simon had beaten him into; a place where he felt low and even depressed at times.

 

He sighed as he climbed out of bed, knowing he had to put on a brave face today, knowing that lunch was important for the company and for Louis and himself, too. They may have caught the fish but now they needed to fatten it up.

 

He got dressed and studied his curly, messy hair. He didn’t want to straighten it today, to restrict it. Last night had been a huge step for him – even it was a mistake- by putting himself out there and today he wanted to see what people made of him a little reckless. Although he doubted leaving his curls free was reckless in any degree, he fingered them into some kind of arrangement and checked his appearance.

 

With his hair this way, it changed his whole appearance. He looked young- his age- but he also looked edgier somehow, like he had a little life to him. He wondered if the reason Louis kissed him was because of how he looked now- less like a dork and more like a passable guy.

 

He snapped himself out of his melancholy thoughts.

 

He was still geeky, his hands were still shaking like mad, but he’d do. His fringe flopped down as he headed out of his door into the corridor, aiming to get breakfast downstairs instead of in Louis’ room.

 

Unfortunately for him, his boss had beaten him to it.

 

Louis’ head snapped up as Harry entered the breakfast room and he stood; half a piece of toast in his hand as Harry collected his food from the island before joining him.

 

He avoided Louis’ gaze, feeling his cheeks heating even though they hadn’t spoken yet. If he had looked up, he might have seen the bags under Louis’ eyes and the desperate look in those orbs, the trace of regret in his frown.

 

“Morning,” Louis spoke first, taking the lead.

 

Harry let out an amused breath. “Yep,” he said, almost sarcastically, a trait Louis hadn’t seen in him before.

 

_But then he hadn’t kissed him and ran before, either._

 

Louis sat down gently as Harry began to tuck into his second large cooked breakfast of the trip.

 

“Are you all ready for the lunch?” He asked lightly.

 

Harry chewed very slowly and swallowed, finally dragging his eyes to Louis’. He was about to reply with a smart-ass answer, but something about Louis’ fragility stopped him.

 

He hadn’t slept either, only it showed more on his handsome face. His hair had been fingered-through several times. His eyes looked dark underneath, his body was tense, something Harry had never seen before. He sighed, stupidly deciding to show empathy where Louis probably deserved none.

 

He shouldn’t have kissed him last night if he was only going to apologise afterwards, Harry mused. That wasn’t fair on either of them. He realized sadly that Louis didn’t want him, had maybe just for that moment seen something in a curly-haired kid and remembered what he was really kissing no doubt.

 

“I’m ready,” Harry assured softly.

 

“Good,” Louis said in that way that made Harry smirk.

 

“You haven’t eaten much,” Harry pointed his knife at Louis’ stack of toast, unused butter and jam and the cold half-slice of uneaten toast still in his hand.

 

Louis placed it down, eyeing his fare solemnly.

 

“No,” he agreed. “Not hungry.”

 

“Are you feeling sick again?” Harry asked, automatically concerned.

 

Louis stared at him and Harry dipped his gaze. Yes, he supposed it was weird for him to ask that question. He should just try and be the non-nice guy for once and tell Louis he hoped he puked his spleen up…

 

“Not exactly,” Louis murmured, not sure if he should broach the subject of last night or not.

 

He sensed that Harry didn’t want to discuss it and this was confirmed when the younger lad finished his hungry mouthful. Louis was pleased to see Harry had a healthy appetite and didn’t seem to have lost any sleep over the whole thing unlike himself who hadn’t slept a wink and couldn’t face his food.

 

“I guess we’ll head out after breakfast to find the place?” Harry said.

 

Louis nodded. “It’s about an hour so it’s wise we get a head-start.”

 

“Right,” Harry nodded, finishing up his big plateful. “I’ll go get my portfolio…”

 

Louis nodded, watching him go with a longing in his eyes Harry never saw.

 

//

 

_Fuck, fuck, fuck!_

 

Louis threw himself on the bed and grabbed his phone, dialing a familiar number.

 

“Hey, Loulou,” Niall greeted with his Irish accent strong and strangely soothing. “Thought you were away…”

 

“I am,” Louis bit out, clenching his teeth.

 

“Oh, what’s up then? Bored shitless?” He guessed.

 

Louis sighed. “No, it’s worse than that,” he shared.

 

Niall seemed to catch onto Louis’ worked-up state.

 

“Oh,” Niall said. “What’s happened then?”

 

“I kissed him,” Louis blurted outright.

 

Niall made a noise. “You’re going to hav’ta narrow it down for me a bit, son,” he teased.

 

“Harry,” Louis rolled his eyes on the other end of the receiver.

 

Niall already knew a lot about Harry since Louis had kept him well-informed about his new job and his brilliant secretary and Niall had of course, almost dropped Louis in it when he met Harry by mentioning that fact. It made Louis rather bemused then, that Niall might suggest there was someone else he’d have kissed on this trip.

 

“Ohhh,” Niall drew out. “And?” He asked in the next beat, curious.

 

“And I fucked it up,” Louis stated.

 

“How do you fuck up a kiss, like?” He wondered. “You just put your lips together and hey-presto-”

 

“No!” Louis cut him off, agitated. He looked to his door as though someone might walk in, but of course he was safely locked away. “Not the kissing bit. The kissing bit was…fucking amazing actually,” he admitted softly. “Afterwards. I fucked up afterwards…”

 

“You didn’t sleep with him, did you?” Niall asked suspiciously.

 

“Not that fucked up,” Louis adjusted of his evening.

 

“What did you do, then?” Niall asked.

 

“Walked away.” Louis said, the line staying silent.

 

Niall seemed to huff and puff for a bit, something Louis could picture the blonde lad doing in his mind.

 

“Why did you do that?”

 

“Because I'm his boss?” Louis reminded sharply.

 

“Yeah, but…did you find out if he liked it?” Niall wondered.

 

Louis swallowed heavily. “No…” he husked.

 

“How was it this morning?” Niall asked next.

 

Louis bit his lip, realizing he was doing a ‘Harry’ and he sighed.

 

“Terrible. He looked so hurt. And I didn’t get any sleep and I actually look like a bag of shit right now…” He babbled.

 

“Lou,” Niall interrupted his self-indulgent whinge. “I can bet three packets of Oreos that you don’t look like a bag of shit,” he assured first-off.

 

Louis pursed his lips. “You haven’t seen me,” he murmured.

 

“You’ll survive,” he hard-lined. “As for Harry, what did you expect?” He asked honestly. “For him _not_ to be hurt?”

 

Louis made a pained noise, tipping his head into his free hand.

 

“Come on, Lou, we both know better than that. I met the guy _once_ and I could see he was a sensitive kind…of course he’s hurt. The question is, what are you going to do about it?” Niall challenged.

 

“I even said sorry,” Louis shook his head shamefully. “And I wasn’t fucking sorry, not one bit, but I can’t go there…not again…”

 

Niall laughed. “Louis Tomlinson and his reputation that precedes him,” he mused. “If only they knew the truth…”

 

Louis nodded, realizing belatedly that Niall couldn’t see him, He gave out a soft ‘yeah’ and sucked in air.

 

“Lou, what are you going to do?” Niall asked.

 

“Not to sound rude, but that’s why I rang _you_ ,” Louis mused.

 

Niall laughed.

 

“Bad idea,” he teased. “Maybe the worst you’ve had…”

 

“Probably,” Louis agreed.

 

“You’ve got to talk to him, haven’t you?” Niall suggested. “Find out his thoughts on things…”

 

“I should think he’ll want nothing to do with me if he thinks I’m going to run out every time something like this happens,” he derided dryly.

 

“Every time something like this happens?” Niall repeated interestedly. “So you _do_ like him,” he grinned.

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“I think that probably goes without saying.”

 

Niall went quiet for a moment.

 

“Lou? You _really_ like him, don’t you?” His friend guessed.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

“Possibly.”

 

“And you’re scared, aren’t you? You’re scared of falling for him?”

 

Louis didn’t answer, just heaved in a breath.

 

“That’s why you left? To save yourself?” Niall checked.

 

“Pretty much,” Louis mused.

 

“Oh, Lou, you can’t be selfish,” Niall accused. “You have to think of Harry too, of how he must be feeling…”

 

“Like a piece of shit I expect and maybe it’s for the best because I can’t give him what he needs so maybe it’s better off that he thinks I’m an asshole…” He reasoned quickly.

 

“If you hadn’t already kissed him, I might agree,” Niall commented.

 

Louis groaned, rolling his head back against the head board. He startled as a knock sounded on the internal door.

 

“Louis? Are you ready to go?” Harry called through.

 

“One minute!” Louis yelled back.

 

Niall got excited. “Oh my god, is that him? That’s him isn’t it? Let him in, I want to talk to him…”

 

“Shut up, Niall,” Louis dead-panned.

 

“Oh please, pretty please…”

 

“Good bye,” Louis said flatly, not hanging up.

 

“Hey, wait,” Niall called. “What are you going to do?”

 

“Pretend it never happened,” Louis decided. “At least until this meeting is over and then I’ll make sure Harry knows this whole fucking mess is my fault and not his…”

 

“Lou-” Niall began.

 

“I have to go. Thanks, though,” he appreciated. “I’ll come by when I’m back…”

 

“But Louis-” Niall tried again.

 

Louis ended the call, knowing his friend would kill him for that. He rolled off the bed and opened the door that led to Harry’s suite.

 

“Ready,” he nodded.

 

//

 

Greg Adams had taken a shine to Harry.

 

Louis tried to force himself through the pleasantries required of such a meeting, the more-relaxed lunch being the vital clincher for their deal.

 

Companies such as Solo liked to know the people they hired were nice. They liked to think that their advertising execs weren’t all too-rich stuffed shirts just out to make money, they liked to know that their product was safe.

 

Louis found it an intricate balancing act between being a viable option by making the money the brand wanted and having enough morals to bring credence to their work. Luckily for him, Harry tipped that balance in their favour.

 

“...No, no I definitely don’t see surfing as one of my talents,” Harry was grinning at the Executive of Solo, liking the way he was being teased. He felt at home here, at ease again and it surprised him.

 

“Oh come on!” Greg scoffed, “Young man like you!”

 

Harry pinkened. “I can’t say balance is one of my strong points…”

 

Greg slipped his hand onto his knee. Harry blinked, but didn’t say anything, just frowned unsurely at the move. Greg had been sat beside him all afternoon and hadn’t tried to hide his objective to monopolise Harry. Harry had taken it in good humour; thinking the older man was just curious about him and the half hour they’d spent talking about his newly curly hair had amalgamated his idea.

 

But he didn’t feel comfortable with contact. Not with a work-colleague, not as old as Greg and definitely not after he’d kissed Louis. Because he had. After Louis had kissed him, of course.

 

He sucked in a breath at that memory; his heart beating erratically in response.

 

That had been the best kiss he’d ever had with anybody and now Louis was avoiding him like the plague. As he was, of course, quite rightly so, considering Louis’ escape after their epic moment.

 

He looked up to search out his boss since he came to mind and he quickly sourced him, in a direct line in front of him but at least twelve feet away, chatting. If Harry had believed it, he’d have caught Louis gazing at him from the corner of his eye subtly, quickly flicking his eyes back to his conversation partner as Harry looked about. But Harry didn’t believe it and so he dismissed the ridiculous tricks his mind was playing.

 

No, Louis was just talking and he was just imagining things. He was more than certain the sexy little package that was Louis Tomlinson was deeply regretting last night and all its connotations.

 

Harry cleared his throat as Greg’s hand slipped a little higher on his thigh. He shifted over a touch.

 

“I should probably visit the men’s room,” Harry excused.

 

Greg tightened his grip.

 

“Hm, wait, I’ll come, too,” He suggested.

 

Harry swallowed. _Oh shit._ He was coming to the toilets. With him. What did that mean? Would he try something on? Harry’s wide eyes flicked around, seeking out an escape, a savior, anything!

 

“Everything okay?”

 

Harry looked up. _Louis_. Well, it was all he had right now he supposed.

 

Harry rose.

 

“Bathroom break,” he said, his eyes still wide.

 

“Can’t leave this beautiful boy unchaperoned, can I?” Greg asked Louis.

 

Louis blinked. He cottoned onto the whole situation in three seconds flat. He flicked his eyes back to Harry.

 

“Unchaperoned?” He asked Harry. “Are you being less than honest with Mr. Adams, princess?” Louis asked in a low, quiet voice that he knew full well Greg would hear.

 

Harry dipped his head and blushed from genuine mortification- both at being called princess and at Louis making out they were involved.

 

“No,” he mumbled.

 

Louis sighed, his acting skills taking a test. He lifted his hand and brushed Harry’s fringe away gently, letting his hand drop down to cup his neck in such a familiar way that Harry frowned at it. _How dare he?_ How dare he pretend they were intimate. It was galling, it made him sick to his stomach.

 

“Excuse me,” Harry murmured, pulling out of his touch to bee-line for the bathroom.

 

Greg started to follow, but Louis stepped across to block his path gently.

 

“We don’t like to tell everyone because they make assumptions,” Louis murmured, intimating that he and Harry were an item.

 

Greg’s brows rose and he looked genuinely surprised.

 

“Really, you and he?” Greg asked.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Well, well,” he remarked.

 

Louis hoped this whole episode wouldn’t risk their coup and he took a deep breath before gathering everyone back around the lunch table from where they’d scattered around the room of the restaurant they’d booked out.

 

He watched Harry slope in at the back as the team settled. His hands were in his pockets, his tall frame hunched, and his hair huge and so touchable, he felt his fingers itch with the need to do just that. He cleared the husk from his throat and began his final pitch.

 

When he finished, he got a mini round of applause. Contracts were issued (by Harry), terms were negotiated and two hours later they walked out with a new company on board.

 

Louis wanted to celebrate but he sensed the time was not right, especially since Harry was still mad at him.

 

“He would have eaten you alive if I hadn’t stepped in,” Louis offered as they sat in the back of their taxi, heading back to the hotel.

 

Harry nodded. _Yes_ , _he probably would have_. And he was so fucking incapable he couldn’t even tell a guy to back off, he mused. How depressing.

 

“You should get used to it,” Louis added. “I think a lot of those guys like you…”

 

“Maybe I like them too,” he said then.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

“Maybe you do.” He allowed.

 

When they got out of the taxi, Louis realized why Harry was being so insolent.

 

“I’m meeting Luke down here for drinks in an hour,” Harry said of one of the Solo employees they’d met today. A young, hot-looking model for the campaign. “I’m going to get ready,” he added as he stalked off, leaving Louis behind.

 

Louis nodded. Well, he deserved that, he mused, heading for his own room.

 

//

 

It wasn’t because he wanted to watch them or anything, Louis assured himself as he slipped into the hotel bar and found a quiet, hidden corner to drown his sorrows in.

 

He was wearing black plimsolls, a pair of gym trousers and a vest; his hair held back with a hair-band that Niall had bought him since he’d decided to grow his fringe out.

 

He probably looked more like a down and out than a professional Executive, but he didn’t really care. He just needed whiskey. And maybe to see what Harry was up to, he added.

 

He had found him right away, as though his eyes were trained to see through bodies to find that of the young, curly-haired lad. He downed his first drink and asked the waitress for another. In fact, he paid her a good tip to keep bringing them.

 

Harry was wearing a pair of turn-ups, his converse and a white shirt that made him look so young, so innocent, Louis just wanted to bind his arms around him and never let him go. Still, that wasn’t his place, was it? And it never would be thanks to how epically he’d fucked things up…

 

He watched Harry laugh at Luke’s joke, watched Luke reach out to touch Harry forearm, In fact he’d touched him a total of three times per minute and Louis couldn’t believe Harry hadn’t noticed.

 

Maybe he had, he mused. Maybe he wanted to be touched. Maybe they were going to get drunk and go and fuck in his hotel room before the flight tomorrow…

 

He downed another drink, not sure what number he was on. He frowned as his head felt a bit swimmy. He bit his lip, sneaking glances across the bar again from his hiding place.

 

Harry had moved closer now, the room was getting crowded and loud and Luke couldn’t hear him (stupid deaf Luke). Luke casually slung an arm around Harry’s shoulders, bringing him close as he talked into his ear, his lips brushing the curls there, making Louis sling back another shot resolutely.

 

“Ha!” he thought of the irony, the absolute wretchedness that filled him watching this display of foreplay.

 

He looked up as a couple of girls turned to look at him funny. Holy fuck, had he laughed out loud? Damn great job he was doing of keeping hidden, he mused. He checked Harry. Oblivious. Good.

 

He frowned.

 

Not good. No, not good at all because now Luke was gesturing to the doorway, as though talking Harry into moving on somewhere else- his room probably.

 

Louis bit his lip as Luke disappeared; leaving Harry to sit shyly at the bar, waiting for his return. Harry swapped places and Louis realized they’d both used the bathroom. Yes he should probably do that too, he thought as he slid along the booth seat to stand, finding his balance slightly off.

 

“Fuck,” he hissed, staggering a little.

 

He shadowed Harry and Luke, surprised to see them turn left toward the lifts. So they _were_ going back to Harry’s room, he mused. Brilliant. No, really, he could lay awake all night and listen to them fucking.

 

Louis’ stomach dropped as the realization hit him, hard and fast in the gut. This was Harry’s first time, he was giving up his virginity to this guy he barely knew. He sucked in a breath, an excruciating pain going through his chest that he clutched at, hoping he wasn’t having a heart-attack at twenty-two. It wasn’t unheard of.

 

He got his breathing back and hurried for the stairs, carefully watching Harry and Luke enter his room before he stumbled down the corridor behind them, struggling with his key card for a full five minutes before he let himself in with a frustrated hiss.

 

“Fuck!” he complained, quickly heading to the internal door to press his ear up and listen.

 

He could hear subdued voices at the most. No falling around, no passionate yells. He closed his eyes, remembering Harry’s noises. Remembering how his lips felt to own, how he reacted, so eager and keen. Louis dragged in air as his jeans tightened. He didn’t think he’d ever experienced anything quite so intense before.

 

He clutched his hands in his hair, needing to do something, needing to save him from this gigantic mistake. He paced around the room, thinking hard, wondering how he could orchestrate a non-suspicious interruption and he realized he couldn’t.

 

He might as well just break down the door and go galloping in there like a white knight out to save Harry’s modesty because that would be better than what he had planned.

 

He banked on the door still being unlocked from earlier and twisted it, pushing through to Harry’s room, pretending to be oblivious to his company by staring at his gin bottle from the mini-bar, feigning interest in the words on the label.

 

“Hey, Harry, you don’t happen to have any tonic do y-” He paused, five clumsy steps in, evidently pissed but Harry wouldn’t know it was from his rounds downstairs.

 

Harry and Luke both looked up from the sofa where they sat together, each with an X-box controller in hand. Louis felt like a complete dick. He blinked.

 

Harry wasn’t even making out, not even kissing. Luke didn’t even look like he intended to, either. But what about all that arm-touching, Louis frowned? Why _didn’t_ he want to sleep with Harry, he was gorgeous?

 

Louis frowned at his jumbled thoughts. He either wanted Luke to like him or he didn’t.

 

“Erm, sorry,” he said as the moment grew awkward and neither boy spoke. “I’ll just uh…call reception…” he turned to go.

 

“Louis,” Harry called, having risen to grab a tonic water from his own fridge. “Here,” he held it out.

 

Louis took it in his small hand, noticing the largeness of Harry’s as he did so. He couldn’t explain why his dick twitched at the sight, he blamed the whiskey.

 

“Thanks,” he breathed, turning back to his room.

 

Harry came and sank next to Luke again and Luke winked at him. Harry smirked.

 

“Please, don’t,” Harry murmured.

 

Luke waited until Louis got to the doorway; where he was sure he would turn around one last time to glance at them before leaving. He cupped the back of Harry’s neck and planted his lips upon the curly-haired boy’s softer ones; forcing him into a kiss.

 

All Harry could hear was the soft gasp of surprise from Louis followed by the click of the door as it shut.

 

Luke pulled away with a smirk.

 

“That showed him,” he boasted.

 

Harry tilted his head, worry lining his face.

 

“I don’t like playing games,” he ventured.

 

“Hey, I don’t even kiss guys,” Luke reminded. “Think yourself very lucky I just did that all for you…”

 

“I don’t know why,” Harry mumbled.

 

“Because you told me the whole story downstairs and I’m helping with the next chapter,” his new friend posed.

 

“I suppose so,” Harry sighed, pulling on a beanie.

 

Luke grinned and elbowed him. “Come on, let’s just play.” He said.

 

Harry nodded. _Okay then…._

 

//

 

If things had been awkward at lunch, the flight home was excruciating. Harry spent some of his time texting Luke, finding the other young man keen to meet up again should he ever return to California and he tried to look engrossed in his phone even though he’d been staring at the same message for the past five minutes, not really caring, just avoiding Louis’ range.

 

Louis was pretending to be asleep. Harry knew this because every so often his lashes fluttered and he made a great show of ‘getting comfortable’ before settling down again and he actually found it amusing that Louis felt the need to act like an asshole.

 

Really, he shouldn’t have come into his room last night without knocking. Really, Harry should be mad at him for it. Really, his heart shouldn’t beat hard and fast with the hope that the reason Louis had come in was to interrupt him and Luke. Really, he ought to be mad at Luke for pretending. In fact, there were a lot of things he should really be. And he wasn’t any of them. He was just convinced this was how his life was destined to be. Always interested in the guy that didn’t want him.

 

“Oh my, aren’t you pretty?” a camp-sounding male voice asked as a body passed Harry in the aisle. It was one of the stewards. He startled as he realised they were talking to him.

 

“Me?” He checked, blushing as the guy nodded.

 

“I don’t know, am I?” he mumbled shyly.

 

“Gorgeous,” he assured. “But I’m not allowed favorites…” he added with a wink.

 

Harry smiled back. “It’s okay, I won’t tell…”

 

“Have you joined the Mile High Club?” He teased with a wink.

 

A husky voice penetrated the air and Harry snapped his head sideways toward Louis as he spoke.

 

“On the way here,” Louis lied tiredly.

 

“Oops,” the steward covered his mouth with his hand. “Didn’t realise he was yours…”

 

“I’m not,” Harry said firmly, disgustedly, Louis noted.

 

The guy looked confused. “Lover’s tiff, eh?” he decided. “Kiss and make up,” he winked before he moved on, entertaining the other passengers with his over-familiar words.

 

Harry glared at Louis.

 

“I don’t know why you feel the need to protect me,” Harry commented.

 

Louis shrugged, pretending to go back to sleep. “Helping you out, buddy.”

 

“Helping me out?” Harry repeated, his voice low with anger.

 

 _Yeah_ , he shouldn’t have said that but still, he was glad Harry was finally venting.

 

“And I’m not your buddy,” he added pointedly.

 

Louis opened his mouth and shut it, nothing to say.

 

He still had a hangover, truth be told. And he knew he deserved every single angry word Harry had for him, especially since he’d appointed himself his protector. But right now he wanted to take the last twenty-four hours back and start them over again. Because maybe if he had listened to his heart and not his head, Harry would be burrowing into his shoulder right now and he’d be holding him. Maybe they would have gone to bed together and slept like babies in each other’s arms. Maybe Louis wouldn’t feel the overwhelming panic of both falling for someone and losing them before they were truly his. Yes, it scared him as much to have Harry angry as it did to let him close.

 

He closed his eyes and knocked his head back, feigning sleep once more.

 

//

 

Harry really didn’t think that the first person he’d be calling on landing would be Zayn. But his new friend was probably the best person to talk about this whole thing with and so as he slouched by the luggage carousel waiting for his case to show, he bit his lip anxiously waiting for him to pick up.

 

“Yo,” Zayn greeted.

 

“Erm, Zayn, it’s Harry,” he greeted shyly.

 

“Hey!” Zayn greeted warmly, as though he had picked up originally without checking his screen. “How are you doing?”

 

Harry smiled bashfully at the sudden eagerness in Zayn’s voice.

 

“I’m good…I’m…um…at the airport.” He explained, which really would make no sense to Zayn at all.

 

“Need a lift?” Zayn asked right off.

 

Harry was so tempted to accept, he couldn’t bear the idea of having to get in a taxi with Louis right now, or even waiting for a taxi _with_ him.

 

“No,” he said with a sigh. “I just wanted to meet up soon,” he admitted.

 

“Which terminal?” Zayn asked, bypassing Harry’s decline for a lift.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“Five,” he answered, knowing he was effectively agreeing to Zayn coming to get him.

 

“I’ll be there in half an hour, wait out front,” he instructed.

 

“Okay…” Harry smiled thankfully even though his friend wouldn’t see it.

 

“And Harry?” Zayn said before he clicked off.

 

“Yeah?” Harry frowned.

 

“I’m glad you called…”

 

Harry blushed as he slipped his phone back into his pocket, sliding his eyes sideways to check on Louis. His boss was stood further down the carousel, looking tired and beat. Harry felt a pang of sympathy for him, watching him sway slightly back and forth, obviously feeling the effects of his gin and tonic from the night before.

 

Harry wondered if the champagne had anything to do with Louis kissing him. He really hoped not but then it hadn’t exactly worked out, anyway. He grabbed his case as it came round, heading outside to wait for his friend.

 

Zayn pulled up around twenty minutes later and Harry was only too aware of Louis stood nearby at the taxi rank. He smiled as Zayn pulled up and jumped out, heading straight over to hug him which startled Harry somewhat.

 

“Harry!” he grinned happily, pulling away and blinking. “Your hair looks different…”

 

Harry smiled bashfully.

 

“It’s curly,” he explained.

 

Zayn nodded.

 

“You up for a drink then? Or you too tired?” He checked.

 

Harry bit his lip.

 

“A little tired,” he admitted of the time-zone change.

 

“Come to mine?” Zayn offered.

 

Harry relaxed and smiled. Zayn was being friendly, that’s all. He could see that now, even if he was a little over-zealous in how he expressed his affection.

 

“Sounds perfect,” Harry admitted.

 

Zayn lifted his bag and slung it into his boot, opening the passenger door to let Harry slide in. Zayn winked.

 

“Don’t say I’m not a gentleman,” he teased.

 

Harry nodded and reached for his door, giving one last look to the taxi-queue to see if Louis was still there.

 

Two blue-grey eyes stared at him, intense and forlorn. Harry paused from closing the door, connecting with Louis’ gaze even though he was several feet away and it was hard to make out his features properly. Something about his eyes stood out and Harry sucked in a breath, shifting to face forward, sighing out as he clicked his door shut.

 

Zayn looked across to him.

 

“Looks like you have a story to tell,” he observed.

 

Harry smiled wryly. If only he knew.

 

//

 

It turned out that drinking sambuca shots and laying his head in Zayn's lap helped with the pain of Louis’ rejection somewhat. Maybe only mildly, maybe only for a short time, but what the hell.

 

Harry Styles was not a guy usually found in his boxers, writhing around on a sofa with an equally semi-naked sex-god, being fed alcohol to ‘cheer him up’.

 

He had of course, considered his personal safety here and he decided that any friend of Liam’s was not going to try and take advantage of him in his drunken state. In fact, the reason he was undressed at all was due to his own accident prone-ness and his unbelievable bad luck in spilling scalding coffee all down himself, which he’d remedied by stripping down and throwing his clothes in the wash.

 

Zayn had told him he may as well stay the night anyway and Harry had quickly participated in his drinking game while they watched football. Every free kick and goal let in by the red team, Zayn had to take a shot. The blue team and it was Harry’s turn. Needless to say the reds were winning.

 

“So, come on then,” Zayn grinned. “Tell me why you really called me…”

 

Harry rolled his eyes, wriggling on his back.

 

“S’nothing really…”

 

Zayn laughed. “Nothing, huh?” he nodded in mock agreement.

 

Harry sighed. Suddenly the sambuca was churning in his stomach and he didn’t feel so happy.

 

“Something to do with your work friend staring me out?” Zayn wondered.

 

“What?” Harry asked, knowing full well what he meant but wanting to know how it was that Zayn even noticed.

 

Harry huffed.

 

“He couldn’t have been more obvious,” Zayn mused. “And I told you last time he liked you but you didn’t believe me…”

 

Harry found it was his turn to smile wryly.

 

“Look, even if you were right, he doesn’t want to do anything about it so…” Harry husked.

 

“What happened?” Zayn asked keenly, leaning forward so that he looked down into Harry’s face; his head still resting in his lap.

 

“We kissed.” Harry admitted with a blush. “He said sorry,” he added with a brow arch.

 

Zayn’s own dark, thick brows lifted with surprise.

 

“He said sorry?”

 

Harry nodded and rolled up, frowning as he tried to focus, his head spinning a little.

 

“He regretted it. Understandably,” Harry added.

 

“What?” Zayn asked, his question quick and harsh. “Why would he regret it?”

 

Harry smirked. “I’m not exactly a sex-god, am I?” he derided. “Probably thought I was a crap kisser and he’s right, I am,” Harry mumbled self-depreciatively.

 

He felt a finger and thumb grasp his chin, jutting his jaw up and two soft, soft lips met his; pressing gently for contact; for friction which he lent them by accident as he tried to speak. And then he gave up trying to talk and just kissed; curious to see how this felt with Zayn, his new friend, a guy he didn’t fancy in the slightest. Zayn pulled away, seemingly finished with his test.

 

“Fuck, Harry,” Zayn cast with a swift breath out. “You can fucking kiss, okay?”

 

Harry stared at him, dazed, confused.

 

“And no, I didn’t feel a fucking thing, either,” he added to placate the stunned-looking guy beside him.

 

“Oh,” Harry swallowed.

 

“But believe me, if he apologized for kissing you, it wasn’t because you failed in any way…” Zayn mused, leaning back into the sofa.

 

Harry felt a blush creep across his cheeks.

 

“I don’t know what to say to him now,” he admitted softly, laying back down in Zayn's lap where the good-looking guy slung a casual arm over him.

 

“Is it definitely over?” Zayn asked.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“You could seduce him…” he suggested.

 

Harry made a ‘pfft’ noise and began to giggle.

 

“Maybe not,” Zayn guessed.

 

“He doesn’t want me,” Harry said softly, his hurt apparent as he let his emotions show finally.

 

It was Zayn’s turn to laugh. “You really know nothing about guys do you?” he mused.

 

Harry frowned.

 

“He’s scared.” Zayn explained to his confused look. “And he wouldn’t be scared unless he felt something.”

 

Harry curled up; taking Zayn’s offered embrace.

 

“I don’t know if I can wait for him to decide,” he ventured.

 

Zayn smiled softly.

 

“You don’t have to…”

 

Harry peeked at him.

 

“But you want to,” he realized.

 

“See why I called?” He checked.

 

Zayn rubbed his arm with a chuckle.

 

“I’m glad you did.”

 

Harry nodded. He was too.

 

//

 

It was Zayn’s idea to walk to work hand in hand and have him kiss him on the cheek goodbye. It had seemed like a really good idea, too, until Louis walked past them, obviously trying not to look.

 

Harry needed Zayn’s comfort but he didn’t want it to be at Louis’ expense.

 

He followed him toward the lifts.

 

“Hi,” Harry offered tritely.

 

He saw Louis’ jaw clench and work.

 

“Nice evening?” Louis asked as lightly as he could manage.

 

Harry nodded. He was a little hung-over, not enough to be worried about. His hair was still curly, he hadn’t bothered styling it since Louis had told him it suited him. He hoped the other man would remember that and take that as silent comfort.

 

“Shots, sleepovers, all good fun,” Harry offered. “You?”

 

“Passed out when I got in,” Louis lied. His dark circles would contest that statement, too. “Getting old,” he added.

 

Harry blinked. He was 22.

 

They stepped into the lift together, never more aware of each other. Louis cleared his throat. Harry bit his lip. They were both screaming inside to say something but neither of them did.

 

“If you can type up a post-meeting summary for me I’d appreciate it,” Louis instructed once Harry made it to his desk. “I’ll start an action plan…”

 

Harry watched him go into his office and for the first time ever, he wished he had copying to do.

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank youuuuu
> 
> ang

** chapter 7 **

 

 

It was Karen’s fault, really.

 

Harry looked at himself in the long mirror that housed itself in the gent’s toilets and he tilted his head, wondering how much more of an idiot he looked than he felt.

 

It was dress-down day at work, there were football games showing on TV for the World Cup and the company were allowing employees to come in wearing football kits as long as they paid £2 toward a charity which helped sick kids meet their footballing heroes.

 

There was no way Harry couldn’t get involved in that and he’d begged Liam for a lend of a kit, borrowing a pure white shirt and shorts which fitted him snugly, he noted. But for once, he didn’t really care. His glasses didn’t really go with his new hair and his almost feminine legs looked quite good in shorts, but it was the bright pink tutu around his waist that he was still getting to grips with. Along with the pink bunny-ears she’d toted him with.

 

They were about to tour the office drumming up additional donations and Karen argued that they had to look silly to get people to part with their hard-earned cash but really, Harry thought he got enough ribbing for looking like a girl and now he was only going to be inviting a whole load more. And it was easy for Karen to say that when she looked like a vixen in her red, skimpy shorts and tight jersey.

 

He swallowed, wanting to feel brave about this. He was gay, that much was obvious to the whole office. And now he was flaunting it; promoting it even. And it felt strangely exciting in some respects. So what, he was wearing a tutu, he looked good in it. He smiled. He really did look good in it, too.

 

He took a deep breath and headed out; brushing by Louis who was just heading in. He dipped his head instinctively.

 

“Sorry,” he murmured in apology.

 

“There you are!” Karen exasperated, on the landing waiting.

 

She grabbed his hand and tugged him up the stairs, leaving Harry to dart a look behind him to check Louis’ reaction to his outfit. He’d been in meetings all morning and missed Karen’s makeover. He had a funny frown on his face as Harry disappeared around the corner; not knowing what his boss must be thinking. He sighed. Louis looked amazing in his own footie kit; all toned and sporty.

 

“Are you sure this looks okay,” Harry asked for the fifth time.

 

“You look gorgeous, Haz,” Karen assured, heading onto the third floor and shaking her bucket of change.

 

They soon became the talk of the office; Harry expending some of his famous charm with his fellow co-workers to try and earn more tips for the pot and the pair of them crashed on Harry's desk with a full bucket; Harry doing the honours of carrying it around until he dumped it heavily on his desk.

 

“Wow, we did amazingly well,” Karen grinned.

 

Harry nodded, grinning widely. “I know, I can’t believe it!”

 

“Weren’t you the little surprise,” Karen teased. “All cute and flirting…”

 

Harry shrugged. “S’for charity,” he excused.

 

Karen smiled. “It’s nice that they can see what I see,” she said.

 

Harry nodded, blushing. He fiddled with the hair band that housed his bunny ears.

 

Karen looked up as Louis approached.

 

“Erm…Harry, can I borrow you for a moment?” He asked.

 

Karen hopped up off the desk.

 

“See you later, Haz,” she parted, going back to her seat as Harry trailed into Louis’ office, quickly grabbing a pile of papers he needed to copy as a distraction.

 

The blinds were closed as Harry shuffled over to the copier, slotting his sheets in and setting the counter before turning to face Louis, resting his hands on the copier behind him to lean his weight on.

 

Louis was hovering by his desk, frowning, unsure what to say. Harry flicked his eyes down to Louis’ choice of kit, his shorts and shirt nicely fitted to his small but muscular frame. He had sexy legs, Harry thought. Harry bit his lip, waiting.

 

“I…I think we should talk,” Louis began bravely.

 

Harry lifted his brows.

 

“Really?” He enquired. “You think we should talk?”

 

Louis flicked him a look and Harry realized how cocky he’d gotten. He blushed.

 

“Yes, I do.” Louis mused. “Although it’s probably a little late for that…”

 

Harry chewed his lips in thought. _Yes, it was probably too late_ , he considered…

 

“What do you want to talk about?” Harry asked, as lightly as he could manage. He knew full well what Louis’ topic was intended to be and he was just pushing the boundaries, testing him.

 

He began to regret his decision to be cheeky when Louis moved closer.

 

“About this for a start,” Louis tugged at his tutu. “Not to mention these…” his hand lifted and stroked gentle fingers over his rabbit ears.

 

Harry swallowed. Louis was close to him, so close he could smell his after-shave and see the flecks of colour in his eyes. Blue, grey, a little green, some hazel…

 

His breathing became tight. He frowned, knowing what was coming, wanting to stop it and not wanting to all at the same time. He couldn’t let Louis kiss him again, no way. He’d seem like an easy target, a soft-touch and although he might be, he wanted to at least look like he had some self-worth. He sucked in a breath, fighting to keep himself on an even keel when he felt like he was going under.

 

“Something wrong with my outfit?” His voice came out as a low rumble.

 

Louis’ eyes pinned his and Harry's knew he was prey. Always would be. He could never fight back, never resist temptation. Louis was his predator and he was going willingly into the lion’s den.

 

“Jesus, Harry,” Louis whispered, pained apparently according to the look on his face. “You look beautiful…”

 

“Just beautiful?” Harry arched a brow, daring Louis to tell the truth, whatever it was.

 

Louis’ once-blue eyes became dark; intensified in their stare. His hands bunched up in the netting of Harry’s tutu as he stepped closer; pressing his body to the younger lad’s. He lifted his chin, just so.

 

“You look fuckable,” Louis said then, quiet and honest.

 

Harry gasped, a blush staining his cheeks as his eyes shot to his boss’s. He began to shake his head to deny that notion; knowing his stupid get-up could never be considered sexy in a million years…no way, no h-

 

 _Oh_. He quickly changed his mind as Louis’ hands cupped his face to stop him denying the compliment. He reached up and dragged Louis’ hands back down, wanting to be the first to make this move; at least to be able to blame himself for the fallout later, giving Louis an out.

 

He tilted his head, leaned forward off the copier; blinked his eyes shut and felt the feather touch of Louis’ long lashes as he got closer. He brushed their noses to get Louis to tilt and he did so; leaning forward too; closing their last few centimeters.

 

Harry made sure he pushed his lips to Louis’ first, capturing those thin but lush lips and sucking on them gently. He whined a little in his throat and pressed harder, cupping his neck with his hands to pull him where he wanted him; hold him still, perhaps, he wasn’t really sure he just needed to anchor himself somehow.

 

Somewhere in his mind Harry considered that Louis had planned this, had closed the blinds in anticipation and had planned to bring him in here to do just this; but really, Harry didn’t care so much about being the fly in a spider’s web when he was kissing the spider this way; as though life itself wouldn’t exist without the touch of their lips.

 

“Louis,” he groaned as they broke apart; Harry vaguely aware that he wasn’t the one stopping this. Again.

 

He sucked in a breath in panicked realization, knowing he had gone too far. _Fuck!_ Why did he have to be such a noisy bitch! Why couldn’t he just kiss without fucking moaning all the time? Louis probably thought he was kissing a sixteen year old or something…

 

Louis was panting, grasping the back of a chair for stability as Harry darted a look up.

 

“Don’t you dare say you're sorry,” Harry warned lowly, quietly, hurt evident in his voice.

 

Louis closed his eyes.

 

“I won’t,” he promised.

 

Harry sucked in air, confused, unsure what to do.

 

“I lied before,” Louis said, surprising him.

 

“What?” Harry frowned.

 

Louis looked up. Although he had put distance between them, Harry could see the tell-tale shake in his hands and the bulge in his soccer shorts. Well, at least he wasn’t the only one, he mused. He thought maybe he was the only one that got all excited over stupid kisses for no reason…obviously not.

 

“I lied about being sorry.” Louis admitted.

 

Harry blinked. _What?_

 

“I was sorry because I’m your boss and it’s not a very boss-like thing to do…” he mused.

 

Harry licked his now-swollen lips and bit into the lower one. Louis’ eyes gazed longingly at that lip.

 

“Can you not-” Louis began, and then shook his head. “You have no idea how you look in those damn ears, biting your lip that way…”

 

“Ridiculous?” Harry offered.

 

Louis smirked. He daren’t say fuckable again, he’d get the sack.

 

“More sexy than you know,” he corrected.

 

Harry felt his cheeks flood again.

 

“I…uh…I guess I need to try and not…be so loud…or something,” he offered brokenly. “It puts you off…”

 

Louis opened his mouth and closed it, then opened it again only to close it once more.

 

“Puts me off?” Louis repeated incredulously. “Can you see what you do to me?” He begged, pointing to his soccer shorts where his arousal was pressing; although reducing with time.

 

Harry swallowed. Of course he could see, he could see quite clearly and he gulped at the idea that Louis wanted to fuck him, that his enlarged body part would somehow fill him and _not_ hurt. He lifted his large, innocent green eyes to his boss’s.

 

“ _Fuck_ , Harry,” Louis swore harshly with a hiss of a sigh out.

 

He really had no damn clue, none at all. Hearing Harry’s sounds of pleasure, knowing he was so sensitive to everything, so new to it all. It fucked him all up inside knowing that. If only Harry knew that, he mused.

 

Harry nodded, licking his lips. “I should get back to my desk,” he suggested.

 

Louis gazed at him. _Stay_ , his eyes seemed to beg. But Harry couldn’t, he knew that. This was kiss number two in what he hoped would be a series of many more but he had a feeling he was slightly more emotionally invested than his boss here. Really, Harry would love nothing more than to be wrapped up in Louis’ strong arms and held tight; maybe forever, but all night would suffice. And Louis apparently only wanted to grab a quick office snog when they could manage it.

 

Harry wondered if he was okay with that. His body agreed quickly, his heart was more reticent.

 

Louis finally broke eye-contact.

 

“Okay,” he seemed to agree softly.

 

Harry nodded, still disorientated himself. He touched his lips self-consciously, wondering if anyone would notice. He really hoped not. He left the room with a determined stride; sighing out as he sank into his chair at his desk wondering what the hell it all meant.

 

//

 

Karen noticed something was different with Harry and she had been prying all morning, trying to get him to spill. So far Harry had managed to deflect her emails and questioning looks and he berated himself for being so damn transparent.

 

He couldn’t help it. The idea of kissing Louis again made him smile. And he hadn’t smiled this much in a long time; even if the arrangement was awkward and maybe a little unfair, he still couldn’t help the fact his body pinged with pleasure every time a thought of Louis dropped into his mind.

 

Which seemed to be often, the way he was pinging all over.

 

Louis was late in today and Harry couldn’t help but feel a little niggle of doubt in his mind. Had he spent the night with someone? Was he lying in bed languid and just-fucked, postponing the reality of work?

 

Harry realized his mind was drifting down avenues it had no business drifting down. Okay, he might imagine that Louis was in _his_ bed in that mental image, but he knew that was never going to happen so he shrugged it off.

 

His smile faltered at the thought of never making something real, at least in the sexual sense. He briefly wondered if he could find a better way to lose his awkward innocence and at least be some hope in the bedroom. He hoped one day maybe with Louis but if not then…then he’d never have a hope of bedding anyone let alone Louis Tomlinson.

 

For some reason, Zayn came to mind. His new friend had already kissed him and nothing had come of it. He frowned as he imagined getting naked with the mysterious and sexy Zayn but still…if it meant having a hope with Louis, then he might actually consider it…

 

And then Harry remembered how protective Louis had been over him on their trip, telling everyone they met that they were together even when they weren’t. He wondered if messing around with another guy wasn’t such a wise idea after all…

 

“Morning,” Louis’ warm, husky voice reached Harry’s ears and Harry shot his head up.

 

His cheeks flooded with blood and he was sure that blush had come all the way up his body.

 

“Hi,” Harry greeted, biting his lip and lowering his gaze, embarrassed by his thoughts.

 

“Everything okay?” Louis asked intuitively.

 

Harry nodded, sucking his lower lip into his mouth.

 

Louis paused at the side of his desk.

 

Harry peeked at him out of the corner of his eye.

 

“You?” He asked back, mostly to cover his own awkwardness.

 

Louis cleared his throat.

 

“Uh…yeah,” he nodded, although the action wasn’t convincing.

 

“We have that meeting at two,” Harry reminded. It was a conference call with Solo and included Karen for their start-up campaign.

 

“I’ll email the agenda so you can copy it for Karen and distribute it to Greg and the clan…” Louis offered as he headed into his office.

 

Harry wasn’t really looking forward to speaking to Greg if truth be told and he was even more nervous about Greg possibly mentioning Louis’ lie about them being an item right in front of his best friend because then that really would make things complicated.

 

Luckily for him, the meeting went without a glitch and it was after the long, tiring session that Louis called him into his office for a ‘meeting round-up’.

 

Harry sat and yawned tiredly.

 

“Tired?” Louis lifted a brow, perching on the edge of his desk.

 

Harry blinked at him. Louis had the perfect backside, he’d watched him strut about the meeting room while he energized his words; his well-shaped behind parading back and forth in those chino’s he chose to wear which sat nicely snug on his sizeable ass.

 

Harry was convinced Karen had noticed his staring but honestly, he couldn’t have taken his eyes off him if he tried. If it wasn’t for his backside, he also had a slim, muscled build and broad shoulders that Harry found he had a weakness for.

 

“Yeah,” Harry nodded in reply to Louis’ question, his green eyes dulled and lazily blinking.

 

“Hm,” Louis crossed his arms over his chest, showcasing the muscle there. “What to do…”

 

Harry swallowed. _Really? Now?_

 

He sucked in a breath of anticipation.

 

Louis smiled at him, a slow, naughty smile. Harry didn’t need to be asked. He stood and came closer. With Louis’ arms crossed he couldn’t get close enough. He leaned his chest against his crossed arms just slightly.

 

“What to do,” Harry murmured, like a moth to flame.

 

Louis’ eyes flicked behind him and Harry realized he was checking his blinds were shut, which they were. They always were, now. Harry swallowed, licking his lips.

 

“Any suggestions?” Louis asked gently, a teasing curve to his lips as Harry leaned toward him; showing how much he wanted to kiss him, how much he _needed_ it, even.

 

Harry leaned back, letting Louis uncross his arms.

 

“I have a suggestion,” Harry whispered, lifting his hands to cup Louis’ neck, angling his head and leaning back in to connect their lips; mating their mouths in a nearly-familiar way.

 

Oh god, it was ecstasy all over again, Harry considered as his now-usual moan sounded out at the contact of their lips; his taking ownership even though he claimed to be the tired one. Louis might seem like the uninterested party but his arms slipped around Harry's waist and locked him there; between his thighs where he drew him gently closer.

 

He broke the kiss to rub his stubble down Harry’s neck, hearing his excited breathlessness before he sucked those plush lips again; enjoying every second of Harry’s beautiful cushioned lips as they crashed against his, so soft in their destruction.

 

“Haz…woah….Haz,” Louis panted; dragging his mouth away as Harry arched into him, rubbing their bodies deliciously together, and igniting a flame Louis couldn’t extinguish in his office.

 

Harry stepped back, faltered and almost tripped over the office chair backward if not for a steadying hand that he put out to grasp the frame; as well as a similar action from Louis as he caught him.

 

Harry’s instinct to blush won out.

 

“Shoot,” he whispered shyly.

 

“Do I do that?” Louis asked huskily, holding Harry’s arm even though he was steady now. His fingers curled around his bicep and squeezed gently. “Do I make you nervous?”

 

Harry nodded, sucking his lip.

 

“Why? Jesus, can’t you see how fucking nervous _you_ make _me_?” Louis held up his left hand to showcase the quivering there.

 

Harry darted him a look.

 

“Me?” He asked, breathless with shock.

 

Louis smiled; an amused sigh of air escaping his lips.

 

“Yes, you,” Louis confirmed.

 

“Why?” Harry frowned, confused.

 

Louis sucked in a breath.

 

“Look at you,” he sighed.

 

Harry looked down himself. Still, nothing there to make anyone nervous…

 

“So goddamn beautiful and no idea,” Louis shook his head. “And when I kiss you…when _you_ kiss _me_ …” He had no words to properly explain he realized.

 

Harry’s eyes were wide and gazing; voracious for what he had to say. Louis couldn’t do him justice.

 

“I can’t…nothing makes sense,” Louis finally explained.

 

Harry smirked. He could relate to that.

 

“I make you nervous because of how I kiss?” He checked amusedly.

 

Louis allowed a smile to spread across his lips and he let go of Harry's arm.

 

“Something like that…”

 

“And you make me nervous because-” Harry gulped. _Oops._ Better not go there.

 

“Because?” Louis asked.

 

Harry blushed. _Because you can break my heart_ , he answered internally.

 

“Just because,” Harry shrugged.

 

Louis nodded, chewing his lip.

 

“So you and that Zayn guy,” Louis said then, nonchalantly.

 

Harry found it amusing that Louis mentioned his friend and looked up with a jerk of his head.

 

“What about him?” Harry wondered.

 

“Well, he picked you up, you had shots together, stayed overnight and he walked you to work,” Louis narrated.

 

Harry couldn’t deny any of this.

 

“Yes, I suppose so…”

 

“So are you together?” Louis wondered.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“No?” Louis was surprised. Pleased, too if his sigh of relief was anything to go by.

 

“No, we’re not together,” Harry confirmed.

 

“Oh,” Louis nodded.

 

“You?” Harry asked back, while he had the chance.

 

“Me and Zayn?” He teased, breaking into a grin and a twinkle flashed in his eyes.

 

Harry found himself grinning back as their gazes met and they silently reassured each other that there was no-one else in the picture. Even if this office-kissing thing was about the strangest thing Harry had ever done, he still felt inordinately reassured that Louis wasn’t kissing all his staff.

 

And then he remembered Karen’s email about Louis’ secretaries at his old job. He frowned, not knowing where this fit in with everything going on. Did that mean he was already in too deep, was destined for the sack? He darted his eyes up, thinking he could find the answer on Louis’ face.

 

“What is it?” Louis asked, sensing Harry’s sudden panic.

 

“Erm, nothing,” Harry lied, turning and heading for the door. “Just Karen asked me to think up a jingle for her ad so I should really get to that…yeah, I have to…erm…” He pulled open Louis’ office door and headed out; closing his eyes in mortified regret as he did so.

 

//

 

It was Saturday and Harry was out with Karen, Liam and Zayn when they happened to bump into Louis and Niall as they all headed out of the cinema.

 

After quick introductions, Harry was urgently trying to remain glued to Zayn’s side, but Zayn was too busy falling into animated conversation with Niall to notice his call for help.

 

“So, where you going?” Liam asked Louis as he and Karen walked arm-in-arm while Harry slunk back; tailing the group.

 

“Not sure,” Louis shrugged. “Just aimless wandering, really…”

 

“We were just going back to Harry’s for dance-mat,” Liam shared, turning to look at Harry.

 

Harry scowled.

 

“Invited themselves around, like,” Harry mumbled.

 

Louis smirked at him.

 

“Not up for visitors?” He checked.

 

Harry looked at him, found his nerves calming from the constant blue gaze, found his bad mood lifting. He frowned.

 

“No, I don’t mind,” he admitted quietly.

 

“Well, I understand if you don’t want me and Niall to join you, we’re probably the noisiest dance-mat players ever born…”

 

“Hey, who you calling noisy!” Niall cheered from the front of the group.

 

Harry noted Zayn had his hands tucked in his pockets and turned with a grin.

 

“Anyone’s noisy compared to our Harry,” Zayn winked.

 

Harry gave him a wan smile.

 

“Of course you’re invited,” Harry extended to Louis and Niall.

 

“If you’re sure,” Louis checked as he dropped back a few paces to walk beside Harry.

 

Harry shrugged. “Why not?”

 

Louis watched him for a moment until Harry looked at him.

 

“Does it make things awkward?” Louis asked softly.

 

Harry let out an amused breath.

 

“Depends what _this_ is, doesn’t it?” He asked. “What _we_ are…”

 

Louis nodded, pressing his lips together.

 

Harry realized he didn’t expect to be asked to define their arrangement; didn’t expect to be challenged on it. He felt fear overcome him, so scared of losing any chance he had to kiss Louis in favour of defining their relationship.

 

“I mean…depends if you mind people knowing about us,” he added softly, quieter. “Or if I have to keep it a secret…”

 

Louis frowned then, turning incredulous eyes on his PA. He took one hand out of his pocket and wrapped his arm around Harry’s waist; pulling him roughly into his side; as if this maneuver would explain their dalliance to anyone watching.

 

“You are such an idiot,” Louis muttered, sighing as they walked.

 

And Harry still didn’t know what that meant, what _they_ meant to each other; or how he was supposed to explain to his friends exactly what was going on. But for the next few hours, he didn’t have to so he relaxed in that knowledge.

 

//

 

 

Harry was a better dancer than Louis. He practically glowed with the knowledge; strutting around happily as he hosted his friends in his large house; finding the noise and bustle a welcome change to his normally-quiet home.

 

He’d had the best time dancing with Niall. Zayn had tried to put him off by getting familiar and Liam had been a surprisingly excellent dance-partner. Louis had fared best with Karen and they all had crashed out, nibbling munchies and drinking whatever came to hand while they got sleepy.

 

Harry offered them all a stay-over but Karen and Liam had left first, followed by Niall and Zayn- a pairing that Harry found bemusing as he watched them walk down the path toward the taxi waiting.

 

Harry wandered back into the living room.

 

“Is Niall…?” He asked Louis without saying the word.

 

Louis smirked. “Sometimes.”

 

Harry lifted a brow.

 

“Oh.”

 

“I think Zayn’s well aware what he’s getting himself into,” Louis added, as though Harry was worrying about the other man.

 

“Yeah, of course,” he nodded distractedly.

 

He had just become very aware of the fact Louis was still in his house and showed no signs of leaving.

 

“Do you want me to make up the spare room for you?” Harry asked.

 

Louis shook his head and stretched out on the sofa.

 

“I’ll crash here, if I’m allowed…”

 

Harry nodded. “I’ll get blankets and pillows.” He said, leaving the room.

 

Louis was asleep by the time Harry got back, only a few minutes later. He guessed Louis must be tired and gently tucked pillows under his head and blankets around his body.

 

“…Hmm, love those curls…keep those…” Louis murmured as Harry tucked him up.

 

Harry frowned bemusedly at his words. _What?_

 

“Let you top,” he mumbled, making Harry go rigid. “I’d let you…”

 

Harry sucked in a breath. Why on earth was Louis talking about letting him top? He couldn’t honestly _know_ , could he? Harry’s biggest fear, his deepest insecurity?

 

“Hmm… _daddy_ ,” he husked. “I’d like you to call me daddy…”

 

Harry quickly checked Louis’ face again to make sure he wasn’t really awake and just playing a trick.

 

“Louis?” He checked softly.

 

No, he was definitely asleep. Harry gulped. _Holy fuck_. He liked to be called Daddy? That was… _hot_ , he realized. Would he, he wondered? He blushed just imagining it. He couldn’t help his mouth; his brain as it tested the idea.

 

“Daddy,” he murmured, not as disgusted with that as he thought he might be.

 

“Yes,” Louis murmured in response, startling Harry. _Shoot!_ Now he was having a sleep-talking conversation with his boss! An entirely inappropriate one.

 

“Go to sleep,” Harry told him, hoping this would work.

 

“Hm, sleep with Daddy.” Louis slurred; shifting over.

 

Harry paused. If he got onto this sofa, it would change things between them. They wouldn’t just be work-friends anymore, not just guys sneaking an office snog. They’d be something more, something almost intimate…

 

Harry didn’t know if he was ready to take that step, ready to give himself up that little bit more.

 

“Hazzz…” Louis garbled; still dead to the world apart from his apparently coherent speech.

 

Harry sighed and slipped under the blanket, hoping he wasn’t making a monumental error here, hoping that Louis wouldn’t run again come morning. Hoping _he_ wouldn’t for that matter. He felt Louis shift on the sofa; settling down against his taller body.

 

He wished he didn’t feel a pang in his heart as he cuddled him close but Harry knew better than to wish for that, really. He was already in way too deep with no way out.

 

//

 

 

When he woke up, Harry was in a position he wasn’t sure he’d ever found himself in before. His head was cushioned on a chest; his body curled around another that held him in a tight; protective embrace.

 

He wasn’t sure, but if he had to guess, the weight on the top of his head was Louis’ cheek and his lips may even be brushing his hair.

 

His crazy, no doubt wild-by-now hair.

 

His arm was across Louis’ middle, his thigh thrown over his too. He didn’t want to move for all the tea in China.

 

He felt Louis fidget; waking, too and he silently cursed himself. He must’ve woken him up somehow. He pretended to be asleep while he waited to see what Louis did.

 

He felt him lift his head, as if looking down on them; felt Louis’ fingertips train back his fringe to peer into his face. He felt him squeeze him a little tighter before he sighed out.

 

“Oh, Harry,” he heard Louis whisper, almost sadly, like he wanted to keep him and couldn’t.

 

Harry briefly wondered why before he shifted, pretending to wake up.

 

“Hey, were you awake?” Louis asked suspiciously.

 

Harry yawned. “What?” he husked, stretching.

 

Louis bit his lip.

 

“Nothing.” He mused.

 

Harry shifted up next to him, propping on his elbow.

 

“You asked me to sleep here, by the way,” he explained quickly.

 

Louis nodded. “I don’t remember.”

 

“You were asleep, apparently you make more sense asleep than awake,” Harry regarded.

 

Louis actually laughed. “That doesn’t surprise me.”

 

Harry paused.

 

“I…is this weird?” He checked.

 

Louis ruffled his hair. “It should be, but its not.”

 

Harry shook his hair out from Louis’ messing of it.

 

“I miss the gel,” Harry admitted softly, shyly as his hair fell down over his face.

 

Louis carefully and persistently trained it back.

 

“I still like it this way,” he said.

 

Harry flicked his eyes over his face, taking in his handsome features, his strong bone structure, his tanned skin, and those lips that although looked thin kissed better than most. He gazed into his kind eyes; appreciated what Louis had done for him in accepting his anxiety and helping him to overcome it.

 

“I like you this way, too,” Harry ventured.

 

Louis reached up and cupped his jaw; lifting his head to kiss him; a short and blissful kiss that promised much more.

 

“Maybe I do, too,” Louis shared.

 

Harry smiled back; a wholesome and delighted smile that Louis truly didn’t think he deserved. He watched as Harry rolled off the sofa, a happy grin on his face.

 

“I’m making breakfast after my shower if you’re interested…”

 

As Louis watched Harry’s lovely long, lean body disappear, he knew he was very interested.

 

//

 

Watching Harry making breakfast was engaging. He was all kinds of adorable preparing eggs and bacon for Louis; displaying his rather OCD tendencies in making everything perfect before he served. Louis could only sit at his dining table and wait for the finished product; a little bemused by this new, Happy Harry.

 

Of course, he knew to some degree that Harry’s happiness came from his presence here; from them sharing the sofa last night and he kind of saw why Harry found that activity reassuring; comforting even because he knew how the younger man suffered with his confidence needlessly.

 

But Louis also felt a weight of responsibility. He didn’t want to get Harry's hopes up and promise him a world he couldn’t deliver; he didn’t want to go from kissing casually to full-on romance, but he didn’t have it in him to tell Harry that. His smile was too wide and his heart too big to reign in that way. So he ate his breakfast in the quiet knowledge he had to tread very carefully here.

 

Harry could be hurt by his instinct to run; but his instinct was borne out of fear and Harry had a right to know that, to feel assured that Louis would come back even if he had to escape when he felt confined.

 

He didn’t imagine he’d ever feel that way with Harry; the guy was too cute to feel any kind of suffocated but Louis took his responsibility for Harry’s happiness onto his own shoulders, no matter how unrealistic that might seem.

 

“You make a great breakfast,” Louis offered as Harry sat and hummed as he ate, twisting his body side to side in time with the tune in his head.

 

Harry paused, blushing lightly as he realized he’d been in his own little happy bubble.

 

“I like cooking,” he said in return.

 

Louis nodded. “I don’t usually bother much…”

 

Harry flicked his eyes up; studying his boss.

 

“You should,” he said softly, like he was concerned for him.

 

Louis smirked.

 

“Thanks for inviting us last night,” he added. “And letting me stay…”

 

Harry nodded, dipping his gaze and licking his lips in a nonchalant way that had Louis curious. He was hiding something but he wasn’t sure what.

 

“You’re welcome,” Harry replied gently.

 

Louis cleared his throat.

 

“What are your plans for today?” He wondered.

 

Harry looked up at him with a bashful smile.

 

“N’much,” he mumbled. “Usual house stuff…”

 

Louis nodded. “Your friends seem nice, I’m glad I got to finally meet Zayn properly,” he added conversationally.

 

Harry was wriggling in his seat and Louis frowned at it, wondering why until he blurted some words out.

 

“Do you want to do something?” Harry asked. “Today, just me and you?”

 

Louis lifted his brows. He was asking him out. Wow. That took some guts, he mused. And for someone like Harry, it was all kinds of epic. Louis wondered when he’d become the kind of guy that guys like Harry got nervous asking out. He hoped he wasn’t really that intimidating or unreachable. Hopefully his clambering into the toilet stall had told Harry that if nothing else.

 

“I’d like that,” Louis replied smoothly, honestly.

 

“It doesn’t have to be anything you know…heavy or whatever…I know it doesn’t mean anything, us hanging out and- well last night, it was just friends, right?” Harry gabbled nervously. “You don’t have to think that I don’t know what this is…because I do…I just- I want to do something outside of work, you know? Something different…”

 

“Something different,” Louis nodded thoughtfully, chewing his lip.

 

He flicked his eyes to Harry who was having a mini panic attack and he couldn’t help his fond smile. Really, Harry was so worried about showing him how he felt; about telling him he wanted to spend time with him. And it was all his own fault. He thought about the hundreds of guys that would cut off their arm to spend this precious time with Harry; the guys he’d warded off to keep Harry to himself. He couldn’t just let Harry sit there and believe he was in charge. If anything was going to happen between them, it had to be a joint venture, a mutual benefit.

 

“Do you like sailing?” Harry piped up, surprising Louis completely.

 

“Sailing?” Louis frowned. “I’ve never been…”

 

Harry’s face lit up.

 

“My dad has a boat in the dock, he lets me borrow it. We can take it out…”

 

Louis smiled slowly, widely.

 

“That sounds amazing…”

 

Harry jumped up. “I’ll get ready and meet you at the dock?”

 

Louis nodded, rising slowly.

 

“I need to go home and change…I’ll bring lunch,” he added.

 

Harry grinned and Louis tried not to fall in love.

 

//

 

“Justice” sailed beautifully through the mild waves of the bay; Harry at the helm masterfully arranging the boat just how he wanted it to get maximum performance.

 

Louis didn’t think he’d ever see the day that Harry wasn’t accident-prone but this seemed to be his forte, he mused as Harry jumped about the deck, running to and from ropes and pulleys and whatever else he was managing that Louis had no idea about.

 

He was wearing white swim shorts and a white vest that showcased his milky skin and he’d tucked his hair into a navy beanie to keep it back; sunglasses replacing his usual specs where he’d slipped in contacts for the day.

 

Louis didn’t know which he preferred- Harry in his glasses; or Harry without. He maybe leaned toward the former; loving the way Harry looked up under those frames so shyly at times.

 

Louis was leaning back sipping a glass of his cooled white wine; on the deck sunning himself. He had taken off his top short moments into the trip, left in just his star-print blue shorts, grinning into the sun as the wind flipped though his too-long hair; his beard feeling scratchy as the heat penetrated it.

 

He should have a shave, he thought. And get a haircut. He was starting to look a mess and it wouldn’t do.

 

“Hey,” Harry flopped down beside him breathlessly, his chest rising and falling as he dragged breaths in.

 

Louis leaned over and tugged on his vest.

 

“Take this off; it’s far too hot for clothes…” Louis suggested.

 

Harry’s smile was slow and dimpled.

 

“I’ll burn,” he denied removing his outer layer.

 

Louis sat up, reaching for his bottle of sunscreen.

 

“I have this,” he offered.

 

Harry rolled his eyes and quickly stripped his vest off with a shy dip of his chin and a blush across his cheeks. Most people wouldn’t have noticed it in the brightness of the sun but Louis noticed and realized right away that Harry was shy about his body. He didn’t want to take his top off in front of him. Which confused Louis since they’d been topless before, but that wasn’t alone and together; it was in the pool with kids and distractions.

 

Harry slid his eyes sideways, not turning, but reaching for the bottle shyly. He quickly spread the white lotion over his chest, something Louis tried to watch even with Harry leaning forwards to shield himself and then he was stuck reaching his back.

 

“I’ll do your back,” Louis said quickly.

 

Harry smirked.

 

“I have to get up and steer,” he mused.

 

Louis shrugged. “I’ll do it while you’re steering,” he suggested.

 

Harry got up and went to the wheel, wondering if he’d manage to steer the boat into trouble when Louis touched him. He didn’t entirely trust himself not to. He sucked in a breath, closing his eyes as Louis’ hands stroked over his shoulders in wide circles; running down his spine toward his dimples in his lower back.

 

His breath hitched as Louis’ hands steered just shy of his shorts- band, curving back up into his sides which made him jump as his ticklish spot was sensitized. He gulped, his breaths shallow and faint already and his body buzzing alive with only the smallest of touches.

 

He really needed to get out more, he mused. Get out more and fuck more...definitely fuck more because this was like torture, really, having Louis rubbing lotion in as though he was so concerned about him being properly protected.

 

He felt Louis step closer; felt his body tuck behind his, all warm, naked skin and musky scent. He felt Louis’ hands cup around his hips, shadowing him as he steered the vessel; pretending to concentrate, pretending anything but what was really happening right now.

 

Louis’ hands trailed upwards, ever-so-slowly and Harry bit his lip, knowing exactly what Louis was intending to do. When his firm but gentle fingers pressed into his weak spot; just by his waist, he groaned out loud, closing his eyes and leaning back instinctively; finding Louis’ supportive body there to hold him.

 

“You have to keep your eyes open,” Louis reprimanded softly, reminding Harry he had a job to do here.

 

“I can drop anchor,” Harry replied; thinking that may be the best option to save them having an ugly crash which they couldn’t explain.

 

“This is more fun,” Louis husked; a hint of mischief in his voice and as his fingers pressed into those sensitive spots again, Harry felt his body react sharply; pressing against his shorts as his erection sprang to life.

 

“Shoot,” he swore to himself, annoyed at his inability to last with anything. Louis was going to think he was some kind of hormonal teenage freak and he wouldn’t blame him. Who else got turned on by the merest touches, he wondered?

 

 

He gulped. Louis did, apparently. He’d just stepped closer, still, wrapping his arms around Harry's middle as he brushed his hardness against Harry’s backside.

 

“You’re so beautiful Harry, you shouldn’t be shy about your body, you look amazing…” Louis murmured in his ear and Harry all but bit his lip in two when Louis’ lips fell to his shoulder.

 

As it was, he captured a moan in the back of his throat.

 

“Don’t hold back, let me hear,” Louis begged, his voice rough with husk. Harry pushed back; rubbing his ass-cheeks deliberately against the hard-on Louis was displaying.

 

“Lou,” he panted, shortening Louis’ name in the moment of desire.

 

Louis let out a strangled noise and stroked gentle fingers down Harry’s belly; dipping them ever-so slightly under his shorts and to follow the trail of hair there; not going quite low enough to feel him.

 

“Shh, easy,” Louis murmured, stroking in rhythmic pattern, letting Harry have enough sense about him to keep the boat from veering either way.

 

“I can’t-” Harry hitched, pressing his hips forward as Louis fingers slipped under the band of his shorts, threatening to cause damage, not fulfilling that threat. “I can’t,” he said again, pained.

 

Louis slipped his hand out of his shorts, stepping back; putting them back on Harry’s hips.

 

“You best drop anchor so I can finish this,” Louis suggested.

 

Harry thought he sounded so clinical about it almost, like a man with a mission. They weren’t wrapped up, entwined or intimate lovers unable to resist. They were colleagues sharing a bit of out-of-office fun and Harry didn’t know where this was going.

 

Last night, he’d called him an idiot for asking if other people were allowed to know, but even though they’d been evidently interested in each other, they hadn’t really been affectionate. Harry frowned as he climbed about the boat readying “Justice” for a stop, his body tight and painful as he went.

 

He couldn’t imagine what Louis was going to do when they finally came to rest and honestly, he didn’t know what Louis expected him to do in return. His doubts began to return; along with his awkwardness. Louis would have to teach him, tell him what he wanted. Harry already knew his penchant for being called 'Daddy’ but he knew if he dropped that in then Louis would freak out because he didn’t know that Harry had heard.

 

By the time the boat was moored in the middle of the wide bay, Harry was hunched and vulnerable. Louis watched him walk toward him; frowning at his state.

 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Louis asked, reaching for him, cupping his cheek and slipping a hand onto his waist.

 

“S’nothing,” Harry shook his head sadly.

 

“Of course it’s not nothing,” Louis denied. “Talk to me…”

 

Harry sighed.

 

“Oh, Harry,” Louis said, in that way he always did that made Harry want to cry.

 

They’d just been enjoying the most sensual moment, a prelude to something decidedly hot and all Harry could think about was how he was going to completely fail at satisfying Louis in the way he evidently planned to satisfy him.

 

He felt himself being wrapped into strong arms, his cheek falling to a wide shoulder where he burrowed in; kissing Louis’ neck in apology.

 

“Jesus,” Louis sighed; tightening his hold; Harry’s bigger body almost too much for his small arms but he didn’t care. He’d stretch as far as he could to hold him. He stroked his hair, wondering what had started this off, what had made Harry melancholy.

 

A moment ago he’d had his hand down his shorts and they were both sporting strong reactions to that particular foray. Had he gone too far, too soon? Was Harry not comfortable with being touched? Was Louis not the guy he wanted touching him, even?

 

He shifted his footing as Harry slipped his arms around his waist and clung on, sighing out heavily into his hair.

 

“You don’t need this,” Harry said lowly, depressed-sounding.

 

“I actually like hugs,” Louis responded lightly, making Harry smirk despite himself.

 

“Shut up,” he bemused as he pulled away.

 

“It’s true,” Louis cupped his arms just above his elbows.

 

“C’mon, Louis,” Harry rolled his eyes.

 

“What?” Louis arched a brow in challenge.

 

“We were about to get each other off and I ruined it,” Harry derided. “Again.”

 

Louis blinked. “I was about to get you off, you mean,” Louis corrected, wondering if this was Harry’s problem. “Why did you feel like you had to get me off, too?”

 

“It’s polite,” Harry shrugged one despondent shoulder up.

 

Louis barked out with laughter.

 

“Jesus Christ,” he hissed, amusedly. “Harry, if I could kiss you right now, I would,” he mused.

 

Harry blinked. What was so funny? Why would he want to kiss him, he was being a dick? He swallowed, big doe-eyes under his sunglasses. Louis reached forward and slipped them into his hair.

 

“I had to see you,” he explained with a smirk.

 

“Why?” Harry sulked.

 

“Because you have these eyes…and that mouth all pouty…” Louis shook his head.

 

Harry frowned harder. Great. Louis found it hilarious he was upset and moody and he wanted to kiss…Just great. Wait… _what?_

 

Louis cupped his jaw and just went for it; not waiting for Harry to argue. He gently sucked Harry’s slightly-protruded lower lip so slowly; with such tenderness that Harry couldn’t help but respond in kind; brushing his lips back against those that kissed him.

 

His hands came up to lose his fingers in Louis’ hair; his body leaned back against the steering wheel as Louis pressed closer; wrapping him up once more in his strong arms; around his waist this time, squeezing for effect.

 

Harry didn’t know how much time they spent like that, kissing lazily but with such meaning; he felt like the sun could go down and the moon could rise and it wouldn’t mean anything compared to the feel of Louis’ lips. He didn’t know what it was, but something magical happened when they came together. They were no longer boss and PA, no longer two young guys veering through the tough world of advertising and other things besides. They were more than that, more than anything Harry had ever experienced really; and he quickly took advantage of the flash of heat that shot to his groin; slipping his hands down Louis’ back to squeeze his ass; the generous flesh there a pleasure to finally grasp.

 

He groaned; slipping his tongue against Louis’ lower lip, deepening their kiss; begging for more and he got it as Louis grasped the back of his head with one hand, gently cupping his hair while his other followed Harry’s suit and curved around one of Harry’s buttocks; also squeezing in fondness.

 

Harry’s noises were eaten by Louis as he devoured him, gripping his curls in his hand gently, resisting the urge to tug.

 

“Do it,” Harry panted as he ripped his lips away; too far gone to care, to notice anyone around them or anything. All he wanted; needed, was this. Them, like this, so close, hard and wanton; pressing together; their mouths communicating without words.

 

Louis kissed him again, slower again, gentle this time like how he started. And then he tugged; ever-so-gently at Harry’s curls that sat under his beanie and Harry let out a low, throaty noise, tipping his head back to expose his throat as it all became too much.

 

“Very nice,” Louis husked, running delicate fingers down the column of Harry’s throat, taking advantage of his submission as he kissed his way down that skin, too; hardly able to resist pressing his teeth there, where he knew Harry would like it.

 

Harry’s hips bucked up; his arousal clashed with Louis’ and he cried out; such a needy little sound that had Louis rock-hard and wanting more. He bit again, sucking gently, knowing he was going to leave a mark but right now he didn’t care all that much. Harry was clinging to him; grasping him as though his life depended on this pleasure, on him being the one to give him this moment; this mark of passion.

 

Louis released the tender skin from his teeth, Harry’s breathing too wild and shallow to even let him make a noise.

 

“ _Shoot_ …Louis…Lou…” he panted, clinging to his shoulders; needing something to keep him upright.

 

“Shh…” Louis soothed him; hugging him close, cupping the back of his head.

 

“It hurts…damnit, I need to-”

 

Louis inched back and pressed the heel of his hand to the front of Harry’s shorts; watching as the younger man’s face contorted with pleasure and pain.

 

“Here?” Louis checked huskily, lowly.

 

Harry nodded, his eyes opening to reveal half-lidded lust in his green orbs.

 

“Louis…you can’t…you _can't_ okay?” He whispered, trembling in Louis’ arms.

 

“I can actually,” Louis arched a brow with authority, running his palm over Harry’s belly, leaning forward to kiss his chest; letting his fingers dig beneath the band of his shorts where Harry gasped as he wrapped him in his hand.

 

“Good?” Louis checked, still watching Harry’s face which was a mixture of fear and desire, needing his touch so badly but so scared to let go.

 

Louis began a slow rhythm, knowing Harry didn’t have long to last.

 

“No…n-” He swallowed as Louis’ thumb slipped over the head of his dick; bringing his orgasm ever-closer.

 

“Yes,” Louis countered, leaning forward to kiss his ravaged lips. “Shh, it’s okay…come for me, Harry…”

 

“No…nnn,” Harry groaned as his body began to quiver, on the precipice of what he was fighting.

 

Louis leaned forward more; making his grip tighter as he reached his lips to Harry’s ear.

 

“Come for Daddy,” he whispered; the words the final straw for Harry as he finally let his body release the way it needed to; his white strips of seed covering Louis’ hand and his shorts and belly, too.

 

“Good range,” Louis remarked breathlessly as he looked down to see the mess they’d made.

 

“You…what about…” Harry panted, eyes still half-closed as he tried to catch breath.

 

Louis smirked, looking down between their bodies again.

 

“Let’s just say that was pretty hot,” he offered bemusedly.

 

Harry frowned. Louis had come too? Just from watching him?

 

Louis chuckled, cupping his neck, landing a soft kiss to his lips.

 

“Yes, you look amazing when you come, Harry, really, don’t look so surprised…”

 

Harry licked his lips, realizing they were sore from being bitten and kissed. He absent-mindedly ran his fingers over a sore patch on his neck, wondering what he’d done.

 

“Oh, oops,” Louis murmured as he stepped back, licking the sticky mess off his hand which Harry watched with his mouth agape.

 

“Oops?” He echoed, confusedly.

 

“I gave you a bruise,” Louis offered tritely.

 

Harry instinctively grasped his neck, covering it, his eyes widening.

 

“People are going to see…” He shot Louis a look.

 

Louis shrugged. “Good.” He said in that way he did.

 

Harry glared. _Good?_ Weren’t they supposed to be discreet? Wasn’t this just ‘fun’? Maybe not to him, but certainly to Louis. But Louis wanted him to be off the market to other guys, he realized. While Louis was still as available as ever. That wasn’t exactly fair.

 

He began to sulk again.

 

“I need a swim,” he decided of his sticky state.

 

“Good idea,” Louis agreed, jumping perfectly into the water where Harry followed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey I hope haven't lost any Larries to Louis' fake snogging??
> 
> And don't even start me on Zayn....
> 
> Ang

** chapter 8 **

 

Harry steered the boat back to shore late in the afternoon when the sun was just setting. They’d enjoyed Louis’ picnic for two on deck after their swim and a quiet lull had settled over them; a heaviness of unspoken words.

 

Harry turned to Louis with a frown as they gathered up their stuff; slipping their tops back on as they got ready to unboard the boat.

 

“So, what would you say if someone asked you?” Harry wondered aloud.

 

“Asked me what?” Louis returned genuinely curious.

 

“If you were single,” Harry defined.

 

Louis’ eyes flickered and he swallowed, a pause that Harry found painful to witness. If he had to think about it, it couldn’t be good news for him.

 

“I…uh…I don’t know,” Louis offered honestly.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Right…” he said flatly, heading off the boat; checking the ropes were secure and locking the gate as Louis hopped down to the jetty.

 

“Harry…wait,” Louis called softly as Harry ignored him deliberately.

 

“It’s ok, I get it,” Harry pressed his lips together. “You get to mark me, but I don’t get to mark you,” he pointed at his neck to evidence his love-bite. “That seems really normal to me…”

 

“No, you’re getting this all wrong,” Louis argued, following him down the wooden board-walk toward shore.

 

Harry stopped. “So, what am I, then?”

 

Louis sighed. “I told you, I don’t know…”

 

Harry bit into his lip, knowing he was going to give in. He always did. It’s why he was the way he was, because he was a complete coward, never fighting for what he wanted. And he wanted Louis. Exclusively.

 

“It’s okay,” he said again, softly, showing his shift in mood with a small smile.

 

“I’m not with anyone, okay?” Louis asked. “There’s no-one else…”

 

Harry nodded. _At the moment_ , he added silently. He guessed Louis’ words were enough for now.

 

“Is dinner pushing it?” Louis added after.

 

Harry smirked. _Probably._ But he wanted to, anyway.

 

“Not fed up of me yet?” Harry checked.

 

Louis tilted his head. “Not yet.”

 

The words were reassurance even though they sounded flippant.

 

“You have a place in mind?” Harry asked as they began to walk again.

 

Louis looked to him. “You do,” he guessed.

 

Harry smiled bemusedly.

 

“Beautiful sea-food place down by the cove,” he said slowly, his tiredness evident now.

 

Louis considered he’d done all of the brunt work today and as much as he enjoyed watching his lovely body swinging about he now felt protective over his younger more-than-friend.

 

“Sounds perfect,” Louis murmured, drifting closer to Harry to slip a supportive arm around his waist.

 

Louis felt him stiffen for a moment before he relaxed, leaning into Louis’ side.

 

//

 

Going to work on Monday was probably the strangest feeling Harry had felt in a long time.

 

Saturday had been a surreal day and he and Louis hadn’t made firm plans to meet up again so he really didn’t know what this day would bring.

 

Karen began emailing him around 2 minutes past 9 to get the gossip from Friday night.

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ Weekend Fun…

 

….How much did you have?

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : Nosiness

 

Ha-ha, I had as much fun as you did: P

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ It’s called being a good friend

 

Wow, really, never knew you had it in you, Styles….

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : It’s called being nosey

 

Seriously, TMI, Kaz, TMI!!!

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ A good friend is always nosey

 

Come on, just spill. Did boss-man stay the night?

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : A nosey friend is always nosey

 

Yes, he did. And no, nothing happened.

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ Liar liar pants are on fire

 

Something did happen, you little sh*t. Zayn saw you on a boat in the bay and said you couldn’t keep your hands off!

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

Harry blushed, gulping at the realization that somebody knew. Somebody knew about him and Louis and he hadn’t even had a chance to talk to him yet because he was late in again. He scooted back his chair and headed for the kitchen; intending to make coffee for him and Louis both. He quickly typed a message before he got up.

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : Oh

 

Kitchen. Now.

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

“So, come on then,” Karen bumped her hip against Harry’s at the counter as they pretended to make coffee while they gossiped.

 

Harry sighed. “Look, it was nothing, okay? Why didn’t Zayn text me and tell me he was there?” He grumbled.

 

“He was on a date with that Niall guy,” she shared. “Louis’ friend from Friday…”

 

“Yeah,” Harry nodded, a fond smile stretching his lips at the mention of the Irish lad. “I like him.”

 

“How many guys do you like?” Karen teased, elbowing him.

 

Harry rolled his eyes, shunting his specs up his nose.

 

“Karen, you can’t tell anyone okay?” he ventured.

 

Karen turned and gave him the exact look he had been expecting her to give him- one of reprimand.

 

“Why not?” She asked, glacial.

 

“Because I don’t want anyone to know about this, yet,” he shared, almost-truthfully.

 

Totally truthfully, he didn’t want anyone to know he was letting Louis use him, but that was another matter altogether…

 

“You don’t want anyone to know, or _he_ doesn’t want anyone to know?” She arched, hands on hips now as her feistiness pushed forth.

 

“Me, it’s definitely me,” he quickly claimed. “I could get moved to another department or taken off the Solo project.”

 

She eyed him for a long moment, squinting as if that would help her smell a lie.

 

“Well, Zayn, Niall, me and Liam all know so who’s left?” She mused.

 

“This office,” Harry pointed out.

 

Karen seemed to relax at this.

 

“Alright, I understand,” she allowed.

 

“I knew you would,” he smiled bravely.

 

Karen began to frown and then her head tilted and Harry froze, confused until a cheeky smile formed on her lips and he blushed hard as he realized what she was staring at.

 

“Oh my god! You have a love-bite!” She accused.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“No, it’s just a scratch, I did it in the night…” he denied, although his flaming cheeks were giving him away.

 

“No it's not! He bit you! Oh my god, Harry! You’re the one hiding this when he’s painting signs for everyone to see?!” She squealed excitedly.

 

“No, it was a stupid mistake,” Harry mumbled, trying desperately to reign in his friend’s excitement, mostly due to the fact that half of the office could probably hear her from how loud she was.

 

“A mistake?” she scoffed. “Looks pretty fucking sexy to me, like…”

 

Harry rolled his eyes, his body clenching in memory of that bite; the sensations that had coursed through him and yes, the ultimate sweet release Louis gave him. He frowned as he remembered his stupid emotional moment right before that, how Louis had still wanted him even after he’d been a complete girl about things. He really needed to get Louis off, he realised. As a thank you, a return favour.

 

“Okay, it was sexy,” he admitted softly. “But shh,” he begged, tugging his collar up and tightening his tie to keep it there.

 

“Good morning,” Louis’ voice sounded behind them both and they both startled at the interruption.

 

“Oh, good morning,” Karen’s face practically glowed with mischief and Harry gulped, praying she wouldn’t do anything stupid. “Nice weekend?”

 

“Amazing, actually,” Louis smiled, his relaxedness emanating from his healthy tanned skin; deepened by his sunbathing on the boat. “What’s new?” He asked.

 

Harry gave him a look as if to say ‘why did you have to ask that?’ but Louis had no idea why he was so surly about it. He was just trying to make polite conversation with staff.

 

“Well, now that you ask,” Karen divulged. “Harry’s got a mysterious love-bite on his neck and he’s being very coy about it,” Karen teased as Harry felt his cheeks heat again.

 

He swallowed, shooting Louis an apologetic look as his blue eyes flicked to him from Karen.

 

“I think it could be Zayn, what do you think?” Karen asked Louis interestedly for his opinion.

 

Louis looked from her to Harry again and Harry sucked in a breath. So this was it. This was what it felt like to get the sack, he mused.

 

“I gave him it,” Louis said, calm as anything, soft and assured.

 

Karen was for the first time ever, shocked into silence. She opened her mouth, stunned at his admission.

 

She turned to Harry.

 

“I did tell you that,” he murmured, so Louis knew he hadn’t been denying them.

 

“I…um…I have work to do,” Karen decided as she left the kitchen and the two remaining inhabitants in it.

 

Harry passed Louis the mug of coffee he’d just finished making him and Louis took it with a long, intense look at the younger man.

 

“Are you okay?” Louis asked gently.

 

Harry darted him a look and then nodded, chewing his lip. He really didn’t know what to say, how to act.

 

“I hope you don’t mind me being honest,” he added.

 

“Not with Karen,” Harry replied. “Not sure everyone needs to know, though…”

 

“Oh,” Louis frowned, thoughtfully. He swallowed. “Okay, right…”

 

Harry frowned too, looked at him. Why did he sound disappointed?

 

“They might move me,” he repeated his reason, just in case Louis was offended or something, which he doubted, but still…

 

“Yes, of course,” Louis nodded his understanding.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“So what’s the plan today?” He wondered.

 

“Let’s have a catch up in my office,” Louis suggested.

 

Harry followed him in, wondering if that were code, but his boss got straight to business, leaving Harry as confused as ever in his wake.

 

//

 

 

It was Wednesday when Harry was in Louis’ office doing his usual round of printing that he next kissed Louis.

 

He trailed in with his stash of papers, swallowing nervously as he watched Louis get up from his desk and he knew his boss was moving to turn the blinds shut, not an obvious move as it was something that often happened when they had private meetings.

 

Harry felt his breathing change straight away, trying to calm his shaking hands as he fed paper through the top of the copier; praying his thudding heart couldn’t be heard in the quiet of the room.

 

“Hey,” Louis greeted, just behind Harry, making Harry startle.

 

“Hi,” Harry returned softly, gulping.

 

Louis stood behind him and lifted a hand, slipping it around to Harry’s front where he stroked his belly through his shirt.

 

“It seems like a lifetime ago,” he murmured.

 

Harry closed his eyes and leaned back, just enough to feel Louis’ body there. He couldn’t help his sigh out, his blissful smile as he remembered that day; the way he’d felt in Louis’ arms, in his hands...

 

“Daddy,” he breathed out on a murmur, totally unaware of what he’d said until it was too late. _Shoot!_ Why had he said that?! Of all the things to slip out of his mouth, it had to be that word, didn’t it? He cringed slightly, not wanting to open his eyes to see Louis’ reaction.

 

“Look at me,” Louis commanded huskily, the roughness of his voice clueing Harry in as to his desire.

 

He turned around and blinked his green orbs open.

 

Louis was gazing at him, lost in him if he’d believe it. He was waiting for Harry to look before he kissed him, which he did now, firmly and with command.

 

Louis quickly grasped Harry’s buttock in one hand and his neck in the other; roughly pushing him against the copier to press closer; needing to feel their bodies touch; hard muscle to hard muscle and in Harry’s case, plenty of plushness, which Louis’ fondled by grasping above his hip where a natural curve of flesh sat.

 

“You’re so irresistible,” Louis’ eyes flicked over Harry’s face and Harry grasped his shirt front to try and keep from being spread across the copier.

 

“Sorry,” he blurted quickly. “I didn’t mean to say it…”

 

Louis smirked. “Not many guys do say it,” he derided. “I’m surprised you’re willing to…”

 

“I heard you,” Harry said, all fast again like he had a secret he had to push out. “When you were sleeping…I knew and then you said it Saturday…”

 

Louis nodded, his blue eyes trained on Harry shrewdly.

 

“Tell me something,” he broached.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“The truth,” he added with a look which made Harry nervous of the question.

 

“Okay,” he agreed shakily.

 

“Have you been with a guy before?” Louis asked outright.

 

Harry gulped and he felt the heat rush up from his feet to his face; blooming across his cheeks prettily.

 

Louis gave him a sexy smile.

 

“When you blush, it goes up your chest,” he observed, even though Harry was fully clothed. He pressed his hand to the skin there, finding it warmer-than-normal and Harry blushed again at the attention to his most-hated habit.

 

He dipped his head.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

 

Louis lifted his face by cupping his cheek.

 

“Don’t be sorry, it’s pretty sexy,” Louis shared.

 

Harry began shaking his head in that way he did to deny any compliment and Louis quickly kissed his cheek to pause him.

 

“It’s sexy, okay?” He insisted.

 

Harry sighed, finally meeting his gaze with a pained expression on his face.

 

“If you say so…”

 

“I say so,” Louis smiled, the cool, calm master of this situation as Harry clung to him still; feeling entirely unbalanced.

 

Harry chewed his lip, still a little sore from all the biting he’d taken out on it at the weekend, but he bravely reached forward and brushed his lips to Louis’, owning them until Louis’ responded back; letting Harry lead him where he wanted this kiss to go.

 

His arms banded around Harry's middle, he pressed his body as close as he could get and Harry folded his arms around Louis’ shoulders and whimpered; needing him, needing more than just kissing, just touch.

 

He pulled away; shy of his reaction, wondering if Louis was really going to be the one to open him.

 

“Am I too much?” Harry asked quietly. “You don’t want to fuck me?”

 

 _Too much?_ Louis repeated in his mind. Yes, he was definitely too much, but never in a negative sense. And hearing Harry say the word fuck almost made him come in his pants. He pulled away for his own sake, but cupped Harry’s arms to comfort him in his distancing.

 

“The reason I asked if you’ve been with anyone is because I do want to- as you put it- fuck you,” Louis shared softly, his eyes kind and real.

 

Harry sucked in a breath, almost in surprised shock at hearing Louis say the words. He’d quite expected him to agree and he’d go along with whatever Louis _did_ want besides fucking. But here he was, wanting the more he felt in his own veins.

 

“Only I like to think of it less as fucking and more as making love,” Louis amended of Harry’s statement and Harry had almost forgotten he was still talking.

 

He frowned. _Making love?_ They weren’t _in_ love, so how could they be _making_ it?

 

“I see,” Harry breathed out, the only words his poor confused mind could conjure up right now.

 

“So, is that something you can see us doing?” Louis asked pertinently.

 

Harry shrugged. “I guess so…”

 

Louis chuckled, cupping his hair tenderly, as one might to their lover.

 

“Not straight away, of course. I mean when…when it’s right, when it’s…”

 

“When it’s right,” Harry echoed, feeling like a sixteen year old girl not being pressured into sex by her older boyfriend. He winced.

 

“I want it to be right,” Louis said then, softly.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“You don’t have to wait,” Harry blurted then into the quiet.

 

Louis frowned, pulling Harry back against him in a fierce hug, a protective hug if Harry would notice it.

 

“Jesus _fucking_ Christ,” Louis muttered, making Harry tense at his swearing. _What had he done now?_

 

“I mean, I’d understand…I get that we’re not…that you…” He gave up trying to explain and pulled away from Louis’ embrace.

 

“Tonight?” Louis questioned and Harry’s eyes widened and fear stuck his lungs. He couldn’t breathe.

 

“No!” Louis quickly altered. “No, god, not that,” he assured. “I meant dinner…or hanging out…or _something_ …just together,” he amended.

 

“Okay,” Harry agreed, looking up into Louis’ face.

 

One of these days he was going to get through a whole sneaky kissing session without having an emotional breakdown, he swore. This obviously wasn’t going to be one of those days.

 

Louis turned him and patted his backside.

 

“You should leave before I give up any pretense of work altogether,” he mused. “Too damn sexy for your own good…”

 

Harry peeked at him and managed a humoured smile. He stuck his tongue out before he left.

 

//

 

Of all the activities Harry had imagined them doing tonight, playing Monopoly was not one of them.

 

As he watched Louis take his turn, counting out his spaces with meticulous precision, he considered that his boss was old before his time.

 

They should at the very least be jumping up and down on the bed mattress; or partaking in a water-fight with this opportunity upon them.

 

But also, it meant Harry got to see Louis’ house. And since Louis had already been to his and stayed the night, he felt stupidly giddy about Louis letting him over.

 

He did wonder if he’d have invited him had he not had another moment earlier; but then it didn’t really matter in the end because here he was.

 

Losing badly at a board game he could care less about.

 

“Oh man, I’m bankrupt,” Harry sighed, lifting his hands in surrender.

 

Louis grinned. Harry had just landed on his Mayfair which had two hotels and three houses.

 

“Wimp,” Louis insulted affectionately.

 

They were on the sofa, side by side, stretching across the coffee table to reach the far side of the board and as Louis packed up the game, Harry let his mind drift off with the soft music he had playing; something else he noted Louis probably did to ease his jangled nerves.

 

He didn’t know why he got in such a state, he really didn’t. Maybe it was the idea that Louis wanted something real with him, was prepared to take him through that awkward first time. Maybe it was the fact he wanted it just as badly and was so scared of putting Louis off. Maybe it was the way Louis protected him, reassured him and yet always felt like he had one foot out the door…

 

“So, what should we do next time?” Louis asked, realizing Harry wasn’t a board-game fan quite quickly. But it was the only thing he could think of to get his mind off the things that worried him and it had worked because Harry had relaxed for those couple of hours and even though he was smiling along to the music, Louis could see his tension returning minute by minute.

 

“Next time?” Harry ventured.

 

Louis shrugged. “If you want to, that is…”

 

“Yeah,” Harry answered quickly, keenly, swallowing to reign in his excitement. “Yeah, of course…”

 

“Good,” Louis smiled. “Because I want to, too.”

 

Harry gazed at him, all green eyes and curls. He was wearing his contacts and Louis found his picture so different to that young man he met on his first day of the job.

 

“Why do you want to?” Harry asked, curious.

 

Louis lifted his brows. He wasn’t expecting that question. Harry was still testing him, testing them, trying to find a definition, something solid to fall back on. Louis still didn’t know if he was ready to commit to that but the thought of losing Harry as a result of not defining them, made him hurt in his chest and he didn’t know why.

 

“Because I like you,” Louis said openly.

 

Harry twisted his lips. _Like._ That was a nice word, a safe word. He wanted more. He deserved more. He frowned. He deserved hearts and flowers.

 

“I more than like you,” he said, hoping his admission would inspire Louis.

 

Louis gave him a wry grin.

 

“Alright, I more than like you, too,” he replied.

 

Harry shook his head. No, that still wasn’t enough. Really, truly, he didn’t know what would be enough and it scared him thinking about it.

 

“I should go,” he shifted to move.

 

“No, don’t,” Louis reached out and grasped his forearm in gentle fingers. “Don’t go yet,” he begged softly.

 

Harry glanced at him, chewed his lip. How could this man be so gentle and so commanding all at once? He was sure he’d throw himself in front of a train if Louis asked him to in that soft way he spoke.

 

He twisted; lifting his knee onto the sofa sideways so he was facing Louis now; blinking lazy lids over his olive orbs.

 

“Make me an offer I can’t refuse,” Harry murmured, surprising Louis for a slow grin curled onto his lips.

 

“Really? Like that is it?” He enquired, thinking about his answer.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“What about if I kiss you?” He bargained.

 

Harry shrugged, playing nonchalant.

 

“Meh.”

 

Louis licked his lower lip, watching Harry’s gaze follow the movement. He subtly moved his hand into his lap and drew a line up his fly with his finger. Harry watched him with hooded eyes thinking how different Louis looked in his tight jeans and comic tee-shirts; his hair scruffy along with his beard.

 

He reached out, brushing those whiskers.

 

“Getting scratchy,” Harry lifted his brow, an invitation almost.

 

Louis cottoned on, sucked in a breath.

 

“You like it?” He queried.

 

Harry gave him a deep, dirty grin that showcased his dimples in such a devilish way that Louis was stunned at the paradox between Harry’s innocence and his look right now.

 

“Fuck, Harry,” he whispered, cupping his jaw and planting his lips upon the curly-haired lad’s, quickly taking those soft pillows of flesh as his own.

 

Harry knelt up, wrapping his large hands around Louis’ head as he towered over him, devouring him as he was being devoured. It was like match to torch-paper whenever they touched and this time was no different; hands searching, finding; Louis pushing his palms up Harry’s t-shirted chest, knowing what lay beneath and wanting to be part of it.

 

He quickly began tugging at the material while Harry’s lips pressed to his and they had to break so Louis stripped off his own top in the same swift moment; not wanting to keep stopping for undressing; it was far too annoying having to stop from this heavenly union of their mouths he considered.

 

He groaned as Harry’s tongue delved into his mouth and he scrambled around to try and find a position where he could bring him closer; harder into his arms. He grasped Harry’s arms; fighting for movement, for air, for something.

 

Harry’s lips instantly went to his throat as he got him to give up kissing and he tried to remember what the hell it was he was doing as those plush pads worked down his neck toward his collar-bone.

 

“Ah, fuck, Haz!” He gasped as Harry sucked on his collarbone; his teeth grazing his skin as he did so; his large hands working over his small body.

 

It was all Louis could do to stay in the moment, to keep up and he was stunned, truly because he’d always thought he was the one in charge, the one in control but Harry’s enthusiasm and passion were outrunning him at every hurdle.

 

Louis finally coordinated his limbs; widening his thighs to fit around Harry’s hips; giving himself up to the fact the younger lad was now intent on ruining him, He quickly threaded his fingers into Harry’s hair as Harry’s mouth found his nipples and worked there; eliciting noises from Louis’ mouth that he didn’t know he could make.

 

He actually blushed at the sound that was torn from his lips as Harry kissed his belly; licking into his belly-button. It wasn’t like that had never happened before but god, with him, it felt so good, so, so good and he couldn’t help the way his poor, defenseless body was reacting to the haywire of his hormones.

 

“Harry, Haz…kiss me,” he whispered, wanting to stop him from touching his body, to stop his lips exploring and it worked for a few long moments while Harry was distracted into joining their mouths but he soon got bored; trailing his lips back down, down to where Louis’ jeans still covered his lower half.

 

Harry’s hands made quick work of the button and fly; peeling off those clingy trousers with a happy smirk; his eyes eating up Louis’ naked flesh.

 

“Oh god,” Harry whispered, his hands now able to travel all the places he wanted them to, up Louis’ shapely calves, onto those sexy knees; upwards still to own those thighs, those amazing, amazing thighs and around to his backside, his delicious, lush backside that Harry teased by parting his cheeks just briefly; making Louis cry out.

 

“Fuck!” he gasped. “What is this? What did you do to Harry?” he wondered breathlessly; arching his hips up where Harry was trying to peel back his boxer briefs waistband.

 

“Shh,” Harry smiled secretly, like he was teasing Louis for all the times he had said that to him and Louis gave himself up to it, stopped trying to work it out or fight it or anything else that included not enjoying this for every single sweet moment that it was.

 

“Yes,” Louis panted; throwing his head back as Harry removed his boxers; flinging them across the room pointedly.

 

“Don’t need those,” Harry smirked, dipping his head to kiss Louis’ hip.

 

“Fu-wait,” he gasped. “Wait…you,” he bit out, not making sense.

 

Harry bit his lip. “Me what?” He asked, his voice rough with husk and Louis almost came there and then.

 

He sounded like he’d already swallowed a load of his come, even though Louis knew that’s what was about to happen.

 

“Jeans…off,” Louis managed raggedly, cupping Harry’s face in this pause.

 

His thighs were wide open, being enjoyed by Harry’s hands as he leaned his big, heavy body between them, all doe-eyes and wicked lips. He could tell Harry didn’t understand why he needed to get his jeans off since he wasn’t the one receiving but Louis wanted to see his long legs; his lovely behind; all of him, in fact…

 

“I don’t think that’s such a good idea,” Harry admitted softly, leaning down to kiss Louis’ other hip, licking there to leave Louis rendered motionless; scared to move in case the sensation was too much for him to bear.

 

“Why?” Louis frowned, getting frustrated, annoyed at this delay. “For Daddy,” he begged. “Do it for Daddy…”

 

Harry swallowed and slid off the couch, standing to unbutton his jeans and rasp down the zipper, slowly sliding them over his slim hips and down over his muscular thighs. Something pink caught Louis’ attention and his eyes widened as Harry stood up, now without his jeans. He had on women’s underwear. Pink, French panties that honestly in black would look a lot like boxer-briefs, but still…they weren’t.

 

Louis closed his eyes and rocked his hips into thin air, needing friction. The groan he let out was loud and needy and Harry shyly slipped back onto the sofa, but not between Louis’ thighs.

 

Louis looked at him desperately.

 

“Please,” he begged him, knees bent, arousal heavy against his belly.

 

Harry sucked his lower lip into his mouth.

 

“Do you like them, Daddy?” He asked quietly.

 

“Do I-Fu-Harry!” He gasped. “Does it look like it?” He asked; wrapping his hand around his own dick to try and ease some of his pain.

 

Harry watched him a moment with lazy, appreciating eyes and then he got back into place; batting Louis’ hand away. He wrapped one hand around Louis and one around himself; pacing their stimulation at the same rate. And then he looked Louis right in the eyes before saying,

 

“Gonna make Daddy scream…”

 

And he licked his tongue across the head of Louis’ dick; swallowing him down into his mouth as far as he would go with an expertise Louis didn’t expect.

 

“Oh, Jesus! Fuck!” Louis gasped; clutching at Harry’s curls, pulling him away and pushing him closer in the same moment, not sure what he wanted- more or less.

 

Harry seemed hell-bent on giving him more, working him into his mouth until he hit the back of his throat; but even then Harry didn’t choke like Louis expected him to. He swallowed and hummed around him; hollowing his cheeks as he pulled out every trick in the book and somehow still made this the best head Louis had ever gotten in his life.

 

Harry still had the pink pants on as he stroked himself while heading Louis and Louis leaned over to see; groaning as he caught a glimpse of them; watching Harry pump himself with his fist while he could only reach his hair; tug on it and make him moan around him; a task which Harry was enjoying way too much he considered.

 

“Yes, take it, Haz, ah-take. It.” He panted out, bitten words and gasps of pleasure.

 

He felt sparkling start at the back of his eyes and thrust upwards; wincing as he heard Harry gag, then, too much for him in one go.

 

“Sorry!” he hissed. “Sorry, Harry…”

 

Harry kept up his tempo; not stopping for trivial things such as Louis fucking his mouth which Louis considered he may very well be doing right now since he was circling his hips and pushing upwards; forcing himself into Harry’s tight mouth. Harry began to dribble and Louis found the sight too much to bear; his body set off in a chain reaction that resulted in him releasing his seed; right into Harry’s mouth.

 

“Fuck!” he yelled, ravaged. “I didn’t- I was going to-Fuck,” he shook his head as his body pumped away; slowing and eventually stopping.

 

Harry licked his lips; struggling to swallow it all; some escaping his mouth and dribbling down with his saliva from before.

 

“Holy hell you’re ruined,” Louis gasped; reaching for him, brushing away his mess with the pad of his thumb. “Come here…Jesus,” he sucked in air; pulling Harry up over his body where the taller man lay; awkwardly in his arms.

 

“M’not comfy,” Harry mumbled and Louis let him move into his preferred position.

 

Harry shifted lower, curling his body slightly in the cramped space; laying his cheek on Louis’ chest, right by his heart. Louis laid his arms back over him once he settled; around his shoulders, one hand stroking his back the other his curls.

 

Harry nuzzled Louis’ chest.

 

“Did I do okay, Daddy?” He asked, his voice so broken and vulnerable that it made Louis swallow heavily.

 

What had he done? Had he broken him? Ruined him? He’d never forgive himself if he had, but he couldn’t understand it, Harry had wanted that as much as he had…

 

“More than okay,” Louis sighed in disbelief. “Perfect, in fact.”

 

Harry nodded, squirming where Louis tightened his arms around him; even crossing his legs around behind him; like a koala bear on a tree.

 

“Don’t leave,” Harry murmured, feeling tired, now.

 

Louis leaned down and kissed his hair.

 

“I would never,” he assured softly, hoping he could keep that promise.

 

“They always leave,” Harry mumbled as his body relaxed into unconsciousness. “M’never good enough, never enough, Daddy…never enough…”

 

Louis felt tears prick at the back of his eyes at Harry’s words, his admission as to how he’d been treated before. Fuck. He should never have let him give him that blow-job, he mused. It was detrimental to his confidence letting him serve him that way, but holy god, it had been spectacular. And Harry’s revelation of wearing women’s underwear…not something he ever thought he’d have a liking for but Jesus…maybe it was the Harry effect because he was certain he’d never be that turned on by another guy in pink panties.

 

Still, passion aside- which they had plenty of, he mused- Harry needed his hug right now, his unwavering embrace. And he was only too happy to give it.

 

//

 

When morning broke, things weren’t as awkward as either of them expected.

 

Harry had woken in Louis’ arms and leaned up to find him awake, a pretty smile on his lips.

 

“We should really think about using the bed next time,” Louis suggested with a sleepy husk in his voice that made Harry smile sexily at him.

 

“Next time when?” He asked brazenly.

 

“Whenever you like,” Louis offered.

 

“When would _you_ like?” Harry returned; goofy-grinning in that way he had the first time they’d woken up together like this. Louis wanted to see that smile every day if he was honest with himself. Which he wasn’t. Not entirely.

 

“Tonight,” Louis replied, not a question but a statement.

 

Harry smiled beautifully.

 

“Okay.”

 

“Can I shower with you?” Louis asked.

 

Harry shrugged. “Guess so.”

 

He slowly got up until he was standing, stretching his body out with a yawn.

 

Louis was watching him with a heavy-lidded gaze as he too, stood.

 

“I need something really convincing to get me to work today,” he commented as he watched Harry’s nearly naked body with open appreciation.

 

“I’m going,” Harry said.

 

“Hm, that might convince me,” Louis teased and he led Harry to his bathroom.

 

//

 

Showering with Louis.

 

_Showering. With. Louis._

 

Showering with Louis…holy god.

 

Harry sighed out dreamily in memory of the lovely leisurely wash they’d shared in his big-enough-for-two shower; the act intimate and loving; the hearts and flowers Harry was pining for to survive this-whatever this was.

 

He smiled goofily to himself not really trying to concentrate on work while he remembered the beautiful lush shape of his boss; his cheeky grin and playful nature in these moments; splashing and daringly washing Harry when he wasn’t looking.

 

He’d swipe a hand down his back; over his butt; between his thighs. He blushed as he remembered what effect that had on him…how his body had hardened instantly and needed stimulation to release all over again.

 

They’d watched each other come, basically. Not wanting to add pressure to the situation, Louis had taken the lead in masturbating himself and Harry soon followed suit; the experience both pleasing and binding at the same time.

 

They had too many secrets now; they couldn’t part easily without there being a mess.

 

He looked down as a ping alerted him to a message in his inbox.

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ Just f’d grin

 

So I take it you slept with master last night?

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : Just f’d nothing

 

I am as innocent as the day I was born thank you.

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ F’d fo sho

 

Pfft, your face says you’re lying

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : Fo sho? Really?

 

Ask Louis if you don’t believe me ~:P

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ Regretful words

 

You’re right; he’s always so forthcoming with the truth…

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : Offer hastily retrieved

 

Might mess it up for me... I don’t know what we are…

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ Calm down

 

Don’t panic I was only kidding…but judging by the way he’s sitting at his desk with the _exact_ same grin as you have on your face; I’d say you were more than a lay for him…

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : Insecure

 

What if I’m like his secretary boys?

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ You’re amazing

 

I think you have a right to ask him about that no?

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : Scared

 

Maybe. I might call Zayn and see how he’s doing.

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ You’re amazing mark II

 

Do it now, Louis is coming out of his office, you can make him jealousss :S

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

Harry rolled his eyes; sighing at the particularly difficult task he had to tackle today- organising an ad campaign for Solo. He had to start at the bottom and work up and he was struggling with even the basics.

 

He looked up as Louis hovered by his desk; running a hand through his hair.

 

“I have to be in a meeting all afternoon to finish the consultation,” he explained.

 

Harry nodded. Simon was the last member of the team to go, everyone else having found a job.

 

“I’m not going to leave on time…” Louis added.

 

“Oh,” Harry said, realizing he was cancelling their date.

 

“I’m heading out for lunch now so you could come with me?” He suggested instead.

 

Harry smiled bashfully. “I promised Karen I’d help her go shoe shopping for her sister’s wedding,” he said, then blushed. “Sorry, too much information…”

 

Louis smiled tiredly and it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

 

“Maybe tomorrow evening instead?” He offered.

 

Harry had a running club he usually joined tomorrow. He’d have to cancel to go out with Louis. He smiled tightly.

 

“Sure.” He agreed.

 

“Good,” Louis nodded and headed out.

 

//

 

 

 _From:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject_ : Today

 

This meeting is the worse meeting I’ve ever had the unfortunate luck to attend. What are you doing?

_________________________

Louis Tomlinson

Senior Executive

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Louis Tominson

 _Subject:_ Soon be tomorrow

 

I’m writing the campaign plan for the advert shoots…sorry the meeting isn’t going well :p

 

­________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject_ : Tomorrow can’t come soon enough

 

If they knew I was emailing you I’d get heaved over hot coals. I said I had an urgent project with Solo :p

_________________________

Louis Tomlinson

Senior Executive

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _Subject:_ Tomorrow, tomorrow…

 

Hot coals? I’m not into that…

 

­________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject_ : …I love you, tomorrow

 

What _are_ you into…? ;)

_________________________

Louis Tomlinson

Senior Executive

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _Subject:_ Tomorrow is only a day away

 

Can’t possibly say without getting hauled over hot coals for using dirty words in a work email :P

­________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject_ : Tomorrow

 

Will you tell me tomorrow?

_________________________

Louis Tomlinson

Senior Executive

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _Subject:_ Depends where you take me

 

If you tell me yours C:

­________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject_ : Depends where you want to go

 

_________________________

Louis Tomlinson

Senior Executive

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _Subject:_ French

 

I never did get to try that French place you were going to take me…

­________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject_ : Done

 

You’ll have to dress up, though…

_________________________

Louis Tomlinson

Senior Executive

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Louis Tomlinson

 _Subject:_ Yay :)

 

­________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hastings & Co Advertising

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know about anyone else but I feel so good today :) Louis is going to get to sing more so that makes me happy! Six months exactly until I get to see them.
> 
> I'm glad you're still with me :)
> 
> Ang

** chapter 9 **

 

And so Harry spent the whole evening heaving out every item of clothing in his wardrobe only to toss through them with annoyed sighs and insecurities over not looking smart enough.

 

At eight o’clock, he called Zayn and his friend waited until he arrived to rib him about his boat trip.

 

“So you and Louis, huh?” Zayn elbowed him as he slipped off his leather jacket and started rummaging through the mass of clothes on the bed; wading through those on the floor which Harry was gathering up.

 

“Well, maybe,” Harry shrugged.

 

“Maybe?” Zayn scoffed. “I saw you…” he reminded. “With his hands down your trunks…”

 

Harry blushed.

 

“Well…alright, it was…”

 

“Wait, is he treating you right?” Zayn asked.

 

Harry frowned. He really didn’t know the answer to that question.

 

“Um…well, I think so,” Harry considered.

 

Zayn rolled his eyes.

 

“You should talk to Niall; he talks so much sense that lad. He was telling me how Louis had a nasty break-up with his ex, got his heart trampled all over by the sound of things…”

 

“That’s…oh…” Harry swallowed, not knowing this information and feeling weird about hearing it from Zayn of all people.

 

“Apparently it was a guy he worked with…he made it awful for Louis after that even though he was the one that cheated…” Zayn went on.

 

“Really?” Harry asked quietly, instantly feeling empathy for Louis.

 

“You can see why he’d be a bit funny about putting a label on anything,” Zayn added.

 

Harry nodded. “Hmm,” he agreed lightly.

 

“But Niall and I both agree that he likes you,” he grinned, throwing a mid-blue shirt at Harry which had hearts on, followed by a black jacket and pair of black jeans that Harry was sure he’d never squeeze his fat thighs into.

 

Zayn went to his closet and threw out a pair of boots; a modern pair that Harry had never worn apart from to this wedding that Karen made him go to and styled him for ‘just so he could see what he looked like in modern clothes’. He’d felt like a royal idiot for having to get people to dress him and had gone back to his vintage selection which made him feel safe and comfortable.

 

“This shirt has hearts on,” Harry observed.

 

“It’s cute and you’ll look cute in it,” Zayn expressed.

 

Harry wasn’t convinced but he wasn’t going to argue. Once he was dressed, he took his glasses off and popped his contact lenses in, smiling shyly at Zayn as he twirled.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ, Harry Styles, if you weren’t into somebody else, that bed would be breaking by now,” he winked.

 

Harry blushed.

 

“Um…thanks?” He guessed.

 

“So, you should probably know, I hooked up with Niall,” Zayn shared.

 

Harry nodded with a smile. “I kinda saw that coming…”

 

“He’s not into a long term thing and neither am I so…” he shrugged.

 

Harry blinked.

 

“Aren’t you?” He asked, knowingly.

 

Zayn’s gaze faltered. His lashes batted down. Really, he had the most beautiful eyes, Harry considered.

 

He sighed and Harry moved forward; giving his friend a hug.

 

“It’s okay to say you want more,” Harry encouraged.

 

Zayn hugged him back.

 

“But Niall isn’t even properly gay,” Zayn frowned. “He’d never want to tie himself down, not with me…”

 

“Why not you?” Harry stood back and demanded. “You’re good looking, funny, excellent in a crisis…”

 

Zayn peeked at him.

 

“From the guy who can’t see his own talents,” Zayn mused.

 

“Shut up, this isn’t about me,” Harry rolled his eyes. “If you don’t tell Niall that you want more, how’s he supposed to give it?”

 

“If I do tell him I want more, what do I do if he doesn’t?” Zayn batted back.

 

Harry tilted his head. With sudden clarity he realized that he and Zayn were in the exact situation, just with different guys.

 

“Wanna eat ice-cream and be pathetic together?” He wondered.

 

Zayn burst into some jilted laughter.

 

“Yeah, fuck, sounds alright to me…”

 

Harry led the way.

 

//

 

Harry was waiting for Louis outside the restaurant, just a few metres away in the dark so that the entire restaurant wouldn’t see him here, possibly being stood up.

 

Louis had been running late from work again but promised he was going straight home to shower and change and would meet Harry there at eight.

 

It wasn’t even eight yet so Harry didn’t know why he felt so nervous, maybe it was the fact this was their first real ‘date’ as such; one in full view of the public where they’d both dressed the part.

 

Harry had his hands tucked in his jeans pockets, still lamenting the skinny fit of them although Zayn had assured his several times his ass and legs ‘looked amazing’ in them and he tried to draw in breaths as he dragged a hand out of his pocket and through his curls to somehow tame his nerves as well as the mess on his head.

 

He saw Louis rushing down the road; quickening his pace to make it on time and he frowned as he caught sight of something swinging back and forth in his hand. Wait, was that…?

 

“Sorry I’m late!” Louis jogged up; a little breathless but more from nerves than running.

 

Harry stared, really stared. He couldn’t take his eyes off of what was in Louis’ hand. Louis seemed to realise because he came-to.

 

“Oh! Oh yes, these are for you,” he presented Harry with the twelve red roses he was toting.

 

Harry took them, still speechless, his mouth unopened as his face creased into a disbelieving expression.

 

“Uhm…are you okay?” Louis asked, lifting his brows.

 

Harry flicked a look at him. He was wearing a black shirt with small white dots on it, a smart tuxedo jacket and trousers and shiny shoes with no socks- typical of Louis. His hair was a sexy mess brushed forward into his face, but styled deliberately-so, to be attractive, to be touchable. Harry wanted to touch it more than Louis knew.

 

He looked into his face, his handsome, tanned face, his apprehensive face, he mused. Though why Louis would ever be apprehensive was a mystery to him. His beard was getting long; almost full but not quite. His smile was small, hopeful.

 

“Haz? Am I late?” He asked, not bothering to check his watch.

 

Harry stared at the flowers again, then at Louis. He lifted them to smell the sweet blooms, feeling tears prick his eyes and lamenting his ridiculousness. Why was he fucking crying? They were flowers for god’s sake! _Hearts and flowers_ , remember, he told himself.

 

“Thank you,” he managed to get out on a wobbly, thick voice; reaching to hug Louis around the shoulders.

 

Louis caught his exuberant expression of affection with a startled smile.

 

“I thought it was mandatory to bring flowers on a date,” he lightened the moment with a joke.

 

“I’ve never had flowers before,” Harry husked lowly.

 

Louis tilted his head, holding out his hand.

 

“Come on,” he suggested, before Harry could get too sentimental.

 

Harry looked at his hand, confused. Hand-holding? Really? In public?

 

He grasped Louis’ hand and let him lead the way.

 

“Tomlinson,” Louis introduced as they got to the maitre’d.

 

“Ah yes, Mr. Tomlinson,” the maitre’d smiled warmly. “I have an excellent table reserved for you…”

 

“Good,” Louis smiled, tugging Harry gently behind him as the younger man appeared to be shy about holding hands with him.

 

Harry tried a smile as Louis went to seat him.

 

“I’m the lady, I take it,” Harry mused as he lay his flowers on the table.

 

“Would sir like a vase?” The waiter, Pierre asked.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Thank you,” he appreciated with a smile.

 

Louis chewed his lip for a moment before speaking.

 

“You look…well, amazing, actually,” Louis gushed.

 

Harry smiled. “Zayn helped me choose,” he admitted. “I’m useless with anything made this century.”

 

“You always look amazing,” Louis said softly once Harry finished speaking.

 

Harry looked at him.

 

“You look like you don’t belong here with me,” Harry extended sadly. “Too good for a kid with curly hair and glasses…”

 

Louis blinked, his long lashes hitting his cheeks. He sighed.

 

“You’re the one who’s too good for me, Harry,” he whispered urgently. “If only you would see it…”

 

“And then what?” Harry challenged.

 

“And then you’d leave,” Louis predicted, his worst fear spoken aloud. “I’m still waiting for that day…”

 

“I wouldn’t leave,” Harry frowned, hurt by Louis’ accusation.

 

“You might,” Louis sighed again. “You can’t predict who you might meet or what might happen…”

 

“I wouldn’t leave,” Harry said again, sure about this. His existence was dependent upon Louis, he knew. He hadn’t worked out the complexities of it, but he knew his life had changed for the better since knowing him.

 

“What do you want to drink?” Louis asked, lifting the mood.

 

Harry pouted. “Maybe white?”

 

Louis nodded, ordering a wine that Harry would have no hope of knowing about and they went about studying the menu.

 

“So, who left?” Harry asked once they’d ordered their starters and mains.

 

Louis looked up, surprised by his candidness. Harry really was a myriad of personalities and he hadn’t pinned him down to one of those yet.

 

“Uh…a guy,” he offered inadequately.

 

Harry tilted his head.

 

“I hope so, or we have real problems,” he mused softly.

 

Louis swallowed. He probably didn’t want to talk about this on a ‘first’ date, not with Harry when the guy was so amazingly special and he already had no hope of keeping him. In fact; the flowers were a vain attempt to win him over; try and provide what Harry should come to expect from his dates- his boyfriends if they ever got that far.

 

He frowned as he imagined Harry with a boyfriend, someone that wasn’t him. Someone that doted on him, showed him off the world and let him pirouette in the sea if he felt like it. The irony was if Louis could see his own involvement in Harry’s life, he was already that guy, but lacking in the loving part.

 

“You really want to hear this?” Louis checked finally before he began. He saw Harry nodding before he even looked up.

 

“Tell me,” Harry begged softly, reaching out to cup his hand over Louis’.

 

“Well, it’s pretty standard, to be honest. Nick was my colleague and we fell in love. It didn’t happen straight away, we used to go out to lunch and dinner and all kinds of other stupid excuses to spend time together but in the end; we couldn’t avoid the obvious any longer…

 

He was my secretary at the time, he had to leave the company because of our relationship- or I did, but he assured me he wanted to go- and I thought that was a sign of commitment, a sign that we were strong…”

 

Louis sucked in a breath.

 

“I was wrong.” He cast out, his face creasing in memory.

 

Harry wanted to crawl across the table and pull Louis into his lap and rock him, the way he looked so broken. He grasped his hand instead.

 

“What happened?” Harry asked softly.

 

“He was cheating on me with his new boss,” Louis arched a brow. “Walked in on them in his flat-well, you know,” Louis husked his voice breaking. “I still see that picture, you know? Him choosing someone else over me…”

 

“Idiot,” Harry murmured.

 

Louis darted him a look. “Was he? I couldn’t give him the attention he needed, my work always came first. I drove him to cheat,” Louis decided.

 

“That’s rubbish,” Harry denied. “If he loved you he wouldn’t have cheated…sex isn’t worth losing the love of your life over…”

 

Louis regarded him with softness in his eyes.

 

“You’re really so amazing, Harry,” he mused.

 

Harry smiled.

 

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that,” Harry offered.

 

Louis nodded, letting out a breath of relief, almost, now it was out there.

 

“I don’t know what to say except I don’t want to let you go but I also can’t be what you want me to be…” Louis appealed.

 

Harry brushed his thumb over Louis’ knuckles.

 

“It’s okay, don’t worry about that now…” he soothed.

 

“Of course I worry about it,” Louis snapped. “You look amazing tonight, god, I could rip that shirt off you and take you on this table but I can’t…” he sighed. “I can’t because I know that sleeping with you is the worst thing I can do…”

 

“Why?” Harry frowned, beginning to feel a fear worming in his belly.

 

He finished his glass of wine and Louis poured another, batting away the waiter to do the honors himself. He noted Louis’ protectiveness over him again but it didn’t mean anything with his harsh words still ringing in his ears. Their starters were delivered and they began to eat, Louis considering his answer in taut silence.

 

Finally, he expelled a breath.

 

“Because you deserve more than me as your first time,” Louis remarked.

 

“You said you wanted to,” Harry accused quickly, slugging back more wine.

 

Louis regarded him.

 

“Just because I _want_ to do something doesn’t mean I _should_ …”

 

Harry laughed out loud, probably the most unhumoured laugh Louis had ever heard.

 

“Oh god, I should have seen this coming,” he lifted a brow cynically.

 

Louis frowned.

 

“Harry…”

 

“No, really, it’s okay; I’ve heard it all before. The only difference is you actually like guys instead of the other jokers I dated…”

 

“Haz, it’s not the same thing. I-”

 

“You don’t want to be my teacher, I get it,” he pressed his lips together, his starter pushed to the side.

 

“No, that’s not it,” Louis denied quickly, his eyes darkening. “I should never have mentioned it,” he blamed himself tiredly.

 

“But you did,” Harry challenged. “Which means ever since you told me you wanted to sleep with me, you’ve been talking yourself out of it and actually, I’m glad, really. Because I wouldn’t want to have my first time with someone like you, only to have you walk out on me.”

 

Louis flashed him a dark look, annoyed at his recalling of their first kiss when Louis had walked away. For him to suggest he could do the same after sex left him hurt and a little bit stung. Mostly because Harry was right. He _was_ capable of that kind of idiocy. But if only Harry knew it was because he was so scared, so fundamentally frightened of being his first and not being able to live up to the pedestal he’d placed him on.

 

Louis couldn’t think of anything to say in response to Harry’s angry accusation so he sipped his wine, pouring Harry another which he knocked back with alarming disregard. He decided it was best not to mention it and ordered another bottle.

 

“Maybe Zayn would be interested in the job since it seems like such a hard task,” Harry mused, sipping his fresh glass of wine as Louis poured again.

 

Louis licked his lips, trying not to rise to the bait. When their mains were delivered, they ate in stony silence, Harry forcing the food into his mouth and chewing with a mission, pushing it down his throat where it was threatening to revolt and reappear.

 

 _Fuck that_ , he was going to eat this meal and enjoy it, he decided resolutely.

 

“I’m sorry,” Louis expressed as he lay his knife and fork down. “I know it’s not what you want to hear, I really had no intention of bringing all this up tonight…”

 

Harry snorted, draining more wine.

 

“No, you thought you’d wait until you were about to put your dick up my ass and tell me then,” Harry suggested crudely; his comment making Louis blush.

 

Louis blinked, realizing how much he had hurt the young man in front of him and it hurt him, too, but he wondered if it was better to let him go now, while he hated him and could find someone to mend his big heart. Because Louis was sure Harry wasn’t in love with him, he was just fascinated by him; enthralled even. There was nothing more to it and so if they ended things now, he still had a hope for those hearts and flowers they’d talked of.

 

Louis paid the bill so they could make a quick exit before things really degenerated and he was concerned to see Harry unsteadily making his way out; the wine clearly having gone to his head.

 

He drifted closer; ghosting him in case he needed support but keeping his distance so as not to aggravate Harry’s already emotional state.

 

“Anyone want a fuck?” Harry called as he staggered down the street; his loud yell making Louis wince.

 

Harry tripped over his own feet and fell into a heap, instigating Louis to dash over.

 

“I’ll take you home, princess,” a tall, dark-haired, equally drunk guy winked at Harry on the ground.

 

“Finally!” Harry cheered as Louis quickly intervened, gently putting a hand to the tall-guy’s chest.

 

“He’s actually with me,” Louis explained.

 

Tall guy made a face.

 

“He wants a fuck.” He argued.

 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Harry chanted as he rolled around on the ground, much to Louis’ bemusement. He’d barely heard Harry swear before and now he was chanting swear words.

 

He put a hand out to cup his arm, at least stopping him from rolling far enough to smack his head on the concrete.

 

“Sorry, he doesn’t know what he’s saying,” Louis told the other drunk.

 

“Oh, fuck,” Harry groaned, pressing his thighs together. “Need to pee.”

 

Louis frowned, exasperated. He needed the drunken guy to go away already; and now he needed to find a toilet; or a place where Harry could relieve himself unseen. He decided to aim for the churchyard, knowing there were trees. It was only a short walk and he could bet his life none of the restaurants would let him in this state.

 

“Harry, you need to get up,” Louis instructed, hooking his hands under his armpits to hoist him.

 

“No, I like the floor,” Harry hugged the concrete and Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“Hey, he doesn’t want you to take him anywhere,” the drunk challenged and Louis stood up straight to face him, knowing his height was a disadvantage here.

 

He sighed. _Okay_ , he might have to take a punch, but it would be worth it to knock this guy flat on his back and get Harry the fuck out of there. One…two…three...

 

“Ah, fuck!” Louis turned his face away as the blow struck; quickly moving to put his return strike in; knocking the other guy off his feet.

 

He quickly crouched down to where Harry was lolling and realized he was giggling manically.

 

“You hit him! Oh my god, you hit him!” He gasped,

 

“Harry, come _on_ ,” Louis urged. “I need to get you up so you can pee…”

 

Harry bit his lip and sucked in a breath; a naughty smile coming to his lips as his eyes shone.

 

“Oops,” he giggled; all limbs and hair.

 

Louis frowned.

 

“What do you mean oops?”

 

Harry looked down his body to the dark patch on his already dark jeans that no-one else would really notice. The smell of ammonia soon clued Louis off though. He sighed; blinking his eyes several times to keep his cool. This was his fault, he realized, his doing. If he hadn’t had said those things to Harry, he’d never have drunk all that wine and gotten completely out of it.

 

He tucked his arms under his body and staggered into a standing position with Harry’s hefty weight in his arms.

 

“Wee!” Harry cheered as Louis rose; clinging to his neck. “My man,” he yelled to passers-by. “You can’t have him, he’s mine!”

 

Louis smiled bashfully at those who looked; some actually wishing him well which he didn’t think was necessary but still…Harry was being all kinds of unreasonable under the influence so he had no choice but to take him home.

 

So take him home he did, where he patiently stripped him; forced him in the shower and then dressed him in fresh underwear, a t-shirt and some jogging pants; leaving him tucked up in his bed while he took the sofa.

 

Halfway through the night Louis heard him stumbling about; being sick and he rubbed his back and watched him sick it all up; offering him water and guiding him back to bed.

 

He didn’t like to just leave as Harry curled up in a fetal position so he hovered by the bed; sitting down on it in case he had to throw up again.

 

“I’m such an idiot,” Louis whispered into the room, closing his eyes painfully.

 

“Fucking idiot,” Harry agreed hoarsely from the bed.

 

Louis twisted, surprised he was lucid. He barely was, his eyes were closed and his body was prone. Louis lifted up his feet and rolled onto the bed; spooning behind Harry’s body. He rhythmically stroked his curls back, soothing his skin.

 

“Hmm,” Harry murmured in half-bliss.

 

Louis tucked his arm around him; holding him close.

 

“I’m such a fucking idiot, Harry, can we forget tonight? Can you forgive me?” He begged.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

Louis rested back, nodding. “I know, right? I fucked it all up…”

 

Harry nodded.

 

“I fucked it all up and I don’t know how to make it right,” he murmured to himself.

 

“Don’t dump me,” Harry suggested candidly, making Louis choke back laughter.

 

“That’s probably a good place to start,” Louis considered. “But we’d have to be official for me to dump you…”

 

“Oh,” Harry murmured. “Yeah…”

 

Louis bit his lip, peeking over Harry’s shoulder to his pale face, his eyes still closed and if anyone looked at him, they’d think he was fast asleep such was his position on the bed.

 

“Well?” Louis husked.

 

“Wellwhat?” Harry mumbled.

 

“Would you think about it, maybe? About being my boyfriend?” Louis wondered.

 

Really, his timing was so off he could laugh at it. Not to mention his execution, it was like he had brought Harry down only to bring him up again, but that wasn’t it, it really wasn’t. He didn’t want anyone else to hold Harry while he was being sick; or pick him up in the street, or fuck him for that matter.

 

He smirked as he remembered the blow he’d taken to protect Harry’s modesty. Well, he deserved it, he acknowledged.

 

“Maybe,” Harry finally replied, sleepy and dozing off. “Be yours,” he added, not making sense.

 

“I’ll be yours, too,” Louis promised.

 

“Maybe,” Harry agreed right before he drifted off.

 

//

 

Louis was up preparing breakfast ready for when his patient awoke. He guessed Harry wouldn’t feel comfortable waking up in his bed with him there so he’d decided to give him a bit of space and come out into the kitchen, even though he had no cooking skill whatsoever. Instead, he decided to cut up fruit and make a light, healthy breakfast since Harry’s stomach probably wouldn’t be able to cope with too much this morning.

 

When Harry dragged himself into Louis’ kitchen, he looked like death warmed up and Louis couldn’t help but swallow guiltily. It was his fault Harry was suffering, he would have to try and make it up to him somehow…

 

He frowned, not finding words to greet him, to make this any less awkward than it clearly _was_. He waited for Harry to slide into a chair, nursing his aching head and then he brought over a pint of orange juice and some painkillers.

 

“These might take the worst of it off,” he offered gently.

 

Harry turned his head, squinting at him.

 

“What happened?” He asked groggily.

 

Louis blinked. _He didn’t remember?_

 

“Uh…”

 

“Wait, do you have a _black eye_?” Harry squinted, moving swiftly to look, wincing shortly after as he shut his eyes until his stabbing headache receded again.

 

“Yes, I do,” Louis nodded.

 

Harry squinted, watching as Louis took a seat beside him and laid two bowls of fruit on the table.

 

“Why do you have a black eye?” Harry asked.

 

Louis ate a cherry, spitting out the pip.

 

“You really don’t remember anything?” Louis checked.

 

In a way, he was glad. It would serve him a benefit if Harry had amnesia.

 

“You told me you didn’t want to sleep with me, I drank some wine and…” Harry frowned, searching for more, coming up blanks.

 

Louis sucked in a breath. _Great_ , so he only remembered the bad part.

 

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to sleep with you,” Louis offered gently. “I said I _shouldn’t_ sleep with you, that it’s for the best, because I would only end up doing this, fucking things up…” He sighed, swallowing down the husk in his throat.

 

Harry gazed at him, reaching for some melon and sucking on it. The sight had Louis trying not to groan out loud.

 

“Doesn’t explain your black eye,” Harry observed. “Unless I punched you?”

 

Louis smirked. “You should have, but no. It wasn’t you. It was a guy who took a fancy to you while you were rolling around in the street asking people to fuck you…” Louis recounted.

 

Harry blinked, he gaped and he blinked again.

 

“I…I didn’t did I?” he gasped.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“I came to save you but he thought you didn’t want to go with me so…”

 

“He hit you?” Harry frowned.

 

“He hit me,” Louis echoed.

 

“You took a punch to protect me?” Harry checked.

 

“I think it was the least I could do,” he considered.

 

Harry didn’t deny that. He turned again and looked at Louis’ eye; reaching up to brush the pad of his thumb down the outer side; where Louis closed one eye cutely; his crinkles appearing as he smiled and his lashes long and beautiful on his cheek.

 

“For me?” Harry said again, awed.

 

Louis nodded, breathing out.

 

“You’re worth it,” he assured.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“But not worth sleeping with?” He asked, confused and hurt.

 

Louis shook his head, Harry's hand falling to cup his cheek and he turned his face into his large palm, his tender touch.

 

“I’ve never been anybody’s first,” Louis admitted then. “It scares the shit out of me.”

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“It scares me, too…”

 

“Not in the same way,” Louis shook his head; letting Harry take his hand back as his body grew weak from holding there. “You’re afraid of how it will feel, I’m afraid of-” He stopped, sucking in air.

 

“Of what?” Harry begged quietly, huskily.

 

Louis fixed him with his intense blue gaze.

 

“I’m afraid of falling in love,” he said honestly, the most truthful he had ever been, he realized.

 

Harry’s breath hitched in his throat and he didn’t know what to make of his admission.

 

“I told you that I don’t just fuck,” Louis reminded. “But the last time I made love with anyone, I got my heart broken.”

 

“I wouldn’t ever do that,” Harry promised lowly.

 

Louis nodded. “That scares me even more,” he mused.

 

Harry couldn’t understand his words, their meaning. His head was pounding and he was struggling to keep up.

 

“I think I need to go back to bed,” he decided of this mess of confusion.

 

Louis smiled. “Okay,” he nodded.

 

Harry smirked.

 

“Will you give me a lift home?” He asked.

 

Louis shook his head and Harry frowned, bemused. Louis stood and held out his hand.

 

“Come on,” Louis murmured, and Harry realized he was inviting him back to bed.

 

Harry stared at him, a long and weird moment where Louis wasn’t sure if he was going to forgive him. And then he slipped his hand into Louis’ smaller one; standing to tower over him.

 

“Lead the way,” Harry said.

 

And Louis did just that.

 

//

 

“I really should shower again,” Harry mused as Louis gently tugged him along the corridor. “Thanks for last night, by the way…” he added softly.

 

Louis smirked, taking a detour to the bathroom.

 

“You had an accident in your jeans; I thought you’d appreciate the clean-up…”

 

Harry frowned. “What kind of accident?”

 

“You pissed yourself,” Louis reminded candidly, trying not to laugh.

 

Harry blushed, deep and hard. Louis once again swallowed a sound of appreciation.

 

“I-I’m sorry,” Harry stuttered, mortified.

 

“You were giggling like crazy about it,” Louis twinkled. “It was kinda funny…”

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“I had no idea…I must have been awful…”

 

Louis shrugged. “Well, it was my fault so…”

 

Louis began to undress, reminding Harry that they came into the bathroom for a reason, but he was confused.

 

“I thought I was having the shower?” Harry checked.

 

Louis smiled at him patiently.

 

“I’m going to wash you,” he said, just like that, as though this were perfectly normal behaviour in these kinds of circumstances.

 

Harry choked down a swallow; his throat deciding not to work all of a sudden. His lungs were also struggling, he noted.

 

“You’re what?” He whispered, stunned.

 

Louis rolled his eyes, naked and unembarrassed. Harry tried not to flush at the sight and failed, dragging his eyes over Louis’ beautiful naked body.

 

He began to shake his head until Louis cupped his face.

 

“Don’t think about it,” he instructed, tugging at Harry’s tee, pulling it off.

 

Harry slowly drew down his borrowed joggers, feeling shy.

 

“Feel like such a baby,” he sulked as Louis gently pushed him toward the large shower; starting up the water and stepping in.

 

Harry joined him, all hunched and vulnerable.

 

“Harry, god,” Louis sighed; wrapping his arms about his big shoulders; tiptoeing to reach.

 

“I know, I’m too much,” he sighed.

 

“No,” Louis denied, bringing his face up, kissing his lips. “Never too much.”

 

Harry blinked and Louis sucked his lip, slowly reaching for the shampoo bottle as the water rushed down their bodies, Harry’s noticeably paler than his own which made him smile.

 

“Put your head down,” Louis asked, pouring shampoo into Harry’s curls and beginning a lovely slow thorough massage; letting the scent of the shampoo infiltrate the shower as he worked his hands through that mass of hair.

 

Harry lifted up and flicked back his soapy strands as his back began to ache.

 

“Hurts,” he explained as Louis frowned.

 

Louis took the shower head down and gently washed away the suds; squeezing out conditioner next which he gently applied in slow strokes; making sure he kept his gaze locked with Harry’s as he did so. He wanted this young man to know how much he was worth, that he deserved this worship. He wanted Harry to know what he meant to him; how much he wanted to be here in this shower right now. And more than that, he wanted him to know that he was falling for him-way too hard and way too fast, but he was, because right now, he wouldn’t give Harry up for the world, with his curls unkinked and his lower lip stuck sulkily out.

 

“Stop sulking,” Louis chided gently, pressing against his chin.

 

Harry managed to drag up the corner of his mouth.

 

“That’s better,” Louis derided drily, making Harry smile.

 

Louis saw him fidget, pause, then he moved and he found himself wrapped tightly against Harry’s body; his big arms around his middle clutching him close.

 

“Lou,” Harry murmured; and Louis wasn’t sure if he was calling him or not, he just hugged him back; arms around his shoulders once more.

 

“I’m sorry, Harry,” Louis expressed then. “I’m so sorry…”

 

Louis reached to kiss his wet hair; placing those kisses all over.

 

“I’ve been such an idiot…I really have…”

 

Harry squeezed him, leaning his head to kiss his neck.

 

“S’okay,” he murmured, distracted in his objective.

 

Louis sucked in air as Harry’s beautiful lips raged war on his skin.

 

“It’s _not_ okay, you shouldn’t forgive me,” he denied. “Tell me to go fuck myself,” he suggested.

 

Harry moved a little, leaning toward his ear.

 

“ _Go fuck yourself,”_ he said lowly, quietly and it made Louis hard in an instant. How was that a turn-on, he wondered? How did Harry make swearing sound so sexy?

 

Louis groaned and almost took his advice; forcing himself not to touch his own dick.

 

He grabbed the shower-gel and went back to his original plan; washing Harry’s torso with more care and attention than was probably strictly necessary but he couldn’t get over his clean white skin and his extra nipples; the way his shoulders curled; the lovely expanse of his back.

 

He placed kisses there; and on his shoulders as his hands worked lower; soapy and slippery as they curved over his backside; slipping between his cheeks daringly.

 

Harry gasped out loud; the sensation beautiful but foreign. He’d had a little fun; but not enough, he mused. His butt was a place that Louis could happily conquer if he was willing.

 

“Hmm.” Louis paused behind Harry, taking extra time to wash his thighs, between his legs; over his belly and back down over his ass again.

 

Harry dragged shaky fingers through his straight-wet hair and let out a ragged breath; his dick responding to the stimulation even in his half-cut state.

 

“Lou,” he choked out his name as Louis bent him forward so that he had to put his hands to the glass for balance.

 

“Shh, I’m not going to hurt you,” Louis soothed gently, still kissing his skin as the water ran down, steady and constant like Louis’ touch.

 

He bent his elbows, leaning on his arms now as he tried to get into the right place for whatever Louis was planning.

 

Louis ran gentle, exploring fingers over his skin again; avoiding the one place Harry wanted to feel him, needed to feel him, already. He’d never done this, never been this intimate and never let anybody broach his body.

 

But he was letting Louis.

 

They had made progress, he considered, even if he was scared as fuck right now, he knew that Louis was the right person. It had to feel right, that’s what he’d said, and this did…it felt so, so right…

 

Louis reached around him to wrap his fingers around his hard-on; leaning his own against the crack in his backside, right between his ass cheeks.

 

Harry sucked in air; pushing back instinctively; drawing a groan from Louis’ lips.

 

“Fuck, Harry…” he complained breathily which Harry didn’t really count as a ‘no’.

 

Louis’ fingers were drawing closer; slipping between his cheeks now, a little roughly with only water and then he felt Louis’ muscled body reach across his for another bottle which Harry guessed was lube and he gasped as he felt his thumb press into his hole.

 

He bowed his head; surprised at the pleasure of the sensation, always assuming anal would only ever mean pain.

 

“Ungh,” he gritted his teeth; pressing his weight into the glass as Louis gently parted his thighs, causing Harry to widen his feet, changing his stance to an even more dependent one. Without Louis behind him; holding him this way, he’d likely topple and fall- his usual practice, really.

 

Louis reminded him he had a hand around his dick as he shifted it up and down, thumbing over his head which made Harry bite his lip in pleasured agony.

 

“What did I tell you about making noise?” Louis asked his voice torn with husk.

 

Harry groaned; pushing back on his thumb.

 

“Hey, easy,” Louis retracted his thumb and replaced it with a lubed-up finger-tip; working around the edge before pushing in, slowly.

 

Harry tightened around his digit, already, only a small invasion compared to Louis’ dick and he felt ridiculously under-prepared for this moment. He should have touched himself, used a plug, even, Anything but this excruciating introduction which was beyond anything he’d ever done before.

 

“Harry, have you never…?” Louis wondered as he pushed his first finger right in; stroking Harry’s dick in his other hand to ease any pain he might be feeling.

 

So far, Harry had felt only pleasure.

 

“Nobody ever wanted to before,” Harry managed in a low, husky voice, pushing back again, feeling Louis’ digit inside him and wondering how it would feel to take his dick; whole, right up inside…

 

He jerked into his hand, needing stimulation there; then he pushed back, wanting more inside of him, wanting to feel this fullness that everybody talked about.

 

“I want to,” Louis gasped as Harry fucked his hand from one side and his fingers from the other. “God you don’t know how much…”

 

Harry dipped his head again, biting his lip.

 

“More,” he begged.

 

“Harry, shush,” Louis commanded softly, not knowing if he would last if he gave Harry the more he was asking for. His balls were tight and his erection was against his belly. He might not see out the next five minutes, he mused.

 

“Please,” he begged. “Daddy, please…”

 

Louis moaned as his body gave way; releasing his orgasm and his seed in quick spurts over his body; some falling on Harry’s ass which Louis tried to ignore.

 

“Fuck,” he sighed defeatedly, concentrating back on the task at hand.

 

He slipped a second finger in to join his first; curling those tips until he met Harry’s prostate; stimulating him there while he stroked his still-hard erection.

 

Harry whined under his touch, clearly in another world now; spread across the side of the shower and begging for more. Louis gave it to him, pushed his fingers in as though he was fucking him; stretching them out to ease the tightness of Harry’s virgin ass but he knew that when they came to sleep together; this would still be painful for the younger lad.

 

“Harry, are you sure you want this?” Louis asked; even if they weren’t going to have sex right now.

 

Harry nodded and pushed back; again and again as Louis pushed in; stretching his body and his limits as Louis knew he’d be sore tomorrow.

 

“Come for me, Harry,” he murmured in his ear; bringing him tighter in his other hand as he tugged at him.

 

Louis leaned over him, simulating being in charge, simulating being in him as his fingers worked; and his hand worked and he kissed down Harry’s back, sucking bruises into his shoulders.

 

“Come on, Harry, come for Daddy,” he coaxed.

 

“D-ah!” He threw his head back, his throat closing as Louis pressed into him, the weight of his hips against the hand that entered him; forcing his dick further into his tight hand at the same time.

 

“Yes,” Louis hissed. “Jesus, yes,” he curled his fingers again; knowing he was about to ruin the boy in his arms.

 

“N-no…no! Oh god…oh f-” Harry muttered senselessly as his body rose to its peak in slow, glorious techniclour.

 

He could see stars, rainbows even and his body was on the edge of the sweetest waterfall, about to be flushed out…

 

“Louis!” He cried as it came; his climax in full, heavy force, in sweet rivulets of pleasure as his body finally peaked; emptying him of seed and energy besides.

 

Holy hell, Louis mused quietly as he grasped Harry around the middle to keep him upright; supported on the shower side. Holy fucking hell. He was a lost man…Honestly, how did he think he could ever be safe? How did he think he couldn’t love this boy? How did he ever think he had any hope?

 

There was none. And he didn’t care.

 

Because as he stroked gentle hands down Harry’s wet and trembling body; tenderly bringing his hair out of his face; placing loving kisses upon his shoulders and his back, he knew without a doubt that he was already gone for him. Already madly in love. Already a lamb to the slaughter.

 

Harry was shaking, almost so badly he couldn’t get upright; and that also had a lot to do with the fact that when he tried to close his thighs, he felt soreness in his behind.

 

He swallowed, feeling vulnerable, feeling embarrassed of his reactions.

 

“Fuck, you’re beautiful,” Louis moved in front of him, cupping his face with both hands so he could study his lazy green eyes and swollen lips. “So, so incredibly beautiful…”

 

“If you call me princess, I’ll kill you,” Harry warned raggedly with a shiver.

 

Louis had turned the shower off- probably to stop them both drowning- and the cooler air on his wet skin felt chilly.

 

Louis chuckled at his joke and wrapped his arms around him.

 

“Ready for that extra sleep?” He checked.

 

Harry nodded, shuffling out of the shower where he let Louis dry him- mostly because he didn’t have the energy to do so and he dressed into some more of Louis’ clothes before sitting on the edge of the bed with a wince- which he tried to cover but not before Louis noticed.

 

“I hurt you,” Louis observed with a sigh, curling up facing Harry; pulling him into his body in a protective hug.

 

Harry squirmed and re-positioned himself so that his head was in Louis’ lap as he curled up and Louis instantly tangled his fingers into his hair, his other hand cupping Harry’s upper arm; resting across his body.

 

He ran his fingers through his damp hair soothingly.

 

“You didn’t hurt me, Lou,” he said then, softly, his voice deep and hoarse, his arms crossed; resting on Louis’ thigh.

 

“You’re in pain,” he rephrased.

 

Harry shrugged. “Could have been a lot worse with someone else…”

 

Louis blinked. He didn’t want to think about the idea of someone else, full stop. Let alone someone else touching Harry. Touching Harry in _that_ way. And hurting him from being too rough.

 

Louis let his hands soothe over him protectively.

 

“Not gonna happen, okay?” He assured.

 

Harry cuddled into him; comforted.

 

“Louis?” He said then, his voice small and shy.

 

“Hmm?” Louis leaned his head back, feeling his eyes grow heavy and tired.

 

“Thank you,” he extended. “I mean, I’m sorry that I’m not…you know…any good at this, but I really appreciate this…you taking the time to show me and…well…being patient.”

 

Louis smiled softly at his tendency to babble.

 

“I wish you’d get out of my lap so I could hold you,” he murmured amusedly. “But you shouldn’t be thanking me…it’s what you deserve, Harry,” he said strongly.

 

Harry sighed, shifting so that he faced Louis, still curled up with his arms crossed over his chest. Louis snuggled closer; taking him in his arms; letting Harry get comfortable; resting his head on his shoulder; slipping one arm across his waist and sliding the other between their sides.

 

Louis leaned over and kissed his forehead; then his cheek; finally his jaw.

 

“That’s better,” he decided of his ability to protect Harry now.

 

“I could be yours,” Harry said then, words that didn’t make much sense to Louis.

 

“Hm, what?” he hummed softly.

 

“I could be yours,” Harry repeated. “You talked about it, about being ‘official’,” he reminded.

 

Louis was surprised.

 

“I thought you didn’t remember?” He gasped.

 

Harry shrugged. “I remembered that.”

 

“Why didn’t you say?” Louis wondered.

 

“Because I wasn’t sure,” Harry murmured. “If you still meant it…”

 

“Why the heck wouldn’t I?” Louis asked, starting to get angry which Harry eased by reaching over to kiss his neck placatingly.

 

“I don’t know. Nothing in my head makes sense…” he admitted.

 

“Does being with me make sense?” He asked.

 

Harry swallowed. As confusing as things were; how he felt when he was with Louis was a no-brainer.

 

“Yes.”

 

Louis nodded; hugging him tight, kissing his temple.

 

“I don’t deserve you but if you were mine, I’d try and make up for the mess I’ve made of things so far…” He ventured.

 

“Hold me,” Harry murmured, even though Louis already was.

 

“Always,” Louis promised softly, knowing Harry hadn’t confirmed their status and knowing he had to give him time to think about it all.

 

“Go to sleep, Daddy,” Harry sighed sleepily.

 

“Good idea,” Louis mused, letting sleep overcome his weary mind.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh My God
> 
> You have to read (quiet like a fight) fingers laced together by decadent (kitten Louis) and Wild And Unruly (Cowboy Harry) by 100percentsassy, gloria_andrews.
> 
> Both absolutely amazing fics!
> 
> Hope you enjoy mine too haha!  
> Ang

** chapter 10 **

 

When Harry woke up next, he had Louis in his arms.

He wasn't sure how or when they'd shifted roles; him becoming the protector but he savoured the moment; gently kissing into Louis' too-long hair and as Louis burrowed into his throat, Harry felt the sexy scratch of his beard against his neck.

He pulled him closer, tightening his arms. He couldn't be this clingy usually; couldn't revel in his girly side as much as he'd like. He took the opportunity with both hands.

"Don't crush me," came Louis' sleep heavy voice, papery and rough.

"Might,” Harry rumbled teasingly. Louis smiled. 

Harry felt his lips move against his skin where Louis was still plastered. He sighed contently.

"I don't want to move anyway", he admitted. 

"Me either," Harry agreed. Louis felt a smile slip onto his lips, a smile he hadn't expected. 

" Good."

"But its gone three and we've done nothing with our Saturday yet..." Harry commented. 

"I owe you a dinner," Louis mused right off.

"Nah, don't worry, " Harry assured. 

"I want to take you out, properly, without being an idiot," he added. Harry smirked,  reached his lips down to kiss his messy hair again. "I also need a haircut and shave," Louis decided. 

Harry whined.  "I like you like this..." he pouted.

“I look a mess." Louis derided.  Harry shrugged. “I like it.”

 

Louis lifted his head from Harry’s shoulder.

 

“Will you hate me if I get it cut?” He checked.

 

Harry grinned, that boyish, dimpled smile Louis loved. It was the smile Harry saved for these mornings they woke up together and he wished he could work out how he made that happen because then he’d do that; all the time.

 

“No,” Harry admitted softly.

 

“Good,” Louis shifted from his arms. “Because I’m getting up…”

 

Harry let him; watching him choose clothes for their trip into town, realizing he had nothing of his own to wear.

 

“I put your stuff through the washer-dryer,” Louis told him. “I’ll go get it…”

 

“I need to go home to get my glasses,” Harry explained shyly. “I took my contacts out and I’ve been half-blind ever since…”

 

Louis o’d his mouth.

 

“So you were lying when you said I was good-looking,” he teased.

 

Harry grinned.

 

“Never said you were good-looking, think you imagined that,” he returned with a giggle.

 

Louis squinted and shook his head in mock disgust.

 

“And I let you into my bed,” he tutted.

 

“Never said I was nice,” Harry teased.

 

Louis went out of the room and reappeared with Harry’s shirt and jeans, watching the tall lad sneak into the bathroom to change; despite the fact they had now seen each other naked and done some very intimate things together. He smiled; knowing that was Harry all over. _His_ Harry. If he’d have him…

 

“I’ll wait downstairs!” Louis called through the bathroom door, dressed into his own black skinny jeans and a stone roses tee, his hair a long mess along with the hair on his face.

 

He quickly made them both a cup of tea and some toast which Harry came down and consumed hungrily; while Louis promised him a late lunch as a treat.

 

“Can we go?” Louis checked; his eyes falling down Harry and liking the sight.

 

He was dressed in last night’s clean clothes, smelled of his washing liquid and looked shy, cute, even. He was bashful, Louis could tell. And Harry’s beautiful thighs were showcased in his tight jeans, but he knew his slightly inward-toed way of walking was partly due to the leftover pain in his rear. Probably more of a dull ache by now, he hoped.

 

Harry nodded and let Louis lead the way; startled when Louis grasped his hand as he strode toward his car.

 

//

 

“Are you in much pain?” Louis asked as they made their way to Harry’s house to fetch his eye-wear.

 

Harry lifted his brows and tamed his wild hair back with his fingers.

 

“No, I’m okay,” he assured gently.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“When can I…again?” Harry asked curiously.

 

Louis choked.

 

“When do you plan to?” Louis wondered in return.

 

And did those plans involve him, he wondered?

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“I want to try something…like maybe…” he sighed, blushing hard as the thought came to his mind.

 

Louis reached over and squeezed his knee.

 

“Don’t rush this, okay?” He begged.

 

Harry offered him a wan smile. He wanted Louis inside his body more than he’d care to admit, but he just couldn’t…Louis wouldn’t let him.

 

“Okay,” he agreed, already making other plans in his mind.

 

“Right, here we are,” Louis pulled up where Harry directed him to stop.

 

He jumped out and strode up his path, his long lean legs an enjoyment for Louis to watch and even the slightly uneasy gait of his beau made him smile smugly. He was almost-wincing because of him, he mused. Although he knew Harry wasn’t really hurt at all, just uncomfortable. He wanted to do all manner of things to him to make him forget that feeling, he realized.

 

By the time Harry actually got back into the car, Louis had worked himself up somewhat. He reached across and cupped the back of Harry’s head; kissing him hard and fast; owning his lips with no space for denial.

 

Harry squeaked in surprise but soon melted into submission, cupping Louis’ face and tilting his head to push his tongue into Louis’ mouth, not giving into his demands without making his own.

 

Harry pulled away first; with a heavy swallow. His glasses were smudged and his hair was tousled by Louis’ hands. His body was tight with want; his jeans unforgiving. He’d changed into a white shirt and some converse; back to his old look.

 

Louis was quiet, regulating his breathing the same way Harry was apparently.

 

“You were gone too long,” Louis said gently by way of explanation for his attack.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“I missed you, too,” he offered; making Louis smile and when Harry glanced at him, he too had the tiniest teasing grin on his lips.

 

Louis pulled away and headed into town.

 

//

 

Louis’ hair was shorter. It was the kind of short that could look smart slicked back, or like now- sexy styled up. The hairdresser had pushed it forward toward his face and if Louis had to be completely critical, even he thought he looked kind of good. It brought out the lovely conker-brown hue in his shiny hair and even made his blue-grey eyes pop; something about the hair in his face making his lashes look thicker and darker.

 

Harry was watching him while he stroked his still-present beardy, deciding if he should have a trim or complete shave.

 

“What do you think, Haz?” Louis asked in the mirror, glancing at Harry who was sat on the sofa behind him, sucking his lower lip in a submissive way that was making Louis forget entirely about hair cuts and more about the social etiquette of ravishing one’s sexy partner in the middle of a shop. Not acceptable behaviour, he told himself for the 100th time.

 

“Hm?” Harry looked up, jogged from his own thoughts.

 

“Shall I keep some or shave it all?” Louis asked patiently as his stylist looked between them with a knowing smirk.

 

“Keep some,” Harry said immediately.

 

Louis smiled, looking up to the stylist who was waiting with an electric razor in his hand.

 

“You heard him.” He said softly. “Best leave me a little bristle…”

 

The stylist nodded and trimmed Louis’ beard to a small goatee that was still scruffy-looking but in a sexy way that suited his hair.

 

“You want a haircut?” The hairdresser asked Harry.

 

Harry ran his fingers through his curls thoughtfully.

 

“No, he’s fine,” Louis stood, answering for him with made Harry smile at him fondly.

 

“What?” Louis asked.

 

“Nothing,” Harry assured; following him to the till.

 

“So, do I look alright?” Louis checked.

 

Harry surprised him, taking his chin between his finger and thumb, leaning down to kiss his mouth; running his fingers up his cheek into the stubble left there.

 

“Nice,” Harry murmured as he pulled away; blushing as he realized what he’d just done. The whole shop was staring at them. “Shoot,” he sighed despondently, his shoulders curving instinctively inwards.

 

“Hey,” Louis grabbed his hand and reached up to kiss his cheek. “No hiding,” he said.

 

Harry swallowed and nodded; flicking looks about.

 

“No worrying,” Louis added before he stepped up to pay his bill.

 

//

 

Lunch was taken at a small diner Harry had chosen; one which didn’t serve high class French food or tapas like the places Louis had selected, but as Louis watched Harry consume his burger, fries and shake like a thirteen-year-old, he would have passed up high-class food any-day for this.

 

His burger wasn’t bad, actually, and his fries fresh and tasty. He just had somehow forgotten to be a twenty-two year old among his life of becoming an executive.

 

Harry ventured a look at him; all wide green eyes under his glasses and curly hair pushed off his face.

 

“You don’t like it?” Harry asked as Louis paused from eating.

 

Louis came-to from his avid Harry-watching and smirked.

 

“No, it’s good,” Louis assured quickly.

 

Harry sucked on his straw; slurping up his chocolate milkshake.

 

“Want another?” Louis asked, brows rising with his question and vanishing under his new hair.

 

Harry smiled prettily, his dimples bursting forth.

 

“Go on, then,” he agreed as Louis signaled the waitress over to order more drinks.

 

He went back to eating the remainder of his burger.

 

“Monday is going to be interesting,” Harry mused of their development this weekend. More than friends. Less than lovers.

 

Louis looked up, his long lashes leaving his cheeks.

 

“Are you worried about it?” Louis checked.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“Maybe.”

 

Louis nodded, clearing his throat. He guessed he was worried, too. About if people would notice, about how the office would react if they knew.

 

“We’re keeping it secret?” Harry checked.

 

Louis blinked. “We already were, weren’t we?”

 

Harry nodded, chewing his lip.

 

“I think they’ll reassign me if they know we’re involved…” he aired his worries.

 

Of course, they’d already talked about this before. And then it wasn’t such a problem because it wasn’t serious, it was just kissing. Now…well, now, they’d crossed the kissing threshold into something more.

 

Louis reached across the table, not sure what he was planning really since both of Harry’s hands were wrapped around his fresh glass of milkshake. But it was more the act of showing he was reaching that brought Harry’s eyes to his. They weren’t exactly tenderly intimate like this. There was some way to go in respect of being comfortable together.

 

Harry slid one hand off his glass and wiped his wet fingers on his thigh before sneaking his hand across the table, letting Louis cover his the way he’d originally intended. He felt like he was on a first date, eating burgers and fries and sneaking touches across the table. He couldn’t help his curly smile or the glow on his face as he grinned.

 

“I have an idea,” Louis broached gently, bringing his hand back as he leaned back in the booth seat.

 

Harry slurped up the remains of his second drink and looked up.

 

“Shoot,” he invited.

 

Louis licked his lips.

 

“You could go to California, just for a short time, I need someone to go to head up the ad campaign and you’ve been working on it, so it’d be an excellent opportunity for you to show them what you’re made of,” he suggested. “And it would take the pressure off us, at least for a little while,” Louis added.

 

Harry frowned. “If there’s an ‘us’ then how does my being away help?”

 

Louis darted his eyes to Harry’s, seeing his confusion.

 

“You think a few thousand miles changes anything?” He wondered.

 

Harry looked hurt.

 

“You want to test if it does?” He misconstrued his words.

 

“Haz, of course not,” Louis sighed.

 

Harry shot him a glare.

 

“Sorry that I’m so annoying, Louis,” he bit out, his anger rising. “But when people get together they don’t usually then choose to spend weeks apart…”

 

“It'd be a few days;” Louis argued quickly, fear striking across his features as he realized how Harry was taking his idea.

 

“And when I come back we’re still in the same place,” he pointed out.

 

“You might feel differently about being reassigned,” Louis suggested. “Once you’ve had a taste of the opportunities you could have in this company…”

 

Harry stared at him, really stared, with hard, green eyes and a wounded expression softening his features as his eyes filled with unshed tears.

 

Louis had been trying to get rid of him from the start, he realized. He was becoming one of his secretary boys like his last job. The idea was abhorrent and it didn’t sit right with Harry, but what else was he supposed to think?

 

“I thought we’d want to work together,” he said in a thick voice, his throat closing in as he spoke.

 

“We can’t do both,” Louis murmured. “I’d rather be with you outside of work than inside,” he mused.

 

Harry shook his head, denying his words, the way that he always did when he didn’t believe he was worthy.

 

“Can I ask you something?” Harry asked, irking a brow up.

 

“Of course,” Louis assured softly.

 

“At your last job, how many secretaries did you have?”

 

Louis choked on his own spit; sucking in a breath of surprise.

 

“Five, why?” Louis asked back, curious as to how Harry came to know about this and why he was asking. He couldn’t see what possible relevancy his last job had on anything happening here…

 

“Am I number six?” Harry wondered. “Hired, used and fired when you’ve had enough?” He accused.

 

“Had enough?” Louis repeated, confused. “We’re only at the start of this,” he frowned, wondering if he’d imagined that.

 

Harry threw his napkin on the table and slid along the bench seat to stand up, knowing Louis couldn’t leave until they’d paid- something which Louis had already offered to do.

 

“I don’t want to be another secretary,” Harry said firmly.

 

“Haz, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Louis argued, sliding along his seat too, only to see Harry turn and walk toward the door. “Harry, wait!” he called. “Let me pay and we’ll talk about this!”

 

Louis rushed across the diner to several stares, sighing defeatedly as Harry stormed out; leaving him dumbfounded as to what to do.

 

//

 

“And he walked out you say?”

 

Niall was in the arm chair, slouched down while Louis stuffed popcorn into his mouth and pretended to watch the movie Niall had chosen for them to watch tonight.

 

“Yeah,” Louis shook his head. “I really don’t get it… _at all_ ,” he sighed.

 

“Want me to ring Zayn?” Niall offered.

 

Louis frowned. Wasn’t that all kinds of wrong?

 

“No, it’s okay I’ll sort it out somehow…”

 

Niall already had his phone out of his pocket.

 

“Hey,” Niall grinned as Zayn answered on the first ring apparently.

 

Louis was making mad hand signals for Niall not to say anything.

 

“Yeah, I’m with Louis…yeah, I guessed as much…lover’s tiff, yeah…” Niall giggled and Louis sat, stony faced while his friend discussed him as though he wasn’t sat right there.

 

“Harry’s where? Oh…oh right, yeah, sorry, I’ll be quick…so Louis has no idea what this whole thing is about,” Niall said to the guy on the other end of the line.

 

Louis sat forward as though he’d actually be able to hear Zayn’s words. Niall was suspiciously quiet for the several minutes it took Zayn to explain and he flicked his eyes to Louis several times, making Louis even more nervous.

 

“Right…okay…well, it’s not true, I can promise you that,” Niall said softly and Louis frowned sharply at his tone.

 

This didn’t sound good. At all.

 

“I know, I know you can’t…but can you get him to talk to Lou, do you think?” Niall wondered.

 

Niall bit his lip as he waited for a reply.

 

“Oh. Stubborn, huh?” he mused and Louis planted his face in his hands, knowing how this conversation was going even from only hearing half of it.

 

“Let him cool off…alright, I’ll try and restrain him…” Niall stuck his tongue out to Louis. “Alright, babe, see you tomorrow…” Niall signed off the call and slipped his phone back in his pocket.

 

“Well?” Louis demanded eagerly.

 

Niall swallowed.

 

“It’s not good.”

 

“I guessed that much!” Louis sighed frustratedly.

 

Niall sighed.

 

“He thinks you slept with those guys. The secretaries you had. There’s rumours going round at work, apparently, saying you went through male secretaries because you got bored quick…”

 

Louis lifted his face and gaped; like a goldfish on pause.

 

“What?” He whispered, astounded.

 

Niall shrugged.

 

“I guess having all guys was kinda weird…”

 

“It was a menswear department!” Louis gasped defensively. “All the employees were guys!”

 

Niall made a sympathetic face.

 

“He’ll come round,” he assured.

 

“Not if he thinks I’m a slut and he’s my next bedpost notch!” Louis argued.

 

Niall tilted his head.

 

“Seriously Lou, you couldn’t be that guy if you tried, Harry’s going to realise that…”

 

“Oh god,” Louis sucked in a horrified breath. “I asked him to go to California!”

 

Niall gave him a stupefied look.

 

“He said he thought I was trying to get rid of him! He said he feels like one of my secretaries, used and fired…”

 

Niall frowned. “Did you sleep with him?”

 

Louis shook his head.

 

“It doesn’t matter, though,” Louis swallowed his voice soft and inflected with worry. “He’s probably as scared as me about this whole thing…”

 

Niall’s face softened into a mushy grin.

 

“You love him, don’t’ya?” He accused fondly.

 

Louis glared at him, willing him to take those words back.

 

“No,” he denied. “God no, we hardly know each other…”

 

“Lou, you’re jealous as hell, you called me in a panic to tell me when you’d kissed the guy – not normal for you, to say the least- and you haven’t even slept with him and you’re having kittens over some stupid fight…”

 

“It’s not exactly stupid, is it?” Louis replied softly. “He thinks I’m a man-whore.”

 

“He doesn’t know the truth, that’s all,” Niall objected. “And he thinks you’re sending him away- which you are,” Niall added. “Lou, you’re sending him away,” he said again emphatically.

 

“Because I wanted him to come back and want to take another job and then we could be together without worrying when people find us out. I could get in a lot of trouble for having a relationship with a colleague- my PA at that. You know that,” Louis appealed to his friend.

 

Niall nodded.

 

“That’s a really good excuse, Lou, what else you got?” His friend challenged knowingly.

 

Louis sucked in a breath, finding no air coming out when he opened his mouth. His heart beat painfully hard in his chest; spiking through his skin as his lungs protested.

 

“Oh, fuck,” Louis whispered, blinking his eyes down, realizing the glaring truth in front of his eyes if only he could see it. A truth he’d acknowledged accepted and continued to ignore as it grew inside him, solid and unwavering.

 

Niall nodded and made a ‘told you so’ face as Louis’ realization dawned across his face.

 

“I’m trying to stop it happening aren’t I?” He asked, pale with fear as he darted a look to Niall.

 

Niall cleared his throat. “Well, I didn’t like to tell ya…”

 

“Yes you did,” Louis grumbled softly, happily distracted by Niall’s input.

 

“You love him, Lou,” he said again, within his rights to be smug about this, but refraining for a softer approach.

 

“I do,” Louis mumbled, pressing his lips together, sucking them each in turn. _What the fuck was he meant to do about it?!_ “This is crazy, how the hell did I…? I had walls! I had fucking _brick walls_ to stop this happening…I…” He petered out.

 

Niall shrugged. “You hadn’t met Harry,” he supplied knowledgeably.

 

 _Yes_ , Louis agreed silently, this was all Harry’s fault. All fucking adorable and beautiful and strong and real and blushing- _fuck, who did that? -_ and with his hair and eyes and his stupid throw-back thing he did and-

 

“Lou, it’s not the end of the world you know,” Niall inserted as his friend remained pale and silent on the sofa.

 

“No?” He enquired, looking tired and drawn. “I can’t think of anything worse…”

 

“Worse than falling in love?” Niall made a face. “You’re talking shite…”

 

“Worse than being in a fight, you idiot,” Louis corrected with an eye-roll and a sigh.

 

“Ohh,” Niall nodded, getting it.

 

“I fucked it up, again,” he mused sadly.

 

“No you didn’t. Harry didn’t give you a chance to explain and he needs to listen if you’re going to have a future together,” Niall pointed out.

 

Louis nodded. This much was true. He needed time to think about this, to consider his next move. He changed the subject away from himself.

 

“Speaking of futures together, how’s things with Zayn?” Louis enquired lightly.

 

Niall grinned boyishly. “Yeah, good…”

 

“Just good?” Louis checked, forcing a smile onto his lips to try and assure Niall he was okay.

 

“Well…he’s a little more into it than I am,” Niall explained.

 

“Really?” Louis arched a brow knowingly.

 

Niall smirked. “It’s the first time I’ve thought about it, you know?”

 

Louis frowned.

 

“Thought about…?”

 

“Being exclusive,” Niall shrugged. “I liked having the freedom before, was never one to be tied down and I thought Zayn was the same but then he said something about wanting more than just messing around and it got me to thinking…maybe I want that, too…”

 

Louis nodded, biting his lip to contain his smile.

 

“I’m happy for you,” he said only.

 

Niall clocked onto his silent teasing and jumped up; launching on top of Louis on the sofa where he tickled him into submission.

 

“Horan still has the mightier hands!” Niall crowed as Louis lay beneath him; beaten and defeated.

 

“Get off me, hulk,” Louis pushed him gently away and the two men looked at each other moment before they hugged.

 

“I hope you sort it out with Harry,” Niall said then.

 

Louis nodded. “Me, too.”

 

//

 

Harry had managed to drag his body through a whole morning at work so far. He’d managed to say good morning to everyone; carry out his duties and even found stretching his lips into a smile wasn’t really so hard if he tried.

 

He’d slicked his hair down today; preferring the tidy look, sending a clear message to Louis that his curls were tamed again; even if he did prefer them free.

 

Louis had stayed in his office all morning which had given Harry the freedom to book his flight out to LA and quietly organize the Solo shoot as planned.

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ Misery

 

Okay, what’s happened? You look like you’re about to use that ruler to try and slit your wrists….

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : Happy being miserable thanks

 

It’s not sharp enough, I tried already.

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ Nobody likes a miserable face

 

Why don’t you tell me what’s happened and save the ruler the shame of being a failure?

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 

 _From:_ Harry Styles

 _To:_ Karen Black

 _Subject_ : I like a miserable face

 

Where to begin…

_________________________

Harry Styles

Personal Assistant

Hasting & Co Advertising

 

 _From:_ Karen Black

 _To:_ Harry Styles

 _Subject:_ Kitchen

 

…now.

 

­________________________

Karen Black

Senior Creative Talent

Hastings & Co Advertising

 

 

 

Harry looked up to see Karen already on her way toward the kitchen and he got up to trail after her slowly.

 

“So?” She asked expectantly as they huddled in the corner; close enough for people to think they were kissing if they didn’t know Harry’s sexuality.

 

Harry sighed. “He’s sending me to California. Something about having better job opportunities and not being his PA. We had a fight about it,” Harry admitted then. “I accused him of treating me like one of his secretaries…”

 

Karen o’d her mouth.

 

“You didn’t!”

 

Harry nodded with a blush.

 

“I couldn’t help it, I just-” He gulped. “I thought he was trying to get rid of me…”

 

“Thought?” She ventured gently.

 

He shrugged. “Zayn said not to believe the rumours. To think about it another way. That maybe Louis does want to be with me and us working together isn’t an option…”

 

Karen reached up and cupped Harry’s face.

 

“You don’t want to not be his PA, because you’re scared he’ll fall for your replacement?” She guessed quickly.

 

Harry felt tears prick the back of his eyes at her deduction; something nobody else would ever have known about him. He quickly wiped his tears away as they broke free, feeling silly.

 

“No, no, no,” she denied, shaking her head and pulling him into a hug. “He wouldn’t do that, no way…”

 

“He did before,” Harry hugged her back despondently.

 

“That’s just stupid gossip, you know what it’s like,” she pointed out. “I mean, according to this lot you and I are having a threesome with Liam!” she reminded of the outrageous rumours that spread around the office recently.

 

Harry managed a chuckle, sniffling back his tears.

 

“Yeah, I suppose…”

 

“So, you haven’t spoken to him since the fight?” She checked.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“Go and talk to him now, he’s in his office. _Tell him_ ,” she urged.

 

“What that he can’t replace me with another guy in case he’s prettier than me?” Harry arched.

 

A throat-clearing sounded behind them and his back stiffened as he pulled away from Karen and slowly turned, peeking fearfully at the intruder.

 

Yes, it was exactly who he thought it was _. Joy._

 

“Hi, Karen,” Louis greeted Harry’s friend who dipped out from the counter where Harry had almost trapped her.

 

“Hi, Louis,” Karen smiled professionally as she went back to her desk, throwing Harry a ‘thumbs up’ sign as she went; which he caught over Louis’ shoulder.

 

“So,” Louis said his voice husky and quiet.

 

Harry looked at him then. He looked thinner, somehow, kind of gaunt and…scared? Why would he be scared?

 

“So,” Harry repeated, feeling so incredibly dumb. Dumb and mortified. Great combination for one who suffered so badly with his esteem and his nerves, he mused.

 

“Is that what this is about? You’re worried I’m going to get a guy in and replace you?” Louis posed.

 

Harry gulped, a blush spreading up his face. He lifted one shoulder, realizing how stupid that idea sounded out loud. In his head it had weight; it had sounded real.

 

“It was a thought,” he admitted meekly.

 

Louis slipped his hands into his loose-trouser pockets, nodding thoughtfully. Harry thought he’d be mad at him; irate, even. He was practically accusing him of cheating; something his ex had done and broken his heart so badly doing; something he didn’t think Louis capable of doing at all. Ever.

 

And yet he still didn’t believe he was enough for the handsome accomplished man before him.

 

“I actually have a girl in mind,” Louis offered gently. “One of the juniors who’s worked really hard and not been given her dues,” he commented. “I’ve been giving her more chances to show me if she’s up to the job and she’s impressing me at every step…”

 

Harry nodded, realizing what a great big fucking idiot he was. He bowed his head; ashamed.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said then, his voice thick with emotion.

 

“I’m not mad at you,” Louis assured. “I just-I wish you’d talk to me, that’s all…” He sighed.

 

Harry sucked his lower lip into his mouth, nodding.

 

“I’m sorry, daddy,” he expressed; realizing his slip with flared eyes. “I-”

 

Louis shifted from foot to foot; where Harry’s gaze was still set.

 

“Can I see you in my office, please?” Louis asked, turning and walking away briskly; something which Harry knew signaled his misdemeanor.

 

Louis was turned-on now and it was all his fault. And he couldn’t even really be upset with him because he was hiring a girl to replace him- no more guys, his heart sang happily. No more guy secretaries or PA’s for Louis. _His_ Louis.

 

He let himself into Louis’ office and checked the blinds. They were shut. He closed the door behind him, looking meekly up as Louis turned from where he’d been stood just inside the door. He walked toward him, pressing him into the door as he cupped the back of his head and tilted his face up; making no pleasantries before he kissed his mouth; full and hard; evidencing his desire.

 

He ate Harry’s lips whole; sucked on his lower one, gently bit into the upper one and groaned out as Harry flicked his tongue; their mouths mating with more intent; faces turning opposite ways to allow maximum contact.

 

Louis slipped his arms around Harry’s waist, clutching his back; reaching down to cup his ass; squeezing there, tightly until Harry whimpered; belatedly realizing Louis was working out what underwear he had on.

 

Louis pulled away, panting, looking into Harry’s blown pupils; the sight making him hard in his chinos.

 

“Are you wearing those panties I like?” He asked, palming over Harry’s backside as Harry clutched at his shoulders; his legs shaking ridiculously at such a small stimulation.

 

He sucked in a breath. How did Louis know what he had on? How could he tell through his work trousers? Maybe he couldn’t, maybe he was just testing…

 

“Harry…answer me,” Louis begged in a whisper.

 

He bit his lip and nodded.

 

Louis groaned; dipping his head as though in pain. Harry was about to ask him if he was alright, offer to help him, but Louis moved both his hands to cup his backside roughly; rubbing his hard body against him where Harry found himself arching his back to reciprocate.

 

“Fuck, not now,” Louis sighed of his need.

 

Harry couldn’t move; couldn’t back off, he was flat to the door. But Louis wasn’t letting him, either. He looked around the room, wondering what they could do, how they could solve this. He considered his inexperience and knew a quick fuck wasn’t in the picture, but he didn’t know what else to suggest.

 

“Lou…” he husked lowly, cupping his neck, pressing his thumbs there, stroking the skin.

 

Louis blinked at him, all large pupils and dark eyes.

 

“Sit in your chair…I can blow you off,” Harry suggested.

 

Louis almost startled at his crude words, still not accustomed to hearing Harry talk that way, but when he did, it was so hot.

 

“I have a better idea,” Louis decided, taking Harry’s hand and dragging him across the room, toward the copier.

 

Harry turned and frowned at him nervously.

 

“Do you trust me?” Louis asked.

 

Harry blinked before nodding.

 

“Jesus, Harry,” Louis sighed, closing his eyes, and then reaching up to cup his face in both his hands.

 

“Lou-” Harry began, but Louis stopped him by speaking first.

 

“I had five secretaries because the first guy cheated on me, you might recall,” he sighed. “and the company only employed males- it was a menswear department and we were all guys there…a couple of the new guys I got were useless, mostly, I found them doing things I didn’t approve of-mostly bullying other staff,” he shared. “If my staff don’t share my values then they have to go,” Louis said firmly. “I’m sorry that it didn’t sound that way when you heard about it, but I never dreamt anyone would come up with the ridiculous notion that I slept with all of them,” he rolled his eyes. “And then just get rid of them when I got bored…I mean…I told you, didn’t I? I make love, not fuck. Doesn’t that mean anything?” He implored.

 

Harry cupped his own hands over Louis’ that sat on his face and he held his strong blue gaze.

 

“It means everything,” he murmured.

 

Louis’ body sagged in relief. “Do you trust me now?” he asked again.

 

Harry nodded shyly.

 

“Good, lean against the copier,” he instructed.

 

Harry did so, frowning behind him as Louis shadowed his back.

 

“Remember this?” Louis husked in his ear; slipping his hand across Harry’s belly; over his clothes.

 

It took him back to that day on the boat; their sailing expedition. A day that ranked as one of his happiest so far. He moaned out as Louis’ hand travelled lower; pressing the heel of his hand into the front of his already-tight trousers. He leaned back instinctively; feeling Louis’ hard-on rest against his backside.

 

“Shh,” Louis reminded him to keep his cries to a minimum; making quick work of his flies to unwrap his trousers from his hips; pushing them down.

 

“Lou, we could get caught,” Harry whispered wildly; his erection springing free and filling him with relief.

 

“Let’s hope not,” Louis husked; running his hands over the soft, yellow shorts Harry had on today. “These are so beautiful,” he rasped of Harry’s underwear.

 

Harry let out a little yelp as Louis’ lips pressed a kiss into the dimple in his lower back, first one side then the other.

 

“Dimples fucking everywhere,” Louis sighed; letting his lips roam across Harry’s hips; his hand reached around the front, slowly pumping him as he did so.

 

“What are you-” Harry gasped as Louis dragged a finger under his shorts-band. “What are you going to do?” he finished his question breathlessly.

 

Louis didn’t answer, just carried on kissing; licking across his skin as his fingers dragged down those panties an inch at a time, with tantalizing slowness.

 

As his cheeks were bared; his kisses became more daring. He kissed right into the crack of Harry’s ass; licking there after. It was sinful, dirty and hot and Harry found himself pushing forward into Louis’ tight fist, never more aware that his pleasure was meaning Louis had to forgo his.

 

“I should be pleasing you,” Harry gasped out; shaking his head free of the expending pleasure building inside him.

 

Louis spread his cheeks with his thumbs; silencing that particular worry as Harry fell forward; onto his forearms as they rested on the copier; his trousers around his ankles and his body ripe for the taking.

 

“What do you want me to do?” Louis asked, kissing over Harry’s globes; letting him feel utterly loved in his ministrations.

 

“Daddy,” Harry sighed out; desperate for something, anything, afraid to ask for what Louis clearly intended.

 

Louis blew cool air into the crack of his ass; making Harry shiver and harden in his hand. Louis smiled knowingly, flickering his tongue out; into the darkness he knew only too well would bring Harry even more blinding pleasure.

 

“Oh, please…” Harry cried; humping Louis’ hand now; needing release. “Daddy, please,” he begged.

 

Louis pushed his cheeks further apart; kissed there; then flicked his tongue forth; into the hole he wanted to sink his body into so badly. His own body hardened painfully and cried for release.

 

He quickly unbelted his trousers, taking himself in one hand; letting Harry fuck his other while he pleasured Harry with his mouth; moving his hand and tongue in sync to bring him the ultimate gratification with his expert moves.

 

Harry began to shake his head, fighting his high and Louis thumbed over his head to bring him on; pushing his tongue deep inside; tasting the bitter saltiness of Harry’s skin. He filled him; pumping his own erection as Harry’s needy sounds spurred him on; this venture nothing but a recipe for a messy end but Louis didn’t care right now. He knelt up a little. Pushing his thighs wide apart; pressing his face into Harry’s behind to really reach him; flicking the tip of his tongue upwards, hoping to reach his pleasure-spot; knowing he had achieved his goal when Harry’s longing groan sounded out; dripping with ecstasy as his body trembled in forewarning.

 

“Harry, turn around!” Louis whispered furiously; grabbing his hips and twisting him; taking his dick deep into his mouth as Harry’s body gave way; spurting his seed right down Louis’ throat.

 

Louis felt his own climax hit at bringing Harry off this way and he let his own load spill to the carpet messily; not caring about the stain right now, not caring about anything but Harry’s satisfaction.

 

Louis sucked him; over and over; swallowing his sourness all down; gently pulling away to look up; tousled and ruffled from their quick make-out.

 

Harry was sucking in air, a stunned look on his face.

 

Louis couldn’t help his fond smile as he pulled up his yellow underwear and re-fastened his trousers. He stood, on shaky legs and was soon pulled into an impromptu hug by Harry.

 

“Why did you do that…why…?” Harry gasped.

 

Louis adjusted himself so that he hugged Harry around his lovely wide shoulders.

 

“Because you deserve it,” Louis assured huskily into his ear.

 

Harry began to shake his head again, but only small, astounded shakes.

 

“I…you…I mean…”

 

Louis smirked, reaching to cup the back of Harry’s head as he pulled back a little; flicking his eyes over his soft; beautiful face.

 

“Did you like it?”

 

“ _Shoot_ -yeah,” Harry sighed.

 

Louis kissed his lips, just once.

 

“If I kiss you anymore, every person in this building is going to know about us,” he mused. “Your lips are so red and swollen right now…”

 

Harry blushed and chewed his lower one.

 

“And now you look like you’ve been freshly fucked with that glow on your cheeks,” Louis teased fondly.

 

Harry smiled at him; a becoming twinkle.

 

“Soon, I hope,” Harry admitted.

 

Louis nodded. “Soon.”

 

Harry leaned forward and kissed his cheek; high on his handsome cheekbone.

 

“I’m sorry about yesterday,” he apologized again.

 

Louis licked his now-dry lips.

 

“It’s okay,” he allowed softly. “Just-just don’t leave me, okay?” He asked.

 

Harry made a guilty face.

 

“I booked flights for the advert,” he admitted shyly.

 

Louis blinked.

 

“Well, I told you to, so that’s okay…”

 

“I’m going tomorrow,” he added with a wince.

 

“Tomorrow?” Louis repeated, shocked.

 

Harry shrugged. “Pulled a few strings and got it all together for Thursday,” he shared.

 

Louis sighed.

 

“I wish I’d never told you to go…I was pushing you away,” he admitted then.

 

Harry smiled softly.

 

“And I was running.”

 

Louis looked up, a sudden thought crossing his mind.

 

“You’re not running, now?” He checked.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

Louis cupped his cheek.

 

“I’m not pushing you, either…”

 

Harry smiled softly; his dimples appearing.

 

“Then maybe this is exactly what it should be,” he decided.

 

Louis nodded, agreeing with that. A break apart, work only, a chance to think about their future, too.

 

“Can I see you tonight?” Louis asked unashamedly.

 

Harry swallowed.

 

“Will I sound too keen if I say yes?” He wondered.

 

Louis’ face split into a stunning movie-star-smile.

 

“Nope,” he assured.

 

Harry checked himself, straightened his clothes and his hair and left Louis to clear up the remainder of the mess in his office.


	11. Chapter 11

** chapter 11 **

 

Harry was getting ready to go to Louis’ when a knock sounded on the door. He frowned, wondering if Louis had decided to come to his house after all, so he threw on his chosen outfit of checked slouch pants and white t-shirt and rushed toward the door.

 

He’d washed his hair; letting his curls dry naturally and he’d popped in his contacts; wanting to look casual and cute for Louis. They were planning a night in on the sofa, maybe their first time to just snuggle up, he realized.

 

Harry opened the door with a wide, excited grin. It faded when Zayn smiled back.

 

“Hey!” His friend greeted happily.

 

“Zayn?” Harry frowned, quickly catching the smaller man into a hug as he launched at him unexpectedly.

 

“How you doing?” Zayn asked.

 

“I’m good, but I’m actually busy so-”

 

Zayn rolled his eyes. “Did Niall tell you I was coming?” He said, obviously confusing Harry’s words for another meaning. “Wait…is Niall coming too?”

 

Harry shook his head bemusedly. “No- I wasn’t even expecting-”

 

“Nice try,” Zayn interrupted, looking to Harry’s feet to make sure he had shoes on before he grabbed his wrist and pulled him out; grabbing his keys before he pulled the door up.

 

“Zayn!” Harry gasped. “What are you..?”

 

“I’ve come to intervene,” he expressed. “I’m taking you to Louis’ to sort out this fight…” He explained as he pulled Harry down the corridor by his wrist.

 

Harry smirked.

 

“But we’ve already-” he started, only to be cut off.

 

Zayn arched a brow.

 

“I’m not taking no for an answer…” his friend assured, dragging him across the lawn toward his car.

 

“Zayn, you don’t need to do this, really, it’s all-”

 

“I’m not letting you throw this away,” he said as he started the car and pulled away.

 

Harry rolled his eyes and folded his arms.

 

“If you’d just listen you’d see I’m not,” he muttered to himself as Zayn went on about ‘one true love’ and ‘taking a chance’ and all manner of cheesy crap that Harry didn’t expect the mysterious guy to be coming out with.

 

“You spend too much time with Niall,” Harry finally said as they pulled up outside Louis’ house.

 

“Come on,” Zayn grabbed his wrist to pull him similarly up the yard toward Louis’ door.

 

“Zayn, honest-to-god, will you just LISTEN,” Harry yelled as the door opened before Zayn even knocked on it.

 

“Well hello there!” Niall greeted, his bright blonde hair high in the fringe; his smile wide.

 

Harry closed his eyes painfully.

 

“Hey, sexy,” Zayn kissed Niall on the lips as he dragged Harry through.

 

“Oh, by the way, Zayno, I think we-” Niall began behind him as Zayn- on a mission- pulled Harry into Louis’ living room where Louis was stood; arms folded expectantly.

 

Zayn squinted.

 

The table was set for two; candles burning; a low light and romantic mood about the room. A vase of red roses sat on the coffee-table, clearly intended to be a present for Harry because there was also a pint glass of beer there for him.

 

Zayn swallowed, flicking his eyes to Louis’ less-than-impressed ones.

 

“Um…hi?” Zayn offered meekly.

 

“Louis, I tried to tell him, he wouldn’t listen,” Harry sighed nervously beside his friend; annoyed that their date night was being ruined.

 

Louis nodded, only the merest of a smile on his lips. The way his eyes crinkled told Harry he wasn’t really mad, though.

 

“Seems Niall has the same hearing impediment,” Louis commented.

 

Niall came back into the room with a sheepish smile.

 

“We just wanted to get you talking,” he excused.

 

“We are,” Louis mused.

 

Zayn turned to Harry.

 

“Why didn’t you say something?” He demanded.

 

Harry opened his mouth.

 

“What! I did! Three times!” He exasperated.

 

Louis’ eyes fell to where Zayn’s hand was wrapped around Harry’s wrist still.

 

“Can I have him back now?” He enquired amusedly of Zayn’s possession.

 

Zayn let go of Harry’s wrist with a shy smile.

 

“Sorry…I just thought he was going to make a run for it…” he mused.

 

Harry awkwardly shrugged his shoulders inwards, not sure if he should move across the room toward Louis or stay on the side of the room his friends were stood.

 

Louis put out his hand to invite him over. He went shyly, slipping his hand into Louis’.

 

“So,” Niall said.

 

Zayn sniffed the air.

 

“It smells really good,” he hinted.

 

“Yeah, come on, Tommo, let us stay,” Niall begged.

 

Harry darted Louis a look.

 

“You cooked?” He asked softly, awed.

 

Louis nodded once to agree and smirked at Niall.

 

“This was a dinner for two, I don’t have enough for all of us,” he said.

 

Niall sighed. “Guess we should go then, babe…”

 

“Leave them to kiss and make up,” Zayn agreed; instantly reverting to teasing.

 

Harry rolled his eyes and leaned into Louis’ side; where Louis let go of his hand to wrap his arm around his waist even though Harry were the larger built of the two.

 

“I would see you out, but my date’s arrived,” Louis mused; running his palm gently up and down Harry’s side where Harry almost mewled and caved into him; his ticklish spot broached.

 

“Rightio, then,” Niall turned on seeing the PDA; taking Zayn's hand to gently tug him away.

 

“You take care of him, you hear me?” Zayn said to Louis before he left, suddenly protective over Harry at seeing his friend so submissive with one touch.

 

“I will surely try my best,” Louis promised; leaving Harry's side after all to see them out since they were slow to leave.

 

“Call me, Tommo,” Niall yelled as they finally left and Louis shut the door with a sigh.

 

Harry offered him a bemused smile.

 

“At least they care?”

 

Louis smirked. His hair was that shaggy-forward mess he’d had it styled in the day he’d had it cut and his stubble was neat, trimmed but edgy enough, just the way Harry liked it.

 

“My dinner will be burned at this rate,” Louis chided as he grabbed Harry’s hand and led him toward his kitchen while he served up.

 

“What is it?” Harry asked.

 

“Chicken, stuffed with mozzarella, wrapped in Parma ham,” Louis shared. “With home-made mash…”

 

Harry licked his lips and followed Louis through to the living room again where he served their meals. He brought over Harry’s beer.

 

“I hope you like the flowers,” Louis said softly.

 

Harry nodded, shy, feeling like a teenager all over again. He didn’t think it would matter how many times he and Louis partook in intimate embraces, he’d still feel like a thirteen year old on a first date with butterflies in his tummy when Louis got him flowers.

 

He tried the chicken, pleasantly surprised.

 

“It’s really good,” he commended.

 

Louis let out a breath of relief.

 

“Good…”

 

“It means a lot to me that you cooked,” Harry added afterwards.

 

Louis met his gaze.

 

“You mean a lot to me,” he said.

 

Harry blinked. He couldn’t work it out, how that was so, but he tried to ignore his inner demons to enjoy the moment.

 

“You mean a lot to me, too,” he murmured back.

 

Louis smiled and Harry found the action the perfect thing in that moment. They finished their meal in comfortable quiet.

 

Harry realized there was music playing gently in the background; found himself swaying along to it. He let himself study Louis’ outfit as he brought out ice-cream- his dessert.

 

He was wearing a pair of black jog pants and a black vest; casual and comfy, just like they agreed. He liked feeling this comfortable with somebody, liked having the grandeur of dinner with candles and the homeliness of hand made food and flowers.

 

“What time’s your flight tomorrow?” Louis asked as they settled on the sofa, Harry flicking through the movies to find one they both might enjoy.

 

“Not till four,” he shared. “I’ll leave at lunchtime,” he added.

 

“I’ll see you off,” Louis said, looking over.

 

Harry looked back.

 

“Thank you,” he smiled shyly.

 

Louis reached across and took his free hand.

 

“I wish we could do this all the time,” he commented.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Me, too…”

 

“You’re so different when I get you alone,” Louis smiled fondly.

 

Harry blinked his eyes down shyly.

 

“Less nervous?”

 

“More nervous,” Louis decided. “In a very sexy way…”

 

Harry looked at him, wide green eyes unhidden.

 

“How do you mean?”

 

“Because it’s like you’re thinking about all the things you want to do and you get all embarrassed about it,” Louis observed.

 

Harry swallowed, feeling pain in his chest as his barriers came up, his defenses triggered. He breathed in and out, trying not to let those fears strangle him or worse- make him run.

 

“I do,” he agreed to Louis’ statement; wondering if Louis could accept it.

 

His darkening blue eyes told Harry he could more than accept it. He tilted his head and reached for his hair; pulling him close for a kiss as his fingers pushed into that mess. Harry twisted to reach better; cupping Louis’ neck as he turned.

 

“Mm,” Louis hummed as their mouths met; strong but tender; meaningful and sexy.

 

Harry wanted to do things to him; to pay him back for earlier, to make Louis see stars the way he had from his touch. He quickly shifted, keeping their mouths intact; straddling Louis’ lap which Louis apparently agreed to in spades because he groaned into Harry’s mouth in loud satisfaction.

 

Harry ran his hands over his torso; down over his belly; lower across the front of his pants. He heard Louis suck in a breath, stopped kissing his mouth to kiss his neck instead; placing loving presses of his lips along his collar-bone which was evident above his vest neck-line where his tattoos were showcased.

 

Louis cupped his head and held him there, crying out for more, pressing the palm of Harry’s hand to the front of his pants; showing Harry what he needed; showing him what he did to him.

 

Harry blinked lazily; backing up until he slipped from Louis’ lap onto the floor.

 

“Haz, no…” Louis gasped as Harry’s hands worked at pulling his bottoms off; achieving his goal when Louis lifted his hips to help.

 

“Yes,” Harry sighed; kissing up Louis’ thighs; spreading his large, gentle hands across his belly; digging under him to cup his backside; bringing Louis closer to his swollen lips.

 

He pressed those red buds over his tip; making Louis thrust into his mouth; just like he hoped.

 

He let out a strangled groan; using the support of Harry’s hands under his butt to fuck his mouth; slowly, making excruciated sounds of pleasure as he did so.

 

It was all Harry could do not to deep-throat him and bring him off right there; but he pulled away and climbed back into his lap; letting their mouths meet in a heated exchange; hot, fiery; messy and desired; their kisses owned the other and expired all else between them as nothing became more important than the feel of their lips in union. Their tongues clashed, collided; their teeth bumped and they consumed each other; wholly, grasping at faces and tugging hair to compete.

 

Their still-hard dicks clashed. Harry’s underneath his cotton pants and Louis’ free; tight to his body. They both reached down; taking each other’s; rubbing up and down deliciously to make each other moan. It didn’t matter in that moment who was stronger, wiser, prettier…they were both in unison, both equally being pleasured and pleasuring; the stars aligning to bring their souls onto the same plane.

 

When Harry felt himself near his peak, he pulled away from Louis’ irresistible lips and looked into his eyes; the unadulterated passion there making him cry out needily. Louis wanted him; wanted to be within him and he wanted to take him there, too, just as soon as his body allowed.

 

He reached behind himself, planning to open himself up; giving Louis a chance to sink into him to complete his ecstatic ride but Louis grasped his hand and curled it around the back of his neck; watching Harry as he worked his dick like a pro.

 

Harry licked his swollen lips and blinked heavy lids over desire bright eyes.

 

“Fuck!” Louis hissed; jolting into Harry’s hand; squeezing Harry tighter into his unconsciously, making the other lad cry out, too.

 

“Lou…” Harry whispered; thrusting up into his hand the way Louis was to him. They were both fucking each other’s hands and almost coming apart at the seams watching it.

 

“Say it,” Louis murmured pleadingly. “Say it, Haz…”

 

Harry bit into his lip, forcing his eyes to meet Louis’ even though he felt like closing them and throwing his head back because the pleasure was too much.

 

“Da-addy!” he cried brokenly; his voice catching as Louis slipped his thumb over his tip.

 

“Fuck, yeah,” Louis husked; his peak reached; his body at breaking point and his soul handed over to Harry on a plate.

 

He kept muttering as he came down from his high, not sure if it was his come or Harry’s wetting his hand as he limply kept stroking.

 

“ _Fuck this_ …only you, Haz, only you…”

 

He realized Harry had come seconds after him; coating them both in sticky mess.

 

He lifted his head tiredly as Harry tipped his chin up, kissing him softly, tenderly like he wanted to drink all the love from his lips and feed him with his own. Louis wrapped his arms around him and held him close as he kissed him back; deeply, with intimacy and promise in those tender touches they shared.

 

“Don’t hurt me,” Harry whispered as he pulled away to nuzzle their noses together.

 

Louis Eskimo-kissed him.

 

“I won’t,” he swore, knowing what this meant to the man in his arms, knowing how he hadn’t shared this with anyone else; hadn’t had the promise of real love before. Knowing in fact, how scared he felt, how vulnerable.

 

Louis kissed him some more, gently, in little loving presses; across his cheeks; over his eyes.

 

Harry soon squirmed in his arms.

 

“I think we need to shower,” he suggested.

 

Louis let a slow grin creep across his lips.

 

“Good idea, Harold,” he agreed; waiting for Harry to extricate himself from his arms; moving in a perfectly balanced way with no awkwardness.

 

Harry grasped his hand and led the way.

 

//

 

Harry hadn’t wanted to go home. He’d lain in Louis’ arms; tight and secure and he’d never felt more at home than he had there; on that sofa. He had to pack, of course, for his trip. Which is why he’d gotten up reluctantly at midnight and told Louis he was going.

 

Louis offered to drive him since Harry hadn’t brought himself and when Louis pulled up outside his house, Harry turned to look at him, seeing regret in Louis’ tight features; seeing a longing and a loss all in one go.

 

“Will you stay over?” Harry asked; wondering why he hadn’t suggested it back at Louis’. He honestly didn’t think Louis would want to watch him pack and get next to no sleep.

 

Louis smiled, killing his engine.

 

“Thought you’d never ask.”

 

//

 

Harry packed his case with meticulous care. He’d removed his contacts and slipped his glasses back on and busied himself around his bedroom while Louis watched on from the bed, mildly intrigued by his tendency toward perfection.

 

Harry hummed while he worked, not feeling as awkward as he should about sharing this intimate view of his normal-life. Really Louis should only be privy to the interesting parts of his life; not this mundane ritual and his ridiculous need to fold everything and pack it just so.

 

He glanced toward the bed; finding Louis had drifted off into sleep; a smile gracing his lips. He wondered what he was dreaming about, if it featured him at all. He smirked at his imaginings. Five minutes with the guy and he was Cinderella already.

 

“Oh, Lou,” he sighed softly, zipping his case shut and gently pulling up the duvet to cover his small, sexy body.

 

He climbed into the bed next to him; surprised to find Louis wriggling closer; seeking warmth and comfort. Harry felt like he was the one needing comfort with each step they took deeper into their desires but he couldn’t ever refuse his smaller beau his protection and he opened his arms to hold him; nuzzling into him as they settled.

 

“Love you,” Harry whispered, afraid of his words; of their echo.

 

//

 

Unfortunately, their morning was hurried and limited on affection. Louis had to go back to his flat to get changed for work and Harry agreed to meet him there, ordering a taxi so that he didn’t have to leave his car there once he took off.

 

It was a busy morning at work for both of them and Harry was grateful for the peace and quiet in the car come lunchtime. Louis eased through the town traffic to head for the airport; unspoken words weighing in the air, neither of them sure if they should speak first.

 

“So-”

 

“I-”

 

They spoke together; smiling in bashful acknowledgement.

 

“You go,” Harry murmured.

 

“Last night happened at the worst time,” Louis mused. “Because now I’m going to miss sleeping beside you.”

 

Harry nodded.

 

“No regrets?” He checked.

 

Louis darted him a look.

 

“Fuck, no,” he assured. “You?”

 

“None,” Harry dimpled at him cutely.

 

“How do I make you smile like that more?” Louis asked, enjoying his beauty.

 

Harry shrugged shyly.

 

“Buy me flowers?” He teased.

 

Louis chuckled. “That I can do,”

 

“I’m nervous about going,” he shared honestly.

 

Louis was glad he was sharing his anxieties.

 

“I know. But you know Luke and Greg and there’s a good team over there,” he assured.

 

“Greg is a pervert,” Harry derided.

 

Louis’ eyes clouded over in memory.

 

“So is Luke,” he reminded of their kiss.

 

Harry giggled. “You do realise he’s straight?”

 

Louis flicked him a bemused look.

 

“No…he kissed you?” He argued.

 

Harry rolled his eyes. “He knows about us,” he admitted. “He was making you jealous…”

 

Louis swallowed.

 

“Oh.”

 

“I told him not to do anything…that I didn’t want to play games…” Harry added.

 

Louis nodded, quiet as he drove. Harry glanced at him.

 

“Lou, are you angry?” He asked worriedly.

 

“No,” Louis said softly. “Just…well, it worked,” he admitted. “I was jealous.”

 

Harry gulped.

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“It’s probably a good thing,” Louis decided. “Gave me a kick up the ass…”

 

Harry smiled. _Maybe._

 

“I don’t want to sleep with a pillow in my arms tonight,” he husked, looking out of the window forlornly like a young child.

 

“Me either,” Louis agreed softly beside him.

 

Harry saw the airport appearing in the distance and felt his heart lolloping in his chest. It felt like goodbye, it felt like a threat to what they’d shared, to how far they’d come. He didn’t know why he always felt so insecure since Louis was always reassuring him but he did. He felt vulnerable and afraid of what might happen while he was gone.

 

Louis took his hand as they strode through the airport; booking him in and waiting patiently for the flight to be called. Louis disappeared for ten minutes while Harry picked out women’s gossip magazines for the flight and when he returned he picked up his hand again.

 

“They’re about to call your flight. They’re letting me go through to the lounge with you,” he shared.

 

Harry grinned.

 

“Did you pull your weight, Louis?” He teased.

 

Louis shrugged with a superior smile.

 

“Maybe…”

 

Harry leaned down and kissed his lips, without thinking. He blushed a little as he realized, looking side to side.

 

“Hey,” Louis cupped his cheek. “No hiding.”

 

Harry nodded, letting Louis lead him through to the flight lounge where they sat side by side, heads bowed, hands twined.

 

The flight attendant called the first fifty rows; giving Harry some leeway. He stood up, pulling Louis into him.

 

“It’s just a few days. I’ll be back Saturday night…” He reminded.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Call me.”

 

“Zayn's getting me, it’s his thing now,” he shared as he pulled away. “But he’s dropping me at yours…”

 

Louis’ eyes lit up. “I can’t wait.”

 

“Me either,” Harry tipped his chin up and instigated a kiss; wrapping him close as their mouths took over.

 

“Eh-hem, excuse me?” A female voice interrupted them.

 

Harry blushed hard.

 

“You have to board now,” the attendant smiled kindly.

 

“Oops,” Harry shrugged shyly, seeing all the passengers already on the runway apart from him.

 

He quickly kissed Louis’ lips one last time.

 

“Call me tonight,” he begged.

 

Louis nodded, reluctantly letting go of his hand. Something flashed across his face and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out.

 

 _I love you_ , his brain said, where Harry couldn’t hear. He sighed and shook his head defeatedly.

 

“Lou?” Harry called as he walked away; guided by the flight attendant since he was much like a wily three-year-old not wanting to get on the plane but needing to.

 

Louis looked up and quickly forced a smile.

 

“Enjoy yourself,” he instructed brightly, choking back his real words, his true sentiment.

 

He thought he saw disappointment cross Harry’s crest-fallen face but he decided he imagined it as he turned and headed back to work.

 

//

 

Harry was in his hotel room when his phone bleeped, signaling a text from Louis.

 

**Living it up I hope.**

Harry smiled to himself, settling down into his pillows now that he had a message. He felt like he could relax, like Louis was right beside him.

 

**_In bed actually._ **

**Alone, I hope…**

**_No I met a gorgeous guy at the airport and he’s staying the night…_ **

****

**What’s his name?**

**_Not sure, didn’t exactly ask. He’s texting me right now._ **

****

**While he’s next to you in bed?**

**_Yeah he’s asking me all these questions about you._ **

****

Louis, on the other side of the Atlantic, couldn’t help but snicker at Harry’s play on words, his teasing nature. He so wished he was right next to him; texting him these messages.

 

**He should stop asking questions and just kiss you already.**

**_He’s in my phone, see? So although he’s beside me, he’s not real…_ **

****

**He’s real.**

 

Louis was assured in that fact. Harry was not imagining his fondness.

 

**_He tastes like plastic._ **

****

**Harry, did you just kiss your phone?**

****

**_No, because that would be weird :p_ **

****

**Unlike pretending your phone is your boyfriend which isn’t weird at all…**

Harry stared at his screen, at Louis’ reply and blinked several times, checking he wasn’t imagining things. _Boyfriend?_ What? They hadn’t ever officialised anything; Harry had never answered Louis question about being exclusive. Of course, they _were_ but…But they hadn’t decided. It made him grin uncontrollably at the thought _Louis_ had decided. He’d decided they were an item now, boyfriend and boyfriend…he felt giddy and breathless all at once.

 

**_Having a boyfriend is weird._ **

****

**Oh…*awkward***

**_Wait…what? I mean, good weird. GOOD WEIRD._ **

****

Louis let out a sigh of relief at Harry’s clarification. He’d thought for a moment there he’d overstepped the mark.

 

**It’s 3am I should sleep before people start thinking I’m practicing for Halloween**

**_*pouts* Okay boyfriend, look pretty for the office tomorrow ;)_ **

****

Louis smiled; loving Harry’s teasing nature which he remembered was multiplied in his emails the same way it was his texts. He obviously felt braver hiding his face. He wanted to write ‘I love you’ or some deritive of; but he still felt awkward. He decided on:

 

**Missing you**

**_Plastic doesn’t taste as nice (missing you too)_ **

****

Harry tucked his phone under his pillow and let his mind drift off. Somewhere in the night he felt his phone vibrate and smiled to himself, looking forward to the message when he woke.

 

//

 

As it turned out, the message was from Luke, his new friend and model for the shoot. Harry had woken up hoping for word from Louis but he had none. He guessed Louis’ lack of sleep didn’t help and quickly typed a short message, pressing send before he left the hotel for his busy day ahead.

 

//

 

Louis was struggling to stay awake come lunchtime. He chose to go out for lunch, needing the fresh air and replenishment for his tired body, deciding tonight he would go to bed extra early to make up for his lack of sleep.

 

He might even have a chance of waking up again to text Harry.

 

 _Harry_.

 

Even his name brought a smile to his lips. He was so close to being loved-up and he hated that they were apart but he could only blame himself.

 

“Tosser!” came an aggressive voice; a body charging toward him and shunting him; forcing him to stagger back.

 

“Simon?” Louis checked, not recognizing the bearded man before him. He looked drunk.

 

“S’all your fault! You sacked me because that bitch is sucking your cock! Don’t think I don’t know!” He yelled.

 

Louis looked round, seeing passers-by stopping to watch their encounter. He literally did not know what to do.

 

“Uh, Simon…”

 

“Fuck him good did you?” Simon asked crudely, making Louis grit his teeth.

 

He pulled out his phone and dialed a number.

 

“It’s Tomlinson…I’m in the High Street…” he said and shut his cell again.

 

Simon laughed. “Got some bloody security guard have you?” he goaded. “Fucking little princess bet she was tight as fuck,” he suggested lewdly of Harry, making Louis see red.

 

He swung out, knowing he could floor his opponent easily; he was practiced with drunken yobs, after all. He shook his hand as pain sliced through his knuckles; sighing with relief as a Police car pulled up.

 

A pair of brown eyes met his.

 

“I thought we talked about you hitting people…” The fond voice mused.

 

Louis grimaced.

 

“He called my boyfriend a princess,” he excused angrily.

 

His old friend, Jared, smirked.

 

“Deserved it, then,” he agreed with a shrug. “What’s the story?”

 

“He’s drunk and threatening me,” Louis explained. “Can you chuck him in a cell and sober him up?”

 

Jared nodded, signaling to his colleague to cuff Simon and put him in the car.

 

“We’ll keep him in overnight,” he assured. “How are you doing, anyway?”

 

Louis smiled tightly, still in pain.

 

“Apart from idiots, I’m good…”

 

“You should go to A&E,” Jared suggested. “Want me to drop you off?”

 

Louis shook his head.

 

“I’ll get some ice, I’m sure I’ll be fine….”

 

“Alright, well take care of yourself, Tommo,” Jared winked. “I want to meet this boyfriend of yours sometime, too,” he added as he turned to get into his car; pulling away with a wave.

 

Louis sighed and smiled bashfully at the audience surrounding him. He ducked his head and headed straight back to work, needing some first aid on his hand.

 

//

 

The surf shoot was running amazingly well. Harry was overseeing proceedings and his organisational skills were nothing short of exceptional, his role behind the scenes suiting him perfectly.

 

He and Luke caught up between takes; falling into easy banter and Harry got that feeling again that he’d had before, that this place was special and meant something to him although he still had no reason as to why that might be.

 

He smiled into the bright sky; his trousers rolled up to his knees, clipboard hugged to his chest; his shirt and tank-top a little too heavy for the heat but he’d taken off his tie ages ago.

 

“Hey, selfie,” Luke grabbed his phone as he typed a memo; clicking a picture of them together. “Send it to Louis,” Luke grinned.

 

Harry smirked. “We’re kinda together, now…”

 

Luke’s brows lifted and he high-fived him.

 

“Way to go, Styles…”

 

Harry shrugged. “It wasn’t an easy road, believe me…”

 

“Best things never are,” Luke shared knowingly. “Keep him on his toes, text him,” he winked.

 

Harry watched as Luke ran back into the sea with his loaned board; looking down to his phone.

 

He attached the picture to a new message, not having heard back from Louis at all which made him feel stupidly nervous because he knew he and Louis were for real it was just…where was he?

 

 _Keeping dry_ , he typed, pressing send.

 

He and Luke were stood close, thumbs up; Luke’s arm around his shoulders. It was a pally pose; nothing more. He nodded, satisfied and got back to the task at hand.

 

//

 

**I see you met another guy.**

It was gone midnight when Harry got his text and he wondered why Louis was up at 5am.

 

**_You should be sleeping._ **

****

**I got in a fight today. Turns out hitting people isn’t so good for your knuckles. I’m in A &E.**

Harry gasped. What?!

 

**_What?? Who did you hit? Are you okay? Should I come home?_ **

****

He quickly hit ‘send’, thinking of a hundred more questions that he began to type and deleted in several rounds, trying to wait for a reply without having a heart attack. He sat up in bed, his breathing shallow.

 

**Simon. Ass turned up drunk today and went for me. Had to knock him flat.**

**_Did you break your hand?_ **

****

**…*whistles***

Harry groaned and fell back on the bed with a whoosh of breath out. And when he wasn’t there to kiss it better, too…

 

**_Lou! Couldn’t you just ignore him?_ **

****

**I was doing okay until he brought you into it…then I kinda flew :/**

**_Me? What did he say?_ **

****

**Nothing worth repeating. Just know I took it out of his face :D**

**_This isn’t funny._ **

****

**No, it fucking hurts. That’s how much I love you, okay? Remember this…**

_Remember this?_ Harry choked on his own throat and tried to remember how to breathe. How could he forget, exactly?!!

 

_That’s how much I love you._

 

The words flashed in neon in his mind and he rubbed his eyes and pinched himself to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. He managed to get his shaky fingers to reply, keeping the tone light since he was sure Louis didn’t mean the words how he’d taken them.

 

People said things like that all the time, didn’t they? They didn’t _mean_ them…

 

**_I wish I could kiss it better for you :(_ **

****

**Hand feeling better :) Miracle!**

Harry chuckled at his teasing; pleased they had this contact.

 

**_I’ll ring you tomorrow. Don’t hit anyone else, okay?_ **

****

**Only if they don’t mention you :p**

**_Luke says hi by the way._ **

****

**Is he with you now?!**

**_No, from earlier…_ **

****

**Tell him my knuckles say hi back :)**

Harry shook his head and typed ‘goodnight’, settling down to sleep again.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This tour is going to kill me!
> 
> Ang

** chapter 12 **

 

Friday’s shoot was busier thanks to a rush of fans on the beach that they hadn’t expected. Apparently Luke had his own following that Harry knew nothing about and it was stressful having to hire in extra security to keep the growing crowd back.

 

Still, they finished up in good time and Luke even took him out to play pool and eat ribs at an amazing local bar that Harry fell in love with.

 

He checked his phone in stolen moments, sending broken texts back and forth but he finally got in and hit dial; letting Louis’ phone ring out before trying again, just in case he’d gotten out of the shower or fallen asleep or something.

 

“Hey,” a sleep-scratchy voice greeted casually and Harry knew he’d woken Louis up.

 

“You were sleeping,” he accused softly.

 

Louis smiled.

 

“I wanted to hear your voice…”

 

“And you think I’m the weird one,” he teased.

 

“You are,” Louis returned fondly.

 

“How’s your hand?” He checked.

 

“Broken,” Louis confirmed. “At least, three of my knuckles are…”

 

“Ouch,” Harry winced. “I can’t believe Simon showed up there…”

 

“Hm,” Louis voice was low and husky and Harry heard him shifting around, getting comfy.

 

“You can’t hit everyone that says bad things about me,” Harry chided gently.

 

Louis cleared his throat.

 

“Actually, I can.”

 

“I wish you wouldn’t then…you got hurt because of it…”

 

Louis shrugged. “I like being the man of the relationship.”

 

“I don’t like being the girl,” Harry sulked.

 

Louis laughed.

 

“But you wear the underwear!”

 

Harry blushed, glad Louis couldn’t see him.

 

“Yeah, well,” he mumbled.

 

“Are you blushing?” Louis asked.

 

“No,” Harry lied.

 

“You are,” Louis’ voice had a rough timbre to it. Harry could imagine the crinkles in the corners of his eyes as he smiled sexily. He still didn’t understand how he instigated that reaction in Louis; but he didn’t pause to wonder at it now.

 

“Alright, I am,” he conceded.

 

“Did you take any panties with you?” Louis enquired lightly.

 

“Maybe,” Harry teased.

 

Louis groaned. “You better not be showing them to other guys,” he warned softly.

 

“Nobody else sees that but you,” Harry promised.

 

“When you get back…” Louis began.

 

“When I get back, what?” Harry prompted.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

“Hands and knees for two days straight,” he decided. “You didn’t want to walk, did you?”

 

Harry didn’t know whether to laugh or groan out loud. He chose neither. He just tried to breathe.

 

“I can hear you getting turned on,” Louis gruffed.

 

Harry moved the receiver away from his mouth where his heavy breathing wasn’t as apparent.

 

“You shouldn’t say sexy things,” Harry grumbled, running his hand down the centre of his belly, right toward his dick where he tried to subdue it, but his touch only excited him further.

 

He bit back a whimper; hoping Louis hadn’t caught it.

 

“Harry, what the fuck are you doing?” He asked, abruptly, evidently also turned on.

 

“Nothing,” he lied, and then a naughty smile enveloped his lips. “Nothing…daddy…”

 

Louis grunted and apparently pitched into his bed because Harry heard the ‘oomph’ as he made contact; followed by his throaty moan.

 

“Are you touching yourself?” Louis asked, a murmur.

 

“Hmm-mm,” Harry agreed, drawing out his affirmation into a hum.

 

“Being good for daddy?” He asked.

 

“What does daddy want me to do?” Harry asked.

 

“Wrap your hand right round, nice and tight…”

 

Harry followed his instructions, gasping in pleasure.

 

“Now slide up and down- slowly- and rub your thumb across as you get to the top…”

 

“Ah!” Harry cried out, the pleasure intense and hitting him in hard waves; bringing him to a high faster than he knew he could.

 

“Louder,” Louis begged breathily, still stroking himself under his pajama’s as he helped Harry rise to his peak.

 

“Yes! So good!” Harry cried.

 

“Who’s your daddy?” Louis rasped.

 

“Lou!” Harry called. “Daddy…I need you…shoot!” He gasped.

 

Louis wondered if he had, indeed, shot.

 

“Talk to me,” he encouraged.

 

“Daddy…daddy…fuck me, daddy…”

 

Louis’ brows shot up at Harry’s sudden mindless ramblings. What was he doing over there, he wondered?

 

“Yes, oh yes…”

 

Louis pumped his fist harder; wondering if Harry was fingering himself as he tugged himself off. The image was beyond hot and Louis couldn’t survive his self-love if Harry carried on that way.

 

“Haz…what’re you doing? Speak to me,” Louis mumbled.

 

“Oh Jesus!” Harry called out loudly and Louis knew for certain he was fingering himself and had just found his prostate.

 

“Gonna be the fucking death of me,” he grumbled; seeing stars behind his eyes, closing them and letting his orgasm own him, hard and slow and intense, more intense than ever before.

 

He came-to, panting and listening for Harry.

 

“Harry?” He called, testing the quiet line. “Haz? Are you okay?”

 

Louis reached over to his tissues; wiping up his mess, sucking some off his finger, swallowing the salty liquid.

 

A soft moan sounded at the other end of the phone and Louis realized Harry was finally coming around.

 

“Harry, are you okay?” Louis pressed again.

 

“F-fuck,” Harry stuttered, sounding utterly torn.

 

Louis felt paralysed at his swear-word, something Harry hardly used.

 

“What is it?” He asked worriedly. “Did you hurt yourself?”

 

Harry writhed around on his bed; his fingers oily with the lube he’d grabbed off the night-stand (he kept Vaseline there and it was a desperate measure).

 

“Wow,” he finally sighed, amazed that he’d managed to bring himself off that way, on the phone with someone else and all while he fingered himself, imagining that touch was Louis’- like that day in the shower.

 

Louis sighed.

 

“I wish you wouldn’t touch your ass when I’m not there,” he chided.

 

Harry grinned, languid and happy.

 

“Wanted to be ready for you…need you in me,” he murmured; too relaxed still to curb his words.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Louis swore heavily. “Are you trying to kill me?”

 

“No, don’t want to kill you…want to make love with you…” Harry replied, still senseless and Louis wondered just how much he’d been missing out on.

 

“I love you so fucking much,” Louis cast, truth in his heart as he spoke. “Those fucking idiots who didn’t want you before…well fuck them,” he decided.

 

Harry swallowed, frowning dazedly as he quickly hit reality with a bump.

 

“You…what?” He sucked in air, hoping it would reach his brain because his brain surely needed it to comprehend.

 

Louis cleared his throat. Oh _shit_. He’d said the words. And not even to his face. Gosh darnit. And now he had to say them again, to explain himself.

 

“I love you,” Louis repeated slowly, softly. “ _I_ love _you._ ”

 

There. It felt so good to say it; finally, Niall was right, he shouldn’t be keeping these words to himself, this feeling. Harry deserved to hear it, to share it, to believe it. If he ever would, that is. Louis waited patiently for it all to sink in; to see what Harry would say in return.

 

“I loved you first,” Harry said then, his voice low and husked, his words honest.

 

Louis let out a breath he didn’t even know he’d been holding.

 

“Let’s not argue,” Louis suggested quietly.

 

Harry smiled.

 

“I need to clean up,” he mused.

 

“You haven’t done that yet?” Louis teased.

 

“Can’t move,” he mused.

 

“Let’s not go there again,” Louis suggested.

 

“Dirty,” Harry accused fondly.

 

“And you love it,” Louis returned.

 

“I do,” Harry grinned.

 

Louis considered that he could lie here all night and listen to Harry’s drunk-on-desire ramblings. But it was an ungodly hour and he really had to work tomorrow.

 

“Sleep well, love,” Louis posed.

 

“Love you,” Harry parted and Louis heard the soft click where he ended the call.

 

//

 

Harry spent most of Saturday morning tidying up the ends of the shoot and going last-minute shopping with Luke. He was wearing some of his new purchases as he boarded his plane and waited excitedly for the hours to pass until he was home.

 

When Zayn picked him up at the other end, it was nearly midnight and his friend gave him a once-over and a nod of approval.

 

“Looking good…”

 

Harry shrugged. “Just some new clothes,” he denied of the cream converse, low belted jeans and dark blue shirt Luke had chosen for him.

 

“Well, they suit you,” Zayn commented as he drove.

 

“Thanks for getting me,” Harry appreciated.

 

“Hey, we’re friends forever, right?”

 

Harry nodded. “Forever. How’s Niall?” he checked.

 

Zayn nodded, and then broke into a smile. He held up his hand and showcased a ring on his thumb.

 

“We made it official,” he shared.

 

Harry grinned and would have squealed if he wasn’t so jet-lagged.

 

“I’m so happy for you,” he extended.

 

“You and Louis?” Zayn checked.

 

Harry blushed. “Official, no rings,” he shared.

 

“You don’t need rings when you’re in love,” Zayn accused gently and Harry swiped him.

 

“Shut up, Malik.”

 

Zayn grinned, pulling up outside a familiar town house.

 

“Here you go, delivered right to lover-boy’s door…”

 

Harry fondly messed Zayn’s hair, something he was sure the other boy would curse him for after. He did, under his breath.

 

“Thank you, Zaynie,” Harry teased, reaching over to kiss his cheek before he got out.

 

He looked up the path to see Louis silhouetted in his doorway, waiting for him.

 

“Thanks for the lift!” He called to his friend and he pulled away and tooted, no doubt disturbing the neighbours but Harry didn’t care.

 

He clutched his comfort blanket in his arm and started up the path; pulling his luggage with him as he hastened toward the door.

 

Louis left the security of his house and ran down the path, meeting him halfway in a tight; desperate hug. He felt Harry kiss his neck; clutching him close.

 

“Lou,” he breathed; sucking in air, taking in his smell and squeezing him fiercely.

 

“Hey, I’m here,” Louis assured; stroking the back of his head; struggling to turn his face to kiss his cheek reassuringly, which when he managed it, he did a few times. “I’m here…”

 

“Missed you,” Harry mumbled, still holding him, not letting go.

 

As vivid as the memories were in Louis’ mind about what they’d shared during their last call, right now he could see that Harry needed more than making out. He needed _him_ , his love, his support unwavering. He was tired and emotional and maybe a little bit frightened. Understandable considering what they had shared these last few days, thousands of miles apart.

 

“I love you,” Louis murmured the words he’d already said, kissing Harry’s temple.

 

Harry pulled away a notch, smiling bemusedly into his face.

 

“Why do you keep saying that,” he accused, not really asking.

 

“Because I do,” Louis shrugged.

 

Harry grinned, all-out and planted a firm, loving kiss on Louis’ lips.

 

“I love you, too, but can we do this inside because your neighbours are starting to stare…” he mused; having seen bedroom lights go on and curtains flickering next door.

 

“You will go whooping about in the street,” Louis teased, pulling away where Harry’s blanket fell between them since he’d let it go in favour of hugging Louis.

 

Louis caught it and arched a brow.

 

“What’s this?”

 

“My comfort blanket,” Harry replied, daring him to make something of it.

 

“It’s pink,” Louis derided with an amused squint.

 

Harry shrugged. “I like it.”

 

Louis tucked it under his arm and grabbed his luggage handle in one hand and Harry’s hand in his other.

 

“Come on,” he led the way.

 

//

 

 

Having Harry in his arms felt infinitely right, somehow, like the puzzle he’d been working on his whole life was finally making sense, that missing pieces were magically fitting into place.

 

The way Harry’s body fit against his still amazed him. And the way his big, lanky form curled into this adorable, loveable hunk, made him grin inanely to himself.

 

“Why’re you awake?” Harry slurred, practically asleep if it weren’t for Louis’ evident inability to relax.

 

“Shh, I'm not,” he murmured, kissing Harry’s curls; squeezing him in his arms a little.

 

“Yes y'are,” he jumbled his words together.

 

Louis kissed his hair again.

 

“Am not,” he sighed, letting his eyes close, letting his body relax.

 

He was so afraid of closing his eyes on this moment and losing it; so afraid of it not being real. What if his mind was playing tricks on him? Or worse, his heart? What if Harry didn’t really love him and he’d imagined all that; the words, the meanings?

 

He sighed.

 

_I loved you first._

 

Of course it was real. And now he had to do everything in his power not to fuck it up.

 

//

 

Louis was being kissed awake.

 

He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve Harry’s love, but he had it and his younger beau was making sure he woke up in the best way possible.

 

He fluttered open his blue eyes; capturing Harry’s face in his hands as he leaned over him; resting on his elbow as they kissed for long and leisurely moments, the union soon turning into something more.

 

Louis groaned as Harry moved to straddle his thighs, insistently tugging at his tee shirt to drag it off; determinedly doing the same with his boxers; undressing himself in the same manner; letting Louis’ eyes roam over him as he knelt above him.

 

“It’s right,” Harry said softly, making it clear what he wanted.

 

Louis sucked in air; not wanting anything more than to love the man before him, but still part of him was afraid of ruining his first time. He rolled over; laying Harry beneath him as he pushed between his thighs; kissing him strongly with all the emotion he felt.

 

Harry soon moved them on from loving kisses; moaning loudly and grasping Louis’ skin desperately as their desire grew. He ran his hands over Louis’ ass; took his already-impressive erection in his hand; ran his big, gentle hands up his chest and tangled his fingers into his new, shorter hair.

 

Louis returned the favour, tugging on Harry’s curls as his desperation grew; exposing his throat where Louis attacked the skin with his mouth, dragging his stubble up that sensitive column, groaning as Harry cried out. Rubbing his body to Harry’s soft but muscled one; needing friction, needing a lot more.

 

He reached for his lube; pushing at Harry’s knees until he bent them; rolling his legs up to expose his behind. Louis didn’t waste time; he slicked his fingers and pushed them gently inside; feeling Harry grasp around him; hearing him hiss with the sensation.

 

“You’re so tight,” Louis whispered. “Are you sure you can manage this?”

 

Harry nodded; deliberately relaxing his body so Louis could push further in, right up to his knuckles which he did and then he shunted his hand a bit further; jamming his digits inside to give Harry an idea of how it was going to feel to take his body.

 

Harry’s red, swollen lips fell open in a way that had Louis wanting to sink his dick between them and then he caught his lower lip between his teeth before whining ‘daddy’ in a way that had Louis fighting his body not to just fill him right now, no prep or warning.

 

“Harry, babe…please, try not to-”

 

“Please, oh please! Please…daddy, please,” Harry was mindless in that way he was during their call and all because his fingers were buried deep inside him, barely moving, just stretching him out slowly; a bit at a time.

 

Louis grunted and withdrew his hand, pushing back into him; thrusting his body against Harry’s in the same moment, his dick sliding deliciously up his thigh; a smooth and hairless thigh Louis noted as he grazed his beard over Harry’s collarbones; making him squirm and cry with need.

 

“Need you,” Harry strangled out; his throat full with the sensation of Louis digits inside him. It was all Louis could do not to fuck his mouth and fill his throat with his seed; his body tight and desperate for release.

 

Harry finally opened his dilated green eyes and stared at Louis; begging him silently. He licked his lips, pulled Louis’ head down for a messy kiss and bucked up onto his fingers; demanding more. Louis continued to scissor within him; letting his muscles accommodate; letting his body adjust.

 

“Haz…slow, okay?” Louis murmured. “Just…take it easy…it’s going to hurt, I want to make it not hurt…”

 

Harry shook his head; thrashing on the bed; grasping Louis’ head as he kissed his nipples- each in turn; languidly flicking his tongue over his skin. When Louis curled to swallow him whole; he almost fitted on the bed; grinding down onto his hand in such a way that Louis had no choice but to use another finger; really pushing Harry to his limits.

 

He watched Harry’s face contort; licked over his tip to ease his discomfort.

 

“Too much?” He asked, breathless.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“No, more,” he demanded with a thick voice; still pushing down to take Louis inside him; his body quivering with the stretch but coping all the same.

 

Louis licked up the underside; covering him again, deep-throating until Harry begged him not to make him come yet and he went back to kissing his mouth, his fingers still embedded inside him where he had hoped Harry might give in and orgasm without them having sex.

 

Having sex which Louis knew would hurt him, at first. But he was hell-bent on pleasuring him too.

 

He crawled up between his thighs; gently withdrawing his fingers; coating himself in more lube and gently rubbing his tip to Harry’s hole.

 

“Feel that?” Louis checked; voice rough and broken.

 

Harry nodded, all wide eyes and wanton body. If Louis could take a picture of him right now, he would. He caught his arm under Harry’s thigh to push it upwards; giving him the perfect access to enter him. He rested his weight upon Harry’s body- nothing really considering his petiteness; but his muscled form felt good upon the plush white pillow of Harry’s skin.

 

He kissed him, deep and long, until Harry whimpered and wriggled beneath him. He cupped Louis’ face; kissing him once, then ran his hands down his back to cover his generous backside.

 

“Louis…I mean, daddy…please,” he begged.

 

“Louis,” Louis repeated of his preferred name for this moment. “You can call me Louis this time,” he asked; pressing his body against the tight hole of Harry’s entrance.

 

Harry gasped, feeling the resistance, trying to relax even though his body was protesting-quite rightly- to this invasion. Louis was thicker than his three fingers; more to take than he could imagine. He should have known really; from holding him in his hand, from sucking him in his mouth. He was big and his body had to adjust to that size; something that Louis was helping by going slow and steady; rocking in an inch, then slipping out and pushing back deeper each time.

 

“All of you!” Harry cried after several attempts by Louis to ease his way in. “Just-all of you,” he gasped; still only half full.

 

Louis blinked and leaned down to suck on Harry’s collarbone; bringing a bruise there right before he flicked his hips; taking him deep inside where Harry had begged him to go. He felt Harry tense; felt his body flutter around him; saw his eyes close and tears break the edges as the pain of his swift move passed quickly and pleasure replaced it.

 

Harry’s eyes opened, wide and awed; his mouth opening too, but no words would come out. He felt like Louis was so deep within him that he was blocking his throat from the other side of his body, pushed right through. He gasped for air; clutching at Louis’ back; not believing this was it, this was the moment he’d been waiting for.

 

“Please, Louis,” he finally whined, blinking away his tears as they fell.

 

Louis began a slow pace; not pushing all the way in as he watched Harry’s face carefully, concerned over his discomfort. He knelt a little and angled his hips so he knew he’d be hitting Harry’s sweet spot and when Harry groaned and started to push back against him, he really let himself go the way he wanted to; although still keeping some back so as not to bruise him.

 

He was thrusting in deep; tender rhythm; Harry murmuring things to encourage him; his lazy green eyes barely kept open for the pleasure. When Louis bottomed out; he kept driving into his tight body; addicted to the feel of him; to his reactions, all new and exciting to his beau. He briefly wondered if Harry would ever fed of him, but let the thought slip from his mind as he took Harry’s still-hard dick in his hand and began to pump in sync with his thrusts, feeling his peak nearing and wanting to bring Harry to heaven with him.

 

“Lou,” Harry arched his neck; his back curving, too, taking Louis surprisingly deep for his first time.

 

Louis choked on his shock; feeling his body snap under the pressure; his orgasm rising quickly and unexpectedly as he desperately tried to finish Harry, too.

 

“Harry, fuck!” he gasped. “Want y-you…” He didn’t finish his sentence because he came; spurting his seed into Harry’s body and collapsing into his arms that wrapped around him; holding him protectively close.

 

He awkwardly untangled his arm from Harry’s thigh he’d hooked up and nuzzled into Harry’s neck as he lay there; still connected.

 

“Did you come?” Louis asked weakly, breathless and dazed.

 

Harry nodded and kissed the top of his head. “Yeah…”

 

“Oh, good,” Louis relaxed a little more, moving only to withdraw, seeing Harry try to hide a wince.

 

He fingered Harry’s cheek.

 

“How bad did I hurt you?” He asked.

 

Harry shrugged. “No more than I wanted you to.”

 

Louis smiled, kissing his swollen, ruined lips.

 

Harry tightened his arms around Louis’ body, forcing him to lay his head back down on his chest.

 

“I’m too heavy,” Louis murmured.

 

Harry snickered. “Hardly…”

 

“I need to take care of you,” he kissed his chest and lifted his head tiredly to look at Harry.

 

“Just one more minute?” Harry begged in a whisper, surprising Louis with his vulnerability. He wanted to hold him like this, wanted to enjoy their post-sex bliss; their intimate moment. He kissed his collarbone where a bruise was already forming.

 

“One more minute,” he agreed easily; letting Harry hold him.

 

//

 

Once Louis had bathed Harry in a healing hot bath and changed his bed sheets; he lay back down beside his beau and let the morning waste away.

 

He made them tea and heated croissants; enjoying the simple art of hugging Harry into his smaller body as the other lad slept on; seemingly tired out from his flight still.

 

It was around mid-afternoon that he left Harry snoozing to sneak out; hastening into town on a mission and coming back into his house with an excited grin, hoping Harry hadn’t missed him too much.

 

He found the younger man in his kitchen, moving slowly about as he prepared dinner- of what Louis couldn’t tell.

 

He sighed as he came into the room.

 

“Harry, what’re you doing? I was going to order in,” he chided.

 

Harry turned and gave Louis such a just-fucked, loved-up smile that Louis couldn’t have argued with him no matter what.

 

“Wanted to,” was all he said, all lazy, dull green eyes and crazy hair, his body evidently weakened from their foray into hedonism earlier.

 

“Did you take paracetamol?” Louis checked and Harry nodded, patting his butt gently.

 

“I’ll be good as new in no time.” He joked.

 

Louis tilted his head and moved into the room; slipping his arms around Harry’s wide shoulders; reaching up to kiss him soundly on the mouth.

 

“You look ruined,” Louis husked, loving this picture. Harry in his house.

 

Harry nodded. “I feel it.”

 

“You’re beautiful,” Louis added.

 

Harry blushed; looking away.

 

“Maybe.”

 

“You are,” Louis cupped his cheek to bring his gaze back to his. “And mine…”

 

“Yours,” Harry agreed, still tired, still groggy.

 

“Am I yours?” Louis prompted expectantly.

 

Harry nodded. “I hope so.”

 

Louis let him move from his arms to do what was needed for his dinner- he could see now that it involved chicken, mushrooms, brie and some kind of wine sauce.

 

“Looks amazing,” Louis licked his lips.

 

Harry lifted the lid off a large saucepan. “Home-made mash,” he said, making Louis smirk.

 

“It’s a staple dish,” he defended lightly.

 

Harry slipped an arm around his waist to capture him for a kiss.

 

“Best meal I’ve ever eaten,” he confirmed.

 

Louis stood back and nervously bit at his lips.

 

“I went out to buy something,” he announced then.

 

Harry frowned at him.

 

“Oh?”

 

“I didn’t want to leave you, but I had to-well, I wanted to show you what this means to me…what _you_ mean to me,” he added shyly.

 

Harry gazed at him, turning down his pan to give his full attention.

 

Louis dipped into his pocket and brought out a ring box. Harry gasped and darted him a look.

 

“Lou-what…?” he wondered, awed.

 

Louis opened the box to reveal two silver rings one for each of them. On the inside they had scribed, ‘Louis…yours’ and ‘Harry…yours’, the outside burnished and trendy.

 

“I’ll have mine on a necklace if that’s okay,” Louis said softly. “Not much of a ring man, myself…”

 

The air was pushed from his lungs as Harry grabbed him. He quickly hugged him back, running soothing hands over his big back. He felt Harry trembling and pulled back to try and look at him. Harry turned his face further away; into his shoulder.

 

“Haz, what is it?” Louis asked, frightened.

 

“Don’t look at me,” he mumbled, tears thickening his voice. “I’m crying like a girl and I don’t want you to see…”

 

Louis let out a relieved breath and chuckled lightly.

 

“Thank fuck for that,” he mused; wondering for one awful moment if he had gotten it all wrong.

 

Harry shook his head and let his tears fall; clinging to Louis as he did so. When he pulled away he shyly wiped his face and sniffled back his remaining tears; smiling bravely at his boyfriend.

 

“Sorry,” he apologized, awkward in his emotional state.

 

“Shut up,” Louis said softly, kissing him, taking his hand to slip on the ring.

 

His was already on a chain that he let Harry fasten with shaky hands.

 

“See, now people will know,” Louis said.

 

Harry nodded, sucking his lower lip.

 

“I’m yours,” Louis added reassuringly. “I won’t leave you, I promise.”

 

“Same,” Harry managed, turning to save his dinner and serving it with a pleased little grin curling at his lips.

 

“Should we celebrate?” Louis wondered.

 

Harry shrugged, pouring wine, which they toasted to their future before drinking.

 

“Wait till I tell Zayn,” Harry mused.

 

“And me Niall,” Louis agreed.

 

“Been bugging me for ages about us,” Harry complained lightly.

 

“Same,” Louis nodded.

 

“We should go out as a four,” Harry considered. “Just a meal, a double-date.”

 

Louis grinned. “Sounds fun.”

 

“Oh and Karen and Liam,” he added.

 

Louis nodded. “Think they can handle the gay?”

 

Harry grinned back. “Yeah, I think so…”

 

“Can you stay tonight?” Louis asked then, enjoying his meal that Harry prepared.

 

Harry gazed at him, all dark lashes and soft lips and _hair_. _Just hair_ , he mused.

 

“Yes,” he replied simply, softly.

 

Louis smiled, reaching across the table to take his hand, rubbing his thumb over the ring that adorned his middle finger now.

 

“Good.” He said in return.

 

Harry nodded. _Good_.

 

//

 

Harry had to go back to his house the next day and do a mountain of washing from his trip, not to mention all his usual chores.

 

His cheeks warmed as he remembered leaving Louis’ place, feeling thoroughly loved and something else- accomplished. He’d made love to Louis this morning, in a slow, languid way that forgave his inexperience and brought Louis to a quivering wreck in his arms.

 

That had been his favourite moment, really. Seeing him come undone, his thick lashes on his cheeks, his mouth opened in silent ecstasy; his tanned body taut under his as he peaked, right around him as Harry buried deep into his body. _Yes_ , Harry considered he could get used to being allowed to be in charge.

 

He smiled softly at the thought that Louis ‘let’ him. Well really, it was unspoken that they were equals, would take turns, and would share their domination. But the reality of it was all the more special because Harry had never had that before. Never made love to anybody, never felt his soul fuse with another while his body joined another.

 

And he felt inexplicably happy about the possibilities that would now come from this. He and Louis were official, would be wearing matching rings from now on and it would be clear to all those who watched them that they had intimacy; a bond.

 

Harry still couldn’t fathom it, really but he’d given up trying to work it out. He picked up his phone, unable to resist texting because let’s face it- he was never going to be that guy was he? The one that played it cool.

 

**_Just thinking about you._ **

****

He smiled as he stretched out on the sofa, between jobs, about to start dinner.

 

 **Haven’t stopped thinking about you,** came Louis reply.

 

Harry grinned, biting the tip of his thumb like a school girl as he tried not to squeal.

 

**_I love my ring, thank you :)_ **

****

**Mine at last :p Almost fucked that one up.**

**_Was yours from the start. Loved you first, ‘member?_ **

****

**I’ll never forget.**

Harry tilted his head, wondering when he’d gotten so mushy with a guy. He considered it was maybe never. He wondered if Louis minded.

**_What are you having for dinner?_ **

****

**Pizza. From Dominoes.**

Harry rolled his eyes at Louis’ reply.

 

**_I’m cooking, why don’t you join me?_ **

****

**Too much of a good? thing.**

****

Harry chuckled at Louis’ words.

**_More than good and never too much. Please come._ **

****

There was a pause. Harry knew Louis would be thinking about it; worrying about them spending too much time together. He bit his lips, fighting off the urge to send another message begging him. He wanted to Louis to _want_ to come, to spend time just eating; just talking, just being together in each other’s space.

 

 **Only because you serve most major food groups unlike Dominoes,** Louis conceded.

 

Harry grinned; his dimples flashing. He scrambled up and started his meal.

 

//

 

Their night ended up cuddled together on the sofa, the larger form of Harry curled in Louis’ arms; although no-one would notice the difference when they were wrapped together so snugly; so pleased to be in each other’s company.

 

Their passion of the day before hadn’t waned as much as it had been spent; still simmering beneath the surface, still evident when their eyes met and twinkled, when their lips curved in matching smiles. But just being together was something they hadn’t done an awful lot of and Harry thought it meant more to him- laying here being held- than when they imploded together from pleasure untold.

 

“M’not moving,” Harry mumbled as Louis fidgeted.

 

“You’re going to have to, I need to use the loo,” Louis expressed.

 

Harry groaned and curled up into a seated position; yawning widely.

 

“You should go to bed, anyway,” Louis mused as he rose.

 

“You sleeping here?” Harry asked, assuming.

 

Louis smiled down at him.

 

“Are you asking?”

 

Harry grinned. “Yes.”

 

“Then how can I say no?” He wondered; drifting off to use the bathroom where Harry followed slowly; washing up to collapse into his bed; tired from his endeavors.

 

Louis spooned him; nuzzling his hair.

 

“Are you sore, still?” He murmured.

 

Harry’s eyes were closing. He groaned. “Can’t now…too tired…”

 

Louis chuckled, kissing his neck.

 

“No, you idiot, I’m asking…not looking for more…”

 

Harry felt his lips curve.

 

“Not sore,” he lied.

 

Louis ran a gentle hand over his behind, thoroughly palming the flesh there before settling his body back against Harry’s.

 

“Nice rub,” Harry sighed before he fell asleep.

 

Louis settled behind him with a satisfied smile.

 

//

 

Harry went to work from his place while Louis did the usual and dropped home first. By 9.15, Harry was already antsy about his arrival. When it got 9.30, he grabbed Karen and asked her if she had heard anything. She’d shaken her head and frowned; calling her friend in HR to check for news. Nothing.

 

Harry didn’t want to seem like the neurotic boyfriend he clearly was by calling Niall; but then by 10 o’clock, he really didn’t know what other options he had.

 

Just as he looked up Niall’s number, his mobile phone began ringing. It was Zayn and Harry knew instantly that something was wrong.

 

“Zayn, what’s going on?” Harry answered no pleasantries.

 

His friend seemed to appreciate his directness.

 

“I’m with Niall…he found Louis this morning, he’s been attacked…” Zayn explained.

 

Harry swallowed, fear striking his lungs immobile.

 

“Where are you? Is he okay?” He asked, afraid.

 

“He was unconscious when he found him…he’s pretty beat up…but he’s okay,” Zayn explained. “We’re at City Hospital,” he added.

 

“Okay, I’m on my way,” Harry said softly.

 

“Harry? It’ll be okay,” Zayn said again, worried for his friend. “I’ll come and get you, don’t try and drive.”

 

Harry sighed out. He was probably right.

 

“Okay. See you soon,” he hung up the call; startling as he felt a hand run across his shoulders.

 

Karen was stood behind him.

 

“Is everything okay?” She asked intuitively.

 

“No,” Harry shook his head, panic lacing his veins. “Louis got hurt…somebody hurt him,” he explained, disconnected somewhat while unshed tears clung to his lashes.

 

“Oh, Harry,” she instantly dragged him out of his chair to hug him. He gratefully hugged her back.

 

“He can’t-he’s just got to be okay…” Harry murmured; dragging his fingers through his wily hair. “He held me last night, all night…he’s the strong one, he’s the rock…not me…god, not me,” Harry’s tears began to fall as he realized how unequipped he was to deal with a crisis.

 

“Harry, it’s okay,” Karen assured firmly. “He’ll be okay…whoever did this will suffer, I promise you…”

 

_Whoever did this._

 

Harry gasped.

 

“Simon!” He said, paling at the idea.

 

“What about him?” Karen frowned.

 

“He came here while I was away…Louis hit him, apparently he was drunk and said some horrible things…”

 

Karen regarded him with a bemused look.

 

“Boy, he really has it bad for you, doesn’t he?” She mused of Louis, then on seeing Harry’s horrified look, she changed tack. “Alright, I’ll go to the police station and tell them to keep an eye out…you go to the hospital.”

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Do you need a ride?” She checked.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“Zayn’s getting me…” he murmured.

 

“Good,” she grabbed his hand and led him down to the front of the building where she waited with him until Zayn pulled up.

 

She belted Harry into his seat and stuck her head up to look across at Zayn.

 

“Look after him, please?” She asked.

 

Zayn nodded, flicking a concerned look to Harry.

 

“I’ll try…”

 

“I’ll come down with Liam once I’ve been to the Police station…Harry thinks he knows who did this,” she added.

 

Zayn nodded again. “Okay, see you later,” he acknowledged, pulling away with a very quiet Harry as cargo.

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for everything I love you all!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> Ang

** chapter 13 **

 

Harry was vaguely aware of Zayn holding his hand; leading him through corridors upon corridors; confusing his mind as to where he was going and what for. Well, he knew it was to see Louis but he still couldn’t quite grasp that Louis was here when short hours ago he’d been holding him; protecting him and Harry now wished he’d insisted on being the protector last night, although he would be now and until Louis was better again.

 

“Mr. Styles?” A nurse said as Harry was brought up to the waiting room.

 

Harry glanced at Niall. Niall managed a reassuring smile.

 

“He’s been asking for you,” the nurse- Felicity- added.

 

Harry blinked, stared, couldn’t comprehend.

 

“He’s awake?”

 

She nodded, with a little smile.

 

“We’re keeping him on muscle relaxants and he’s pretty bruised, but he’s awake and asking for you,” she repeated.

 

Harry looked at Zayn who was holding his hand.

 

“Come with me?” He asked.

 

Zayn nodded.

 

“Of course…”

 

Harry flicked a look to Niall, suddenly having another thought.

 

“Did you want to go first?” He asked.

 

Niall made a face.

 

“Pfft, nah, you go, Haz,” he assured. “He doesn’t want my ugly mug to be the first face he sees…”

 

Harry nodded and gently advanced toward the room where Louis was being treated; peeking inside the window to check on him, seeing him asleep on his back, tucked up in bed with wires surrounding him; his heartbeat broadcast in blips on a screen at the side.

 

He sucked in a breath, seeing the angry bruises on his face; a bandage around his head; red rawness running down his collar-bones and threatening to bleed into his chest; probably his abdomen, too.

 

“It’s okay, Haz, it’s just bruises,” Zayn reassured.

 

Harry nodded, opening the door. He ventured inside, letting go of Zayn’s hand to walk to the bed; slipping his hand into Louis’ lifeless one. He leaned over and kissed his temple- the side that wasn’t deep red and injured. He watched as his tears plopped onto Louis’ cheek; his eyelashes, and quickly wiped them away.

 

“It’s raining,” Louis mumbled; not opening his eyes.

 

Harry opened his mouth to speak, but couldn’t find the words, couldn’t find the air or the ability to make noise.

 

“Harry’s here, Lou,” Zayn called softly from the doorway and Harry turned sharply, almost forgetting he was there.

 

He smiled at him gratefully.

 

“Harry?” He squeezed the hand that was in his. “Is that you? I’ve been asking for you for the past half hour…”

 

Harry lifted Louis’ hand and kissed it; sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

“I’ll leave you to it,” Zayn said softly, turning and closing the door.

 

Harry realized his friend was a saint- or maybe an angel, because he knew exactly what to do and when to do it and he couldn’t be more grateful for his support.

 

“Lou,” Harry finally managed; his voice papery and weak. He lifted Louis’ hand to his cheek and pressed it against his tears.

 

“Oh _fuck_ , tell me you’re not crying, Haz?” Louis groaned weakly, unable to move but fidgeting in discomfort.

 

“No, m’not,” he lied. “You were right, it’s raining.”

 

Louis sighed.

 

“Can’t even open my eyes,” he frustrated.

 

“Shh,” Harry soothed, kissing his knuckles- knuckles that still bore faint bruising from being broken.

 

“Thanks for coming,” Louis said then, softly.

 

Harry almost barked out a laugh. As if he wouldn’t!

 

“What happened?” Harry asked gently, leaning forward to kiss Louis’ forehead. “If you can manage it…”

 

Louis sighed again.

 

“I was coming out of my house…I guess he found where I live because he just jumped me…I didn’t have a chance to defend myself,” Louis forced his eyelids to open; focusing cross-eyes around the room as he fought the heaviness to stay awake.

 

He finally focused on the angel sitting on his bed. Harry’s curls were haloed by the light behind him; his face pale and pretty, his lips red and succulent. If Louis hadn’t been in ten tonnes of pain, he would have ravaged him such was the broken look on his little boyish face.

 

“It was lucky that Niall came by- a fluke, really,” he added, closing his eyes again and he felt Harry kiss each of his eyelids tenderly.

 

“He came by?” Harry asked.

 

“Yeah, to get a jacket he’d left at mine, he was hoping he’d catch me leaving for work. He found me in a heap on my path,” Louis derided.

 

“Nobody else saw?” Harry gasped.

 

Louis shook his head.

 

“Was too early, nobody was awake…”

 

Harry swallowed heavily.

 

“I’m here now, okay? I’m not leaving you,” Harry assured.

 

He didn’t know if Louis felt afraid, if he was scared about the attack. He just wanted Louis to know he wasn’t alone and in pain; alone and vulnerable.

 

“I can’t even be your boss now and tell you to get back to work,” Louis managed weakly.

 

“No, you’re not my boss anymore, Louis,” Harry agreed. “You’re my boyfriend and that means so much more…”

 

Louis forced a pained smile onto his lips, his face aching with the movement.

 

“Boyfriend. Yours.” He muttered sleepily.

 

Harry sucked in a breath, quickly looking around for Louis’ necklace. He found it in a drawer along with his wallet and other personal items and quickly fastened the necklace around his neck.

 

“I’ll look after your ring,” Harry told him, even though he knew that Louis had slipped back into unconsciousness.

 

He looked over at him, at his small, tanned form which now looked pale and sickly and so, so weak and he wanted more than anything to climb into his bed and hold him; the way Louis had held him last night and countless other times- when he cried, mostly, which was a lot, he mused.

 

He turned as the door opened and Niall came in. He quickly went over and hugged the shorter lad; his blonde hair tickling his neck and making him shiver.

 

“He’s okay,” Harry assured softly.

 

“More worried about you,” Niall admitted as he pulled away.

 

Harry managed a smile. “I’m okay now I’ve seen him.”

 

Niall nodded, rubbing his lips together.

 

“Zayn and I wondered if you wanted to stay with us tonight? So you’re not alone…” he added.

 

Harry bit his lip.

 

“I was thinking I would stay here…”

 

“They’re going to sedate him tonight,” Niall explained. “He’s still in too much pain to get enough rest, they said…”

 

Harry lifted his brows, horrified.

 

“I just want to crawl in that bed with him and hold him you know?” He offered sadly.

 

Niall reached forward and hugged him again.

 

“Come home with us, we’ll take care of you,” he assured.

 

Harry swallowed, and then flicked his eyes to the doorway where Zayn stood, waiting.

 

“Are you coming, Haz?” His friend asked expectantly.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Okay,” he agreed, letting his friends guide him back out.

 

//

 

Harry didn’t really have much appetite to begin with.

 

He was grateful for the offer of company because as he sat in Zayn’s flat and listened to him and Niall being cute together; he felt a warm smile cover his lips, if only for a few seconds.

 

They were trying to be muted, trying not to flaunt their usual banter and teasing in the loud tones Harry was accustomed to. And although his friends were equally worried about Louis; he knew they weren’t dependent on Louis the same way he was.

 

They knew he was going to be okay and so they carried on as normal unless they knew he was listening or watching in which case they suddenly became like rowdy teenagers in the library- chastised and acting quiet even though it was against their very nature.

 

When they fell through the doorway together, they caught his melancholy form and cleared throats; standing straight and glancing at each other.

 

“So, we have pizza,” Niall began.

 

“Meat feast or margherita,” Zayn said.

 

“We put both in,” Niall added.

 

Harry looked at them.

 

“Guys, you don’t have to act around me, you can be happy,” He assured.

 

Niall looked to Zayn.

 

Zayn moved forward and sank into the seat beside Harry; putting his arm around his shoulders.

 

“If it was Niall in that hospital, I’d feel the same,” he said of Harry’s worry.

 

Harry sighed.

 

“I just want you to be normal…don’t treat me different, it puts me on edge. Like…if I can just pretend like this isn’t real, then maybe it isn’t,” he posed. “Maybe it really isn’t,” he added in a whisper.

 

Zayn looked to Niall, not sure what to do. He pulled Harry toward his body; cradling him.

 

“It’s okay, Haz, he’ll be okay. I know you’re not used to being the strong one, but you are such an amazing person and Louis wanted you there so it doesn’t matter if you have a good cry over this, okay? He just wants you there…sad or not…”

 

Harry gave into the hurt inside him; the pain that unfurled in his chest when he thought about how Louis could have been stabbed or worse. He thought about how he could have had worse internal injuries; bleeding or bruising beyond repair. He thought about how frightened Louis must have been, being blind-sided that way, especially since Harry knew exactly how capable he was of holding his own, despite his slightly diminutive height.

 

He knew, too, that Louis was his rock; his strength, the reason he was able to do anything at all because of his support. And he didn’t know how to be that back for him; he didn’t know how to be the _guy_ in this relationship, because he never was. He was always the girl- the princess- he smirked at the tag as it became real.

 

Harry sucked in air as his tears petered out and his brain took a different turn. He had to be the strong one now, he had to be there for Louis, however he needed him. He needed to give Louis exactly what Louis had given him- patience and unending support.

 

He looked at Zayn resolutely.

 

“That’s the last time I cry,” he said.

 

Zayn brushed away his tears with gentle thumbs.

 

“You look beautiful when you do,” he teased.

 

“Hey, who you calling beautiful!” Niall called form the kitchen. “I thought I was your bitch!”

 

Zayn chuckled at Niall’s interruption.

 

“You’re more than beautiful!” he called back, looking to Harry again.

 

“You can stay with me as long as you like, by the way,” he added.

 

Harry nodded. “Thank you,” he appreciated.

 

Niall reappeared with hot pizza.

 

“It’s done boys!” He grinned; laying down a plate piled with slices which they just snatched up and ate- no plates or cutlery.

 

Harry ate hungrily, not realizing his appetite had returned; thinking this was probably the best meal he’d ever had. He smirked at his thoughts and settled into the sofa as he listened to his friends chatting away; lulled by their loving exchanges.

 

//

 

Louis was resting when Harry got there the next morning at visiting hours opening time.

 

He sat beside Louis’ bed in the visitors chair reading a book while he waited for his beau to wake up.

 

Felicity came in a few times to check on Louis and smiled at Harry each time.

 

“What are you reading?” She asked as she took the lunch menu selection Harry had filled out on Louis’ behalf.

 

“Some crap about vampires and werewolves,” Harry shared of the paperback he’d snuck from the waiting room.

 

“That’s Twilight!” she giggled. “Everybody loves it.”

 

“Not sure why…” Harry frowned, unimpressed with his choice.

 

“True love,” came a husky voice from the bed, signaling Louis was awake.

 

He managed to blink his eyes open and went to stretch, remembering he couldn’t do that with a wince.

 

“Ouch, what happened to me?” he asked rhetorically.

 

Harry twisted to look at him and Felicity ducked out of the room subtly.

 

“How’re you feeling?” Harry asked, reaching for Louis’ hand and feeling him squeeze in return.

 

“Like I’ve been under a bulldozer,” Louis commented drily.

 

Harry smiled at his description.

 

“I think you might be in here a bit longer,” he ventured.

 

Louis groaned.

 

“Hate being stuck in here…”

 

Harry nodded. “I know, it must be boring.”

 

“I miss you,” Louis let go of Harry’s hand to reach up and run his fingers into his Harry’s hair.

 

He couldn’t quite reach past his fringe so Harry shifted onto the bed; sitting the same way Louis was laying so that his legs were over his sheets.

 

Louis curled over onto his side; laying his head in Harry’s lap, wrapping his arms around his thigh to hug there and Harry let his hand sink into Louis’ messy hair; soothing his scalp; his other hand roaming over his shoulder and arm gently.

 

“S’nice,” Louis sighed tiredly; shifting uncomfortably. “Ribs ache,” he added.

 

“You broke one,” Harry shared. “It’ll take a few weeks to heal fully.”

 

“Oh,” Louis sighed. “And here I was trying to be some sexy macho man for my boyfriend and now I’m laid up for weeks clinging to his leg like a pretty little limpet…”

 

Harry spat out some laughter at Louis’ ridiculousness, wondering if he’d caught it from him. He squeezed him for a moment before going back to stroking him.

 

“You are so unbelievably sexy and macho right now,” Harry assured with an amused grin.

 

Louis peeked up.

 

“I see dimples,” he accused.

 

Harry shrugged. “Sue me.”

 

“I will when I break another bone trying to drag you in this bed with me…” He muttered.

 

They both knew he wasn’t nearly capable of doing such a thing; but if playing pretend made Louis feel better then Harry was all for it.

 

“You can’t even turn over without wincing, Lou, I doubt you’d be able to drag me anywhere,” Harry derided.

 

“Thought you said I was sexy and macho,” he mumbled despondently.

 

“Y’are,” Harry drawled in that lazy way he did sometimes.

 

“How?” Louis sulked.

 

Harry curled his body right over; kissing Louis’ hair.

 

“You just are, Lou.” He assured.

 

Louis sighed.

 

“But you’re also a very pretty limpet,” Harry added after a moment’s pause.

 

If Louis could have lifted a pillow, he would have hit him with it.

 

“Shut up, Styles,” he accused softly, settling in his lap. “You staying for a bit?”

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Mm-hmm,” he agreed out loud; stroking Louis’ hair still. “Relax, boyfriend…”

 

Louis followed his advice, satisfied that Harry didn’t need him right now, didn’t need anything from him. For once, he could lean on Harry and find unwavering love in return.

 

“Love you,” Louis sighed out as he felt his eyes close again.

 

Harry smiled at that, leaning his head back against the wall.

 

//

 

It was two more days before Louis was allowed out of the hospital. He was allowed out on the basis that Harry would move in to cook for him at night and Niall would pop in during the day to check on him and make his lunch. He was allowed to get his own breakfast and use the bathroom, to his relief.

 

Being waited on hand and foot wasn’t a pleasant experience and he’d had to deal with the Police when they’d come to get his statement about Simon. That had been a tough day and he’d been ever-grateful for Harry’s presence that evening when he’d found himself suddenly coming to terms with what happened and the after-effect of such a violent attack.

 

Harry had held him in strong, capable arms, had kissed him to sleep and had helped him shower the next morning, his body still weak and beaten; a sight he hadn’t wanted Harry to see at first but soon gave up when his beau insisted on helping.

 

Of course, for Louis, it was difficult letting others care for him, He’d always been the protector, always taken his confidence for granted. These last few days he’d felt very insular, very vulnerable.

 

He wondered if the change in dynamic would affect his and Harry’s relationship. It was so new; so untested and they didn’t really need a change like this, so soon.

 

“What’s wrong?” Harry’s voice was deep and concerned as Louis lay in his lap as they shared the sofa; Harry sat up watching the TV screen until he looked down at Louis.

 

“Nothing,” Louis lied.

 

“I heard your sigh,” Harry remarked “That wasn’t nothing…”

 

Louis pressed his lips together, working his way onto his back, looking up into Harry’s young, handsome face.

 

“I love you,” Louis said then, delaying his real reply.

 

Harry softened.

 

“I love you, too. Now tell me what’s up…”

 

Louis blinked; biting his lip the way he’d seen Harry do so many times. He was really becoming Harry, he mused.

 

“You don’t need to stay all the time if you don’t want to,” Louis said then, the subject surprising Harry.

 

“Oh,” he said, a little hurt but trying to be less selfish because really, it was up to Louis who he wanted staying with him.

 

“No, I mean, because this is weird, isn’t it? You looking after me? Do you find it weird?” Louis asked then, with a swallow.

 

Harry sucked his lip.

 

“Actually I-I kinda like it,” he admitted softly, blushing.

 

Louis gazed at him, awed.

 

“What?” He asked, stunned.

 

“I like it,” Harry repeated. “I like holding you and reassuring you and telling you it’ll be okay…because it makes me believe that it will be okay, that we’ll get through this and-”

 

“And?” Louis prompted as Harry stopped short.

 

“And I didn’t think I could do this,” Harry ventured shakily. “Be the strong one…so now I know I can…and I like it, I really like it…”

 

Louis blinked, smiling up at his beau. He shifted again; lazily getting to his knees to straddle Harry’s thighs; folding his arms around his neck and nuzzling his nose there, kissing his skin.

 

“Can someone tell me what I did to deserve you?” Louis wondered softly.

 

Harry slipped his arms around Louis’ waist; clutching his back.

 

“You waited,” Harry expended breathily.

 

Louis kissed his neck again, pulling away to kiss his mouth. He took Harry’s lips in a tender ownership; letting their slow; achingly sweet union start tingles across his whole body; making him groan in pleasure.

 

Harry pulled away, never more aware of their boundaries; of Louis’ still-healing body and his tendency toward tiredness at this hour.

 

Louis pouted.

 

“No?” He checked of Harry’s refusal.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

Louis sighed and gently climbed down, standing up from the sofa. He put out his hand.

 

“Come to bed?” He asked instead.

 

Harry rose with him and followed him through the house.

 

//

 

Louis was beginning to go stir-crazy stuck in the house all the time. When Niall came round at lunchtime the following day, it was to find his friend fully dressed and waiting on the other side of the front door, pushing him out as he tried to step in.

 

“We’re going for a walk,” Louis told him and Niall frowned, but turned to fall in step beside him.

 

“Any particular reason?” Niall wondered as they walked.

 

“I can’t stay in that house another minute,” Louis sighed agitatedly.

 

Niall smirked. “Figured you’d get antsy sooner or later,” he admitted with a nod.

 

Louis swallowed, peeking about him; aware of the leftover bruises on his face; the gash in his head that had stitches, the ache in his ribs, still.

 

Niall seemed to notice his pain because his uneasy gait gave him away.

 

“You okay, Lou?” Niall checked.

 

Louis nodded. “I guess I’m more bruised than I thought.”

 

Niall stopped.

 

“We can head back; jump in the car…” he offered.

 

Louis looked about them.

 

“They let him out, you know,” he said then.

 

“Who?” Niall asked.

 

“Simon- the guy that jumped me,” Louis reminded. “I’ve wanted to get outside for the last four days now but I know he’s still out there, somewhere…”

 

Niall blinked.

 

“They cautioned him though, right?”

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Have you told Harry about this?” Niall asked next.

 

Louis shook his head, making a bemused face which featured a smirk and run of his fingers through his messy hair. He hadn’t even bothered to style it for days now. His fingers brushed his stitched wound and he winced.

 

“I’m not sure what I’m supposed to tell him,” Louis admitted softly.

 

Niall noticed the way Louis’ body curled in on itself; the way his eyes seemed sunken and dark. He quickly stepped toward him and wrapped him in his arms.

 

“It’s gonna be okay, Lou, he won’t come back. You’ve got too many people to protect you now…”

 

Louis clung to Niall, needing his hug more than the Irish lad knew.

 

“How am I supposed to tell Harry that I’m scared?” he asked, his words mumbled against Niall’s t-shirt.

 

Niall let out an amused breath.

 

“You’re tellin’ me aren’t ya?” He pointed out.

 

Louis pulled away and looked up.

 

“You’re _my_ rock, that’s why,” Louis admitted softly. “I’m his,” he added pointedly.

 

“You’re also human,” Niall argued. “Nobody expects you to be brave all the time…”

 

Louis shook his head, tears gathering in his eyes but he wouldn’t let them fall.

 

“Harry needs me,” Louis murmured. “He needs me to be strong.”

 

“You can’t pretend not to affected by this, Lou,” Niall counseled. “Any one of us in your place would be scared to go out of the house. It doesn’t make any less of you by admitting it.”

 

“He already feels like he’s responsible for my recovery. If he knew how I was _really_ feeling, he’d be so hurt.” Louis worried.

 

“And when he finds out you’re lying to him, he’ll be even more hurt,” Niall warned.

 

“I’m not lying,” Louis denied quietly. “I’m just not telling him, that’s all.”

 

Niall gave him a long, hard look.

 

“If I have to, I’ll call him myself,” he threatened.

 

Louis squinted. “Some kind of friend you are…”

 

“Sorry, Tommo, but someone needs to tell you when you’re being an eejit, and you are my friend.” Niall teased.

 

Louis looked around them and sat on the curb; wrapping his arm around his ribs.

 

“I need to rest for a moment,” he decided, dipping his head.

 

Niall frowned; not sure what to do. By rights, Louis shouldn’t be feeling this ill from his injuries, but then he also shouldn’t have left the house. Now he understood why.

 

“Lou, I’m going to get my car and take you back in that,” he suggested, even though the distance was minimal.

 

Louis shook his head and stood, his pupils pin pointed as he blinked confusedly at the sights around him.

 

“Wherem’I?” He wondered; his vision swimming.

 

Niall opened his mouth in shock and quickly dashed forward as Louis’ body began to veer sideways.

 

“Oh, shit,” he cast, catching Louis’ limp form in his arms which he struggled to hold so he gently laid him on the ground, pulling out his phone.

 

Harry answered on the third ring.

 

“Don’t tell me, you can’t find the tin opener? Harry greeted with a wry joke.

 

Niall swallowed.

 

“Harry, I need you to come home,” He said, knowing he’d make the other lad worry.

 

“What? Why?” Harry asked with a gasp of breath in.

 

“Louis just fainted in the street and I can’t carry him back,” Niall explained. “You’re the first person I thought to call…”

 

“Yeah…yeah, of course,” Harry replied. “I’ll be there in a jiffy,” he assured, ending the call.

 

Niall cradled Louis’ prone body in his lap; hoping he’d be okay.

 

//

 

Harry arrived on the scene with a wheel skid and a dramatic exit from his car, dashing out toward the pavement where Niall sat with Louis in his arms.

 

Harry knelt down with a wild look in his eyes.

 

“Is he okay?” he panted, breathless with panic.

 

“I think so,” Niall replied. “He wanted to get out the house but he looked in pain and then he passed out…”

 

Harry nodded and quickly gathered up Louis’ body in his arms; juggling him into place as he stood.

 

“I’ll carry him back,” he suggested. “Can you park my car up by the house?”

 

Niall nodded and brought the car up, letting them into Louis’ house as they got to the door.

 

Harry quickly laid him on the sofa and went about fetching ice and painkillers along with water.

 

“We should probably take him back to A&E but he really didn’t want to be there,” he sighed; tenderly stroking back Louis’ fringe with his gentle fingers.

 

Niall nodded behind him, watching Harry as he carefully put ice cubes into a tea-towel and pressed them to the back of Louis’ head where his injury sat, then asked Niall to bring a cold flannel which he rung out and cupped to the back of his neck.

 

“Lou?” Harry called softly; seeing his lids flutter. “Louis…babe…”

 

Niall perched in an armchair; awaiting the signal that Louis was okay before he left for the afternoon.

 

Louis writhed on the sofa; painfully. Harry quickly lifted his torso to sit under him; propping him up to push pills into his mouth and following them with a glass to Louis’ lips which he tipped up to help Louis drink and swallow his painkillers.

 

“Poison,” Louis whispered, his voice barely-there. “Are you feeding me poison?”

 

Harry smirked, shooting Niall an amused look.

 

“Do you want to kill him or shall I?”

 

Niall winked, standing. “I’ll leave that to you. Call me if you need me to do anything- anything at all,” he added, choosing a discreet exit as he sensed the couple needed some time alone.

 

Harry nodded and cradled Louis carefully in his arms; stroking his thumb across his pale cheek.

 

“You’d better wish that was poison when I’m done with you,” he husked, his voice so soft that his words lost their effect, almost.

 

Louis scrunched his eyes shut and barely shifted; only to turn toward Harry's touch.

 

“Hey, it’ll pass,” Harry soothed. “They just take a while to kick in…”

 

Louis’ body went heavy and Harry let him naturally rest into his lap, cupping the back of his head with one large hand to comfort his injury and gently resting his other across his middle, careful not to touch his ribs.

 

He wasn’t sure if Louis was asleep or not; or just in so much pain his body had given up. He briefly worried about the level of pain Louis was in considering how he was the day before but then he wondered if he’d not taken his painkillers at all today and then just charged out of the house without thinking.

 

Probably, he mused.

 

He closed his eyes and began to sing, a song he’d heard on the radio that reminded him of his Lou and he found the moment fitting to sing it.

 

“# _Your hand fits in mine like it's made just for me  But bear this mind it was meant to be  And I'm joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks And it all makes sense to me I know you've never loved the crinkles by your eyes when you smile You've never loved your stomach or your thighs  The dimples in your back at the bottom of your spine  But I'll love them endlessly  I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth  But if I do, it's you, oh it's you, they add up to  I'm in love with you and all these little things You can't go to bed without a cup of tea Maybe that's the reason that you talk in your sleep And all those conversations are the secrets that I keep  Though it makes no sense to me  I know you've never loved the sound of your voice on tape  You never want to know how much you weigh  You still have to squeeze into your jeans But you're perfect to me  I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth But if it's true, it's you, it's you, they add up to I'm in love with you and all these little things  You never love yourself half as much as I love you  You'll never treat yourself right darling but I want you to  If I let you know, I'm here for you Maybe you'll love yourself like I love you oh I've just let these little things slips out of my mouth  Because it's you, oh it's you, it's you they add up to  And I'm in love with you (all these little things)  I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth  But if it's true, it's you, it's you they add up to  I'm in love with you, and all your little things_ #”

 

 

When Harry opened his eyes with a sigh out, he was startled to see two hooded blue eyes gazing at him from his lap. He quickly touched Louis’ cheek.

 

“Lou?”

 

Louis barely smiled.

 

“These pills make me feel like a zombie,” he complained.

 

Harry smiled back.

 

“But it doesn’t hurt so much?” He checked.

 

“No,” Louis confirmed. “But I imagine things like my boyfriend singing mushy songs to me…”

 

Harry blushed.

 

“You didn’t imagine it.”

 

Louis blinked and then a smile drifted across his lips.

 

“I hoped I hadn’t.”

 

“You didn’t,” Harry repeated, mumbling, feeling awkward.

 

“It was beautiful,” Louis husked.

 

“You’re welcome,” Harry gave him a crooked smile.

 

Louis’ eyes closed again.

 

“How did I get on the sofa?” He wondered belatedly.

 

“I carried you,” Harry shared lightly; still supporting his head and now holding Louis’ hand as he reached for his.

 

“You did? Was Niall here?” He checked.

 

“Mm-hmm,” Harry agreed.

 

“Did I fall?” He wondered.

 

“You went for a walk with Niall and passed out,” Harry explained. “He called me and I came and carried you home.”

 

“Home,” Louis repeated softly.

 

“Yeah, home,” Harry agreed, wondering why he was focusing on that one word.

 

Louis smile grew, became goofy.

 

“This is home to you,” he said, explaining his thoughts.

 

 _Oh_.

 

Harry gulped.

 

 _Shoot, yeah_. It kinda was. How was that?

 

“Erm…” he blushed hard and tried to find a way out of that one.

 

Louis reached up and Harry frowned confusedly; reaching for his wrist to gently stop him, but he determinedly kept going until he grasped the chain around Harry’s neck.

 

“You have my ring…” Louis murmured.

 

Harry bit his lip.

 

“Yeah, I put it on at the hospital to keep it safe…” He said as he unclasped it and gently replaced it around Louis’ neck.

 

His hair was damp at the back where he’d had the flannel and ice working on Louis’ injuries and his face was pale and creased with the ends of pain, but Harry flicked his eyes down to that ring that now nestled between his collar-bones right by his tattoos and he couldn’t help feel the wave of emotion that came with that sight.

 

“How rough do I look on a scale of one to ten?” Louis squinted up at Harry suspiciously.

 

Harry smiled the tiniest, loving little smile that curved the tips of his lips and he leaned down to gently kiss Louis’ forehead.

 

“Zero,” he assured huskily.

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“Liar…”

 

“Lou…why did you go out today?” Harry asked gently.

 

Louis sighed.

 

“Fed up of being in here,” he admitted.

 

“I could have taken you out,” he added.

 

“I know,” Louis nodded. “I just didn’t want to bother you. You’re at work all day and babysitting me at night so…”

 

Harry gazed at him.

 

“S’not babysitting.” He mumbled. “I’m just looking after you. You’d have done it for me,” he added almost defensively.

 

“And you’d be a far better patient than I am,” Louis conceded with a lip-press.

 

“Do you want to lay in your bed?” Harry asked as Louis continued to lay with his eyes closed.

 

Louis fidgeted.

 

“No, like it here,” he decided of Harry’s lap.

 

“But I want to make you some soup and clean up the place…” Harry suggested.

 

Louis clutched Harry’s shirt-front.

 

“Don’t want you to go, yet,” he expressed.

 

Harry frowned, seeing Louis’ face crinkle again and he wondered if his injuries were worse than any of them first thought.

 

“Lou? Are you in pain again?”

 

Louis shook his head; burrowing into Harry’s stomach, his body curling sideways.

 

Harry put his hands on him soothingly; not sure what to do.

 

“Then what…? Why…?”

 

“Haz…” Louis whispered, so quietly and muffled against Harry’s shirt that he had to lean over to hear but without crushing Louis’ to his body.

 

“What’s wrong?” Harry asked firmly, needing to know if he needed to call an ambulance or not.

 

“I-I’m _scared_ ,” Louis finally cast; his body curled and prone and Harry sat and gaped for a moment at the shock of his admission.

 

He’d thought maybe once Louis left the hospital the fear would kick in; or even before then but it seemed like his emotional reaction to his attack had been delayed. Maybe going outside was more taxing on him than just his injuries, Harry realized.

 

He curled his arms around Louis’ smaller body and cocooned him with his own; not sure if he was suffocating him but he was more bothered about Louis feeling safe right now. Louis wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist awkwardly and Harry knew then that he could breathe, was okay curled into his shirt.

 

“Lou…god…it’s okay,” Harry extended. “It’s okay to be scared, shoot, I’d be petrified right now if it was me…but I’m not going to let anything happen to you okay? I promise…”

 

Harry wasn’t sure if his words were having an effect; if they even meant anything at all since Louis probably knew that Harry was woefully unable to fight off any threat, but still; he wanted the words to mean something, his intent to mean something.

 

He felt Louis wriggle; loosened his arms for him to move as he intended to and he gladly accepted him into his lap where Louis straddled his legs and folded his arms around his neck; laying his cheek on his large shoulder. He could hold him better this way- tighter; with bigger arms. He could stroke his back and his hair. He could lay gentle kisses down the side of his face, over his hair. He could squeeze him, so tight that it almost hurt him; breathing in his smell and covering him with love.

 

Louis went limp against him and Harry realized he was probably exhausted from his short expedition today and the lack of painkillers his body had to cope. He cupped Louis’ head and shifted, murmuring to him to put his legs around him so Harry could stand; holding him close as he climbed the stairs to his room and lay him in the bed; careful of his stitches; pulling the cover over him.

 

He kissed his temple and snuck out; going about the tasks he’d earlier mentioned.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for comments and kudos, as always!
> 
> Ang

** chapter 14 **

 

 

Harry was just seasoning his soup as his cell rang and he hooked it out of his pocket and pressed ‘answer’ to Zayn’s incoming call.

 

“Hey,” Zayn greeted. “Heard Louis took a tumble earlier…”

 

Harry smiled at his humour.

 

“Yeah…he’s okay now,” he assured.

 

“Niall is worrying like crazy and was too scared to call,” Zayn said then and Harry heard a ‘was not!’ in the background.

 

“Are you two living together now?” Harry enquired.

 

“No, he’s over for dinner,” Zayn replied.

 

“Well you can tell him that Louis is okay…I think it’s just all hitting him now,” he added softly, worriedly.

 

“Okay, do you need anything from us?” Zayn checked.

 

Harry smiled again at his support.

 

“I have to get some clothes at some point but I’m going to call work tomorrow and tell them I’m not coming in for a few days, I’ll take it as holiday,” he shared as he planned it in his head.

 

“I don’t think Louis will mind if you don’t have clothes,” Zayn piped up, making Harry giggle at his audacious joke.

 

“Shut up,” he teased fondly.

 

“Good to hear you laugh,” Zayn said.

 

Harry nodded, and then hummed to agree since Zayn couldn’t see him.

 

“Niall said he’d come by tomorrow to do lunch anyway,” Zayn added as Harry heard Niall speaking again in the background and waited for the conversation to finish.

 

“I can get my stuff while he’s here,” Harry decided.

 

“Alright, well, if you need anything else…” Zayn offered.

 

“Thanks Zayn,” Harry appreciated.

 

“You can call anytime, okay? Don’t even think about it…”

 

“I will, thank you.”

 

“Haz? Can we catch up soon?” Zayn asked then.

 

Harry frowned bemusedly at his request.

 

“Of course. Everything okay?” He checked.

 

“I miss you, bro,” Zayn admitted. “Feel like I haven’t seen you since you met that Louis bloke…”

 

“And you haven’t been with Niall at all, either,” he chided softly.

 

“I know,” Zayn accepted. “But I want Harry time,” he specified.

 

“Okay, how about this weekend? We can do lunch Sunday. I’ll cook, just me and you,” he promised.

 

“Sounds good,” Zayn grinned and Harry could hear it in his voice.

 

“Are you cheating on me again?” Niall asked loudly and Harry chuckled.

 

“He’s prettier than you!” Zayn shouted back and Harry shook his head at their shenanigans.

 

“I should go, I have to feed Louis,” Harry excused.

 

“Okay, look after him, Niall will never forgive me if you don’t…”

 

“I will. Goodnight Zayn,” he parted ways with his friend and got a tray ready, loading it with soup, buttered sliced bread, a Twix and a glass of freshly squeezed juice.

 

He added a small vase and a lone red rose he’d bought on his way here; blushing slightly at his soppy gesture. He carried the whole lot up the stairs with careful slowness; determined not to trip or fall with his cargo.

 

He pushed against Louis’ door with his hip; turning to bring the tray inside and he paused; watching Louis asleep for a few moments with a soft smile on his face. He looked so peaceful, so content, and so…unafraid.

 

He almost didn’t want to wake him.

 

“Louis? Babe, I made you something to eat,” Harry called gently, sitting on the side of the bed and putting the tray on the side stand for a moment as he leaned across and kissed into his conker-brown hair.

 

“Not hungry,” came Louis’ muffled groan.

 

“Fresh home-made chicken soup…” Harry tempted him with a knowing brow arch.

 

Louis stirred. His head lifted from his arms where he was sprawled on his front.

 

“Chicken?” He asked huskily, squinting into the low light of the room.

 

Harry nodded.

 

“Home made?” he checked.

 

Harry smiled.

 

“Yours?” He questioned finally and Harry blinked patiently.

 

“Mine,” he assured.

 

Louis scraped himself into a sitting position and folded the duvet over his stomach; accepting the tray.

 

“Come this side,” Louis patted the empty side of the bed and Harry walked round; sitting cross-legged sideways to him, watching him intently as he ate.

 

“Are you food monitor or something?” Louis asked, swallowing half of his glass of juice quickly, slipping his painkillers in and taking another sip. “Good juice,” he added.

 

“Squeezed it myself,” Harry smiled proudly.

 

Louis casually reached out and grabbed his hand, twining their fingers, eating one-handed.

 

“You shouldn’t have done all this,” Louis denied softly.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“Wanted to.”

 

Louis picked up the rose bud and smiled at Harry.

 

“My turn for flowers, huh?” His eyes shone, just a little and it bolstered Harry’s confidence a little.

 

“Yep,” he nodded with a grin.

 

Louis tilted his head bemusedly as he picked up the Twix bar.

 

“How did you know I like these?” He wondered.

 

Harry shrugged.

 

“Little bird,” he winked.

 

“Niall,” Louis guessed and Harry grinned again, all dimples and blush.

 

Louis managed his soup and one of the slices of bread before sharing his Twix with Harry.

 

“How do you feel now?” Harry asked as he took Louis’ tray away.

 

“Better,” Louis assured.

 

Harry nodded. “Good.”

 

“Are you staying?” Louis asked as Harry turned toward the door.

 

Harry turned and smiled.

 

“Of course.”

 

Louis nodded and settled into his pillows.

 

//

 

Harry had spent the night holding Louis’ little injured body before hauling himself out of bed to call Karen and discuss his need for holiday. Karen quickly agreed to cover for Harry whilst Louis’ tasks were being covered by his boss- the Department Head.

 

Louis slept most of the morning away and Harry was grateful to see Niall’s face when he arrived and he gave him a big hug; even more surprised to see Zayn had accompanied him.

 

“What’re you doing here?” Harry accused softly, with a thankful smile.

 

Zayn shrugged. “Like annoying you.”

 

Harry chuckled and let Niall in, while Zayn offered to take Harry home and help him pack some clothes for his extended stay which gave them some time away from Louis and his friend.

 

Harry came back toting his luggage case; filled with clothes and essentials which he stored in the spare room while Niall and Zayn sat and talked football with his beau.

 

He snuck out of the spare room when he was done and knocked lightly on Louis’ bedroom door.

 

“Hey,” he grinned at the three. “Why don’t you go and sit in the garden for a bit?” he suggested.

 

Louis looked at Harry longingly.

 

“You joining?” He checked.

 

Harry shook his head. “Something I need to do quickly,” he said only.

 

Zayn waggled his brows and Harry swiped him.

 

“Shut up, Malik,” he teased; letting the three men leave the room allowing him the shut the door and strip the bed; like he intended.

 

Louis would never let him do such things while he was here so he took full advantage of the moment and quickly redressed the bed, cleaned the en-suite and then slipped back into his room to grab the things he’d bought to cheer Louis up.

 

He propped a big, white stuffed bear on the bed that had an embroidered red heart on its tummy saying ‘I love you’, he laid a little candle on the side and lit it to freshen the room, he added a vase and a handful of flowers he’d ‘borrowed’ from his neighbour’s garden- something Zayn had accompanied him doing and he lay a lovely crochet blanket over the fresh duvet set; giving Louis a little comfort in the room.

 

He stood back and sighed; pleased with his work so he went over to the window and let in some fresh air; turning toward the door to go down and join his friends.

 

“Hey, what’re you doing up h-” Louis’ voice paused as he swung open the door.

 

Harry stood awkwardly and bit his lip, tucking his hands behind his back and leaning one hip out like a shy schoolgirl.

 

Louis’ eyes flicked to his. Harry sucked in the lip he’d been biting.

 

“You did this for me?” He awed.

 

Harry nodded.

 

Louis stepped further into the room and brought his hands up to cup Harry’s face.

 

“Haz…I-”

 

Louis gave up on words and leaned up instead; drawing Harry’s lower lip from his mouth with a press of his thumb to his chin before kissing him, owning that lip himself. Harry centered himself and kissed him back; this sensory delight feeling like a long-lost pleasure that they hadn’t enjoyed nearly enough the last few days.

 

Louis took the lead and tightened his arms; pulling Harry close as Harry curled him into his own strong hold; kissing him as beautifully as he was being kissed. Louis flicked his tongue out; Harry let his answer the call, meshing their mouths in a way that had become so exquisite, it was no longer just kissing.

 

Harry let out a moan as Louis’ hands roamed; curving into his sides; encroaching his sensitive spot. He pulled away as those hands curved over his butt.

 

“The guys,” he sucked in air as he broke their kiss.

 

“Gone,” Louis assured lowly.

 

“What?” Harry frowned.

 

“Kicked them out,” Louis shared. “Told them I wanted to make love to my man…”

 

Harry waited five seconds before Louis broke into a stunning grin.

 

“Okay, maybe I wasn’t _that_ honest,” he conceded.

 

Harry let out a relieved breath and tenderly kissed Louis’ mouth once more.

 

“Wish we could but you’re not better,” he deemed.

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“I feel fine today.” He assured.

 

Harry tilted his head in a way that said ‘Lou’ without him using the word or the tone that matched.

 

“Please?” Louis begged.

 

Harry wasn’t sure exactly how Louis planned to do this without getting more hurt than he was already. He peered at him with wide eyes.

 

“You could hurt your rib,” Harry mused.

 

Louis reached up and cupped his neck, pulling him back in for a kiss- a kiss that became strong and owning despite its gentle start.

 

“Please, Haz…I need you…” Louis whispered, rubbing up against Harry’s taller body.

 

“Okay…how about you lay down and I’ll go on top?” Harry suggested a position that might not hurt him.

 

Louis all but grinned like a kid who got a Transformer for Christmas.

 

“Fine,” he agreed quickly; hastening for the bed, throwing off his clothes on the way; trying not to let Harry see his pauses as each movement hurt.

 

Harry followed and lay down beside him, starting a leisurely and gentle kissing session that turned into their bodies twining; needing to be closer as their passions rose slowly. Their lips were soft, insistent but so tender, loving, sweet and slow that Harry could lay here all night kissing Louis this way; like there was nothing better to be doing than pressing their mouths together; testing their love; their limits. His body was hard, achingly so, already.

 

Louis had tried to reach for the lube and failed so Harry reached it for him, passing it over. Louis drew his thigh up, over his hip, allowing him the access he needed to slip his fingers into Harry’s ass, stretching his muscles ready. Harry whimpered and thrusted his naked body against Louis’ needing friction, finding it in Louis’ answering hardness.

 

They lay like that awhile, intimate and intense in their foreplay, eyes constantly gazing, not shying away from the reactions they each gave.

 

“I could love you forever,” Louis sighed, taking Harry’s lips once more, pressing into him even though he was the one going underneath.

 

Harry took his cue and pinned Louis playfully to the bed, wrists by his shoulders as he straddled his thighs.

 

Louis gazed up at him; eyes dark with lust; body tight with need as Harry took him in his hand and steadied himself by grasping Louis’ other hand with tight, twined fingers as he lifted it up for him to support himself with.

 

As he lowered himself, the broach of Louis’ body into his was a reminder of how big his beau was; of how tight his own body was, of how little he had done this. He sucked in a breath and pressed down, determined to take more. His body protested, fluttered and spasmed against the invasion. Harry met Louis’ gaze and got off on his desired look; the way his tattooed body was laid beneath him; taut and sexy.

 

He ran his hands up from his belly to his chest; pushing down again to take another inch.

 

Louis’ hands automatically rose to clutch his hips, wanting to pull him down while his hips itched to thrust up but he knew he had to hold back; to let Harry have this time to ease into this. He cupped Harry's neck and pulled him down for a kiss; brushing his lips lightly against the other lad’s, teasing him with the butterfly touch.

 

Harry groaned and pushed down; all the way there and feeling the benefit of that move as Louis brushed his pleasure-spot.

 

“Lou…daddy,” Harry gasped; rocking his hips experimentally.

 

“Fuck,” Louis hissed; bucking his hips, fucking into Harry harder than he intended, his body moving of its own accord without his brains permission. “Sorry,” he quickly whispered, lifting Harry’s hand to kiss his palm. “I’m sorry…”

 

Harry blinked, full of Louis and needing more. He began to move, found a gentle rhythm that he felt wouldn’t hurt Louis, and served him the time he needed to get used to this. He rocked his hips; put his hands down to the mattress when he wanted more leverage; found he could kiss Louis that way; cup his head and save his stitches from rubbing the pillow.

 

Louis reached out and began to stroke him; pulsing his hips only gently to fuck up into Harry; letting the other lad do all the work as he’d intended. It was probably the most meaningful sex Louis had ever had, he realized. Eyes connected, bodies’ connected, slow, intense love being made.

 

“Harry,” he husked; feeling his high nearing; hitting Harry's prostate at every grind; hearing his whimpers and groans of pleasure each time he did so.

 

“Can’t stop, daddy…” Harry whispered, still rocking, still taking him.

 

Louis reached to grasp his hips, trying to slow him, to stop him, to prevent him any pain tomorrow but Harry was intent on drilling down, on taking him, every inch, every fill…It was all Louis could do not to howl like a werewolf would at the moon such was his ecstasy in that moment.

 

“Har-” He gasped out, his body prickling with pre-orgasm, his knees drawing up so his feet could lay flat to the mattress allowing his hips the freedom to drive; right into Harry’s already full ass.

 

He saw Harry’s face crumble; saw the tears break the corners of his eyes. He knew what pain he was causing- as well as the pleasure, the sweet pleasure as he tugged at his dick and brought stars to Harry’s eyes.

 

“Daddy, yes!” Harry cried. “Yes, harder…”

 

Louis didn’t think he had anything left to go harder; he wasn’t in the right position to really drill him, but he pulled down on Harry’s hips one last time as his climax broke, long and strong and he hoped to god Harry’s had broken too because there was no way in hell he was moving. Not for a really long time.

 

He sucked in desperate air; willing his hurt body to stop protesting; enjoying the endorphins that whizzed around him with the pleasure of his release.

 

He kissed Harry’s curls as he lay haphazardly on his chest, thankfully forgetting Louis’ injuries for those moments so Louis could hold him; kissing the top of his head still.

 

“Amazing, so bloody amazing,” Louis complimented.

 

Harry seemed to realise what he was doing for he pulled away sharply with a gasp.

 

“Shoot! Sorry…why didn’t you say? Why didn’t you say something?” he worried, gently easing himself from Louis’ body to lay beside him on the bed.

 

“Because I like holding you?” Louis suggested huskily, turning over to his side to face Harry.

 

Harry dimpled and snuggled closer; letting Louis retain his hugging rights but side by side this time. Harry let his head lay on Louis’ shoulder the tiniest amount.

 

“Are you hurting?” Harry murmured.

 

Louis let out an amused breath of air.

 

“Was about to ask you that,” he mused.

 

“You first,” Harry insisted.

 

Louis brushed his thumb over Harry’s cheek tenderly, kissing him.

 

“I ache a little,” he shared.

 

Harry nodded. “You can have more pills before bed.”

 

“How’re you?” Louis asked in return.

 

Harry’s eyes twinkled before his mouth even completed his smile. It was huge one, which nearly split his face.

 

“Amazing,” he answered.

 

“In pain?” Louis checked, knowing he had pushed Harry’s body too far with his own. He squinted as Harry answered, as if that would help him see a lie.

 

Harry shook his head, biting his lip. Louis knew he was lying but he also knew Harry wouldn’t want him to know about it if he was. There was nothing he could do; it was a natural part of their sex life, but still, Louis couldn’t help but blame himself for getting too caught up in the moment to really care for Harry the way he should be.

 

He pulled Harry closer, kissed his forehead.

 

“Let’s sleep for a while,” he suggested.

 

Harry happily curled into his arms and rested his eyes.

 

//

 

“# _I’m in love with love Lou and his little things_ …#” Harry sang as he glided around the kitchen, making breakfast for his boyfriend.

 

He twirled the ring on his middle finger with a big, soppy grin on his face and as though he wasn’t supposed to be showcasing such loved-up obviousness, he bit his lip to rein it in.

 

“# _I won't let these little things slip out of my mouth But if it's true, it's Lou, it's Lou, they add up to I'm in love with Lou and all his little things.#”_

He smirked. Oh boy, he really had it bad, he realized. He made a face at himself in a ‘so what’ gesture and loaded up the tray with his morning offering.

 

Harry was awkward when he bundled into the room; wearing only a pair of boxer-briefs that he’d borrowed from Louis since he couldn’t find the black pants he’d flung off the day before.

 

“Rise and shine,” Harry greeted with the grin he couldn’t contain.

 

His green eyes sparkled and his healthy pale skin glowed. Louis watched him and figured he’d struck it very lucky with his partner.

 

“C’mere,” he reached out an arm while Harry tried to present him with his tray.

 

Harry balanced the tray on Louis’ lap before moving into his reach; finding Louis cupping his neck to draw him closer; sharing a kiss that almost melted him; and definitely blew his socks off (had he been wearing any).

 

“You’re welcome,” Harry husked of his thank you.

 

“That wasn’t thank you,” Louis smirked. “That was _my god you look fuckable kiss me now_ ,” he shared.

 

Harry gaped, mock-insulted as he rose to come round to ‘his’ side of the bed, crawling back in under the covers.

 

“So what’s thank you?” He asked pointedly.

 

Louis looked over at him and gave him a sexy grin.

 

“I can suck you off later if you like?” He offered candidly.

 

Harry narrowed his eyes.

 

“So romantic,” he complained.

 

Louis shrugged. “Don’t say I didn’t offer…”

 

“Your ribs can’t cope with that kind of activity anyway,” Harry derided.

 

Louis made a noise of agreement, his mouth now full with Harry’s omlette. He’d closed his eyes and groaned out in pleasure, a sight that made Harry blush.

 

“Is it ok?” He asked, unnecessarily.

 

Louis looked at him.

 

“It’s awful. I need another one.” He teased.

 

Harry rolled his eyes.

 

“You’re not eating?” Louis noted.

 

Harry pinkened. “I had cereal while I was cooking,” he shared.

 

Louis smiled at his easy-blush.

 

“Glad to hear it,” he said. “Are you going home today?”

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“Staying till your better,” he said resolutely.

 

Louis finished his breakfast and turned toward Harry.

 

“You don’t have to be here 24/7.” Louis expressed softly, reaching for Harry’s hand and squeezing it. “Although I love having you here…”

 

Harry shrugged. “Nothing to do at home, got holiday all week and you need me,” he explained.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Maybe we can go for a walk later?” He asked.

 

Harry smiled.

 

“Of course.”

 

“Not too far,” Louis added.

 

Harry squeezed his hand where they were still joined.

 

“I’ll protect you,” he said softly.

 

Louis flicked him a look; a soft smile on his lips. The softness of it seemed to seep into his eyes.

 

“I love you,” Louis said then.

 

Harry blinked, his lazy, sleepy-green eyes shining.

 

“I love you too.,” he replied.

 

 

//

 

Harry’s ‘room’ in Louis' house didn’t stay that way for long. He moved his stuff through bit by bit the more time he spent there; basically sharing Louis’ room as though they were truly living together.

 

It hadn’t been his intention but Louis would often go in there and steal something of his to wear from his case-usually one of his jumpers or his pajamas- and once Harry found him in them with a startled observation, he would say that he felt more comfortable in his clothes, that he didn’t like any of his own.

 

Harry noticed that soon all of his things had ended up in Louis' drawers and wardrobes and his case lay empty on the spare bed. The bear he’d bought him sat proudly in the middle of the bed and Harry often found Louis cuddled up with it while he slept during his recovery.

 

Louis was out and about walking nearly every day now. Zayn and Niall had both been by to test Louis’ wellness by challenging him to X-box and Harry had enjoyed that particular death-match maybe the most.

 

The way he and Louis sat side by side on the sofa, he with his legs crossed, Louis’ bent up and overlapping in a casual but unifying manner. The way their friends piled in with them, not seeing anything unusual about their temporary living arrangement; taking it for granted now that one of them would not be seen without the other.

 

Louis’ confidence had grown in those days, his fears receded. He still only went out with one of his friends to accompany him but overall, as his health and strength improved, so did his outlook.

 

It was Sunday night when Harry went into the spare room to get his case. Louis was already in bed for an early night, planning to ease back into work by logging on from home the following day and Harry was due back at the office from his long break.

 

As he came through the bedroom door, Louis noted his case right away.

 

“What’re you doing?” He wondered.

 

Harry gave him a sad smile, his dimples present but almost mocking. _So_ _sad we had to come out and cry_ , they seemed to say. __  
  


“Packing,” he replied, although this was obvious.

 

“You’re going?” Louis asked, surprised.

 

Harry darted him a look.

 

“I thought we decided…you said you didn’t want a nurse-maid all the time and I thought since you were feeling better…” He tailed off, confused.

 

He felt a blush creep up his cheeks, wondering if he had missed something.

 

Louis frowned and climbed out of bed, coming around it to meet Harry in the middle of the room. He reached out and took Harry’s hands in his own; one including the handle of his case.

 

“I must have forgotten,” he frowned bemusedly.

 

“Sorry,” Harry extended. “If you need me to stay longer, I can…” he added quickly.

 

Louis gave him a slow smile.

 

“No, I must have forgotten to ask you,” he said again, still not finishing his thought.

 

He took a deep breath, nervous of his words, of Harry’s reply.

 

Harry lifted his brows, waiting.

 

“Ask me what?” Harry finally prompted.

 

Louis bit his lip, and then looked up.

 

“If you’d stay.” He said, then. “Like…if you’d move in, basically,” he added softly afterwards.

 

Harry blinked.

 

_Had he just…?_

 

Surely not. _No way_. No, there was no way on this earth that Louis had just asked him to-

 

“You can say no,” Louis said quickly, breathless with unease. “Don’t feel obliged

to say yes, I won’t mind if you say no…your own space and that,” he babbled uncharacteristically.

 

“Yes,” Harry breathed, somewhat recovering from his stupor.

 

“What?” Louis looked up, sure he had missed that.

 

“Yes, I’ll move in with you,” Harry said.

 

“I-er-oh,” Louis blinked, stunned. He’d expected opposition, an argument, even.

 

“If you still want,” Harry added, equally nervous, apparently.

 

“I want,” Louis confirmed quickly, without missing a breath.

 

“I want, too,” Harry agreed.

 

“You’re sure you’re okay with moving here?” Louis checked. “If you’re attached to your place, I can move my stuff there…”

 

Harry took his hands from Louis', dropped his case and slipped his arms around Louis' middle.

 

“Wanna be with you,” he said softly.

 

Louis smiled; a beam that he saved only for these moments, when Harry indulged him.

 

“Your sanity test hasn’t been confirmed,” he muttered, still awed by Harry’s agreement.

 

Harry tilted his head.

 

“Can we go to bed now?” He asked.

 

Louis tiptoed to kiss his cheek.

 

“I’d love nothing more.”

 

//

 

Louis went back to the office a week later.  His body was all but healed and although he still felt infinitely vulnerable, he knew the only way to change that was to get back to normal. 

 

A normal that now included living with Harry.

 

It was strange at first, seeing the extent of his OCD tendencies but even after these few days, Louis felt stronger in the knowledge he was going to bed with Harry tonight-and every night from now on. 

 

After a very long meeting with the top bosses Louis felt quite washed out. In the meeting they'd discussed the fact Louis was now in a relationship with his PA.

 

They'd talked about the options of one of them changing jobs. They'd talked about how that person should be Harry because they wanted Louis to stay, winning new accounts.

 

Louis felt torn. His last relationship had ended because Nick had assured him he was happy to change jobs and then gone and met someone better. He didn't doubt that Harry would also meet better men than him but he fingered the ring at his neck to remind him that Harry wouldn't leave him the way Nick had.

 

And he knew that Harry's lack of confidence would make this change a struggle especially if he felt trapped into doing it. So he felt that really, he should consider the possibility of leaving, too.

 

The idea didn't intimidate him as much as it should. If it kept him and Harry together he'd literally do anything to ensure that happened. 

 

And so he called Harry into his office in the afternoon, tired and headachy. He rubbed his temple with his fingers as he perched on the edge of his desk; motioning Harry to sit.

 

Harry ignored him and came over; slipping an arm around his waist as he shuffled between his thighs, lifting one hand to stroke back his hair gently,  peering into his eyes to get the truth.

 

"Are you okay?" Harry asked a breathy whisper.

 

Louis swallowed, looking up. He wrapped his arms around Harry's middle and leaned forward, laying his cheek to his shirt front. 

 

He sighed.

 

"Not really,” he admitted. 

 

Harry pulled back a little and kissed him slowly; tenderly before pulling away.

 

"It's okay," he hummed. “You can tell me..."

 

Louis gave up on making him sit. Now that the taller man was in his arms, he didn't want to let go. Literally anyone could burst into his office without knocking and they'd be found this way and he didn't care one iota.

 

"I'm not sure how to say this," Louis' face creased painfully. 

 

Harry chewed his upper lip, suddenly nervous. He wrapped his gentle fingers around Louis neck, overlapping the collar of his white shirt.

 

"Tell me, Lou," he murmured. 

 

Louis swallowed. 

 

"I had a meeting with the big bosses. They know about us," he added, although Harry was well aware that the whole office now knew about them since Louis' attack. He held his breath as he waited for the rest of Louis' words. 

 

"They've made it clear they want me to stay here.. That you should take another position, " he added softly as if trying to comfort Harry in the harshness of those words.

 

"Okay,” Harry breathed out, nodding, sensing more was to come.

 

"They want you to go to LA and manage the Solo account," he finished quietly; digging his fingers into Harry's sides as if knowing he was about to break free.

 

He did anyway, to stride about the room.

 

"What? They want me to what?" He muttered after his moment of pause.  "Do they have any idea about me? Any at all?! I can't go there. ..There’s no way..." He babbled. 

 

Louis swallowed and stood straight, not sure he could ease Harry's panic.

 

"They know you're more than capable of doing this," Louis said. 

 

"But it's too much!" Harry gasped his breathing tight and shallow.  "And what about us?" He asked, horrified. “They send me there and I lose you?"

 

Louis shook his head.

 

"We can work us out later. Right now you need to think about what's best for you and this is an amazing opportunity, Harold. You can't pass it up..."

 

"No!" He whined, pushing his hands into his hair. "This can't be happening!”

 

"Harry, it's okay," Louis moved toward him, his arms out to try and catch him from his panicked laps around his office.

 

"No it's not!” he twirled, angry green eyes settling on Louis, his lower lip trembling tellingly. “They can't make me go...please," he begged. "Please, daddy, don't make me go..."

 

Harry's shoulders folded in and he began to shake, his quiet sobs punctuated by drips of his tears to the carpet where he bowed his head.

 

Louis quickly crossed the room and wrapped Harry in his arms; kissing his hair as he murmured soothing things. 

 

"Hey, we'll work this out, okay? You don't have to go; we'll find something else..."

 

Harry shook his head, clutching onto Louis.

 

"Don't want another job. Want this one.  Want to be with you..."

 

"I know," Louis shushed him gently. "You don't have to leave, let's just think about this okay?" He rubbed Harry's big shoulders protectively. 

 

"Daddy," Harry whined, burrowing his face into Louis' neck, kissing there.

 

His hand slid between them, cupping Louis through the front of his trousers; his lips dragging messily across Louis' cheek toward his mouth, begging for contact, for confirmation. 

 

Louis gave it to him. _It’s okay. I love you...I love you_ , his kiss seemed to say. _It's really okay..._

 

"Please daddy," Harry sighed, his wrist caught in Louis' hand as he dragged it away from his body. 

 

"As much as I want you right now, this isn't a good idea," he mused. 

 

Harry’s swollen lips and wide green eyes said otherwise. 

 

"Daddy, please...don't make me go...love me, please..."

 

Louis gazed at him for a long an intense moment before deciding to give in. If Harry hadn’t touched him that way; wasn’t begging him and calling him Daddy, he might have stood a chance. But he was already hard and Harry’s submission was a powerful turn on that he didn’t like to think about too hard in case he ended up being the guy that ruined him and left him broken; needing love in return and not getting it, just like he had before he met Louis.

 

“You’re so fucking gorgeous right now,” Louis breathed; unbelting his trousers; guiding Harry with one hand toward his desk. “Lean your front on here,” he suggested.

 

Harry followed his soft orders, sliding down his own trousers before laying front down; leaving his underwear for Louis to remove. Louis opened his top drawer and took out a small bottle, swearing under his breath as he turned back and saw the pale pink softness of the panties he loved so much on his beau.

 

“Fuck Harry, can you give me half a chance?” He muttered, dragging those flimsy panties down to run his hands fully over his ass; kissing his shoulders as he shuffled close, his own trousers and boxers around his ankles.

 

“We have to be quick,” Louis gruffed, slipping two fingers into Harry’s hole swiftly; feeling him stretch around them.

 

“Daddy, please,” Harry whispered, his elbows taking the weight of his body as he pushed his butt upwards, onto Louis’ fingers.

 

“Jesus-fuck,” Louis cast, annoyed. “You can’t just fucking take it, Haz, easy,” he warned.

 

“Need you,” Harry whimpered; dipping his chin so that it rested on the table.

 

“Fucking need you too,” Louis muttered darkly; stroking himself before lining up; knowing this thrust was going to be hard and punishing for his inexperienced beau.

 

“Please,” Harry encouraged.

 

Louis didn’t even try and soften his entry. He flicked his hips and sunk right in; causing Harry to cry out; a loud and pained sound that soon melted into a groan of pleasure as Louis reached around him to grasp his erection.

 

“Shh, Jesus, Haz, they’ll think I’m whipping you in here,” his lips pressed to Harry’s ear; dragging through his curls, down his neck as he withdrew and thrust again, deep, hard, owning.

 

“Yes!” Harry gasped, breathless, full and stretched. “Yes, daddy…”

 

Louis couldn’t keep his wits about him; Harry was shunted up the wooden surface every time he drove his hips forward and he wondered if it was burning his skin; abrasing his nipples, even.

 

His mind didn’t stay too long on the subject as Harry’s sounds grew needier; whining and whimpering beneath him; shot staccato gasps forced out of his body as he filled him, over and over.

 

“You wont fucking walk after this,” Louis promised sexily; not knowing where this dark need came from, this disregard, almost.

 

He wasn’t this guy. He was loving; tender, he was all about Harry’s welfare, his comfort…Only not right now. Right now he needed to be so deep within Harry that he gagged him from the other side of his mouth.

 

Harry’s lips fell open, a sound came out which told Louis he was succeeding in his mission and Harry literally croaked out sounds of disbelief at how he was being fucked; and sucked in as much air as his crushed lungs would allow.

 

His high was approaching fast, like a lightening strike; all electric and stunning; whipping his body into a taut arch as Louis buried within him; so deep and tight that Harry doubted he’d ever get out.

 

 _Stay there_ , he begged as his orgasm reigned and he felt the rush of Louis’ pleasure seep into him. _Please, stay right there…_

 

//

 

Louis’ arms were around him, hugging him close and keeping him from being splayed right across his desk; which is where Harry felt like resting right now, star fished, ready for taking again when Louis could manage it.

 

But they both knew that wasn’t possible, both knew they had to exit this bubble of dark desire and re-enter reality.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Louis panted, easing out of Harry’s body.

 

Harry shifted, trying to get up.

 

“Wait…wait,” Louis said softly, quickly refastening his trousers and tucking his shirt in.

 

He gently helped Harry up; running his hands down his chest and looking up at him.

 

“Did it burn?” He asked worriedly.

 

Harry shook his head, sucking his lower lip into his mouth.

 

“Don’t do that,” Louis cast in a whisper. “Please,” he begged.

 

Harry bit his lip instead; bending to fetch his trousers from around his feet, wincing as he did so.

 

“I’ll do it,” Louis paused him, dressing him caringly, kissing his mouth; over his bitten lip.

 

Harry gazed at him and Louis felt breathless at his beauty, at his total innocence in these moments.

 

Louis wrapped his arms around his waist; cupping his bottom fondly.

 

“Do you think you can sit down?” He wondered.

 

Harry shrugged one shoulder up, twisting this way and that to test his soreness.

 

“Might not move once I have,” he decided.

 

“Good idea,” Louis suggested. “Or do you want to go home?”

 

Harry shook his head. “People already know, it’s too obvious,” he decided.

 

“Alright,” Louis kissed his mouth. “We’ll talk more tonight, okay?”

 

Harry nodded and pulled from his embrace reluctantly. Louis gently patted his behind before he went.

 


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I don't say much- do you want to me to speak more??
> 
> Or just post chapter lol ;)
> 
> Ang

** chapter 15 **

 

Back at home, Harry considered his future with Hasting & Co while he prepared dinner for him and Louis.

 

Louis was coming home late and Harry was planning a little surprise for him; already naked apart from a pair of panties which he knew Louis loved. His apron over them probably looked ridiculous but he didn’t want to get burned.

 

Now that he’d had time to calm down- never mind to mention the fact he’d been fucked into Louis’ desk- he realized that going to LA was exactly what Louis had said- an amazing opportunity. And he knew deep down that he could do the job, knew he and the crew had gelled well out there; knew he could really shine given this chance.

 

But it also meant leaving Louis. And that wasn’t something that sat well.

 

He checked his watch as time wore on, his meal ready to serve and no sign of his beau. He rang his work phone, then his cell, leaving him a voicemail on each to call him and he couldn’t help but worry.

 

What if Simon had found him again? What if he’d been on his way home and had been in an accident? What if Harry went to LA and something bad happened to Louis and he couldn’t get back in time…couldn’t be there to hold him; hold his hand or reassure him that everything was going to be okay?

 

Harry turned off the stove and decided he would go to the office to check on him; pushing into the bedroom to seek out clothes from his stash. He still hadn’t officially moved in, still had a heap of stuff to bring across, but he and Louis were as good as living together so he didn’t feel any rush.

 

He threw a pair of jeans out and a yellow shirt, startling as a soft voice called out as a body filled the doorway.

 

“You’re not putting clothes on, are you?” Louis enquired, his voice husky, his eyes deep with longing.

 

Harry couldn’t help his relieved smile.

 

“Thank god!” he cast, hurrying across the room to throw a hug on Louis.

 

Louis caught him with a chuckle, kissing his cheek.

 

“Hey, you okay?” He checked.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“Thought you were hurt again…” he offered.

 

“Oh,” Louis cupped the back of his head and hugged him with his other arm. “No, I’m okay,” he assured.

 

Harry squeezed him closer.

 

“Look at _you,_ though,” Louis husked; his voice low and pleased.

 

His hand drifted over Harry’s backside; slipped under his underwear to stroke over his ass; pressing a finger to his hole, making him whimper.

 

“Still sore?” Louis asked; lifting his chin to look into his smoky green eyes.

 

Harry shook his head.

 

“Are you lying?” Louis smirked knowingly.

 

“No, daddy,” Harry murmured.

 

“You wore this for me?” He checked, awed.

 

Harry nodded. “Yes, daddy.”

 

Louis blinked, groaning as he drew Harry close for a kiss; kissing him in the way he wished he’d had time to earlier; with all the love he felt; with all the tenderness Harry deserved.

 

“Want you,” Harry panted as Louis pulled away; to see Harry’s need pressing against the front of his flimsy underwear.

 

“Already, huh?” Louis was breathless with his own desire; quickly ripping off his shirt; never mind the buttons, pushing down his trousers and boxers to band his arms around Harry’s waist and pull him onto the bed as he fell; quickly making sure he crawled over him, taking charge.

 

“Lou,” Harry gasped as Louis’ lips left his to kiss down his milky body; over his flesh in soft, loving bursts, taking Harry’s already-hard body into his mouth as his hands wrapped around his thighs from underneath; parting them so he could crawl between them.

 

“Can you wait, babe?” Louis begged. “Can I have you again?”

 

Harry nodded; quickly twisting on the bed to showcase his naked back to his boyfriend; parting his thighs and slipping a pillow under his belly to help support his hips as he jutted his backside up.

 

He felt Louis behind him, fingering him; kissing his skin, whispering things in his ear. He couldn’t make out what but the words were hot, they were making him blush as he arched his back and tried to push his butt up to reach Louis’ erection.

 

Louis shadowed him with his smaller form; his hands going around Harry’s wrists to pin them to the bed; making Harry groan into the cotton of the bedcover where his face naturally pressed with his prone position.

 

“Are you sure, Harry?” He husked into Harry’s ear.

 

Harry whimpered and arched his back again in answer.

 

Louis gently leaned over; the action pressing his tip to Harry’s hole where if he kept leaning with this light pressure, eventually he would broach the tightness and resistance. When he did, Harry tried to get to his knees, but he pressed his weight down; keeping him low and almost flat to the bed; the position dominating for Louis; and pleasurable for Harry if he’d let Louis complete his entry.

 

He felt Harry squirm, knew this was probably too much after their roughness earlier, but his body was still relaxed, still coping and he knew then that the reason Harry was so fidgety was because of the pleasure.

 

He knew he was nailing his prostate this way, he’d nail it even more when he-

 

“Daddy!” Harry cried out; trying to wriggle, to move his arms, not able to escape the pleasure he was experiencing. He humped the bed; feeling the cotton abrase his hard-on, needing more friction.

 

“Easy,” Louis soothed; stilling within him, already deep and tight. He leaned the rest of his weight on Harry’s back; pushing him right in as far as either of their bodies would allow.

 

He heard Harry choke on the fullness; felt his body quiver beneath him.

 

“Never done this, huh,” Louis almost smirked with smugness; withdrawing and sinking back in with equally excruciating slowness; filling him right up and pressing down once more, locking him within.

 

“No,” Harry cried as he withdrew again. “Please, just…daddy...”

 

Louis grimaced at the nick-name, so much closer to his edge when Harry begged him this way; when his body tightened instinctively around him and his cries sounded out loudly in the room as they were now, his leisurely fucking sending Harry insane apparently.

 

“Yeah, you like that,” Louis panted; sinking in deep again; resting there once he was all the way in, Harry full to the brim.

 

“Fuck me,” Harry cast, surprising Louis with his swear-word. _What?_

 

“I am,” Louis muttered, drawing out; easing back in, pushing those last few inches to really nail him to the bed.

 

“No, harder!” Harry whined, his voice desperate, his breathing erratic.

 

Louis shuffled up the bed; pushed Harry’s thighs further apart and flicked his hips; giving Harry the ‘harder’ he’d just asked for. He could see the way his body speared Harry’s from this position, could feel with his own fingers the tremble on his thighs from being spread like this; Louis’ hips surging in between his muscular thighs. He could see Harry’s cheeks splitting to take him, he used his thumbs to spread those cheeks further; snapping his body again to give a quick, full thrust.

 

Harry was a goner, he could tell. He was star-fished, full and being fucked thoroughly for the second time that day, his body was so languid and his cries so ecstatic, Louis wondered if he hadn’t come already against the sheets. He remembered how silly Harry was drunk on desire; he smiled as he drove forward again; shunting Harry up the bed a little with his enthusiasm.

 

“Hard enough?” Louis breathed; leaning over him, filling him with those extra inches as his weight bore down once more.

 

“Harder,” Harry squeezed his eyes shut and tears escaped.

 

“You can’t take any more,” Louis murmured. “I can see; you’re so fucking full of me…”

 

Harry pushed back; not able to take more, but forcing Louis to thrust again; filling him, a tempo he kept up for a moment before his body finally began to cave under the pressure of this intensity.

 

“Can you come for me?” Louis asked.

 

Harry shook his head; wrists still pinned to the bed as Louis fucked into him; splitting him, filling him to the core.

 

Louis altered his angle, made sure he was hitting Harry’s prostate; hearing his gasp as he did so and knowing he was on his way to making him come without touching his dick once.

 

“Come for me,” Louis husked, a demand, a beg.

 

Harry’s body tightened instinctively as his orgasm rose; without manual intervention, with nothing but Louis’ body drilling into his to take him to that high. He almost couldn’t believe it when the light hit the back of his eyes and he came undone, Louis coming undone right behind him with a loud growl of pleasure.

 

“Harry, fuck!” He cried, sinking in one last time as his body released; collapsing against his back and laying there, immobile for several minutes while he gasped in needy air.

 

Harry groaned and shifted; the heavy weight of Louis’ body against his a welcome feeling, but he wanted to be able to hold him, to be held by him.

 

Louis moved and let him curl into his arms; arms which readily hugged him tight; along with lips that kissed his hair.

 

“Haz?” Louis murmured. “Are you okay? Did I hurt you?”

 

Harry shook his head and clung on, tears at the edges of his eyes that he knew any minute now Louis would be able to feel against his ribs, but he didn’t care. He was so in love it hurt; and the sex they shared was so epic and amazing, he’d challenge anyone not to get emotional.

 

“Haz, are you crying?” Louis frowned looking down to where Harry was hiding his face; seeing only the top of his head.

 

“Being silly,” Harry managed on a wobbly voice.

 

“Fuck, I did hurt you, didn’t I?” Louis lamented with a sigh.

 

Harry shook his head. “Don’t want to leave,” he husked. “Don’t want to leave you…”

 

Louis cuddled him tightly to his small body.

 

“You don’t have to,” he promised.

 

Harry lifted his head, hope burning in his eyes.

 

“Will you come with me?”

 

The question knocked the wind out of Louis’ lungs and he wasn’t quite sure why he hadn’t expected it, but he honestly hadn’t. Hadn’t even considered joining Harry in LA; hadn’t thought about a future where they both emigrated.

 

“I-uh,” he cleared his throat. “I don’t know,” he answered honestly.

 

Harry frowned, shifting into a curled sitting-position, obviously in discomfort but trying to hide it.

 

“How can you ask me to go?” Harry wondered. “And you won’t even come with me?”

 

Louis flicked him a look; dragging himself onto his elbows; still sucker-punched from that epicness they’d just shared.

 

“I-It’s for you,” Louis ventured. “I want you to have something of your own without me…to go and succeed, to know you did it alone…”

 

“I don’t want to do it alone!” Harry cast sulkily, getting up from the bed and grabbing the jeans he’d pulled from the wardrobe, dragging them on once he’d found his panties.

 

“What’re you doing,” Louis sighed, sliding to the edge of the bed to stand up.

 

“Don’t!” Harry warned, pulling on his t-shirt; his emotions making him all fingers and thumbs as he struggled, but Louis could only watch him helplessly as he finally managed to get dressed.

 

“Harry, please don’t go,” Louis begged. “I want to wash you and spoon with you and-”

 

“And to not go to LA with me,” Harry added pointedly, bitterness in his words as he made for the doorway.

 

Louis made after him, frowning at his naked state, grabbing some boxers to half-trip, half-step into; hurrying after Harry as he thundered down the stairs towards the front door.

 

“Don’t leave!” Louis called desperately. “You promised you wouldn’t!” he blackmailed.

 

“I lied!” Harry yelled back, slamming the door behind him which Louis opened to hasten after him, down the path.

 

He didn’t care if he was only wearing his underwear, stopping Harry was far more important.

 

“Talk to me!” Louis shouted. “Don’t just run!” he begged.

 

“It’s what I do,” Harry turned; emotions running down his face in rivulets; his cheeks red from exertion.

 

His hair was messed by Louis’ hands, his lips ravaged by him. Underneath his clothes, Louis knew his body was ruined by him- bruised with love and desire. And yet he was leaving.

 

“Then don’t,” Louis begged. “Let’s talk about this…”

 

“Talk about how you’re sending me away- again, may I add-about how it’s for me when you have no idea, do you? You have no idea how much it hurts to hear you say that…like I can just _go_ and feel nothing. Like I won’t really miss you and ache for you and want to be within you every second of every day or have you within me- it doesn’t matter because I just want _you_ Louis. Not LA or some fucking fancy job or the chance to shine…that’s all bullshit because I just want _you_ ,” his voice broke on the last word, his face crumpled. “And all I ever wanted was for you to want me, too. To want me to be here with you- not living it up thousands of miles away. I just wanted you to want me too,” he repeated on a whisper.

 

Louis stood, mouth wide, brain not functioning. His practical side kicked in first.

 

“Please don’t drive like this,” Louis begged as Harry got into his car. “Please!” he yelled.

 

Harry started the engine and backed out of his space; wheel-skidding as he pulled away, leaving Louis to run exasperated hands into his hair.

 

“Fuck!” He hissed; hightailing it back to the house to grab his cell. He quickly dialed.

 

“Niall! Call Zayn…you have to go to Harry’s…we just had a fight and he’s driving…”

 

His friend paused before speaking.

 

“Hi, Lou, nice to hear from you, buddy…” he teased.

 

“This isn’t funny!” Louis snapped. “He could have an accident!”

 

Niall nodded. “Alright. I’ll call Zayn and we’ll make sure Harry gets home,” he agreed.

 

“Thank you,” Louis sighed gratefully, ending the call.

 

Twenty minutes later, Niall knocked on his door.

 

“What did you fight about?” He asked in lieu of a greeting, stepping inside.

 

“Is Zayn with Harry?” Louis delayed answering to check on Harry’s welfare.

 

“On his way now,” Niall confirmed.

 

“Good,” Louis snapped.

 

“So?” Niall prompted, sitting on the sofa beside Louis.

 

Louis rolled his eyes. “This stupid LA thing. I want him to go and carve a career for himself and he thinks I don’t want to be with him.”

 

Niall didn’t say anything. Louis looked to him expectantly and saw a familiar look on his face. An ‘I’m about to tell you you’re being an idiot and you’re not going to like it’ look. Louis sighed.

 

“What?” He asked.

 

“Okay,” Niall twisted and started his line of thought with seriousness. “Just imagine you’re the one that’s been offered the job in LA,” Niall posed. “It'd be great for your career, an opportunity not to be missed, blah-blah-blah…”

 

Louis nodded.

 

“Okay, now would you go?” Niall checked.

 

“No,” Louis frowned.

 

“Why not?” Niall asked.

 

“Because of Harry,” he answered right off.

 

“Right…so why do you think Harry would want to go?” Niall pointed out.

 

Louis made a face. “It’s not the same thing,” he denied. “I’m at the top of my career ladder, Harry’s been held down too long for his, he needs this chance…”

 

“But does your job mean more than Harry?” Niall challenged.

 

“No, of course not,” Louis frowned agitatedly, feeling a fear worming into his belly as the realization began to hit him.

 

“Right, so _you_ may think Harry’s career is more important than you, but _he_ doesn’t…”

 

“But he should!” Louis gasped as the knowledge hit him hard in the solar plexus. “He should take this chance with both hands and smash it!”

 

“But he doesn’t want to go,” Niall guessed.

 

Louis blinked sad lashes down. “He doesn’t want to go alone,” he repeated softly. “He asked me to go with him…”

 

“And what did you say?” Niall wondered.

 

“That he should have something of his own without me,” Louis swallowed, paling with shame.

 

Niall shook his head. “Oh, Lou…”

 

“I didn’t know!” Louis snapped, annoyed, afraid he’d hurt Harry too much this time, afraid his leaving spelt the end of them. He fingered his ring and prayed not. “I was trying to do what’s best for him, trying to give him the world…”

 

Niall reached over and squeezed Louis’ hand.

 

“You need to stop,” Niall murmured. “He doesn’t want the world, he wants _you_.”

 

“That’s what _he_ said,” Louis grumbled.

 

“Lou, I know you’re scared, jeez, I didn’t even think you were gonna let him in at one point, but you did, buddy. And you can’t shut the door in his face now even though you’re shitting your pants, alright?” Niall said, in his inimitable way.

 

“Beautiful analogy, thanks,” Louis derided drily.

 

“Louis, stop sending him to LA and sort your shit out.” Niall instructed.

 

Louis swallowed.

 

“He needs this chance. He’s going to do brilliantly…”

 

Niall blinked.

 

“You’re going with him?” He asked, with the beginnings of a smile.

 

Louis shrugged. “There’s no other choice. He has to know that he can do this; that he’s amazing and let other people see that…but you’re right. He shouldn’t have to do it without me. I just never thought…I didn’t know that-”

 

“That he loves you too much to let you go?” Niall inserted.

 

Louis nodded, running his fingers through his hair with a heavy sigh out of his emotions.

 

“I knew I’d miss him but I wanted him to have this more than my being selfish and keeping him here…I never thought of going with him and when he asked me, I was shocked…”

 

“Someone can stand you for more than five minutes, Tommo,” Niall winked cheekily. “You should hold onto that one.”

 

“If it’s not too late,” Louis whispered.

 

“C’mon,” Niall stood. “We’ll head over there now; I’m sure Zayn’s got it under control…”

 

Louis nodded weakly and stood.

 

“I need to get dressed,” he realized.

 

Niall grinned.

 

“Alright, be quick, though. You have a boy to win back…”

 

//

 

Louis had a shower, changed and did his hair. He was wearing his favourite jeans, a black vest that showed off his tattoos and black converse on his small feet.

 

His lashes looked dark and dangerous, his hair was sexy. He had no idea how attractive he looked, particularly when he smiled, he was always conscious of his height, his small frame. But Niall could appreciate how good his friend looked as he cast looks over at him occasionally on the drive to Harry’s.

 

When they got there, Zayn was sat on the path and Louis frowned at Niall.

 

“What…?” He murmured, bursting out of the passenger door.

 

“Hey, what’s going on?” He asked the dark-haired lad.

 

Zayn scrambled up.

 

“Well, I got here just as he was leaving. He wouldn’t listen or stop to talk. He just grabbed some stuff and went again…” Zayn shared.

 

Louis frowned.

 

“Did he say where he was going?” Louis asked.

 

Zayn ventured him a look.

 

“Zayn?” Niall prompted.

 

“He asked me for a lift to the airport. I said no so he had to call a taxi…but it left a few minutes before you got here…”

 

Louis’ mouth gaped open.

 

“What?” He asked, paling. “Fuck!” he added for good measure. “For fucks sake!”

 

Niall quickly pulled Louis to him to calm him down.

 

“Get in the car, we’ll go now,” he said, looking at Zayn pointedly. “It’s okay babe, you couldn’t have stopped him…”

 

Zayn gave Niall a shaky smile.

 

“Lou, I’m so sorry,” Zayn apologized as they walked toward Niall’s car.

 

“This is my fault,” Louis sighed. “I’ve been such a fucking idiot, like always,” he shook his head.

 

Niall started the car and set off; zooming towards the airport.

 

//

 

The only brief stop Louis made on his run through the terminal was to grab a bunch of red roses; determined to make it to the flight lounge before the plane boarded that Harry was booked on.

 

His contact there was feeling more than generous and he offered them some of his work on advertising campaigns for free in return. To be honest, right now he’d sell his soul to stop that plane flying, but he had to make do with what he could get.

 

Typically, the plane had already boarded and he had to make a mad streak across the runway to hold up the plane, arriving at the top of the stairs panting and wild-eyed.

 

“You can’t take off, I need to see someone! You have to let me on! Please!” He begged.

 

The stewardess took pity on him, asking him the name of the passenger but as soon as she turned her back to go inside the plane to find Harry; he bundled in behind her.

 

“Harry!” He yelled, causing her to turn and look at him impatiently.

 

“Sir, please- wait outside,” she asked.

 

“No way,” he panted, swinging his flowers around in gesturing. “The love of my life is on this plane and you can’t leave without me telling him how much I love him,” he cast.

 

“Him?” A lady passenger next to Louis enquired and Louis nodded. “Aw, how cute,” she beamed, making Louis smile tightly.

 

“Please,” he begged the stewardess.

 

She led him down the aisle toward where Harry was seated; who was so engrossed in his music with his eyes closed to avoid the fear of take off, that he hadn’t seen or heard the commotion upfront.

 

He was sat by the window, trapped by two other passengers.

 

“Um,” Louis said as he reached the end of the row. “Could you maybe poke him in the arm for me?” He asked shyly, now realizing just what the hell he was doing, and with an audience of a hundred people, too.

 

Harry startled and opened his eyes, widening them as he saw Louis there.

 

“Lou?” He questioned, pulling his earplugs out.

 

“Haz, don’t go…please,” Louis begged. He held up his flowers. “I got you these…I’ll get you these every day for the next fifty years or however long you’ll put up with me if you just please don’t go,” he babbled. “I need you…I should have told you…instead I was idiot and tried to do what was best but it isn’t what’s best…it isn’t,” he sighed. “I know that now, I was such an idiot to think it was…god, I can’t live without you, I don’t know what made me think I could…”

 

Harry frowned at his overly emotional speech, not something he was accustomed to Louis doing. He cleared his throat and leaned over to the person beside him.

 

“Do you mind if I get out?” He murmured.

 

The two passengers in the seats next to him let him into the aisle where he stood opposite Louis, stooping to avoid hitting his head.

 

Louis pointed the flowers at him.

 

“Please, Haz. I love you…You might have loved me first but I’ll definitely love you last, I promise,” he swore, causing the passengers to ‘aww’ at his mushy words.

 

Harry blinked lazily, looking at his flowers, smelling them.

 

“You don’t want me to have a high-flying career then?” He checked.

 

Louis almost laughed at his words, knowing he’d won him back. But his laughter came out as tears. He sniffed them back.

 

“Yes. But I’m coming with you when you do,” he added.

 

Harry opened his mouth in surprise. “You are?”

 

Louis nodded. “But just get off this plane, huh?” he asked. “Let me make it up to you…”

 

Harry’s face crumpled into an emotional grin, his dimples deepening. He flicked his eyes to Louis’ and reached out to cup his cheek, running his thumb over the wetness there.

 

“You’re not actually crying are you?” He teased, only not teasing at all, really.

 

He stepped forward to kiss away the salty moisture; taking Louis lips under his own as he wrapped his arms around him, drawing him close, right into his body where he just fit, perfectly; where he belonged. Louis pulled away to the sound of applause and Harry blushed and burrowed his face into Louis’ neck shyly where he cupped the back of his head and squeezed him.

 

“Hey, s’okay,” Louis assured. “No hiding…” he reminded.

 

“If you’re done?” The hostess mused to Louis.

 

Louis gave her his best grin.

 

“Got my man,” he joked, twining his fingers with Harry’s and tugging him down the aisle as the passengers smiled at them happily.

 

“Thank you for your patience ladies and gentlemen, sorry for the delay,” Louis narrated as he went.

 

Harry grinned bashfully behind him; wrapping Louis into an over-enthusiastic hug as soon as they hit the runway. Harry’s case was on its way to LA but would be sent straight back and they were told to come back the next day for it. Harry didn’t care if he never saw his case again as long as he could hug Louis like this for a really, really long time.

 

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Louis kissed Harry’s curls to punctuate his words.

 

Harry pulled away; leaning forward to grab Louis into a kiss; a strong, messy kiss that he escalated by slipping his hands onto Louis’ backside and enjoying his generous shape openly. Louis broke the kiss with a sexy grin.

 

“Hey, leave a little for the bedroom,” he teased warmly.

 

Harry blushed. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

 

“Don’t be sorry. It’s nice to know you can’t keep your hands off me,” Louis admitted.

 

“You look amazing,” Harry grumbled.

 

Louis frowned. Did he? He shrugged.

 

“Wanted to make sure I looked good enough to pull a stunner like you,” he reasoned. “Otherwise all those folks on the plane wouldn’t have been rooting for me…”

 

Harry rolled his eyes and pursed his lips girlishly.

 

“M’not a stunner,” he denied.

 

Louis cupped his cheek and kissed him once more.

 

“You’re fucking gorgeous, now stop arguing with me and let’s get out of here so I can take you home and really make it up to you,” he suggested sassily.

 

Harry grinned and linked their hands once more, heading back into the building.

 

//

 

“Oh, Lou! No…please-no!” Harry cried as Louis’ lips wrapped around him and worked merry magic on his dick.

 

Louis ignored his cries of denial and kept taking him; hollowing his cheeks and flicking his tongue over his tip. Harry cried out; arching his hips off the bed.

 

“Wanna be in you,” Harry whined and Louis immediately stopped his oral pleasures.

 

“Now?” Louis checked before he finished Harry completely.

 

He nodded; all blown green eyes and pink lips. Louis shifted back onto his haunches from where he’d been between his legs.

 

“Where do you want me?” Louis asked coquettishly, making Harry smirk. He was never this playful, this feminine usually. It was weird and fun all at once.

 

“Hands and knees,” he instructed, confident in his direction. “I want to go deep,” he murmured more to himself but Louis heard and groaned as he got into position.

 

Harry lined up behind him, fingering him with lubed digits; his larger body a soft press to Louis’ own bonier form.

 

“Haz,” he gasped as Harry took his hardness in one hand and fucked him with his other.

 

“Yes, daddy,” Harry asked lowly.

 

Louis dipped his head. “Not gonna last,” he warned of his double attack.

 

Harry grinned and lubed himself up, gently pressing to Louis’ hole.

 

“This help?” he wondered, teasing him.

 

He’d never had this power before, this confidence to withhold. He waited for Louis to pant out a ‘yes’ before he pressed forward; slowly filling him.

 

Louis’ back arched; his throat stretched up, his ass too to take Harry deep within. This was only the second time Harry had ever been within him and he felt spell-bound by the feel; the tightness that Louis’ body offered.

 

“More,” Louis encouraged him gently, causing Harry to start thrusting into his body; kneeling up a little to reach his sweet spot, to get enough power into his hips as he thrust. He stroked sensitive fingers down Louis’ torso, down his lovely belly, onto his hips and repeated over and over; loving the feel of that expanse of flesh between his ribs and his groin.

 

His touch brought Louis’ upper body off the bed and soon he was driving up into him as he leaned back into Harry’s body, vertical; making Harry’s fit that much tighter, that much sexier.

 

Harry could kiss his neck this way, could drag fingers through the back of his hair; could own the front of his body including his impressive erection as it jutted up for attention; tight to Louis’ lithe body.

 

Louis reached back and clung to Harry’s neck with his hand, grasping behind to clutch at his thigh, trying to bring them ever tighter, ever closer together when they were already as fitted as they could be; little jerks of Harry’s hips and the slightest push back of Louis’ keeping their mating intense.

 

Harry began to stroke his belly as he felt his high near; knew Louis was close too in his other hand.

 

“Want to see daddy come everywhere,” He murmured in Louis’ ear; sucking kisses down his sensitive neck.

 

Louis groaned and his body jerked; the precipice of his orgasm that striped white seed all across the bed; over Harry’s hand and onto Louis’ belly that he continued stroking, even through his own jarring climax; leaving him to lean back on his haunches; bringing Louis with him as they recovered from their sex.

 

“Don’t let go,” Louis begged as Harry’s arms wound around his waist to tenderly support him, his kisses falling to his shoulder and across his back.

 

“Never,” Harry assured softly.

 

Louis relaxed, still joined, still intimately close and so, so satisfied his body hummed with it. He could literally purr right now he mused as he rubbed his cheek to Harry’s a little behind him.

 

“Don’t leave,” Louis added quietly, knowing this was something he had no right to ask.

 

“I never should have,” Harry admitted; tightening his arms.

 

“Love feeling you in me,” Louis murmured, closing his eyes blissfully with a smile to match.

 

“Lost my prowess a bit,” Harry mused, shifting to withdraw.

 

Louis reached back and grabbed his wrist.

 

“Not yet,” he begged.

 

Harry settled back against his feet; kissing Louis’ neck once more; trailing kisses there; his lips swollen and soft. Those kisses ventured to his shoulder; down over his arm to his bicep; travelled onto his back and then he shuffled closer; reaching as far as Louis’ collarbone in his little test as to how far he could reach without moving them both.

 

That particular venture earned him a groan. He grazed his teeth there, reached up his hands to tweak Louis’ nipples, letting his thumbs work those little tight buds while Louis panted and wriggled in his lap.

 

Harry felt his body respond in kind, still within Louis as he hardened again.

 

“Lou,” he whispered, knowing where this was leading, trying to warn him.

 

“Fuck me again,” Louis panted; a slave to Harry’s touch.

 

By rights, he should be the one delivering the pleasure, owning this moment, but he sensed Harry’s need to do this, to be in charge.

 

He felt Harry’s gentle hand press on his neck, bending him forward until his hands hit the mattress and then Harry flicked his hips and filled him once more, already hard for him so soon after their last climax.

 

“Oh, Jesus,” Louis cried out, the pleasure too much to bear, His body was languid with it; unable to cope and given up in protesting. Harry could literally do whatever he liked to him right now and he doubt he’d give a damn to mind.

 

Luckily for him his younger lover was a gentle giant and thrust into his body with such sweet tenderness that Louis thought he was either going to cry and the gentleness of it all; or flip over and demand Harry fuck him properly. He’d never had this softness, the gentle press of lips to his shoulders where each long, loving kiss told a thousand words of Harry’s feelings for him.

 

It was as Harry was unhurriedly making love to him; bestowing him with those meaningful kisses, that Louis realized. He couldn’t ever let him go, couldn’t live without him, what he'd said in the plane was entirely true. Harry was the love of his life and he wanted to do everything together; with him and especially _for_ him.

 

He couldn’t remember a time when he’d ever felt this desire for someone, ever felt this hard beating in his heart that told him he’d be destroyed should Harry ever leave. And he prayed to god that would never happen because he knew he wouldn’t survive. He’d be a husk- a shell with no middle.

 

He felt the tears slide down his cheeks at the sweetness of it all, the aching tenderness with which Harry fucked him. It was all too much, really. More than he deserved, probably.

 

“I love you, Harry,” he panted breathily; squeezing the bed sheets in tight fists as his high rose a notch at a time, with a leisurely climb.

 

Harry grasped his hips; lay his kisses lower, changing the angle hit body entered him, rubbing something inside that made Louis whimper needily.

 

“Like that, daddy?” Harry whispered. “Am I being a good boy?”

 

Louis groaned and arched his back again; pushing back as Harry eased in; in that excruciatingly sexy way that he did; like he had all the time in the world to love him and make him shatter in the midst of his orgasm.

 

“Fuck, yeah,” Louis strangled out; so near now, he could see lights.

 

Harry took his dick in his hand; making Louis jerk forward to fill his palm and he thought he was going to come with no contact at all, but now he knew this was going to be all kinds of epic. He was almost loathe for Harry to see him this way, utterly undone in his arms, completely obliterated by his slow passion.

 

“Lou…love you…” Harry muttered as he reached for the stars, with each tempered thrust of his body.

 

Louis pushed back as Harry thrust in; meeting him every step of the way and when Harry gently sucked on the sensitive skin of his neck, he knew he was gone.

 

His body released again; all over his thighs and belly; all over the bed. Harry managed two or three last strikes before following suit; buried within Louis once more with a second release into his ass.

 

“I-I can’t…” Louis shook his head, not believing that had just happened.

 

Harry slipped backwards; crashing onto the bed; his mind blacking out; probably from a lack of air.

 

Louis fell forwards but instantly missed his beau. He crawled inelegantly around the bed until he found him; curling up beside him where Harry spooned him; drawing him back into his body with arms around his waist; nuzzling his neck and echoing their position from before.

 

“Mm,” Harry kissed him lazily, squeezing his arms.

 

Louis let himself be wrapped in Harry’s love; a delight not many had gotten to receive.

 

“Stop,” Louis sighed softly. “You’re turning me on with all that moaning,” he complained lightly.

 

“You taste good, though,” Harry smiled against his skin; He nuzzled his nose into Louis’ prickly jaw. “Your stubble feels _so_ good on me…”

 

Louis groaned.

 

“Haz, please stop,” he begged, exhausted, sated but the tingle in his skin told him they could go for more pleasure and still succeed.

 

Harry settled back with a smug smile.

 

“You’re not going anywhere tomorrow that’s outside the vicinity of this bed,” he warned.

 

Louis liked hearing him dole out such rules.

 

“Am I going to be your kept man for the day?” Louis asked excitedly.

 

“Maybe my slave,” Harry considered; even though this was entirely out of the realms of possibility since he knew he’d be a useless dominator and Louis wouldn’t like to be subdued, either.

 

Louis indulged him.

 

“Really? What have you got planned in that dirty little mind of yours?” He wondered.

 

Harry giggled. The sound was heaven to Louis.

 

“Don’t know. Its going to involve tying you up, though,” he teased.

 

Louis smirked. He’d like to see Harry try.

 

“I see,” he mused softly.

 

Harry’s hand slipped around to his backside and deftly pressed there to part his cheeks.

 

“If you can walk, I might even fuck you again,” he added huskily.

 

Louis wriggled away from his touch, still sensitive.

 

“Can you stop sounding like some hardcore version of Harry Styles and bring my boyfriend back?” Louis enquired.

 

Harry nuzzled him.

 

“Sorry…daddy,” he added in a whisper.

 

Louis smiled in relief.

 

“That’s better.”

 

Harry bit his lip, wondering if Louis didn’t like his role-play from before. He was only pretending to be the confident one; only testing his fantasies.

 

“I can hear you worrying,” Louis murmured knowingly, even though Harry hadn’t spoken aloud.

 

Harry shrugged. “Was just pretending before,” he said.

 

Louis twisted in his arms; pulled close again once he settled. Harry’s arm was digging in his side where he laid against the bed but he didn’t care enough to move it.

 

He nuzzled his nose.

 

“Love pretending,” he assured softly.

 

Harry grinned.

 

“Love you,” he said back.

 

“Love you more,” Harry twinkled.

 

“Love you most,” Louis returned with a smirk.

 

“Loved you-”

 

“First,” Louis interrupted him, sticking his tongue out.

 

Harry’s smile was so happy, so carefree that Louis thought they could do this every night if Harry wanted; if he got to see that smile on his lips again.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you ALL so much for coming along for the ride, I love you all especially those who comment, I love you the most!
> 
> I was REALLY hoping to out Stockholm Syndrome up next while it's fresh and save my longer older stories but I haven't edited it yet so we'll see if I manage it- hoping to at least :)
> 
> Ang

** chapter 16 - Epilogue **

 

“So forever then, Lou?” Niall asked as Louis mooched about the fifth ring shop they’d visited today in search of the perfect engagement ring for Harry.

 

Louis had let his friend in on the secret only this morning, knowing Niall would be far too excited about this news and would no doubt blab to Zayn who would then inadvertently clue Harry in.

 

He and Harry had come home to England for Christmas to visit with their families and friends; Harry being with his mum and stepdad while Louis pretended to be with his, too but secretly took this shopping trip.

 

In the months since they’d met, Louis had met Harry’s parents and Harry had met his. He’d visited Des before coming today, officially asking his permission to take his son’s hand in marriage and all that; and Des had been ecstatic at the news.

 

Louis found himself smiling proudly as he peered at the cases and cases of rings on show. He sighed nervously as nothing caught his eye.

 

He turned to Niall.

 

“I want something special…something different,” he expressed.

 

Niall nodded thoughtfully.

 

“I might know a place,” he ventured.

 

Louis shot him a look.

 

“Yeah?”

 

Niall nodded, leading him out into the street.

 

“A friend of mine does traditional Celtic jewellery but she has some commissioned work she’s done that’s not all Irish…”

 

Louis’ face shone with hope.

 

“Lead the way,” he encouraged of his friend.

 

Louis felt like he was walking into a cave of wonders when they reached Irish Mist. He ducked into he dark little corner that was littered with gems and sparkling varieties of jewellery; waiting nervously with his hands in his pockets as Niall spoke to his friend.

 

When Niall reappeared, he was followed by a pretty red-headed girl with pale skin and freckles. She was carrying a glass case full of rings.

 

“Hi, you must be Lou-ee,” she greeted, her accent strong and unguarded.

 

He nodded.

 

“Don’t be nervous, we’ll find you the perfect ring and if it isn’t here, I’ll make you one,” she promised.

 

Louis smiled. “Really, you can do that?”

 

She nodded.

 

He let out a breath of relief.

 

“Just see if there’s anything you like here and we’ll know where to start,” she said.

 

Louis nodded and quickly flitted his eyes along the rows of rings; all perfect in their individuality. He knew they were exactly like the rings Harry already wore- his inscribed ring on his middle finger, and another he’d collected form somewhere that was battered but significant somehow.

 

He licked his lips, his eyes falling on a silver design. It was a thick band with a strip of diamonds across the middle, and one either side smaller and lower-set. It was big, bold but also beautiful. Louis looked at it and pictured it on Harry’s hand.

 

He pointed to it.

 

“That one,” he said breathless with excitement.

 

He flicked a look to Niall and handed it over to the blonde lad once Eve had drawn it out.

 

Niall o'd his mouth.

 

“Louis this is huge,” he declared.

 

Louis grinned. “Yep.”

 

“It’s mahoozive! Look at all dem sparklers in there…”

 

Louis frowned slightly. “You think it’s too much?”

 

“No!” Niall denied quickly. “It’s gorgeous…”

 

Louis let his smile creep back onto his lips.

 

“You think he’ll like it?” He checked.

 

Niall grinned like a loon.

 

“He’ll love it Lou, you know he will…”

 

Louis nodded, taking the ring to check it and then pointing it toward Eve.

 

“This is the one,” he said assuredly.

 

She nodded with a smile.

 

“Its one of my favourites. Not many people select it because it’s obviously meant for a guy really, but even the guys don’t pick it. But it’s so beautiful,” she cooed over her own design as though she hadn’t made it.

 

“How much is it?” Niall asked.

 

Louis rolled his eyes.

 

“I’m taking it,” he said, ignoring the price-tag which when it was rung up on the till, shocked his friend somewhat but Louis didn’t even blink when he handed over his card.

 

“You wait till I tell Zayn,” Niall boasted. “I’ll be like where’s my expensive jewellery…”

 

“He’ll be like, when you buy it,” Louis quipped back.

 

Niall swiped him.

 

“Shut up, just because you’re sickeningly in love…”

 

Louis let out amused breath of air.

 

“And you aren’t…” he accused fondly.

 

Niall actually blushed.

 

“Well…it’s my first Christmas with a guy,” he said softly.

 

Louis hugged him close, excitedly watching Eve clean the ring and put it into a box.

 

“I’m asking him tomorrow,” he shared.

 

“Christmas Eve?” Niall checked.

 

Louis nodded.

 

“But that’s your birthday,” he argued.

 

“I know,” he mused. “It’s also Christmas Eve.”

 

“I don’t get it,” Niall frowned confusedly.

 

“No, you wouldn’t,” Louis ruffled his hair fondly.

 

“Well tell me,” he whined childishly as they left the shop.

 

“It’s just Harry,” Louis shared. “I haven’t spent Christmas with him but I bet he’s like a kid…and he’ll be wanting to open his presents at midnight so…”

 

“You’re going to shock him with that one, like,” Niall guffawed.

 

He grinned.

 

“I know.”

 

“Talking of kids at Christmas, look at your grin, mate, you look giddy…”

 

“I am!” Louis sucked in air, and then sobered. “Well, if he says yes, of course…”

 

Niall rolled his eyes. “Oh, please…”

 

“No, he might not,” Louis worried. “You know, it’s not been a year, yet…”

 

“So? You know how you feel so just go for it,” Niall encouraged.

 

Louis nodded, set in his mission.

 

He turned and hugged his friend as they got back to their cars.

 

“Thanks for doing this with me,” he appreciated.

 

“Are you kidding? I want to be best man, you hear?” He teased warmly.

 

“Of course,” Louis assured easily.

 

“Happy Christmas then, Tommo.” He winked.

 

“I’ll see you tomorrow for my birthday meal you prat,” he reminded.

 

Niall grinned. “Oh, yeah. See you then,” he slipped into his car and headed off.

 

//

 

The meal was a madness that was made a little saner by Harry’s presence. Only a little because he buzzed around the table of guests in the restaurant and chatted animatedly with everybody, being sure to leave nobody out. Louis’ family loved him and welcomed him into the fold, something that gave Louis a great sense of ease.

 

He knew Harry was the kind of person that anybody could love, but after his messy split with Nick, he wondered if his family might be a bit prickly at first, a bit protective of him, but really, one smile from Harry and the unleashing of those dimples had everyone in a pool of mush the same way Louis was every time he smiled at him like that.

 

Harry was wearing slim fitting jeans tonight and a blue shirt that brought out his eyes. His hair was its usual mad mess of curls and his eyes were so alight; so full of happiness that Louis wanted to frame this moment and clutch it tight forever.

 

He’d asked his cousin Tara to take photos, to make sure he had some of Harry and him and Harry together to remember this day; this feeling.

 

As if Harry sensed Louis’ gaze on him, he turned to look at him from across the table where he was chatting now to Zayn. He smiled, pure and happy.

 

‘I love you’, he mouthed.

 

Louis licked his lips. ‘Love you more.’

 

‘Love you most,’ Harry returned.

 

Louis blinked, grinning happily. _Loved you first_ , his mind added.

 

Harry excused himself from his conversation with Zayn and drifted over.

 

He put his hand on Louis' shoulder and leaned down.

 

“If you don’t stop staring at me, this party is going to be over before you get your cake,” he warned.

 

Louis grinned up at him; taking his hand from his shoulder as he twisted; kissing the back of it.

 

“You shouldn’t look so damn sexy then, should you?” He remarked in return.

 

Harry blushed, something he didn’t do nearly as much now but Louis loved that he still did; that he could still make him.

 

“You’re the sexy one,” Harry grumbled of Louis’ outfit of jeans and grey knitted jumper.

 

He’d even pulled a beanie over his hair to tame it from their rather exuberant love-making after showering together this morning. The soft knit hugged his shiny hair and gave his face a boyish quality; he really looked stunning with his fringe poking out, Harry observed.

 

He leaned down for a kiss, Louis lifting his chin to deliver it; the pair of them fondly watched by family and friends.

 

“Happy Birthday, boyfriend,” Harry husked.

 

He said it just in time because the cake was being carried across the room; the table singing Harry Birthday to a very embarrassed Louis.

 

“I said no fuss!” He complained shyly; grabbing Harry’s hand and pulling him into the seat beside him.

 

He leaned into his side, received Harry’s caring arm around him and he pitched his cheek into his shoulder as he tried to hide.

 

Harry smiled and cupped his head.

 

“Come on, blow your candles out,” he goaded.

 

Louis squinted at him, pressing his thumb to Harry's chin where the younger lad captured his lip; releasing it and leaning across to kiss him tenderly in front of everybody before he blew his candles out.

 

“Thank you,” he said, and he meant for organizing this dinner and for everything else.

 

Harry dimpled.

 

“Welcome,” he husked, nodding to the cake.

 

Louis turned and flicked his eyes around the crowd who were all gooey-eyed from their love.

 

He took a deep breath and blew; getting all 23 candles in one lungful. He grinned smugly.

 

“Still got it,” he boasted, clutching Harry’s hand again as he felt him drift away as they were naturally parted by people crowding around the birthday boy.

 

A chant of ‘speech, speech’ started up around the table and Louis began to look sheepish. Finally he sighed.

 

“Alright!” he laughed at the baying crowd.

 

He cleared his throat and stood up, still holding Harry’s hand which he adjusted to just hanging onto his finger otherwise Harry had to sit there with his hand hanging in the air looking silly. As it was; he was like a little boy tagging along with Louis, the older, wiser lad.

 

“So, thank you everybody for coming out for my birthday,” Louis began. “I’m sure Harry’s charm is what got you here, not mine,” he joked.

 

The table chuckled and he let out a breath of relief.

 

“And who can blame you?” He went on. “He certainly charmed me and I have no idea what I’ve done to deserve him, but I’m very pleased that he’s sitting here beside me tonight, celebrating this day with us…”

 

“Get on with it!” Niall yelled in the back.

 

“Get a room!” Zayn shouted right after, making the crowd laugh loudly.

 

Louis turned to Harry who was blushing like mad and sucking his lip.

 

“Haz,” he tugged him gently to stand up. “This is my best birthday yet, because of you,” he credited, making Harry curl shyly into himself.

 

“Stop with the mush,” he murmured, hiding his face.

 

“I love you,” he said. “And I want to say that every year at my birthday like this until I die,” he added emphatically.

 

“Hurry up, then,” Niall heckled.

 

“Bo-ring,” Zayn added for good effect.

 

Louis chuckled and startled as Harry threw his arms around him emotionally; grasping him close.

 

“Mushy bastard,” Harry accused in Louis’ ear.

 

Louis kissed his cheek.

 

“You deserve it,” he said only, turning to cut his cake, hand in hand with Harry as their friends took photos.

 

It was only later; when the guests had left one by one, when they’d left the restaurant and come home to Louis’ parents’ house, when the house was still and quiet and the clock ticked toward twelve, that Louis and Harry lay on the sofa enjoying the simple act of holding each other.

 

Louis sighed contently; his beau in his arms. If he wasn’t so nervous, he might have forgotten about proposing. But he was doing a terrible job of hiding it. Harry was in his arms and could tell something was up. Harry was gazing at the presents, waiting for midnight before he opened one- one being the only present Louis would let him open before the rest of the family woke.

 

“Lou? Everything alright?” Harry checked, in tune with his boyfriend, not knowing why he sensed something amiss.

 

“Hm-mm,” he agreed lightly.

 

Harry fidgeted in his arms; propping himself up somewhat.

 

“You sure?”

 

Louis smiled serenely.

 

“Everything is fine,” he assured.

 

Harry pecked his lips.

 

“Love you.”

 

“Love you, too,” he replied.

 

“Did you have a good birthday?” Harry whispered into the quiet room; all around them eerily silent in the middle of the night.

 

Louis nodded with a happy grin.

 

“The best.”

 

“I’m glad,” Harry bit his lip. “Can I open a present yet?”

 

Louis checked the clock. It was one minute to midnight.

 

“Go for it,” he granted and Harry scrabbled up; crawling across the floor to peek at the presents.

 

“Take the littlest one,” Louis directed with a secret smile.

 

It took Harry a couple of moments to find it; then he excitedly grasped it and turned on his knees; crawling back over which made Louis grin inanely at his babyish technique.

 

“Grown man crawling around on the floor,” he teased.

 

“You don’t usually complain when I’m on my hands and knees,” Harry stuck his tongue out.

 

Louis waited for him to crash into the seat beside him, holding his breath.

 

Harry flicked his eyes to him.

 

“Can I open it?” He checked again.

 

Louis nodded with a smile.

 

Harry pulled off the ribbon slowly, carefully undoing the sellotape to remove the paper. It was such a small box, it must be obvious what was in there, but really, Louis needed to do this properly.

 

As Harry flipped open the lid to the small jewellery box, Louis slid to the floor from the sofa and rested his hands on one knee. Harry flicked his eyes from the box, to Louis, then back again.

 

No words formed in his mind, none pushed out of his mouth. He stared, at one then the other in successive repetition.

 

Louis cleared his throat of husk.

 

“Harry Styles,” he began, reaching for his hand and kissing his knuckles. “Will you marry me?”

 

Harry’s eyes widened, his cheeks flushed and then his face crumpled and Louis saw the tears spilling down before he even really began sobbing. It was like slow motion; action replay and he was waiting for his reply but it wasn’t coming because he was too busy crying.

 

He quickly got off his knees and sat up beside him, pulling him close for a cuddle.

 

“Haz…it’s okay…shh, it’s okay,” he soothed. “You don’t have to say anything; you don’t have to say yes, even…”

 

Harry shook his head; still struggling with forming words.

 

“Alright, I know,” Louis stroked his back gently, cradling him.

 

“Yes,” Harry forced out the word; his voice husked and thin.

 

“What?” Louis pulled away; cupping his cheek, rubbing away his tears with his thumb.

 

“Yes, Louis. My answer is yes,” he said again.

 

Louis’ brows rose, his mouth gaped open and he was the one momentarily speechless.

 

“Fuck,” his lips quivered as he began to grin; the relief and pleasure of this moment overwhelming. “Fuck, you said yes…”

 

“What did you think I’d say,” Harry laughed, it coming out as a sob.

 

“Fuck knows,” Louis whispered, leaning forward to press his mouth to Harry’s, stealing a long and meaningful kiss.

 

When he pulled away he took the ring from the box and slipped it onto Harry’s finger, the large and showy ring looking perfect beside his others.

 

“Forever,” Louis said, trembling.

 

Harry was shaking equally hard.

 

“Forever,” he agreed. “I love you, Lou.”

 

“I love you, too,” Louis kissed him again; their mouths meeting in a sweet; slow union that expressed their need, their desire and their love.

 

“Where did you get this?” Harry asked of the ring.

 

“A friend of Niall’s,” Louis shared. “As soon as I saw it I knew it was perfect. Do you like it?” He checked belatedly.

 

Harry’s girlish look was bordering on princess but Louis didn’t mention it.

 

“Very much,” Harry nodded. “I want to get you one, too.”

 

Louis nodded. “Alright,” he agreed, kissing Harry again. “I asked your dad, by they way,” Louis added. “He gave me permission,” he winked.

 

Harry sucked in a breath of surprised pleasure.

 

“You asked my dad?!” he gaped.

 

Louis nodded with a grin.

 

“What did he say?” Harry wondered.

 

Louis shrugged. “He was really happy,” he shared.

 

Harry gave him a very sweet, lopsided smile.

 

“ _I’m_ really happy,” he said.

 

“Good,” Louis replied.

 

Harry leaned into Louis’ body for a moment, his forehead against his shoulder.

 

“Lou?”

 

“Hmm…?”

 

“Can I take you to bed now?” Harry asked, looking up.

 

Louis blinked.

 

“Thought you’d never ask…”

 

 


End file.
